Chapter three

A/N I hope this chapter is better then the last one. I still don't know what to do to make it better. Any suggestions are much appreciated.

Oh and I decided to give the characters theme songs! Their theme songs will change depending on their mood, what their going through, that kind of thing. Right now Jace's theme song is My Own Enemy by Thousand Foot Krutch and Clary's is Hurt by Thousand Foot Krutch.

And last but far from least thank you to ShadowHunter KaliGurl for being my first reviewer! :)

Latter that night.

Jace was feeling better, he always did after ridding the world of demons. The first thing he did when he got back was check on Isabelle, she was sleeping again but she must have been up at some point, because the letter he left her was on the bed next to her. He smiled and quietly closed the door and went back to his room. Alec had gone to Magnus's for the night and he was alone (his "parents" were both in Idris). He didn't know what to do... He could call Clary but that seemed like a bad idea. He didn't have any other friends. Just Issy, Alec, Clary and ... Simon... gosh he was desperate if he was counting the blood sucker as a friend! Not that he was going to hang out with him or anything.

He went to his room and turned on the radio, quite was the absolute worst thing for him, it gave him time to think and thinking was a VERY dangerous pastime these days. He didn't know much about music, being a shadow hunter didn't give you much time to be a normal teenager. But he liked music and he liked to listen to the lyrics and try to figure out what they meant and what the artist was thinking when they wrote them.

"The secret side of me, I never let you see. I keep it caged, but I can't control it. So stay away from me, the beast is ugly. I feel the rage and I just can't hold it."

God that reminded him of his life right now! But how could make everyone stay away?

"Its scratching on walls, in the closet, in halls, It comes awake and I can't control it. Hiding under the bed, in my body in my head. Why won't somebody come and save me from this make it end!"

He couldn't control it, that was what scared him.

No one would come save his from this, no one could make it end.

"I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin, I must confess that I feel like a monster! I hate what I'v become, the nightmare's just begun, I must confess that I feel like a monster!"

Yep he felt like a monster alright.

The song went on,sounding for all the world as if it had been written about him. There was one part in particular that stood out to him though,

"It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp, there no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart! No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream, MAYBE IT'S INSIDE OF ME STOP THIS MONSTER!"

It wasn't a dream. Unfortunately. And no one could hear hear him scream, mostly cuz he only screamed on the inside, but that seemed to be what the song was getting at.

When the song was done Jace turned off the radio,apparently it wasn't going to be able to distract him just now. Yet at the same time he was glad he had heard that song, it meant he was not quite as alone as he somewhere had an idea of what he felt. Sure he couldn't be as bad off as Jace, hadn't been trained to be a monster the way Jace had, but still someone had a faint idea of what he was going though and that, made him feel so much better. But was it wrong? Was it sick, that the fact that someone else felt his pain made him feel better? No, that's why they wrote the song, to make people feel better... But what if... He cut himself off, no more thinking! Thinking was what was going to kill him! Time for another distraction before he started thinking about killing and dying...again.

Jace jumped off his bed but then just stood there, now what? It was 10, there was no way he was going to bed now (sleeping was only safe during the day, so stayed up as late as he could). So what could he do? He walked to the training room but he didn't really feel like training just now. His phone vibrated in his pocket. It was Clary.

"Hey", Jace answered trying to keep his voice normal.

"Hey", she responded. "You want to come over?"

"It's 10 o'clock Clary." Jace said wishing he could race over there. He decided right then to give himself one last chance with Clary, next time he did the wrong thing though it was over.

"So? Luke said you can spend the night if you sleep on the couch and

remember that he will be watching. Hang on."

She held the phone away from her ear and looked at Luke. "I said it, you heard me, you can go away now."

Luke laughed. "Ok, just remember I talked your mom into this. So you owe me".

"Sorry about that." she said moving her phone back to her ear.

"I take it your mom's not home?" Jace asked.

"Yep, she's away for the weekend for work. So you can come over, then you can help me train in the morning. Maybe you could take me demon hunting?"

"I'll come over and I'll help you train, but we'll see about the demon hunting. It depends how well you do in training."

Clary laughed, "Yes sir! But you should know you're acting like some weird wise old training guy from some movie."

"What ever weirdo I'll be right there i I just need to let Issy know I'm going".

They hung up and Jace went back to Isabelle's room. He opened door and saw that she was still sleeping. He left her a note and gently kissed his little sister's forehead. This was the real him, the way wanted to be-nice to everyone-but he couldn't be. If he was people would like him, and that was just to dangerous to risk. When people got close to him he hurt them. But now he had one last chance to change that.

