J POV
I must have passed out again, I think as I come around in a dark room. I realise that I'm comfortable for the first time in what feels like forever. I feel around with my hand and feel a mattress beneath me, a thin one, but it's a mattress. I open my eyes and for the second time I look up to a strange material. I am looking up at the bottom of a bed; I must be in a bunk bed. I lie still as I hear whispered voices outside the room.
"Hershel said she just passed out," a woman's voice says. I slow my breathing so I can hear what's being said.
"Yeah, apparently so. I heard the screamin' an' I found her passed out on the floor while Hershel was wrappin' her up," says a voice that must be Daryl, he has a very distinctive voice.
"What are we doing with her?" the same woman asks.
"I dunno. Rick said she wants' to go back," Daryl says.
"Back to what? Was she not hauled up in a swarming town?" another voice says.
"Yup, but she was pretty well hidden. There was walkers in 'er house and they didn' even know she was there," Daryl says and they fall silent.
"So what then, she is going to stay here? We are barely able to feed ourselves," the woman says louder than before.
There is silence and I hear someone walking away. I listen for any signs of movement and I jump when Daryl appears at the doorway. He was so silent. I stare at him through half closed eyes.
"You thirsty?" he asks as he enters the room and waits by the door. I stay still and try and pretend to still be asleep. "I know you're awake. Your breathin's changed." He says sounding slightly amused.
I open my eyes and look over to the door and see him standing there with a cup in his hand. I glance at the crossbow on his shoulder nut he ignores my nervous stare and moves further into the room.
"Hershel says when ya wake up to make sure ya drink," he says as he squats down by my bed his knees cracking loudly. I move away a little. He ignores my nervous movements and holds out the water. I stare at it with a little frown.
"S'not poison," he says sounding a little exasperated. I take it from him and down it quickly my thirst getting the better of me. I gasp as I finish the cup and wipe my mouth. Apart from the water tasting a little stale and warm it tastes amazing. Stale water I can handle and I learned quickly that nothing is cool round here.
"Thank you," I say with, what I hope is a grateful smile; he takes the cup from me without a word and stands up.
"Just followin' orders," he says as he takes a seat outside of my cell and slides the cell door closed locking me in.
"Well thank you anyway," I say to the back of his head. He just nods and picks up a quiver filled with arrows and begins to clean the blood off them.
I lie back down and watch him as he wipes each of the arrows thoroughly and inspects each of them. His head snaps up and he looks down the hall.
"Is she up?" a familiar voice asks. I sit up again and pull my legs up to my chest ignoring my protesting arm.
"She is," Daryl says looking back into the cell. His eyes meet mine briefly before he turns away again.
"She drink the water?" asks the voice again and as its owner rounds the corner. I relax a little when I see Hershel; he peers into the cell and smiles at me.
"You hungry Jess?" he asks with a knowing smile. I nod once and feel my muscles relax as he opens the cell door. He twitches his head to the side with a smile.
"Well come on then." He says and I uncurl my limbs and scoot out of the bed. I notice I have been changed and I look out to the men standing there and my face flames.
"My clothes!" I say my voice tight with fear.
"Are being washed, your top is ruined but we found you some spare clothes," Hershel says. I stare at him in horror and his eyes widen. "Oh no we got the girls to change you, we're not monsters Jess." He says and I look at the floor feeling bad. "Come on or the food will get cold."
"Cold? You... you have hot food?" I ask excitedly rushing after him and walking past Daryl whose eyes narrow at me. Hershel laughs a little.
"Of course," he says then right on cue I smell it drift towards me. We enter the food hall and I see a table full of people in the room all eating out of metal canisters. They all look up at me and my hunger ebbs away as I look around the room. Every pair of eyes is on me and I swallow hard.
"Sit." Daryl says from behind me. He shoves me towards the table slightly. As I sit down my arm throbs painfully.
"Here let me tie your arm up," Hershel says as he sits next to me. He pulls out a piece of worn bandage and slides it under my arm and around my neck making a sling, a terrible sling but it'll do.
Rick sits across from me and hands me a canister full of steaming rice and some kind of stew. I look up at Rick with a real honest to god smile and he hands me a spoon with a happy look in his eyes. I take it from him and gracelessly dig into the dinner. I know everyone is watching me as I eat but I don't care I cannot remember the last time I had a hot dinner and this is just delicious.
