Chapter Two
Ed stood at the window, his hunched reflection glaring back at him. It was pouring outside, making the bright room reflect back at him more than showing the sheets of rain pounding the dark street in front of the hotel. He hadn't ventured out of his room much after his run-in with Hawkeye - the random meeting making him more cautious about any other possible random meetings that might happen if he just wandered around.
He was surprised the bastard hadn't barged in his room like he owned the damn place yet. Either Hawkeye hadn't told him about seeing him, which was really unlikely, or she'd threatened to shoot him if he searched Ed out, which was much more likely. He wasn't sure how much longer Mustang's patience would hold out if the latter was the case though. He needed to get his shit together, figure out how exactly he was going to explain this mess...
With a sigh he left the window and clicked off the lights, the glare was giving him a headache. He dragged a chair back with him and resumed his place, viewing the world like an outsider. The lights of Central begged him to come out and see what had changed since he'd been gone, even in the pouring rain, but there he sat for another night, worry and dread gluing him to the room. He rubbed roughly at his face, fingers pressing against burning lids hard enough to make spots dance across his vision when he stopped.
That was why he didn't see the familiar black military car until after it was sitting idle in front of entrance to his hotel.
He stood so quickly that the chair fell backwards, bouncing against the bed softly before clattering to the floor. Was it Hawkeye? Or Mustang? Or someone else? He hadn't told her where he was staying but that didn't mean it was exactly a secret - it would be ridiculously simple for someone that really wanted to find him to do so. Damn it, he should've been more careful! Covered his tracks better!
He had to get out.
The bag by the foot of the bed was packed and ready to go at a moment's notice - all he had to do was snatch it off the floor on the way to the door. He knew as soon as he gripped the handle that he was too late, though. Some sixth sense telling him what was already waiting on the other side of the door, but still he couldn't stop himself from pulling it open.
Dark, inscrutable eyes stared into his own, glittering slightly in the harsh lights of the hallway.
"Going somewhere, Fullmetal?"
Brows twitched down as he studied him. Edward's breath, which had caught in his chest, hitched with an attempt to release it as panic gripped him.
He was wearing his gloves.
Ed took a shaky step back, his eyes darting to the window. He was on the third floor – it wouldn't be pretty or painless landing, but he'd survive. He'd have to send some money back for the broken window though…
"Edward."
He flinched, he couldn't help it. His eyes darted back to Mustang as he took another step back from the door.
Mustang didn't move from the hall though – made no attempt to come in the open door. It made Ed feel a tiny bit better, but he couldn't back away any more or he wouldn't be able to get up enough momentum to break through the glass.
"I'll go."
The words shocked Ed away from the window that he hadn't even realized he was eyeing again. Mustang had actually backed up so he was further out in the hall and his gloved hands were stuffed in his pockets. Ed felt himself breathe a little easier without those arrays staring at him.
"Hawkeye told me you wouldn't appreciate me showing up, but after three days I was wondering if you were even still here. She'll probably shoot me when she finds out I came…"
The last part was mumbled and Ed felt another knot tension loosen some.
"I was on my way to dinner and just wanted to see if you'd care to come along. My mistake. Come see me when you're ready."
Shocked at the turn of events, Ed watched with his mouth hanging open while Mustang left his sight and disappeared down the hall. Having his personal space restored and the option of freedom offered cleared Ed's head some as he moved into the hall to see Mustang reaching the stairs.
"W-wait!"
He bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood and was half relieved and half horrified to see the other man stop on the top stair and tilt his head back in his direction. Mustang didn't say anything though, just waited.
When had the bastard gotten so patient and fucking reasonable?
And when did I turn into such a cowardly fucker? Seeing him is the whole reason I came here…
"Dinner would be okay, I guess," he forced out, straightening out his shoulders but not feeling hungry in the least.
Mustang glanced back at him and gave a nod. "I'll be in the car. Come down when you're ready."
He started down the stairs again and even though it would invite more curiosity and questions than he was quite ready to face, Ed forced himself to call out again.
"Mustang!" Seeing him pause again, he swallowed hard and continued. "Can you- Can you not wear the gloves?"
That caught him off guard, Ed could see, and he turned from a few steps down to look at him fully. Even though he was a good thirty feet away, Ed could read the question and suspicion on his face.
