See Ch 1 for disclaimers…

The coffee cup was hot against her hand again as Jane opened the door.

Maura turned around and stood up the second she saw who it was. She chewed her bottom lip, frustrated that Korsak hadn't listened. Part of her wanted to just scream in aggravation. The other part wanted to burst into tears.

Jane watched the expressions filter across Maura's face. Seeing her now, without the glass between them, Jane wasn't sure what she wanted to do. She was torn between wanting to hug her and promise it would be okay or shake the living daylights out of her.

Not trusting her reaction Jane moved so the table was between them and dropped into a chair.

Maura's eyes narrowed at her choice. "Good morning Detective."

Jane raised both her eyebrows and gritted her teeth. "Really? We're going to start with the Detective bullshit this morning? Well I'm not calling you Doctor so get the fuck over yourself." Jane noticed the widened eyes staring back at her. Good. She wanted Maura to look at her, to pay attention to her. "Because right now I'm too angry to be here as a detective. I'm definitely here as Jane and I only will to talk to Maura. Dr. Isles can go find her own conversation and stay the hell out of mine with you. Are we clear?"

Maura nodded as she sat down, feeling the resentment wash away, leaving her drained and exhausted. If Jane was angry, it meant that she cared and right now it was strangely comforting.

They looked at each other across the expanse of the table for long, immeasurable, moments.

Jane slid the cup of coffee across the table, her voice coming out softly. "I got you this. Sorry that it isn't very fresh. I remembered to get the organic soy milk this time."

Studying the detailed script on the side of the cup, Maura couldn't stop the lump forming in the back of her throat. She took a sip. It was perfect, just the way she liked it. She looked up at Jane and it was her undoing.

When Maura started sobbing, her shoulders shaking silently, Jane jumped to her feet. "Oh my god, Maura, it's only coffee. It wasn't supposed to make you cry." Maura only seemed to cry harder. Jane was around the table in a second and had Maura in her arms the next. It took a minute but Maura's arms crept around her back and her forehead rested on her shoulder.

Eventually the tears slowed and Maura pulled away. "I need a tissue."

Jane nodded. "Come on. Let's go to the ladies room and then I'll bring you home."

Maura curled against the car door as Jane pulled out the BPD lot, the exhaustion and stress from the night pounding through her body. It had seemed so harmless last night when Bruno had offered to take her on her first urban spelunking adventure. She closed her eyes against the glare of morning through the window.

At the first stoplight Jane couldn't take it anymore. "So really? Breaking and entering now Maura?"

She kept her eyes closed. "It's not like that and you know it. It was just exploring an abandoned building."

Jane gripped the steering wheel tightly. "Right because condemned, abandoned property is the safest place to go at night with a stranger, never mind the fact that it's illegal and last time I checked you are a government employee. Better yet you're a government employee that works directly with law enforcement."

Maura sighed. "Bruno isn't a complete stranger. He is the founder of Urban Exploration Underground. I met him at monthly group meeting a few weeks ago."

"You're making it worse." Jane hit the steering wheel with a hand. "I don't want to hear that you've been planning this."

Maura opened an eye and glared at Jane. "I didn't plan it and you're the one asking me questions. I was curious about it so I went to a meeting and then last night when I was online I ran into Bruno. He invited me and I went. It wasn't some clandestine adventure I've been planning for months behind your back."

"Well you've never expressed an interest to me. Not once have I heard 'Oh hey Jane by the way I'd like to go explore abandoned buildings for a hobby." She glared back at Maura. "And the reason I haven't heard about it is because you know that shit is illegal and I'm going to tell you that it isn't a good idea."

Turning to look out the passenger window, Maura watched the bustle of a typical workday morning in Boston. "You're still not hearing me Jane. I told you this wasn't planned. I was curious so I went to a meeting to see what it was about. That's what I do. If something interests me I try to learn about it. Last night was purely by chance."

"No it wasn't Maura. Shit. It wasn't. If you hadn't gone to that meeting you never would have met Bruno and you never would have gone last night." Jane glanced quickly at Maura, realizing her back was to her. She let out a low frustrated growl. She didn't want to fight with her. She swallowed and took a deep breath, carefully keeping her voice quiet. "You could have gotten hurt."