"She's got bout as much manners as you Daryl," the brunette, Maggie says from the other end of the table. I feel myself blush but I ignore it, too engrossed in my food to care what anyone thinks of me.
I burn my mouth a little, I lift my head form the canister and Rick hands me a cup of water as if he read my mind.
"Good?" he asks with a little smile. I nod and accept the water gratefully drinking it in one.
"So how long had you been in that house?" Hershel asks suddenly. I look over at him and lower my spoon. I know I shouldn't speak to him, the others are all listening. I'm still not sure if I trust them but they have fed me fixed me up and let me in despite not knowing a thing about me. Also it is near impossible to not answer the man, he has the kindest face.
"About a month," I say eventually. He nods and he looks to Rick who is still looking at me like he is trying to work me out. I look around the room and I see that the others are doing the exact same.
"So you have been alone the whole time?" Maggie asks, I shake my head and drop my eyes to my left over food.
"No I was with another group but err..." I take a breath before looking up at her, "things happened," I say. I hear a rumble of voices and play with the remaining food in my canister.
"So how long have you been here before the shit hit the fan?" Glen asks. I look up at him and sigh.
"Three weeks. I shouldn't have even been here," I say sadness clear in my voice. He stares at me willing me to go on. I push the food away from in front of me and sigh.
"I was supposed to be starting school back home but I decided to have some fun before I started school. It was a last minute trip," I laugh darkly and look around. "Didn't go quite to plan." I say and this raises a few smiles.
"How many walkers have you killed?" Rick asks his voice serious and his stare intense. I keep my eyes on him as he waits for an answer. Is he serous? How am I supposed to know the answer to that?
"Are you serous?" I ask but the look he gives me shows he is deadly serious.
"I don't know. I lost count. I try to avoid them when I can," I say hoping the answer is sufficient. His face gives nothing away as he nods.
"How many people have you killed?" he asks and I feel my eyes widen. There is movement from the corner of the room and my eyes fly towards it. Daryl who was sitting on one of the benches his back against the wall is now sitting forward looking at me intently.
"One," I say in a small voice as I look away from his steely gaze. Rick nods again and I look into his eyes. They look so intense and I barely hear the next question as it leaves him mouth.
"Why?" he asks. I swallow hard feeling sick and a little bit shaky.
"S-she begged me to..." I stutter remembering the grieving woman who lay over the ruined body of her son. She held onto his small body as she bled from the bite to her neck. She looked up at me her brown eyes full of tears and defeat.
"Please Jess," she begged pushing the small gun into my shaking hand. "You have to do it, I can't. Please I want to be with my boy," she sobbed as she ran her fingers through her son's bloody hair. I stood there trembling as I watched her cry over the boy. Little Jamie, I couldn't save him, I didn't get to him on time, I failed him.
"I c-can't," I stuttered. She looked up at me and I could see her face was already paler and that her wound was changing colour.
"Please, I am changing I can feel it. Don't leave me to turn into one of them, please," she sobbed. Before I even knew what I was doing I was aiming at her head and she smiled at me. "Thank you," she said as I pulled the trigger. I instantly dropped the gun onto the ground and backed away from the horror. I just killed her. I backed away and stared at their bodies until I walked into the wide fence. I jumped when I felt a scratching on my jacket and heard a growl behind me. I spun around to face the dead behind me and in anger slammed my knife into its head. Its eyes widened slightly as I pulled it back out but then it fell to the floor.
I ran then. Ran away from that careless group, away from what I had just done, away from the sadness. I didn't stop again until I reached the small town and found a little room above the pharmacy.
"She has answered your questions, so what now?" Carol asks making me focus back on the room. I look over at her at her place between the young blonde and Carl.
"What do you mean?" Rick asks with a frown.
"Well is she staying?" she asks with a shrug. Rick turns to me and I look at him.
"Do you want to stay?" he asks. I look down at my arm knowing I would ne next to useless out there like this.
"Well I... my arm..."
"She can stay until she is better. Then we will decide," Hershel says with a tone of finality. Rick smiles at him and nods.
"Doctors orders," Rick says giving me a smile. He pushes the food back at me. "Eat up, you are going to need your strength.
"Thank you," I say picking up my spoon. Rick nods. "I can go when I am better. I don't want to step on any toes," I say looking around the unhappy looking room he frowns a little but just shrugs.
"We will cross that bridge when we get to it," he says. I nod before I finish off my food.