Just fucking say it! He growled to himself. You can't go anywhere with him without warning him!
"No alchemy. You can't- Promise me, Bastard. No alchemy."
Mustang stared at him so long Ed thought he might just come back up the stairs and force him to tell him what was going on right then. His eyes darted through the open door to his room at the window again.
"Fine."
Mustang's voice snapped his attention back and Ed watched as the man deliberately pulled each glove off, finger by finger, and tucked them in his coat pocket.
"I'll leave them in the car when we get to the restaurant," he said, starting back down the stairs. "I'm hungry, so don't take too long, Fullmetal."
The irritation the last bit was delivered in made Ed actually quirk a smile as he felt a little of the regathered tension disperse. He went back into the room and shut the door softly behind him before collapsing against it and sliding to the floor. He felt exhausted. How would he ever be able to explain any of this? He honestly wasn't sure that he could. But, if he couldn't, then at least he'd get to have dinner with Mustang before the end.
Rain drummed against the windshield as Roy stared straight through it without really seeing anything. He was actually glad Edward was taking a few minutes – he needed a few minutes himself…
This… wasn't what he'd been expecting.
At all.
Fullmetal had been ready to jump through the goddamned window!
Roy still couldn't quite believe that, but knew that's exactly what he'd witnessed. Edward had seriously been contemplating jumping through a glass window just to get away from him.
What the hell had he gotten himself into?
He'd heard Riza's warning that Ed was skittish, but not… not like this. He honestly looked like he was expecting to get attacked any second. And he'd noted that she thought he was thin (that's why he'd chosen dinner when his patience had finally worn out), but he was more than just thin. He looked… broken.
Edward had definitely grown in the many years it'd been since they'd seen each other – he looked like he'd be just short of Roy's own height when (or if) he ever got close enough to really compare. The childish features that had been just starting to turn into adulthood the last time he'd seen him had sharpened to pleasant lean angles. He'd be a stunning man if he weren't so damned thin and didn't look like he hadn't seen sleep in a year.
Did it have something to do with the bounty hunting? It was a dangerous job, but Ed was a dangerous kid, so it wasn't a stretch to imagine him as being an even more dangerous adult – even without his alchemy. And what was with the sudden alchemy phobia? Was it all alchemy? Just flame alchemy? Some fire trauma?
Roy took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting his forehead rest on the steering wheel for a moment in the privacy of the car and the sheets of rain. What if he didn't show up? What if he'd slipped out the back? What if he wouldn't tell Roy what was wrong? And, worst of all, what if it was something Roy couldn't help with?
Opening his eyes, he straightened in his seat. If he ran, he'd find him. If he wouldn't talk, he'd make him. And if he couldn't help… He'd help anyway.
The door opened and the lithe, damp figure of Edward slid into the car beside him. Still drawn up with so much tension Roy was surprised he could move, but he seemed to have fortified himself. His gaze was steady when he looked over at Roy, not darting around nervously, and he wasn't shrinking away from the proximity. He gave Roy a nod as if to confirm that he was good now, that he wouldn't dive out of the moving car or anything so drastic to make an escape. Roy gave a nod back and pulled away from the curb.
The silence in the car was heavy, but Roy found himself in the rare situation of being unsure what to say, or if he should say anything at all. He'd had this all laid out before he'd arrived – been so confident in his plan to find out what was going on with Edward – but all that had flown out the window when he actually saw him. He needed to regroup, come up with a new strategy…
"What's it like?" Edward's voice surprised him, barely audible over the engine and rain. "You finally got everything you wanted just to give it away. How's that feel?"
"Playing the psychologist, Fullmetal?" He asked with a smirk, only to see that Edward was looking away from him out the passenger side window. "It was always supposed to be like this. Short and sweet."
The S-word didn't get so much of a twitch out of him, much to Roy's disappointment.
"It's all you worked toward for so long, though. What happens next?"
It was a thought that kept Roy up at night, actually. Not that he'd admit that to Fullmetal.
"There will always be a military to run, even if the country has been handed over to the people instead of having one person in charge."
Edward gave him a look that told him he saw through that line of bullshit too well.
"Is that why you left Risembool? Looking for what was 'next'?"
Edward gave a bitter laugh as they stopped in front of the restaurant. Before he could answer, if he intended to at all, the valet opened the door.
