A/N: Well, I have gotten a lot of reviews from all the awesome peeps out there. All those who want to be as awesome as them, review and your wish shall be granted! That's right, I am the Fairy Godmother, also known as Airhead, and Bringer of All Things Sardonic and Sarcastic (I'm good at both). I can grant wishes with a flick of my magic pretzel stick! (I couldn't find a wand, okay? And if I get hungry I don't have to worry. )
Well, as StrongerThanISeem put it, the fact that Rachel playing poker is hilarious, and I totally agree. You'll see how she does it in this chapter, and I will also be graphically describing the looks on the faces of the guys who's asses she's kicking, hear me laugh evilly, muahahahahahaha--cough, gag, choke uh…heheh, I'm still working on it J.
Hmm, I want M&M's…REVIEW!!
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Rachel
These guys were total wimps.
I let them have a few wins at first, just to boost their confidence and make them bet higher. There were three of them, which against us was really nothing but they thought they had it in the bag. One guy was a total skinhead with a serious look about him, he never said a word but gestured a lot. The other two had a full head of hair, one blond and the other brown-haired and slightly thinning but still pretty thick. The brunette reminded me of a walrus with a mustache, the blonde one an actor. Maybe if he wasn't mad at me for kicking his ass the way I was sure I was going to he would want to go out sometime. Even still, I dubbed them Mo, Larry, and Curly. I pondered happily as I carefully organized my cards.
Then it was my turn to deal.
I took the cards and I shuffled them as casually as I could. As soon as I knew that they didn't suspect anything, I took the cards and shuffled them again, watching them, memorizing each card as it flew face-down. I grinned, if I played right, I could win everything. If I stalled, I could make them bet even more. It would all be ours.
Anya looked sideways at me. I sent her a look that said, "Act like an airhead, be yourself!" She pouted.
I dealt the cards in a complicated way, picking "random" cards out of the pile and giving them to someone. I gave all of our opponents the crappy cards, with an occasional king or queen to keep them stupid. It worked. But I could tell that Anya was totally lost. I sighed, and put on my best Anya-face.
"Um…mister? Could we please help each other? I mean, we've never played before and…" I let myself trail off. He got the message.
"Fine, but if I see anything suspicious, I'm taking all of it." He said, waving his hand and examining his hand, frowning.
I smiled and told Anya to lay low in a voice that couldn't possibly be heard by Mo, Larry, and Curly. To keep up the pretense I pointed to the cards, and in a little bit louder voice, I told her that the five came first, then the ace, then the jack, and then the seven. The brunette snorted and tried to conceal a snigger.
Then, I gave up a nine and an eight to draw from the deck. Anya shot me a weird look. The blonde raised an eyebrow. "You sure you want to do that?" he asked. I gave him a smart look and called him a bitch and reached for the deck again and drew two more cards.
We all put in our cards, the skinhead produced two queens, two fives and an eight, the brunette folded, and the blonde had three jacks, a king, and a queen. Just like I wanted him to. Anya had an nine, two sevens, a three, and a queen. I tried to look unsure of myself. The brunette told me to fold if I wanted to. The blonde sniggered, confident that he had won.
Then I smirked so wide I thought my lips would split. I lay down a straight flush: an ace, a king, a queen, a jack, and a ten. All three of them looked like grapefruit catchers, their mouths were open so wide. Their eyes were nearly out of their sockets they were bulging so much. The wrinkles around the brunette's mouth deepened and he turned pale. The blonde did just the opposite, he turned scarlet. I smirked and took my large handbag and put the 300, the Rolex watch, and the gold chain in it, along with the 200 and the opal ring we had won on the other gambling devices. I was totally keeping the ring.
Me and Anya walked outside, she was staring with awe at me. "I still don't get how you could trade a straight flush for an even BETTER straight flush." I shrugged.
"Wait!" a voice shouted, a painfully familiar voice. It was the guy from the other night. Gar. I winced and shut my eyes, willing him to go away.
"Hey," he said, walking up to me. Damn.
"What do you want? Why are you following me?" I asked. "Do you want me to hurt you so bad you'll think you've never felt pain before?" I put my hand on my hips.
"N-n-no! I just wanted to get to know you a little bit. I mean, you just remind me of this really cool girl that I used to know." He said, throwing his hands up.
I had to stop myself and tell myself to breathe and not let him in on anything. He thought I was cool, both back then and now.
"Yeah," I said. "Well, you'll just have to deal with that. I'm not interested!" I said and attempted to walk away. Key word: attempted.
Then the blonde, the brunette and the skinhead walked out, looking defeated.
"Whoa! You did that?" he asked, amazed.
I turned my head ever so slightly, "Girl kicks ass. Says so on the T-shirt."
The blonde spotted me and glared. "That match wasn't fair, you cheated!" he shouted, pointing at me.
"Life isn't fair! Anyone who says otherwise wants something from you." I dished back.
"Whoa! You have a wicked sense of humor!" the boy next to me said.
"Unless you want me to use it on you I would shut up and get a life…and this time try not to scare it away." I said. I was on a roll. Cha-ching!!
"Hey, I just want to talk." He said, and grabbed my hand. I felt my heart do a little back flip in my chest, when will it learn that there's not enough room in there for gymnastics?
I recovered that instant and rolled my eyes, "Fine," I squeaked out, my voice betraying me.
He led me outside and let go of me. We strolled down the sidewalk.
"So, why did you bring me here?" I asked.
"Cause, you remind me of someone I used to know." He said.
"Yeah, I got the message," I huffed, holding my head up high.
He laughed, to my surprise. Usually when I burn a guy, he stays burned. "You even have the same sense of humor as her!" He laughed some more.
"Look, I don't have time for this," I said, and started to walk away, but he caught my arm and held me back, his face drawn back to all-seriousness. I tilted my head in a "Bring it on!" kind of way and stood there, waiting for him to make a move.
"Just, let me get to know you. Please?" He asked, his eyes begging.
"Fine! Just let go of me!" I yanked my arm out of his hand, fuming. I couldn't believe what I had just said, but those eyes…
He smiled brightly, turning his back to me and starting to walk on he talked about how we could "hang", as if.
"Great! Hey, how about tomorrow night you and me go to a restaurant or something, I would love for you to meet my friends, you know the people you saw the other night with…me…" He had turned back around to face me.
But I was long gone by then.
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A/N: OMINOUS MUSIC!! Dramatic departure! Classic mystery girl! Ah, the…classicness. Hm.
Well, I heart all my awesome reviewers, and I decided to finally, FINALLY update. I mean, I just kind of forgot about it there for a while. Then I was looking something up in the search box and when I clicked "Enter" my story was the first one there. Yay my story!!
Yeah, sorry, I'm not sure about the rules of poker cause my brother usually helps me. But the point is: Rachel won! Woohoo!
OMG! I am SO in the mood for Swedish Fish right now. But I already had an apple, so that kind of filled me up. Did you know if you eat slower, you get full faster? I found that very intriguing (I'm working on using harder words, you know, EXPAND my vocabulary. Teehee!)
Well, I'm looking for ideas, funny comebacks, pick-up lines, whatever to put in the story. I want to make it as much as a humor as possible. Maybe a dark humor, but what the heck right?
So, yeah, feel free to review or PM me or email me if you have any ideas.
Until next time!
Pip pip, cheerio, tata, PEACE OUT!!
Revi