Thank you Zaabeth, my own personal angel :)
…
Rin bounced his leg up and down as he watched the clock in his last lesson before lunch, sharp teeth chewing on his lip as the seconds ticked away. He'd managed to miss both Nagisa and Rei this morning due to oversleeping but he was desperate to talk to them.
After a bit of research Rin discovered the mysterious swimmer from last night was a Nanase Haruka. He was in the same year as himself but in the other half so they weren't in any lessons together. This explained why Rin hadn't recognised him. It wasn't exactly a huge school but some people managed to slip under the radar.
He'd been ecstatic last night when he'd seen him swimming, finally gaining that fourth member their team so sorely needed. Granted, he'd managed to convince his sister sign up as manager for their team but she didn't help much when it came to actual competitions.
But this Haruka guy was fast, possibly even faster than Rin himself. He was bound to bag them a few wins and put their swim club on the map. And hopefully gain a few new members to boot.
It also meant that they could enter relay with four members like Nagisa was so desperate to do. As children he and Rin had been part of the same swimming club and had entered many relays as a team but now they lacked numbers. He just had to hope Haruka was able to swim backstroke as that was evidently the position they were missing after Rei finally mastered the art of butterfly.
Rin jumped when he heard the bell ringing, finally indicating the end of the lesson. With a smirk, he packed up his belongings and practically ran out the classroom, barely pausing to hear his teacher set the homework.
He rushed down the corridors and broke into a sprint when he finally reached the court yard, spotting a blonde and a blunette on the far side.
"Rin-rin!" Nagisa shouted, giving up trying to spoon feed Rei in favour of waving enthusiastically at Rin.
"Ah, hello Rin-san." Rei greeted as he noticed Rin making his way towards them.
"I have news." Rin announced breathlessly, dropping to his knees besides the pair.
"Really?" Rei asked.
"Did they finally bring Iwatobi bread back to the canteen? We need to get some!" Nagisa cried, shaking Rei in his excitement.
"It's nothing to do with bread." Rin shook his head.
"Oh." Nagisa pouted, dropping his head to Rei's shoulder.
"What is it?" Rei questioned, trying to ignore the blonde sulking besides him.
"I've found us a new swim club member." He told the pair with a smug smile.
"Really? Someone agreed to join?" Rei asked in disbelief.
"Well, technically they didn't actually agree." He admitted.
"But you said we had a new member." Nagisa pointed out, stealthily helping himself to Rei's food.
"Who is this person?" Rei asked, deciding it just wasn't worth the fight today with Nagisa.
"Nanase Haruka." Rin replied to two blank faces. "My age, dark hair, about my height, keeps to himself a lot."
"Not ringing any bells." Nagisa shook his head, it was a very broad definition.
"Ugh!" Rin moaned, whipping his phone out his bag.
He went on the schools website and brought up the photo for his year group, trailing along the row he was on before successfully finding Haruka, glancing to the side with a serious expression. He zoomed in on the boy before turning around the phone for his friends.
"This guy."
"Oh him!" Nagisa nodded. "I know him."
"What did you say his name was again?" Rei asked.
"Haruka." He answered.
"Right." Rei chewed his lip, clearly choosing his next words very carefully. "I think it would be great for the team to have more members but, ah, isn't Haruka-senpai a little strange?"
"Yes, he talks to himself!" Nagisa said with a giggle.
"So what if he does?" Rin shrugged, not mentioning that Haruka had been happily talking to himself last night when he'd seen him.
"Well, it's a rather odd habit wouldn't you say?" Rei said.
"I suppose." He agreed.
"Maybe he's not talking to himself and there is actually someone there only he can see. What if it's a demon?" Nagisa gasped.
"Nagisa." Rin sighed. "Haruka does not have his own personal demon."
"Well just to be sure we should pour salt around the pool so he cannot taint the water." He instructed.
"Now you are just being ridiculous." Rei shook his head.
"Look, it doesn't matter how eccentric the guy is when he's this great at swimming. It's exactly what our team needs right now." Rin said.