"Good evening, sir. We're very glad you could join us."
When another valet opened Edward's door he flinched further into the depths of the car, arm brushing Roy's, which made him jerk forward then just lock down. Stiff and still, Roy was certain he'd even stopped breathing.
Roy wasn't sure if it was going to make things worse or better, but he reached over in front of Edward and opened the glove compartment before pulling his gloves from his coat pocket and setting them inside. The compartment closed with a click.
"No alchemy tonight, I promise," he said lowly so the patiently waiting valets couldn't overhear. "There's no one in this restaurant but staff. They don't open until next week but offered me a preview. It's safe here."
Roy wasn't sure if the last bit should've been said or not, but it came out on its own as he looked into Edward's overly wide gold eyes. It seemed he chose correctly though, because Edward looked away and after a second slid out of the car under the waiting umbrella.
Or maybe he just wanted to get away from Roy. Either way it got him out of the car, so he supposed he could count that as a win.
The inside was just as empty as Roy had promised. A chatty manager met them at the door and took their coats, telling him how glad he was Roy had decided to take them up on the offer. He was a little worried when they sat and it turned out the chatty manager was also going to be serving them – he'd never get any information from Edward with the man buzzing around them – but after giving them their menus and some recommendations he flitted off out of sight leaving them in the large empty dining room by themselves with only some light music and the distant sounds of the kitchen.
"Pretty fancy, bastard. Surprised you didn't save this outing for one of your dates," Edward said, previous edginess tucked away as he looked around in interest.
Most would say that with self-consciousness in Edward's shoes – his dark shirt and pants weren't dirty or ragged, but were obviously well used and not exactly the attire for a place like this – but Edward didn't seem to care. That actually made Roy feel a little more at ease, seeing some of that confidence he'd always associated with the other make an appearance. An odd juxtaposition to his new behavior to be sure…
"Women like to be seen," Roy shrugged, pursuing his menu. "Seen in their new dress or new hair style; seen in the newest restaurant-"
"Seen with the new Fuhrer," Edward threw in.
"That, too," Roy agreed easily.
"Sounds like you're picking the wrong women."
"Well, I picked one that was right and that still didn't work, so might as well go for the wrong ones now."
He didn't mean that to come out as bitter as it did and kept his eyes on the menu instead of Fullmetal.
"Sorry about that," Edward said and Roy was unsure if he meant bringing up the topic or about Riza. "I guess I kind of always figured the two of you would end up with some kind of 'happily ever after'."
"Somehow I think we did, too," Roy sighed, not sure why he was offering so much up but feeling it was right anyway. "It was like working on puzzle where it takes a long time to fit the pieces together, but they click together so perfectly when you do. Then you finally finish only to realize there are still parts missing and the picture won't ever be whole."
"Or it was whole but just not the picture you thought you wanted…"
Edward's soft voice was filled with so much gravity that Roy finally looked up at him, only to find that he'd taken a page from Roy's book and had ducked behind the menu.
"Never took you for the puzzle type," Edward said after a few beats of uncomfortable silence.
"I prefer chess," he admitted, eagerly moving on to a new topic. "But I try to get to the veterans' home once a week and puzzles are much easier than strategy at their age."
"What do they think of all this democracy stuff?"
"They hate it," he said, giving Ed a smile over the top of his menu. "But I think the best part of their week is telling me that and letting me know how huge of an idiot I am."
Ed barked out a surprised laugh, much to Roy's pleasure.
"Good for them," Ed chuckled. "Someone needs to keep your ass humble."
"That was your job," he smirked back, before he realized what he'd said.
It not only brought up Edward's absence over the years but they'd also seen a little too much together for that to come off as lighthearted as he'd meant it. Both their smiles melted away. Luckily the manager chose that moment to return for their orders, gratefully interrupting the pensive silence.
After ordering they both sat back and studied each other without the crutch of the menus. In the softer lighting of the restaurant Edward didn't look as hollowed out as he had under the unforgiving lights in the hotel. But while the new lighting offered less emphasis on his lack of weight and sleep, it seemed to make other things stand out more without that distraction. The longer length of his ponytail was noted along with the width of his shoulders, but mostly what jumped out at Roy were the new scars.
