"I don't want to see you with someone else..." Roy said, taking a deep breath and finally gaining confidence. Deciding if he was to say it…

Then damn it, he'd say it like a man.

"I don't want to see you with someone else, because I want to be with you, Jean."

Jeans eyes widened. He paused, not sure if in good taste or in shock. Roy seemed to have come to terms with what he had said, because he didn't look ashamed.

"You want…to be with…me?" Jean repeated slowly.

Roy nodded simply. Not willing to give him any more information. Havoc was a smart guy…he'd figure it out. Roy watched as his eyes filled with understanding.

"In a romantic way…" Jean finished. It was no longer a question.

"Yes." Roy answered solemnly.

Havoc remained silent for a long moment. He simply stared at Roy. As if he was unsure if he were telling the truth. As if to quell his doubts, Roy came close, his hand still holding Havoc's in his own. Jean tried not to tense up but remained. Their eyes locked and the blonde felt Roy's breath on his face.

"I've wanted to be with you for a long time…" Roy whispered, "But I didn't think…"

"That I'd want you?" Jean finished.

Roy nodded once more.

Jean looked down at his boots. It wasn't that he was overly opposed to Roy, but he'd never been attracted to a man before. And he was tentative to reject Roy, given how close they were. He let out a slow sigh,

"I'm…not saying no…but…this, is a lot to take in, Boss…"

"I understand that it takes time…" Roy answered easily, his voice still a whisper, "But I'd like it if you'd give me a chance…"

Jean looked into Roy's dark eyes.

"Boss…"

"Please…" Roy pleaded. His pressed his forehead against Jean's. Havoc couldn't help but flinch at the contact. "Please…" Jean shut his eyes, feeling somewhat afraid. The experience so foreign to him, but not unwanted.

He was just lonely. He told himself. He'd just said that to Roy this morning, he reasoned, that's why he hasn't pushed Roy away. Roy breathing was heavy, as if he were afraid. Havoc realized his own breathing was heavy as well,

"I-I need to think…" Jean stuttered.

"Okay." Roy answered, pulling away. Jean felt calmer now, more in control. Roy still looked wary, "But whatever you decide, I hope that this doesn't affect our friendship…"

Jean swallowed nervously. Not sure what to say, but he felt the same so,

"Me too."

Roy left his vehicle and entered his home silently. He was unsure of how to feel. Should be somber? Hopeful? Anxious? He wasn't sure. He was grateful that Jean hadn't flat out rejected him or run away. He seemed surprised, and nervous to be sure…but not in the way Roy was expecting. It didn't look as if he were afraid of Roy but…something else…

He grabbed a whiskey bottle, not bothering with a tumbler. He buttoned his jacket slowly, thoughtfully. What would it feel like having Jean strip him? He blushed and looked away. Probably would never happen, even if it was a nice daydream. Stripped of his uniform, he crawled into his bed; taking shot from the bottle. The warmth burning his mouth and throat. He couldn't get too hammered; he had to be at work in the morning. He laid back in thought, staring up at the ceiling.

He'd finally done it.

He'd told Havoc how he'd felt. What would happen if he said no? Worst cast: probably avoid him, but Roy didn't figure he'd tell anyone. Jean was still a loyal soldier. What if he said yes? That was an even more complicated question. He didn't even think Jean was gay.

But then again…no one thought HE was gay either…

Roy took another shot. He wished he could hope. But he found himself wondering why Havoc would want to be with him at all. He sighed, taking another swig from the bottle. He curled in the bed, wrapping his arms around himself.

Lonely…

Jean made it back to the barracks and entered his room wearily. Breda looked at him and immediately questioned him,

"Jean, you ok?"

"Yea…" Havoc said slowly, his eyes not focused on anything in particular.

"You sure?" Breda asked, "You get dumped or something?"

Havoc shook his head,

"Just…need to think for a while…"

Breda nodded and watched as the Lieutenant pulled out a cigarette and smoked it. He sat down on his bed and stared at the wall.

Colonel Roy Mustang, was gay. Colonel Roy Mustang, his superior, wanted to date him. Did he ever say date? Havoc couldn't remember…what if he just wanted to fuck? The thought made him blush and his stomach turn. He remembered how it felt to be so close to him, their foreheads touching. It hadn't felt bad…

But there was a huge difference between foreheads touching and dicks touching. He sighed and lay back on his bed. It wasn't that Roy was ugly. He was famous for being a good-looking womanizer. Jean wondered how much of that rumor was actually true.

He closed his eyes, picturing himself with Roy. Nothing too graphic, but Roy holding him. Napping? Sure napping, his breath tickling his forehead. Their fingers intertwined. It was odd. Not uncomfortable, but foreign. Something he'd never tried to imagine before. He wanted to be disgusted. To adamantly deny it. To be a real man. But Roy was gay…and he was a real man. Gay or otherwise.

He unlaced his boots and removed his uniform; crawling under his comforter…He lay silently, wondering if it was fair to say no. Obviously there was SOME interest. And after all, they were both lonely.

Why not see what the Colonel had to offer?

Hello darlings! I know it's been a while. But I finally got my laptop fixed on R&R and am now ready to keep updating my fics! As usual, please let me know what you think! I appreciate any feedback (that and it usually makes the updates come out faster) Happy Reading! ^_^