"You're right Rin-rin." Nagisa nodded. "We shouldn't discriminate against someone just because they talk to people from the other side."
"Sure." He rolled his eyes, deciding it was better to agree rather than let Nagisa come up with anymore theories.
"Where is Haruka-senpai?" Rei asked, glancing around the courtyard. "So we can extend an invitation to him."
"Not sure." Rin shrugged. "He probably eats somewhere he can be alone."
"With his ghosts." Nagisa whispered with a giggle.
…
Haruka stared upwards, watching the clouds floating across the sky while Makoto chatted animatedly next to him. The clouds always interested him, all that water held in the sky, only dropping when it got too heavy. He often wondered what clouds felt like, were they soft like cotton or damp like moss.
When he was younger he'd asked Makoto what it felt like to touch the clouds, to look down at the earth surrounded by brilliant white. But he'd only received a laugh in response, before an admission that he'd never experienced it.
Haruka could picture Makoto on his cloud, a fully-fledged angel, protruding from his back strong, large wings. He's still be watching Haruka, even if his good deed was over he'd still feel that attachment, that need to protect. But he wouldn't be able to touch him, never be able to see him again.
Both boys glanced towards the door of the roof as it was thrown open and three boys stepped out into sunlight. Haruka tutted before continuing eating, clearly not bothered by the presence of the others.
"There he is!" The blonde shouted excitedly, pointing to their corner of the roof.
"Who are they?" Makoto asked as they rushed over to them.
"I don't know." Haruka shrugged.
"Well they seem to know you." He replied with a smile, glad for potential friends for his Haru.
The threesome arrived at his feet and kneeled down before him, all looking at him with wide and questioning eyes.
"Say hello." Makoto instructed.
"Hello." He said with a roll of his eyes.
"Hi, Haruka?" Rin asked, receiving a quick nod as response. "I am Rin and this is Rei and Nagisa.
"Hi Haru-chan!"
"Hello Haruka-senpai." They greeted at the same time.
"Okay." Haruka said slowly, wondering how far he could run before they asked him if he had accepted Jesus as his saviour or forced him to join a cult.
"Don't." Makoto warned. "Don't be rude."
"What can I do for you?" Haruka asked with a sigh, trying to ignore Makoto's proud, beaming smile.
"Well, I am the captain of the swim team and I came by last night to check I'd locked up." Rin explained. "I noticed you in the pool."
"Apologise for going in the pool." Makoto hissed in panic.
"Sorry but you weren't using it." Haruka shrugged.
"That's fine, we're not bothered." Rin shook his head. "I was impressed by how fast you were so…"
"We want you to join the team!" Nagisa interrupted, leaning forward to look at Haruka with wide sparkling eyes.
"No." Haruka replied quickly.
"Haru!" Makoto gasped.
"What?" He mumbled, sick of pretending Makoto wasn't there.
"You should at least think about it." He told him.
"Why?"
"Because this is a big decision." He said.
"No it's not, I don't want to join." He whispered.
"This is a good opportunity for you, chance to make friends." He smiled. "And there will be a pool."
"Still don't want to." He quipped stubbornly.
The three swim team members shared confused looks as Haruka continued his bizarre one-sided argument under his breath.
"Ghosts." Nagisa whispered in a sing song voice.
"Alright, fine!" Haruka growled. "I'll think about it, okay? Happy?"
"Yes, I suppose so." Rin said as Makoto nodded. "Right, we'll see you around Haruka. Come to us when you have an answer."
Quickly the threesome scrambled to their feet and rushed from the roof, talking to each other in hushed tones. Haruka didn't doubt it was about him but he didn't really care, he was completely used to it by now. Least with them gone he could enjoy the rest of his lunch in piece.
…
"I used to swim you know?" Makoto said as the pair sat down to dinner.
"Really?" Haruka asked, torn between wanting to know more about Makoto's past and wishing he would drop this whole swim team thing.