It was obvious that Edward traveled a lot in the sun, his skin a warm tan that complemented his hair and eyes nicely. But it also made the slightly paler scars stand out more. One arced up from his brow bone and disappeared under his hair, the beginning of it dangerously close to his eye. Another followed the line of his jaw bone and another peeked up through the collar of his shirt following the line of his throat.
"Looks like you haven't aged a day, bastard," Edward said, obviously giving Roy the same scrutiny he was receiving. "You sure you didn't make some kind of deal with the devil?"
The words were joking and Roy appreciated the compliment, but the phrasing made both of them cringe.
"You've aged enough for both of us," he answered.
Edward gave a dry chuckle. "Yeah, I suppose I have."
"Alphonse sounds like he's doing well," he said, bring up a topic that was usually the key to getting Edward to relax a little.
He wasn't disappointed – a soft smile replaced Edward's cynical one and he leaned back in his chair.
"Yeah, I think he is. Fixing houses and farm equipment, delivering baby goats, teaching alchemy to some local brats… All kinds of random small town crap, but he seems to love it."
"Doesn't sound so bad," Roy said with a soft smile as he imagined it.
"Maybe for about five minutes," Ed snorted. "Fixing plows and explaining alchemical theory to eight year olds for the rest of my life sounds like a level in hell."
Roy couldn't help but laugh. "I suppose I can understand that. What about Miss Rockbell? I thought you'd walk through the fires of hell for her, so fixing some farm equipment and delivering baby animals seems like you'd get off pretty easy."
The smile Ed gave him was sad and made him wish he'd kept his mouth shut despite his curiosity.
"Well, you said it best, bastard. You get all the pieces together and somehow something is still missing," he shrugged. "Maybe we're both too quick to temper for it to ever have worked anyway. Al seems to balance her more."
Roy's brows shot up in surprise. "Al and Miss Rockbell? They're…"
"Yep," he nodded, leaning back further in his chair and looking at the ceiling. "He was so nervous telling me. Took him forever to get it out – I had to yell at him because my cens were low and the connection was going to cut off. Like I wouldn't be happy for them…"
While his smile was genuine, Roy could see sadness in it, too. Time for a subject change. Again. They were going to run out of things to talk about before the food even got there the way they kept having to dodge conversational landmines…
"Alphonse told me you were doing a lot of theoretical work?" He said, testing if alchemy would be safe or be the worst topic they could approach.
Ed's sad smile didn't budge as he shrugged. "Well, when theory is all you can work with you get pretty good at it."
Roy knew that was an understatement – and a rather large one at that. Alphonse had told him that the things his brother had started coming up with were beyond amazing, that Al had even had a hard time following along the more he'd worked, until finally, right before he'd left Risembool, Edward's work had been so advanced that Alphonse had no idea what he was looking at any more. He'd told Roy wonderingly that it was like stories he'd heard of people who lost a sense – the other senses got stronger to compensate. It was like the loss of the ability to use alchemy had increased his ability to think alchemy. Alphonse had admitted to Roy in confidence that that was why he hadn't had more of problem with his brother's desire to travel – he thought that stuck there in that little town with nothing but his brain to distract him would drive him mad eventually.
"Anything interesting a novice like me could follow along with?"
"You're hardly a novice," Edward snorted, sitting up straight and glancing toward the kitchen. "And… that's kind of why I came to Central, actually. I need another set of eyes on this, another perspective…"
"On what exactly?" Roy asked, keeping himself from leaning forward in anticipation as they finally got to the root of what the hell was going on with Edward.
Just as Edward took s breath to continue the door from the kitchen swung open and the manager appeared carrying their plates. Roy swallowed down a curse and forced himself not to wave off the food for another five minutes. He didn't want Edward to lose his nerve but he didn't want to seem overly interested – he was sure it was their calm banter that had eased him into sharing in the first place.
Edward's mouth shut with a click and Roy gave him an apologetic smile. He could see him locking down again already. Not good, he had to keep him relaxed.
"Sorry, Fullmetal, this smells so delicious I'm not sure I can concentrate on complicated theory while it's in front of me."
Edward gave a soft "che", shaking his head, but agreed. "Does smell pretty damn good."
The rest of the meal was spent mostly in silence. Roy's desire to get the information from Edward became second to making sure he ate well – something he was sure he hadn't done in a long while. He was afraid any attempt at further conversation would derail him from his dinner.