Jane pulled into Maura's driveway and put the car into park. Maura sat quietly for a moment staring at the brick wall before rolling to face Jane. She could see the tension in Jane's face in the set of her jaw. "Jane both of us know better than anybody else that you can get hurt just going to work for the day." She took a breath, formulating what she wanted to say. "I don't want to live my life without actually living it anymore. Everything can change in an instant and nothing is guaranteed. I want to see more and do more. "

"Fuck Maura, then go try something like rock climbing. You have half of a sporting goods store in your house right now. You don't need to risk your job to see more and do more." Jane stared over at Maura and eventually hard hazel eyes stared right back. The emotion pouring from the other woman was staggering and it almost hurt to breathe through it.

Jane was looking at her hard, anger swirling with concern and Maura felt tears tightening in her throat the longer she looked at her. She fisted her hands and felt her nails bite into her palms as her chest tightened. Suddenly the need to scream welled through her and she bit her bottom lip, turning and opening the car door. "Thank you for the ride home."

Licking her lips against the sudden, unexpected urge to cry Jane felt the dismissal in the words. "Not a problem. I'll call you later." She watched Maura get out and close the door, walking towards her back patio. A swell of panic made her heart race and she fumbled with the door, standing up, leaning against it. "Maura!" The other woman turned around and Jane struggled with what to say.

Maura waited, struggling against the urge to ask Jane to stay with her. Her heart pounded, but she bit the words back, waiting to see what Jane wanted.

Jane gripped the top of the car door. She wished she hadn't opened her mouth. She had no idea what to say but Maura was waiting. "Promise me you'll stay here." She watched Maura let out a sigh.

Not sure how to interpret the request Maura studied the tense grip of Jane's hand on the door and the almost wistful expression on her face. She blinked, wondering why everything was so hard, why everything hand to change. "This is my home Jane. Where else would I go?" She unlocked the door and pushed it open. "I'll talk to you later."

Jane stood there long after the door closed. Leaving felt wrong but Maura had walked in without her. She finally slid back into the car and drove off, missing the motion of the curtain against the front window as it fell back into place.

Frost twirled a pen in his fingers. He'd been staring at Jane for the past five minutes and she still wasn't aware. She'd also been staring at the same page in the file she was holding for the same amount of time. "Riveting reading there Jane?" She glanced at him, seeming almost surprised to see him there.

"I'm just reading up on good ol' Bruno." Jane pushed back with a frustrated sigh. "Not that there is much here to read."

He shook his head. "Are you sure about that Jane? Because you've been staring at that file since you got back to the station."

"Don't you have anything better to do than to analyze what I'm up to? Get your own life already." As much as she hated feeling like Frost had been analyzing her for the moment it was reassuring. "Frost you've known Maura for years now. What do you think is going on with her lately?"

He could see her frustration. "I don't know her like you do Jane. Sure we'll go get drinks together and she's been great with helping me deal with the dead body thing, but she doesn't share much personally with me." He tapped the pen against the desk edge. "She's friendly with all of us Jane but she's also an island. Surround by everyone and everything but encapsulated at the same time. She's a good friend but I can't say I understand her. Maura is always put together, so in control. We're friends but I don't know her. I bet your relationship with her is rare for her."

Jane didn't bother disagreeing with him. She would have to be the first to admit she loved that she had something special with Maura. Which is why it still hurt that she'd stopped Korsak from calling her last night. "Yeah, well that might have been true but lately I have no idea what even interests her anymore. It used to be I couldn't go a day without hearing about something she read or wanted to try but not anymore. I guess I've been kicked off the island."

Frost frowned at her. "Self involved much Rizzoli?" He ignored the confused expression. "Remember when you were a friggin bitch on wheels after you found out Casey was back and didn't call you? I don't think I've watched a person try as hard as Maura to spend time with someone and you kept shooting her down. Over and over again with the rejection and you weren't polite about it. I saw it Jane. And she was still there when you needed a shoulder to cry on. You weren't kicked off the island, you jumped off and now you want back on."

