A/N: Hey everyone! I am so lucky that I've been able to write fairly quickly. Not sure that's how this is going to work ALL the time, but when I am constantly thinking about what is coming next, it's easier to write. However, sometimes classes get in the way.
I just want to say how much I appreciate EVERYONE who has reviewed, Pm'ed, or followed/favorited. It means so much and please please continue. I know this is a fic that isn't on the mainstream. It's very different and it has a chance of getting even MORE different. Like I said from the beginning - I don't want the big thing to be about coming out. I honestly just wish that one day people will be able to go home and say "I think I'm in love with..." and it wouldn't matter the gender, we would just be happy regardless because love is so rare to find. I am going to be treating this fic a lot like that when it gets to that point. However, I have a feeling we have a while to go before that. But I promise, if you still with me, you're going to get an amazing idea out of this. Someone could probably write it better as I've not written interactions between a deaf person and a hearing person before, but as someone from that community, I'm going to do my best.
Anyways, that's enough of that rant. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review. Even if you hate it... well, if you hate it - lie?
-Lyn
Emily's POV
We sat down at the independently owned diner just about a half a mile off campus and the waitress came right over to us and took our orders. It was so weird how even though Paige couldn't hear - or hear well with her hearing aid, she was still able to understand the waitress and place her order without missing a beat. It wasn't that I thought she was incapable because apparently she was completely capable – perhaps more than I was, but she was just so intriguing to watch and she captivated me every time she spoke, moved, or heck, even breathed.
"What?" she asked when she caught me watching her.
I shook my head and felt my face flush. My mom always told me staring wasn't good, but I couldn't help it. I never had a deaf friend before and it was very fascinating to me.
"No, you're watching me. Don't be shy." She narrowed her eyes at me in thought and smiled knowingly. "You've never met a deaf person before, have you?"
I shook my head before speaking. "No, but I mean, I don't think it's weird or anything. It doesn't bother me, in fact, I'm actually quite fascinated by how you cope so well. Wait, I didn't mean…cope…as in…you are limited…" Jesus Christ I'm going to dig myself into a hole. "I…I… I mean… shit." I looked up at her to see a rather amused expression on her face. "I'm sorry. I just don't know what is acceptable to say and what isn't. I don't want to offend you…"
"Emily, relax," she began. "You don't have to worry about offending me. Others, maybe. But me? No."
I smiled shyly as her words eased my anxiety. "Would it be inappropriate to ask you a question?"
"Go for it."
"Okay…I don't know how to phrase it," I admitted scrunching my nose.
"Emily," she coaxed as she placed her hand over mine to comfort me.
I could tell she sensed my nervousness. I had my dad to thank for that. My dad was a fairly straightforward guy, but he was also one that didn't pry into asking questions but rather he just took things for what they were and that was it. My mom, on the other hand, was just as inquisitive as I was…or rather, I was as inquisitive as she. My mom always wanted to know more and when she got the answers to those questions, more replaced them. I guessed I had been passed down that particular gene but having seen my dad just leave well enough alone, in situations like this I tended to get very nervous because I was conflicted between asking questions and letting my curious side take over and not overstepping a line.
"You can ask me anything. I'll answer as honestly as I can. If it ever gets to a point where it's too invasive, I'll let you know, but you don't have to worry about me being mad," Paige finished.
"Okay," I smiled widely at her.
I had just met the girl – truly – this morning, but I was really beginning to like her. She was easy to be around and I didn't have any friends in LA aside from Hanna.
I took a breath and just decided to blurt out my questions – slowly of course. "Have you always been deaf?"
"No," she said definitely. "I lost my hearing when I was 13 – which is why I speak without a deaf accent. I am still able to pronounce all of my words like I did when I was a kid. "
"Can you hear anything?"
"Sometimes. My hearing is better on some days than others. I'm not sure why, it really shouldn't be but my hearing aid helps. When people talk normally I can hear them at pretty much just above a whisper on good days. On bad days, I can hardly hear anything. If I don't have the hearing aid in, I can't hear anything, really. Oh, this one time…" She began telling her story just as food arrived and I patiently waited for her to finish her story but she dove in and starting taking a fry, so I followed.
"So anyways, at my high school just about a year or so after I lost my hearing, I was in the locker room cleaning up after swimming. Thankfully I had changed and the fire alarm went off. Now, if you can imagine going from hearing nothing- completely silence to all of a sudden this loud, obnoxious alarm – well, it scared the hell out of me. I jumped back against the locker – having zero idea of what was going on. The coach found me against the locker - see we didn't have any lights flashing. It was just the sound, so I hadn't a clue of what was going on. Anyway, so coach grabbed me and bag and hustled me out of the locker room in the winter time. It is never extremely cold here, but it just so happened to be the coldest day of the year. I had no coat, only flip flops and no coat. "
We both laughed at her story. I could totally see her freezing her butt off in the middle of the cold, not knowing what the heck was going on. I had to admit, it was probably terrifying for her.
