McGee stepped off the elevator and practically threw his bag down next to his desk. Was it possible to feel like screaming out of anger and crying from loneliness all at the same time? Some of the other Cyber Crimes occupants looked up and a chorus of "Morning, Boss!" rang out in the quiet room.
McGee grumbled his reply to his co-workers as he took his place behind the dual computers. Slumping into his chair, he pulled his keyboard closer and hit one of the buttons with such fury that several of the men glanced toward each other.
"Get back to work," McGee barked to them.
"Yes, Boss," they chorused.
McGee sighed heavily, trying to remain calm. He glanced toward the two men with an apologetic look. He had to focus and get through the task he'd been given by the Director he now cursed profusely.
As night fell, McGee found himself unable to concentrate on his writing. Even the jazz he normally fed his muse wasn't keeping him on task. His mind kept venturing back to Israel, to Ziva and to the absurd notion her father had come up with.
Finally resigning himself from the work he seriously needed to do, he settled behind his computer for the second time that day to write a message to the person he missed the most.
To: mossad_babe I honestly tried, Ziva. After I e-mailed you this morning I went to work and straight to Vance's office. He was less than pleased with my telling him that you were needed at NCIS. Can you believe, he thought I was trying to tell him how to do his job? That man has no idea about our team dynamic. Love,
From: sexi_tech_master
Subject: Vance
So needless to say, I have no sway with the new Director. Let's hope that Gibbs can fix this.
Tim
He ran his hands down his face after sending the e-mail off. Inhaling deeply and turning off the monitor, he rose to his feet and retired to his bedroom. Falling backward onto the mattress, his thoughts again drifted across the ocean and to a single woman. He smiled as her face filled his mind.
Ziva busied herself with the assignments her father gave her to keep her mind off the situation with Michael - work assignments, that is. Anytime she was busy doing something work-related, it meant she wasn't thinking about how angry she was, and the satisfaction of a job well done helped to keep her sane. Still, not a day passed where she didn't think of NCIS, and of McGee especially.
She wasn't sure what it meant, that he was on her mind constantly, but rather than being unnerved by the thoughts, she found herself somewhat comforted. But then she would think of her father's arrangement, and while she was still angry, she felt another emotion she wasn't entirely accustomed to.
Fear.
What if she couldn't talk her way out of this marriage? What if she was forced to marry this man, whom was admittedly attractive, but whom she had no feelings for whatsoever, aside from perhaps a bit of loathing? What if she was forced to stay in Israel, and the only way out was to flee the country, never coming back if she wanted to stay alive?
What if she never saw McGee again?
The last question forced a gasp from her mouth, and her hand flew up to cover it. No. She would not allow her father to win at this. She would fight, and she would return to the U.S. There was no question now. She was determined to return to NCIS, to return to Tim, to return to her life in America. She had never felt more alive, more of a real person, than she had there. And what Ziva wants, Ziva gets. She wouldn't give up.
Her mind made up, she quickly made the drive to her father's house, jogging to the home and breezing her way through and up the stairs to enter her room. She pulled her laptop out from its hiding place and opened it, more determined than ever to turn things around. She would be back at NCIS and away from her father and his plans.
"Two e-mails," she muttered to herself upon opening up her account. Her eyes brightened when she saw the subject of the second e-mail: Vance. Had he talked to him? Perhaps there was good news to be read. She quickly opened the first e-mail, reading through and finding an ache in her chest on reading his words. He always had been one to attempt to make things better; he couldn't possibly know what she was going through, how angry she truly was, but here he was, offering sympathy and a willing ear.
He was giving her everything, and she was stuck here, unable to do anything except feel sorry for herself and wait for his e-mails. She couldn't risk talking to him; if her father discovered she was talking to someone from NCIS, he would probably up the date of the wedding and she would be married by next week. She would not let that happen.
She clicked out of that e-mail and scrolled up to read the other he had sent, the one possibly insuring her future. Her heart fell as she saw that he had been unsuccessful. But she steeled her features and sat up straighter. They just needed to be persistent. And perhaps, involve a few other people in their endeavor.
To: sexi_tech_master Tim, I will not lie and say I am not disappointed to hear Vance was not sympathetic to your pleas. At least you tried. That is all I can possibly ask. Perhaps you could talk to Abby, and she could talk to Gibbs? I am sure she would like to see myself and Tony back at NCIS again, as well. Keep trying with Vance. I look forward to hearing from you again. Love,
From: mossad_babe
Subject: RE: Vance
I just wanted to say thank you for the words of encouragement. I am always astounded at how positive you can be, how much you would rather someone else be happy than yourself. And . . . I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I know it does not do either one of us any good to tell you that, but I thought you should know. I am determined to return to the United States and when I do . . . I would like for us to talk.