Jane rubbed her thumb against the ridge of scar on her palm. The more she thought about it the more she could see Frost's point. She didn't agree but it was an intriguing thought. Had she been rejecting Maura? They were too close for Maura to think like that right? "That's what we do Frost. How do you think she finally met Hope? Do you think she would have done that on her own? We push each other, care for each other and when things got tough with Hope I was there for her." Jane tapped the file in front of her. "I'm missing the answer and I think I'll find it here."

Frost rolled his eyes. "Or you could just get back in the damn car and go over and talk to her. I still can't believe you're back here and not at her house. If she was my best friend I know where I'd be."

Jane ran her hands through her hair with a groan. "She didn't want me here last night and she dismissed me in her driveway this morning if you really want to know." She leaned her forehead against her palms, hiding behind a curtain of hair. "I might not be the genius but even I can figure out that hint."

"Jane Rizzoli you're the one that just claimed you were kicked off the island. Did you ever think that if you want back on it you'd have to swim up and push your way back?" Frost sighed. "Or maybe she just can't tell what you want anymore either. She has my sympathy on that one."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jane jumped when her cell buzzed at her hip. She groaned as she read the text. "Oh shit, my day just got even better. I promised Casey I'd have dinner with him tonight. I was going to head over to Maura's. I still have to tell her about the laced drink. She just looked too exhausted this morning to hear another thing. Shit, shit, shit." She leaned back in the chair and stared at the ceiling. "I don't want to go right now while all this is going on." She sat up. "This is why I don't do relationships. They're too hard to manage in my life." She sighed.

Frost watched her antics in amusement. "Call Casey and reschedule, problem solved."

"I can't do that. I always do that and then the relationship eventually fails because I'm not present enough in it. Plus I don't think she wants me around today, I just want to be around." Jane looked at him gave a small laugh. "You know for a guy you make a pretty good girlfriend."

Frost smiled. "It's part of my charm. But if I'm getting to play the role of girlfriend here I'm going to suggest that you skip the phone call and go over there and check on her. If you're distracted by Maura during your date it's going to fail." Leaning back he stretched a bit. "And you're useless here anyhow. Go drop by and see how she is."

The suggestion felt perfect. Jane grabbed the folder as she stood up. "Thanks Frost. You're a good partner."

He watched her leave without waiting for him to respond.

Angela brought both mugs of tea over to the couch. "Well I think the whole experience sounds fascinating." She handed Maura her mug. "I remember when there were people in some of those buildings. I was just a child but they weren't always empty shells."

Maura let the cup warm her hands and pulled her lap blanket up a bit. "It was like stepping back to a moment that was frozen in time. I could almost imagine all the children when we were in one of the rooms that had all the cot frames scattered in it." She looked at the liquid in her cup, her distorted likeness reflected back at her in the amber liquid. "In another time I could have been one of those children."

Angela reached out and rubbed Maura's foot under the blanket. "Not you honey. You would have charmed the pants off any adoptive couple that walked in."

Sipping her tea slowly, Maura took a deep breath. "No I wouldn't have. I was an odd kid and even if people were interested they would have found out that I was from a poor bloodline and I'd be passed right over."

"Not a chance. I know if I would have walked in, I would have just scooped you right up." Angela took an experimental sip. "I like this blend."

Maura gave a small smile, deciding to direct the conversation away from her poor chances of adoption. "I would have been Jane's sister then. I wonder how that would have worked out?"

Angela snorted. "You'd have been in detention with her every other week. You apparently like risk and Jane as a teenager thrived on it." She took another sip. "I would have finally had a daughter that appreciated shopping and a canopy bed."

"I'll go shopping with you anytime you want." Maura picked at the edge of the blanket. "Jane's upset with me."

Angela took a moment, looking across the family room. "I haven't talked with Jane but I can imagine that she's scared for you. She knows how much your job means to you and the fact that you risked it again has her confused." She looked a Maura and she could see the weariness etched there. "But you need to talk to Jane." Angela decided to take small risk. "She just doesn't understand. Don't wait until it's too late."