"Yeah. Back stroke." He went on, Haruka hummed in interest. "Sousuke used to swim and he wanted me to as well but I was scared of the water so I was reluctant. But after weeks I finally went with him and it wasn't so bad and with backstroke I could still see the sky. So even if I was surrounded by water there was still a way out, a safe place."
"I only swim free." He replied.
"I know you do." He chuckled. "But I'm sure they'll work around that on the team."
"I am not joining." Haruka shook his head sternly.
"At least think about it." He whined.
"There's no point, my answer will always be the same." He shrugged.
"You should at least try. You never know you might like it." He said optimistically.
"I don't want to." He told him.
"But you…"
"No!" He snapped, sick of Makoto trying to force him on other people. Why couldn't he see that he was all he needed?
Makoto looked down at his dinner sheepishly, not speaking again as they ate their meal. The room only filled with the sound of cutlery on the plate and the occasional crunch of food. He barely had time to finish his dinner before Haruka had swiped his plate and taken it into the kitchen.
With a frown, Haruka began washing up, angrily moving the plates to the drying rack that even he was surprised nothing was getting broken.
The pair of them very rarely fought but if they did it was always over the same thing. The inevitable moment when Makoto left him.
"I'm sorry Haru." Makoto said softly from the doorway.
"It's fine." He shrugged but the truth was it wasn't.
He was tired of having the same argument day in and day out, he was tired of knowing he could wake up one morning and find Makoto gone, he was tired of fighting the unavoidable when he should just be making the most of their time together.
"Haru, you have to realise I won't be around forever." He said, slowly making his way across the room to be by his side. "I am only a temporary fix, you need to let others in.
"Yeah I know." He nodded, draining the soapy water from the sink. "I know it's only temporary, but I can't help it that I only like Makoto."
"It's only because you don't try." He teased lightly.
"Too much effort." He shrugged.
Makoto stood behind Haruka, waiting for him to turn around, waiting for him to relax, but he stood rigid, hands tightly gripping the edges of the sink. With a sigh, Makoto moved Haruka around until he was pressed into his chest, arms tightly wound around him. He reached up and stroked Haruka's hair as the other boy hesitantly returned the embrace.
"I don't want you to leave me as well." Haruka murmured into his skin.
"I have to, I'm sorry." He whispered back, never releasing Haruka even as tears pricked the back of his eyes.
Makoto didn't want to leave Haruka either, he didn't want him to have to live alone again. He wanted to always be by his side, always be his support. But he knew that just couldn't be possible, as much as he wanted to stay there was always that pull. That reminder from above that he no longer belonged here, that he was living on borrowed time.
…
Haruka lay awake, watching Makoto sleeping a few centimetres away from him. After an emotionally draining day Makoto decided he would sleep tonight rather than lay awake.
They were so close but yet there was no mingling of breath, he could see Makoto breathing, the gentle rise and fall of his chest but he felt nothing. He slowly reached out and placed a hand over Makoto's pec, he didn't feel cold but he didn't feel warm. Although Haruka was touching him he still felt nothing, as if his hand were merely resting in the air.
"Why can't you be real?" Haruka whispered.
In his sleep Makoto moved, turning over so he was on his back, arm held out slightly in welcoming. With an embarrassed blush Haruka moved closer and rested his head on the others chest – in the morning he'd blame it on sleep induced movement but he was sure there was only so many times Makoto would believe that excuse.
As he lay there he heard nothing and Haruka hated it. No rush of blood, no gurgle of digestion, no snore of sleep, no beat of a heart. Absolute silence.
When he'd been younger the lack of a heartbeat used to excite him, he found it interesting but now it was just a constant reminder of the horrible truth. He shared his bed with a dead angel.
God, how he wished it weren't true, he'd give anything to have Makoto with him for all of time. He'd give his own life if it meant that he could keep Makoto. But that would never be an option, Makoto would return to the clouds and he would be alone again.
His swallows felt heavy as he tried to rid himself of the lump that was developing in his throat. He had nobody to blame but himself, he had got himself into this torturous situation. He'd known from the start it wasn't permanent and yet he had still let himself fall hopelessly in love with Makoto. His dead angel.
…