Ziva
Ziva. She was in front of him. He felt the familiar flutters of butterflies in his stomach. His smile mirrored her own and he began to walk. He bumped into person after person, yet she still seemed miles away from him. Her smile remained as he desperately tried to join her side. He called out to her. She was his destination. It had been far too long since he'd seen her, and yet a mere friendly hug was out of the question.
His eyes were glued to hers as he finally, somehow, stopped in front of her. He smiled once more and, without hesitation, wrapped his arms around her waist and bent down to kiss her.
A noise erupted in his ear, causing Tim to sit straight up in his bed. "Ziva."
Tim's chest deflated and he felt a pain in his chest as if his heart had dropped. Reaching over, Tim hit a button on the top of his alarm clock. Zero-six-hundred. He calculated in his head what time that would make it in Israel. Thirteen-hundred. He quickly got out of bed and turned his computer on.
He had to get ready for work but he really wanted to see if there might be something waiting for him. He thought of the dream as he saw Ziva's name on the screen. Reading through her e-mail, his smile widened and as he reached her comment of thinking of him, his mind returned to the dream he'd been having before he woke up.
She wanted to talk when she got back to the States. With Ziva's English, that could mean a variety of things. Was she going to kill him for his flirtatious e-mails? No, but she had flirted back. At least, he thought she had been flirting back with him. She had said that she had been thinking of him and that she missed him. Could she possibly want to…
To: mossad_babe Should I be worried about this talk? I realize that I've been a little… bold in some of my recent messages. I apologize for being forward. I really wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of a stapler or something.
From: sexi_tech_master
Subject: RE: RE: Vance
He didn't really think that she'd come after him with a stapler but he thought it might bring a smile to her face.
Since you were honest, I will be too. (Insert deep breath, lol) I have been thinking of you as well. Yes, I know it does nothing for us being so far apart but hopefully it won't be like that for much longer. Love,
Tim
He again thought of the dream he'd woken up from. Dreams always meant something and he'd been kissing Ziva in his dream. That dream would bring a smile to his face all day.
"Ziva. Your next assignment." Eli handed a folder to his daughter, who took it and scanned the contents.
She looked back up at him after reading through the folder. "Yes, Director," she said formally, turning on her heel to exit the room.
"Ziva." His voice was stern, and forced her to face him again. He gave her a look. "Are you ever going to speak to me like I am your father again?"
"That depends," she replied. "Are you going to act like you are my father?"
His eyes narrowed. "I am doing what is best for you."
"You have no idea what is best for me," she said softly, then turned and walked out the door, thinking to herself, What is best for me is back in the United States, at NCIS.
That night, Ziva logged into her e-mail, eager to see if McGee had responded positively to her admission. She had been thinking about it all day, every spare moment she had. This was definitely not a simple matter of missing a friend. There was more to it than that. Much more.
Just as she was being logged in, Ziva's cell phone rang. She let out a groan of frustration and pulled it from her pocket, answering it and then leaving the room to speak when the caller turned out to be someone work-related.
At about the same time, Eli was climbing the stairs to see Ziva, seeking to speak with her about what had happened earlier. He peeked into her bedroom. "Zivaleh?" he asked, stepping inside. She wasn't there. He let out a huff, turning to leave, when a flashing message on Ziva's laptop caught his attention. He knew he shouldn't look; it was her private computer, but he was her father. He had every right to know what she was doing.
The subject of the e-mail made him raise an eyebrow. Vance. The NCIS director. And from a personal e-mail address. Interesting. Very interesting.
He clicked on it, opening it and scanning through the contents. Ah. Tim. Timothy McGee, he would presume. He had been thinking about her . . . as well? Well, well. What was going on with this Tim character? Ziva had told him she had not found another man to be with when he had prodded her and yet, this message seemed to prove the opposite.
He had seen the dossier on this Timothy fellow. Surely Ziva could find a better man to be with than him. Like Michael. And besides, she was here and Timothy was in America. It would not be good for her to be attached to someone she could not even physically be with.
He clicked the 'delete' button, sending the message to the trash, then exited the room again. He was simply doing what he felt was best for her, even if that meant she would marry a man she didn't love instead of someone she obviously cared about.
She would hate him if she ever discovered what he had done, but for now, it didn't matter. She would forgive him in time, when she saw that he was right and her life in America indeed was over.