An array of scenarios ran through Maura's mind. Angela was looking at her intently. There was a message she was supposed to figure out in her words. A familiar knock at the front door stopped the question on the tip of her tongue and Angela was up before Maura could even react.

Jane watched the door open and she frowned at her mother. "Ma what are you doing here?"

Angela pointed her finger at Jane. "Frost came in this afternoon and told me what happened. Somebody hand to come over and take care of that poor girl. Janie I'm surprised at you. Did you leave her here after that night she had?"

Hitting the door way with her palm Jane bit back a growl. "I brought her home and she dismissed me in the driveway."

Angela shook her head firmly. "I don't believe that for a second and even if she did, since when do you listen when she tries to push you away? I know I don't listen to you when you pull your crap."

Jane didn't have an answer so she just stepped around Angela. Walking into the family room she had to admit Maura did look dejected. Jane walked over to the couch and stared down at her. Yes, Maura looked dejected and something else. Something Jane couldn't quite for words for. Could a person look lost? Because that was the one word that kept jumping to the front of her mind.

Maura bit the inside of her cheek. Why did Jane have to look at her like that? It was making it hard to breathe and she was swallowing against tears again.

Angela walked in and picked up her cup of tea. "I'm going to take this back to the guest house. Maura I'll check in with you later about dinner." She gave Jane a pointed look before retreating.

Playing with her hands Jane sat awkwardly down on the chair closest to the couch. "Did you get any sleep?"

Maura looked Jane's hands, watched her as she nervously rand her fingers over her scars. "Some." She licked her lips, her voice sounded strained to her own ears. Swallowing again, she looked up at Jane, studying her. "Enough to feel a bit more rested."

Running her palms against her thighs, Jane met Maura's eyes for a minute. The room felt pressurized. "Good, I'm glad." She winced a bit at how brusque she sounded. She didn't mean to. Her phone rang and she glanced at the number and put it back without answering.

The words were out of her mouth before Maura could censor them. "Who was that?" She curled her fingers into the blanket. It was none of her business.

Maura's tone caught Jane off guard. It almost sounded angry. "It was just Casey. I'll call him back later."

Starting at her dining room table Maura measured her breathing. "Jane, do you have plans?"

Grasping her knees Jane wasn't sure why it felt so wrong. More than anything at that moment she wished she had just cancelled her date and she wasn't sure why. "I had dinner plans but I was going to cancel. I just didn't want to do it at the office in front of Frost."

"It's a good thing you didn't because I have plans of my own." It wasn't the truth but it wasn't a lie. She had plans but they involved Jane's mother at the moment and Jane knew it. Maura kept her eyes steady and level on Jane. "Go Jane. I mean it, go. We'll talk tomorrow." She looked back to the table. "I can't deal with anything right now, but I promise tomorrow."

Jane looked at Maura and before she could protest the other woman cut her off.

"Please Jane, just go. If you stay here I'll have to think that you did it out of pity and I can't handle that right now." Maura looked over to Jane. She could see the confusion. She wanted Jane to just laugh at her or yell at her. To say she wanted to stay and watch a movie. Maura didn't want her to stand up to leave but that was what happened.

Jane reached out a hand and put it on Maura shoulder. She left it there, feeling the warmth of her through the cotton shirt. A moment passed but Maura seemed resolute. When the silence continued she looked up at Jane with a curious expression. Jane felt her heart clamor in chest and the instinct to comfort twitched through her, scary in its intensity. She took a quick step back as she sucked in a deep breath. "Okay, we're on for tomorrow then."

Maura closed her eyes before she nodded slowly. Tomorrow it was. It was the right choice. It hurt but it was the right choice. Standing up she followed Jane to the door. "Thank you for checking on me."

Jane stood on the front stoop. "You can't thank me for something I wanted to do." She took two steps down before looking over her shoulder. Maura was standing in the doorway leaning against the frame. There was something in her expression that made Jane stop until her heart was beating so fast it was uncomfortable. She shoved both hands in her pockets and turned around quickly, pausing one more moment before walking away.