"So, all in all, that was the day I found out that I can hear very loud noises even without the hearing aid!" she concluded.
"So that's why you can hear the buzzer at the start of the race…"
"Yea, pretty much. I mean, it's not loud. It is so faint to me that if it was only the level of volume of which I hear it now when I was 12, I probably would have never heard it at all. That was one thing I was so surprised by – all the background noise that I never realized was there. When you're hearing, you tune out so much and then when that's taken away, the smallest, most faint sound is so dynamic. And this isn't for everyone, I mean, hearing loss isn't the same for everyone."
The conversation fell silent and we both began eating our sandwiches like we had been starved for months. I had never been to this diner before, but it was absolutely fantastic. It felt good to know that I wasn't the only athlete that could eat their weight in food. We both ordered gigantic burgers – hers with no onions, mine with no onions or pickles, and it came with a monstrosity of fries. I could tell that the burgers were real meat and the fries very well could have been hand cut.
"How did you find this place?" I questioned her. "This food is amazing!"
She smiled widely at me. "I'm glad you like it. A good friend of mine owns it."
"Well, I really need to meet them! This is fantastic"
"If you think their burgers are good, you'll have to try their pancakes. Wait…you do eat pancakes, right?" She narrowed her eyes at me questioningly
I scoffed. "Do I eat pancakes? Pft. Does a cat meow?"
We both laughed at my turn of phrase.
"I am so surprised at how well you can understand me," I blurted out. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean.."
"Hey, I told you…it's fine. And I don't catch every single word, but you also don't realize what you have done to help me out just after you found out."
"Me? What have I done aside from talking too fast?"
"No, it's perfect. You have no idea how you just facing me – waiting for the waitress to put down the plates before resuming talking to me, speaking slowly...how all of it helps."
I bowed my head down and smiled shyly. "I didn't realize I was doing all of that per-say. I just know that I want to talk with you, so I was trying to make sure I could continue doing that – especially because I don't sign."
"Well, I still owe you a lesson. You free?"
A wide grin overtook the lower half of my face. "Yea, it's Saturday. I have nowhere to be – just some homework that I can do tonight or tomorrow."
"Where's your dorm?" she asked
"De Neve."
"Okay, so how about this," she began as she pulled her wallet out to pay. I grabbed mine too to pay for my half, but she swatted my hand away.
"What?" I looked at her confused.
"I got this."
"No. Paige!"
"Emily, my treat. I invited you. I got this."
"Paige, please let me…" I trailed off because she had closed her eyes and I knew she couldn't really hear the words I was saying – just that I was speaking and she began shaking her head from side to side.
She opened her eyes at me and smiled when she realized I had stopped talking. "Fine. Just, let me leave the tip?" I pleaded.
"Deal."
We exited the diner and stood under the shade of the palm tree.
"So why don't we walk to your dorm – you can grab what you need to study and then I'll take us to my place. I can guarantee it'll be quieter than the library and it'll definitely be better company."
"You live off campus?"
"Yea, I don't live too far. I live with my Aunt Kathy. She's not really my aunt, but honestly, she might as well be my mom."
"Sounds like a plan," I agreed nodding my head.
We walked the slightly longer distance back to my dorm in silence, but it was the most comfortable I had felt with anyone, ever. Paige had introduced me into a whole different world and there was just something about her that made me want to spend more time with her. She was confident, but I could tell that she had a long past – I could see it in her eyes. Paige just had this presence about her that inspired me or something. I couldn't form it into words. She just had an affect on me in a very positive way.
As we continued to walk, I kept sneaking glances at her. She was just barely shorter than I. It was such as small difference that unless we were side by side one could hardly tell. Her hair was colored auburn – I could tell she colored because her natural brown roots were showing through, however it gave her a certain character and her locks contrasted well with her pale skin. She had worn her up after practice, but I had seen it down a few times – before practice and when I'd see her around campus so I knew that it laid just on her shoulders. Her eyes were a dark brown – almost as dark as mine but not quite, however they were very deep and focused.
"Why do you keep staring at me?" she quizzed out of the blue turning her head to look at me.
I stuttered trying to get words out but failing completely.
She smiled cockily and turned her head back to focus where she was going.
It was no surprise that Hanna was gone when I got back. She mentioned something about her mom picking her up to go shopping downtown in the midmorning.
"So, here's the room." I said as I entered, Paige following behind me.
"Hmm?"
I'm going to have to get used to this. I turned around to face her and pointed to my bed. "This is it. You can sit down if you want while I grab my stuff. Won't be but a few minutes."