It didn't take long before the plates were clean and the manager was back asking how everything was. They both impressed how delicious everything was and then were on their way. They'd just gotten into the car and waved off the overzealous valets when Roy decided to get things back on track.
"My place isn't far, would you like to come over for some coffee?"
Edward blinked and looked over at him with disbelieving raised eyebrows. "Did you forget I'm not one of your regular dates, bastard? I'm not going home with you for 'coffee'."
Roy found himself in the rare situation of being speechless and embarrassed and opened his mouth and shut it a few times before words finally came out.
"Actual coffee, Fullmetal," he growled. "That wasn't meant as an innuendo."
"I know, but you should've seen your face," he said with an evil snicker, sounding more like his old self than he had all night.
"But it's nice to know where your mind was at," Roy purred, snatching the upper hand back and cutting off Edward's laugh. "So, real coffee? Then if you want something else after…"
It was Edward's turn to gape like a fish as his cheeks lit up. "Real coffee is enough, bastard. Save that crap for your next date. The restaurant wasn't that impressive."
"It was pretty damn good though," Roy said thoughtfully, thinking back on his steak with fond memories.
"Yeah, it was. Can't remember the last time I ate like that."
"No four star restaurants anywhere in your travels?" He asked curiously, guiding his car home.
"No money to eat at them," Edward said with a laugh and a shrug.
Roy scowled at that, mind turning over ways that the military could somehow fund Fullmetal's travels without requiring him to reenlist. While they were saving a lot of money without all the war mongering going on from Bradley's time, they were still spending a lot in reconstruction and aide to the area's most devastated by his rule.
"Quit worrying, you'll strain something. I do just fine. Meet a lot of nice people. Most of the time someone drags me home to eat with their family. It's nice, actually…"
Roy thought about that and smiled a little. "It does sound nice…"
When he was met with silence he glanced over to see Edward giving him a strange look.
"What?"
"Nothing… I just- I guess I never pictured that being something you'd enjoy. Nights out at fancy restaurants, empty or full, seem more your style."
"The grass is always greener on the other side, right?" He said with a nonchalant shrug.
"But that grass looks appealing to you? Strange people in strange countries and home cooked meals?"
Company, family, warmth… Yes, all of those things sounded appealing. Some of his best memories were dinners at the Hughes' home. Not that he'd admit any of that to Fullmetal…
"Doesn't sound bad," he offered instead, pulling around to the back of his home and parking.
"It's not. At all," Edward said, following him out of the car and up the back steps. "Every place is so different, yet… not really. It's hard to explain. But it's amazing seeing it in person, how each place has shaped the people there…"
Roy unlocked the door and stepped inside, clicking on the kitchen light.
"What's been your favorite place?"
"Aerugo has some amazing sights," Edward answered, shutting the door behind him. "But hot as fuck a lot of the time. The area by the sea is unbelievable though…"
"I can believe it," Roy said, tossing his coat on the back of a kitchen chair. "I got a postcard, remember?"
The sight on the front of the card had been unlike anything Roy had ever seen with waterfalls and cliffs and pristine beaches. He could admit he was fiercely jealous of Fullmetal's freedom at that moment.
"Oh yeah," Edward laughed slightly. "Forgot about that. Really didn't do it justice though. The feel of the sun and the spray of the ocean. The smell of the heat and the salt and the flowers. Pretty fucking amazing. Xing is really beautiful, too, though. Once you get away from the desert, anyway."
"And least favorite place?"
"Drachma," Edward said with a scowl and not a second's hesitation. "Everything – the people, the weather, the landscape – is so harsh all of the time. Not that there aren't good people there, they're just… I don't know. It's just exhausting being there. Desert is pretty shitty too though. All that nothing gets creepy after a while."
Edward leaned a hip against the counter while Roy grabbed two cups down before stopping cold, words dying in his throat as he realized what he'd been about to do.
"You usually use alchemy to make, coffee, don't you?" Edward's voice was soft as he looked at the faint arrays carved into the countertop next to the cups.
"Yes, sorry," Roy said, not sure why he was apologizing just unbelievably glad he'd stopped before he'd accidently broken his promise to Edward. "No worries, I think I still remember how to make it the old fashioned way."
His smile faded as he glanced over and saw the look on Edward's face.
"Don't apologize to me," Edward said, turning away and sliding into one of the kitchen chairs, not meeting Roy's eyes.
