A/N: Sorry if the math confuses you lol I'll try and explain it as best I can. Its just how Spencer sees the world. She's a nerd shhh, she's in denial :P
Thanks for the reviews you guys are the best :)
Chapter 3
Differentiating is like a derivative, only more considerate. It also respects the change in y, too bad life doesn't.
Too bad I didn't.
"You seriously said that?" Aiden gives me his look. Ashley told Madison who just had to tell Aiden who just loves getting caught up in other peoples business so he can make himself part of it.
I shrugged my shoulders taking my calculus book out of my locker. "Look Aiden what happens between Ashley and I isn't your business." I close my locker hugging my book tightly to me. "Don't stick your nose where it's not wanted."
He throws his arms up in defence, he's always been quite the character. "Sorry." He says sarcastically. "But tip to the newbie, when you call a girl beautiful, don't take it back." He finishes slamming his locker and walking away.
Yes, he's a character and I'm an idiot.
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When lunch finally came Aiden was being bitchy. I wasn't going to apologize because he couldn't mind his own business. I wasn't going to apologise when I meant what I said. I looked over at Ashley. She didn't even look at me today, but Madison kept giving me death glares. I sighed.
I was going to apologize to Ashley, eventually, I just didn't want to sound stupid.
How do you even apologize for something like that?
"So this isn't the most silent lunch we've ever had." Kyla lets out sarcastically lobbing her lunch into the trash can five feet away. "Damn I should be on the basketball team."
I laughed, I couldn't help it. She was so carefree. "Yeah well you can thank Spencer for that one." Aiden spits out taking another bite of his sandwich looking away from the table.
"Aiden you're a drama queen." Kyla states, bored.
"Wow is it be rude to Aiden day?" I know they're getting into an argument because Aiden's mad at me, but I really don't care if Aiden's mad. Get over it, I am.
"Chill Aiden, I'm on the other side of the bridge, join me." I say finally after a couple of minutes of hearing them bicker.
"Whatever." With that he gets up and leaves.
"He'll get over it, he just likes the attention." Kyla reassures me, not that I really care. I know Aiden likes the attention. That's why I try and be as painfully obvious with him as I possibly can.
He's just not as carefree as I am.
I look at Ashley again who is actually staring back at me. I half expect her to turn away but to my surprise she holds my gaze. I turn away first.
Or maybe he's just more caring then I am.
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We usually sat together in English class, I wasn't surprised to see that was going to be different today when I walked in. It was probably for the better, we usually spent English class debating. Ashley tends to draw attention to herself during a debate.
I would have taken the extra attention though, if it meant her sitting next to me. Sometimes, I really hate derivatives. This is definitely one of those times.
I took a seat in the back corner, English was a good class to think in, a good class to do homework for your other classes. I took out my calculus book. It was definitely a good class to think in. Yesterday almost seemed like a dream, why would I take back what I said? She made it clear how she felt about me, I never showed how I felt about her. Sure we flirted, but I had never given her the affection she deserved from me.
It wasn't that I didn't want to show her affection, I fight it off every time I look at her, my throat burns every time I'm around her, my body is uncomfortable unless its holding her in some way. I just don't know how to show her it... I just don't know.
There's no rule for this.
I put my head down on my desk and sighed. I hate how the heart works, with no boundaries, no concept, no... anything. "Well Spencer, you seem to be frustrated, do you not agree with Miss Davies?" My English teacher asked.
I had no idea what he was talking about, I looked over t Ashley and she was looking at me. My cheeks burned. "Um, no I agree uh... with her."
He crossed his arms interested in what I had to say. "Please go on."
I looked at Ashley, what the hell had they been discussing. "Save it Mr. Ford she's not going to tell you how she feels about the subject." Ashley said bitterly. My cheeks burned more but not from embarrassment. "She doesn't know what she feels."
My ears were hot and my head was swarming, I had never felt this way before. "Well she seemed frustrated about something, please Spencer your opinion would be greatly appreciated. " Mr. Ford pressed on, he was so damn encouraging, but sometimes I wish he just gave up.
"You're not going to get anything out of her." Ashley started again. "And even if you do, she'll probably just take it back."
My nostrils flared. Was she seriously calling me out in front of anyone? Couldn't she see it was an accident? Everyone's eyes were on me, I could feel them picking at me like needles. I looked down. "Maybe I'm not ready."
"What was that Spencer?" Mr. Ford asked, excited I was finally giving my opinion on a topic in class.
I looked around the class, they looked at me expectantly. "Maybe." I cleared my throat, looking directly in Ashley's eyes. "Maybe, I'm not ready."
Ashley looked down. "Okay, well will come back to you Spencer." Mr. Ford said giving me an encouraging smile, clapping his hands together.
I felt sick, my ears were still burning, my heart was pounding my jaw was clenched. I had never felt this way before. My eyes stung. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, I was crying. For the first time since I was a little girl I was crying.
I picked up my bag and ran out the door, leaving my calculus book behind.
I wasn't ready.
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A/N: Ahh Spencer's little epiphany. It's okay Spashley will be soon :P. Ashley might have an epiphany of her own.
or not hehehe
Read and review it makes me happy. You wouldn't want to make me unhappy, would you? haha I just like your opinions :)
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I really love Aiden, he's just funny when he's the drama queen.