The last few weeks had been the longest ever. He had checked his work e-mail almost twice daily and he couldn't even count how often he checked his home e-mail. She had simply stopped sending him messages. He tried to write it off as she was working and didn't have the few minutes to check her inbox.
However, he couldn't help but think that maybe she had been thinking something totally different when she said she'd been thinking of him. Maybe she'd meant that she only thought of him as a very good friend and that was it. He'd been stupid, thinking that she'd actually developed feelings for him. He was a geek and she was… she was amazing. He'd always said that she was amazing.
Tim walked through his apartment door after another long day of trying to crack another difficult level of encryption. Jethro jumped as he saw his master returning home. He tried to look happy to be home, but after checking his e-mail again and finding nothing from Ziva, his mood stayed sour.
If it was possible, he missed her even more now that their connection had been severed. Jethro finally settled down after he filled his bowls. Tim knew he probably needed to eat as well, but he couldn't find anything that called to his stomach. He simply wasn't hungry.
After changing into a t-shirt and his boxers, he returned to his computer and sat down. He opened up his browser and logged into his e-mail account. Nothing. He sighed and closed the browser once more. A few more clicks of the keyboard and four pictures popped up against his desktop. He smiled softly at the photos that Tony had taken of her in California. She'd probably kill him if she knew he had e-mailed them to his home computer.
She really was beautiful. He shook his head as he caught himself thinking like Tony. Ziva was beautiful even without the bikini. Clothes! His mind screamed. She's beautiful with clothes on; any clothes. Though, she's probably beautiful without--No!
Tim retreated to his typewriter and before he knew it, he'd written an entire eight page chapter on Officer Lisa. After reading them, he groaned and picked them up. They hovered above his shredder for a moment before he changed his mind and added the pages to his binder.
He was kissing Ziva. His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, her hands had woven their way around the base of his neck. He pulled back from the kiss, a smile plastered on his face.
"So you wanted to talk?" Tim said softly.
"Yes. I do believe that it is time we move on."
Ziva turned and walked away. Tim watched as she walked up to a man. He couldn't see the man's face properly but somehow he knew this man. His heart dropped as he saw her wrap her arms around him and kiss him with much more enthusiasm than when he'd kissed her.
He woke from this dream. It was 5:30 in the morning, according to his watch. He turned over and tried to go back to sleep but the image of Ziva kissing the faceless man haunted him. He got up and went to his computer. Logging in, he found his inbox still without a message from the beautiful Israeli.
He went to work trying not to think about the number of weeks he hadn't heard from Ziva. He kept kicking himself for assuming that she had liked him, that she wanted to talk about… he wasn't even sure what she wanted to talk about. He knew what he had hoped she'd meant but then silence.
He'd known her for three years and had only seen her have feelings for one guy, maybe two. Both men had been charming, charismatic and handsome. He didn't have those qualities; at least not to the level that would interest Ziva.
"Boss, boss?"
He was interrupted by one of the younger guys working with him. He sounded bored as he told the guy that what he was talking about was the simplest thing in decrypting. As the guy returned to his desk he heard a voice behind him; one that sounded unwaveringly familiar.
"Boss?"
Tim turned to see Gibbs standing behind him. He quickly explained why the other members of Cyber Crimes called him Boss. Gibbs, he saw, found it slightly humorous. Tim's breath almost caught in his chest as Gibbs asked if he'd talked to Ziva.
He knew that he couldn't lie. Gibbs would see through that. He fudged it a little by saying that he'd only spoken to her once a week until she stopped speaking to him all together a few weeks ago. He didn't mention that it was after he'd told her that he thought of her.
"Put her on," Gibbs said into his phone. Tim found it unnerving that Gibbs continued to stare at him while he was talking. "Ziva."
Ziva! McGee thought. He's talking to Ziva! Ok, calm down. DO NOT take the phone from him. DO NOT!
"I'm glad you're ok. We saw you on ZNN."
Ziva was hurt? He suddenly felt guilty that he'd been upset at not getting any messages from her. Gibbs continued to stare at him while he worried about Ziva and how she'd been hurt.
"We miss you, Ziva," Gibbs told her.
Yes. I miss you. I mean, we; we miss you. DO NOT take the phone from him.
Gibbs finally hung up the phone, still staring at Tim. "What happened to Ziva? Is she ok?"
"Something change, McGee?" Gibbs asked him. McGee shifted nervously in front of Gibbs. How was he suppose to tell him that he… How was he suppose to tell his boss that he had feelings for Ziva?