"What is this, Edward? What's going on?" Roy asked, sitting the coffee beans on the counter and turning. "Enough of the cryptic statements. The sooner you tell me just what the hell is wrong the sooner we can work at fixing it."
Edward's wide eyes shot up to his and then he chuckled, rubbing his face roughly.
"Leave it to you to just assume you can fix it," he mumbled through his hands.
"That's why you're here, isn't it?"
Ed gave a shrug and looked away.
"I thought maybe… there was a chance…" He said, looking out into the dark through the kitchen window. "I guess I just wanted to see you again. To tell you thanks and congratulations. And, I guess, to ask if you could watch out for Al. Stop him if he tries to do something stupid…"
Roy's breath was locked in his chest as his wide eyes studied the defeated posture of the man at his table.
He'd come here hoping for help…
But expecting death.
This was goodbye…
Roy was across the kitchen in three strides, sliding into the chair to the right of Edward so closely that his knee bumped his, drawing a startled look from him.
"Tell me."
Edward stared at him a moment, the desperation obvious in his eyes from this close. He must've known how vulnerable he seemed from that distance because he shifted his eyes out into the black of Roy's yard again.
"An alchemist in Aerugo… He must've figured out what happened here, or maybe he found some research, I'm not sure…"
Roy shook his head in confusion. "Pertaining to what, Fullmetal?"
"The Philosopher's stone. Making a transmutation circle on a grand scale to sacrifice lives."
Roy's breathing stopped and his hands, folded together on the table as he leaned toward Edward, tightened on each other to the point of pain.
"He was going to…"
Ed nodded. "He already had them scattered through the city by the time I figured out what the bastard was up to. When I got there… I was too late…I just wanted to stop him. It was just supposed to be one time. And it was just theory, it didn't-"
Edward was getting more and more distraught as his nonsensical fragments ran together, losing Roy on whatever path he was on. Edward hunched forward over the table, palms of his hands pressed to his eyes and fingers tangling roughly in his hair.
"It's always there. Waiting and watching… I can't keep this up forever, but damn it-"
Roy placed a hand on Edward's shoulder, ignoring the jump it caused and squeezed slightly.
"You've lost me, Edward. Slow down. You found out the alchemist was planning to make a large scale Philosopher's stone and then what?"
The man couldn't have been successful. Their relationship with Aerugo was still new and the other country was understandably leery of Amestris, but Roy was still sure he'd have heard of an entire city of people dying there.
"I chased him into a building," Edward went on, position the same but voice soft and tired now instead of distraught. "Stepped right into his transmutation circle like a fucking idiot…"
"What?!" Roy's hand he hadn't realized was still on Edward's shoulder tightened again.
"Bastard wanted to use me as a sacrifice," Ed gave an edgy laugh. "Like I hadn't heard that one before. Ended up in front of the Gate, talked to Truth, tried to get it to stop Keller, but well, it was as much as a fucking asshole as always."
Roy's mouth felt dry and he couldn't find any words. He remembered that thing only all too well. It was forever burned into his memory. Thinking of Edward, standing before it as a sacrifice, trying to reason with it…
"But you're here. And I haven't heard any reports of large scale death in Aerugo…"
Ed shook his head. "I had a backup plan. I didn't want to- I couldn't think of anything else. I had to stop him, Mustang. He said it was just the beginning, I couldn't let him-"
Edward had finally removed his hands from his face, looking at Roy in desperation.
"What did you do?" He asked softly, almost afraid to know.
Edward flinched like he'd been struck and hunched lower in his seat, the hair he'd pulled loose from its tie hiding his face.
"In Drachma, when I was fighting Kimbley, I almost died," he said quietly, both the change of subject and the revelation surprising Roy. "In order to keep from dying I used my own life force, like I was a Philosopher's stone myself. Shortened my lifespan and used the energy to heal myself enough to keep from bleeding out then and there."
He wanted to scold him for being so reckless, but the words wouldn't come out. He wasn't a child anymore and honestly wasn't really much of one then. If he felt he'd been pushed to that point-
"Is that what you did? To stop this other alchemist?" He asked almost choking on the words. How much life force would he have to exchange? How much time would he have left?
But Edward shook his head, relieving Roy until he started speaking again.