When he got to her house Clary was waiting at the door.

"Jace!"

She cried as she threw herself at him. He held her tightly in his strong arms, and she felt so safe, but it was Jace that wasn't safe not her. He had a way of making her forget all her worries, sometimes even the ones about him, but that was a luxury she couldn't afford just now.

As Jace stood there in the doorway holding his Clary in his arms, he felt better then he had in a long time. He kissed her and as she kissed back he felt glad to be alive, it was a rare feeling these days and one he only really felt with Clary. He picked her up and spun her around laughing as she protested. But it had been so long since she had seen him this happy, heard him really laugh, that she ended up laughing to.

Jace Clary had decided , needed (and was going) to have fun. As soon as he set her down she started whacking him with a pillow off the couch.

"Geez Clary, I didn't know you called me over here to kill me!"

He snachted up a anther pillow and the fight was on.

Jace was having the most fun he had in a long time. Clary however was having fun but she couldn't quite stop worrying about Jace. She felt better having him with her so she could keep him safe though and he seemed to be having fun so she decided to try to do the same, just seeing him smiling again was enough to make her want to laugh out loud with joy.

After a while it became clear that Jace was the better fighter by far even if it was just pillows. Clary spent most of the time either hiding under couch cushions or being beaten mercilessly. Although she did get her fair share of hits in, which Jace claimed was all due to his amazing training skills. Once he got bored of winning (which took a while because come on, this is Jace we're talking about) he pinned Clary to the floor and began tickling her.

"Stop it!" she squealed what she could stop laughing long enough to breath.

"Jace! Stop it!"

Jace glanced over his shoulder and saw Luke standing there laughing.

"I was just making sure you guys are ok" He said. "I'll leave you alone".

Jace had only looked away for a second but that was all Clary needed to pull him on top of her. Then she had a problem. How did she get him OFF of her? Luckily he was so shocked that she had caught him off guard she was able to do it again, flipping him over and rolling on top of him.

"I win!", she called out!

"Cheater!" Jace replied laughing.

"Sore loser! Get Ready for payback!" She leaned forward and bit his ear.

"Ouch! You little demon!"

"Right, you beat me to death with pillows, and I'm the demon?"

Instead of answering her, Jace reached up and pulled her down for a kiss. She stopped fighting him as soon as his lips touched hers and melted into the kiss.

After that they curled up on the couch and turned on the tv. They half watched but mostly they just talked about things that neither of them really cared about-but it was nice to just be together-taking kissing breaks every now and then.

At about about 1 in the morning Clary got up and turned the lights off. She could tell Jace was not his normal self, as much as he wanted to think he was ok, and though he may have been doing better that didn't mean he was safe yet or that he didn't need to be taken care of. Right now what he needed was sleep. She could probably use some sleep too now that she thought about it. Lately her sleep had been interrupted but worry about Jace. But if he was with her he was safe at least for right now, so maybe they could both get some much needed rest. They kept talking for more then an hour, at wich point Jace started yawning. Clary convinced him to lay down on the couch, which was really quite an easy task once she promised to lay down with him.

Laying her head on his shoulder she snuggled up next to him. This was how life should be!

Jace felt Clary snuggling up next to him, getting comfortable for the night, and smiled this was how life should be!

"Goodnight my angel." Jace whispered in her ear, then be began kissing her neck.

"Night, I love you Jace". She whispered back, enjoining the feel of his lips.

"I love you too Clary."

After that they just lie there, kissing and caressing each other (but nothing as would cause Luke to freak out should he happen to come in).

Jace's last thoughts as he started to drift off were of how much he didn't deserve this and he wondered if he could ever be as good for Clary as she was for him. He doubted it, she would be better off without him he knew, but...

Clary feeling him tense ever so slightly started kissing him again to take his mind of whatever was bothering him. He tensed a bit more then once again relaxed into her affection, letting himself forget everything for just little while.

Clary still couldn't sleep, it was ok though, she happy just to be with Jace but...he was NOT OK and the way he had tensed just now proved it. Still there wasn't anything else she could do to help him just now. So she just lay there, warm and cozy, trying to think of ways to help her beloved Jace before he went to place she couldn't follow and never came back. That was her biggest fear, thing thing she had to prevent at all cost, but how?

N/A

The song Jace heard is Monster by Skillet. I highly recommend it.

Also this chapter reminded me of another song by Skillet, Those Nights. If you listen to it you'll see why.