I will decide what I want to do once I feel a bit better.
I look around the group as they start talking amongst them selves. They all seem ok but I don't know if I can be part of a group again, it was too much last time. You get attached to people and then they die. I don't know if I can do that again. I listen as everyone chats around me. I work out they do shifts for keeping a look out and that the women and the young girl, Beth, tend to deal with the food and washing while the men do maintenance where it is needed.
How medieval, I scoff to myself.
I start to feel drowsy and my head starts to feel heavy. I feel a hand at my back as I sway on my seat and someone chuckles. I turn and look into the blue eyes of Daryl.
When the hell did he move from the other end of the room?
"You tired?" he asks sounding gruff but concerned at the same time. I stiffen my back to try and keep upright but I just feel myself begin to shake. He shakes his head looking exasperated and I begin to wonder if that is how his face always is.
"Come on I'll take ya to yer cell," he says. The whole room seems to have fallen silent. I look around as I get shakily to my feet but they aren't looking at me but at Daryl. He waits for me at the door his arms folded tightly and a scowl set on his face. When I turn back to the group everyone but Rick and Hershel has gone about their own business again.
"Thank you for the food and for the arm." I say and Rick and Hershel nod.
"It's ok Jess just go and rest," Rick says. I give him a little smile and walk towards Daryl who steps aside for me to get through the door. I walk back to my cell on shaky legs and sit down on the bed.
"I'll be right outside," Daryl says as he slides my cell door closed and I nod.
"I had absolutely no intention of trying to escape. This is a prison after all," I say lying down. I see him smile as he sits down and I frown at him.
"Sure is," he says as he settles into his chair. I stare up at the top bunk and try to get my arm comfortable. After a few hours of tossing and turning I eventually fall asleep.
"Hey girl! Wake up!"
I open my eyes and meet a pair of wide, worried blue ones. I fell my stomach clench and I gag.
"I am gonna be sick!" I say in a rush .I lean over the bed and throw up on the floor. Daryl backs away as the splatter hits his shoes.
"Hershel!" Daryl shouts as a fresh wave of heaves take over my body. I am shaking violently and I feel so cold. I fell a warm hand rub at my back as I dry heave having spilled the first hot meal I have had in weeks on to the floor. There is a rush of footsteps and many feet turn up in front of my cell.
"What is going on?" Rick asks coming into the room avoiding my vomit, I see crutches move into my peripheral and cannot help the relieved laugh that passed my lips.
"She was shakin' an' then she started breathin' funny. I thought she was turnin'. So I tried wakin' her then the just blew chunks," Daryl explains as I am rolled onto my back. Hershel looks down at me and put his hand on my head. I wince at his freezing fingers on my hot clammy head.
"Damn it, she is burning up. She must have a fever." Hershel says and I black out.
I feel like hell.
My arm is throbbing and I feel so cold despite the many blankets I have been given. It has been days since I last ate and anything they give me comes back up.
I have fought them off the last few times they have tried to force water into my mouth as I know I wasting it. Hershel has tried to calm me but I cannot think straight and I refuse anything else.
"I don't want to be sick again!" I protest as Hershel tries for the twentieth time to give me water.
"Jess you'll get worse if ya do not drink," he says kindly but I just shake my head and turn it away. He lets out an exasperated sigh and leans back on his chair looking beat. The hours pass with me sleeping then being woken by Hershel pressing cool cloths on my fore head.
"She needs drugs." He says through my foggy head. I look up at him and I see the worry on his face.
"We don't have any dad," Maggie says looking at him. I stare between them trying to focus on what is going on.
"You should have left me," I say groggily. They look down at me concern on both of their faces. "I am dying anyway." I say as the darkness takes me again.
"… She is not one of us!"
"We can't just let her die!"
"Why not? She said it herself we should have just left her."
"I can't have that. I ain't havin' another person die under my watch."
"Hershel we can't risk peoples life on a run like this."
"I ain't suggestin' that."
"What do you suggest then?"
There is a pause and I feel a cool cloth being pressed to my head.
"I'll go."
"Daryl, you can't…"
"I can do as I damn well please. I'll be back as soon as I can. An if she you know… then least we'll have somethin' if anyone else gets sick."
"I will come with you."
"I'm quicker on ma own. I'll see if I can get some things for lil' asskicker as well."
"Be careful ok, we need you back."