"I wasn't enough," he said, words thick. "I wasn't nearly enough. But all the other people that were there… I could see them, I could feel their energy in the air… I just grabbed onto them and pulled…"
Things were getting a little abstract for Roy's logical mind as he tried to follow Edward's thought process. He couldn't be saying he used them as a stone, that wasn't Edward's style – to save many in the grand scheme by killing a few. Still, he wasn't quite as sure as he normally would be as he stared at Edward's tortured figure and waited for him to continue.
"I used them," he said finally. "I took energy from all of them and recreated my Gate with it. I'm not exactly sure what happened after that. I blacked out I guess – it was just so much – when I woke up Keller was dead and everyone in the city was safe. But I think they remembered - somehow they knew what I'd stolen – the way they looked at me…"
So he hadn't killed them, but…
"You used their life force to combat the Gate and Keller's plan?" Roy asked, wanting to make sure he was following along properly.
Edward nodded and Roy knew they were both remembering "Father". The way he'd drained the people of Amestris in the intention of turning them to into a Philosopher's stone. Riza and the others had told him how it felt, to be unable to move and feeling yourself get weaker and weaker…
"But you didn't kill them, Edward. You took some of their energy but in exchange you saved their lives," he said, putting the pieces together. "I think that's an equivalent exchange and I doubt any of them would argue the point had you stayed and explained things to them."
"I thought the same thing. Better a little less time alive than no time at all."
"There's something else," Roy realized. Edward wouldn't look so broken, wouldn't be here in front of him, if all he'd needed was validation.
"I thought it would just be for that one time, but I could feel it, like it was looming just behind me…"
"What was?"
Haunted eyes met his. "The Gate."
"The Gate was following you?" Roy asked, suppressing a shiver.
"Yes, but… It was the Gate I created with the people's energy. I could feel them…" He swallowed hard and looked away. "I knew I could do alchemy again if I wanted, since the Gate was still there, but I refused because I was afraid it would take more from them. It wasn't until a few weeks later that I realized I fucked up a lot worse than I thought…"
A knock at the door made both of them jump. Both of them looked first to the window, which showed the pitch black and still unrelenting rain, to the clock and then to each other. Whoever it was wasn't calling casually.
Roy stood and slipped a hand into his pocket for his gloves only to realize they were still in the car. With a low curse he started toward the study where he kept another pair, only to be stopped by Edward shooting out of his chair and grabbing his arm.
"No alchemy!" He hissed, looking fevered.
"You realize that assassination attempts aren't out of the realm of possibility for someone like me, don't you, Fullmetal?"
"Using alchemy would make things much worse."
"Worse than an assassination?!"
"Worse than an attempt, bastard," Edward said with an eye roll then pulled a long wicked looking knife from his belt. "Just trust me on this."
Roy looked from Edward to the knife and back again then grabbed his own gun from where it was strapped to the underside of the kitchen table.
"That thing was pointed at my balls this whole time?" Edward asked, his question punctuated by another loud knock.
"Riza can be a bit overzealous. They're all over the damned house."
It was fascinating to watch Edward move with such silence and stealth – whoever was on the other side would certainly only hear Roy's steps if any at all - then disappear into the dining room to the left of the door, where the shadows were the deepest.
Looking through the peephole, Roy breathed a little easier at the sight on the other side. While the military uniform didn't equate to safety and the size of the person would be serious cause for concern if it wasn't who he thought it was, the odds that it was Major General Armstrong on the other side were fairly high.
Opening the door, still keeping the gun ready just in case, he was happy to see his assumption was correct and it was indeed Armstrong.
"Major General, please come in. Not a very nice night to be out for a stroll," he said, standing aside and flicking the safety back on the gun.
Bald head glistening and mustache dripping water, Armstrong ducked through the door and closed it softly behind him.
"My apologies for the late intrusion," he said, looking like he was trying desperately to keep his dripping contained to the entrance rug. "I just received new intel I felt you needed to know of before your meetings tomorrow."
"And you couldn't have called?"
"I did call earlier, sir. There was no answer. I felt that along with relaying my intel that I could check that all was well here. And it seems my Armstrong Family Instincts have served me well, because you have someone hiding in your dining room, sir."
Before he could get the words out to tell him it was just Fullmetal, Armstrong's fists came together and his arrays burst into life.
Then all hell broke loose.