She didn't sit down, but simply ran her fingers over my cork board that hung above my desk and contained a bunch of photos of my family, friends, and former life in Rosewood. She scanned my walls and the picture of Spencer and me. It was taken during our senior year when we went on a trip to New York City.
She stopped on a picture of my dad, my mom, and me and pointed to it.
"Are these your parents?"
I nodded at her when she looked over at me.
"You look a lot like your dad."
I laughed. I got that a lot. "My mom would argue that I'm just as stubborn too."
I put one last thing in my bag and touched her arm to get her attention. She seemed to be in deep thought as she looked through all of my pictures.
"Are you close with your family?" She asked sitting on my bed finally.
"Well, yea. My parents and I have always been close. We haven't always gotten along, but we've gotten through things. They are the sole reason I'm here. They wouldn't let me give up on my dream of being a 'Bruin'."
She hummed and nodded her head. I could tell that she was lost in her own thoughts, but I didn't feel the need to pry – at least not yet.
"Hey Paige?" I said moving my head towards her peripheral vision. I didn't feel that I should keep touching her. I mean, it's one way I knew would get her attention, but it seemed kind of invasive of personal space.
She turned her head to look at me and I moved my head back. "Can I ask you another question?"
This time she seemed like she was ready for a bomb to hit her. I wasn't sure why, but she nodded still the same.
"How did you lose your hearing?"
"Ahh. The million dollar question," she said almost laughing. "Simple. Brain trauma."
"Did you hit your head really hard or something?"
She continued that weird laugh/smile. "Something like that."
I could tell she wasn't really ready to talk about it. Maybe she had gotten into a wreck? Maybe she lost someone? I couldn't be sure, but instead of prying I decided to quickly change the subject.
"Are you ready to go? My bag is together and you promised to teach me."
She stood up and nodded. "Yea… let's go."
As we exited the building, Paige spoke up. "I'm parked over by the pool."
I must have been looking at her oddly because she followed the prior statement with "yes, I can drive. Deaf, not blind."
"Sorry, Paige. I don't mean to keep acting like the world's largest asshole –slash-dork. I just don't know what you can and cannot do. I mean, I know you aren't an invalid."
She looked at me curiously. "Did you just say I wasn't in-VAL-id?"
"NO! I said In-va-LID. Like, incapable…"
She started laughing really hard. I just stood in the middle of the walkway perplexed until she calmed herself down. She kept apologizing over and over but couldn't say much until she started breathing normally. "The way your lips say each syllable is the same, it is only the influx of your voice – your tone – that changes. Lip reading is not a science," she explained.
Now I understood what was so funny. It was good that she could laugh, but I felt like an idiot.
"Emily, it happens all the time. Don't be embarrassed." At those words, I finally allowed myself to realize how funny the situation was.
After our laughter fit settled down, we resumed our walk towards the pool and we made a slight left towards the parking lot.
"I'm just up here," she motioned.
I followed her passed all the cars and the only other vehicle was a crotch rocket parked in motorcycle parking. It was black and red and had two saddle bags on each side of the tail.
"umm… Paige?"
She turned towards me. "What?"
"Is…this…yours?" I hesitated.
"Could you really see me in Prius?" she quizzed.
"But this is a bike…"
"It's a Honda." She confirmed vaguely while nodding your head.
"I…I can't get on that."
"Sure you can."
She walked over to the saddle bag and pulled out an extra helmet and put it on the back seat.
I looked nervously at the bike and then back to her and then back to the bike.
"Paige…"
"Emily, trust me."
I didn't know why I should, I mean I barely knew the girl, but something inside of me craved adventure. I did trust her. I didn't know her, but I trusted her.
"Now listen to me, Emily," she instructed. "Put your bag on your back and make sure it's tight but comfortable. You're going to sit on the back seat. If you bend your knees slightly, there will be two pegs for your feet. You'll feel them but they aren't very big. When I get on, I'll motion for you to come close. Press closely against me and wrap your arms around my waist. When I turn the bike, like when it leans, lean with it. Don't panic. Understand?"
I nodded my head.
"Now is the time to ask questions because you know I won't be able to hear you once we get on."
"I understand."
She smiled sweetly at me and motioned for me to do as I was instructed.
I saw her take off her hearing aid and put it in her bag before securing her bag atop of the saddle bags on the bag. She caught my eye and gave me a reassuring look and a small nod. She slipped on her helmet and climbed over the seat before motioning for me to get close. She started up the bike and I felt it purr underneath of me. It made her body vibrate against mine. I held on tight as she popped up the kickstand and walked it out of its parking space. She turned her head to the side and with the words "hold on tight" we rode off, my arms around her slender waist being the only thing securing me to the fast-moving hunk of metal.
