Ch. 3 is here! Please review and tell me what you think!

I'm not sure I got the Bathroom Attendants' masks right. Please forgive me for any mistakes.

CHAPTER THREE- BATHROOM ATTENDANTS

The next three weeks were almost pure torture.

Corp. Gunsworth was not a nice drill sergeant. Arthur supposed no nice drill sergeant existed, but still. Besides not being able to so much as pronounce the 'h' in any word and thus being almost incomprehensible, Gunsworth didn't seem to care that Arthur was just a mortal boy. He pushed the boy to such extremes that Arthur discovered numerous muscles he didn't know he had, every discovery so painful he had to hold back tears. He had to admit, though, that his endurance was slowly building.

Nowhere fast enough for Gunsworth.

Dinner was not much better. Sir Thursday had told Arthur to be grateful for his daily meal, since most soldiers didn't receive repast until the end of a six-month period, sometimes earlier if an ample reward was in order. Arthur was indeed grateful for his food. He was, however, not happy that he had to share it with Thursday. The Denizen was increasing volatile every day, and eventually stopped coming to dinner altogether. Noon and Dusk explained this was because, in his current moods, Thursday posed a risk to all of them, especially to Arthur.

The only bright spot in all of this was Marshall Dawn. Somehow, she knew exactly when he needed to be left alone, and when he needed something to perk him up. She gave him all sorts of little treats and surprises: candies she had nicked from Thursday's private larder, extra sharp-shooting lessons (Gunsworth was hesitant to give Arthur any, because of the shortage of Nothing-powder), and even quick pointers in fencing. Arthur quite enjoyed the fencing lessons, though by the end of them he was so sore he wished Dawn would just let him sleep several hours.

But she didn't. She always woke him before the Great Maze's purple moon fully set, before so much as a single ray of sunshine peeked over the horizon. Like a grinning, ever-perky sentinel of smiling doom, there she was every morning to ruin his blissful, too-few hours of sleep. And when in the House did she wake up? She was already dressed, shaved- which Arthur still thought was ridiculous- and even already begun the day's work by the time she came to get him. He supposed she might have woken him up early so that he wouldn't have to share the washroom with Noon and Dusk, who he realized on his third day were not the most cordial when unsupervised. He had decided Dawn acted too much like a know-it-all and went for an extra twenty minutes of sleep. The result was attempting to shave in the mayhem of the washroom. He didn't even know where the bubbles floating around came from. Bubbles!

Needless to say, he never made that mistake again.

Though he didn't know how, Arthur survived those three weeks, and even started to have a sort of filial affection for Dawn, Noon, and Dusk, almost as if they were family. Dawn was certainly the most motherly Denizen he'd ever seen, and Dusk told him it was because she spent so much time around Piper's Children. "We may not seem like it," he told Arthur, "but us soldiers especially have a soft spot for children."

Now, Arthur was marching to the mess on his own. Three weeks was ample time to get acquainted with the Star Fort and even the Citadel, and he could find his way around it with ease. He stopped at the large noticeboard in the main hallway. It usually didn't have anything to do with him, though every now and then Dawn or Gunsworth would post something about extra lessons, which almost always elicited a groan. He made it a habit to check, even though he either never liked what he saw or never saw anything.

"Recruit Penhaligon report to Bathroom Attendants at 0600?" Arthur read aloud. "What are Bathroom Attendants?"

He turned to ask a nearby Denizen the question. All the Denizens in the Fort had presumably gotten used to his presence, though none were ever very pleasant- after all, he was still a recruit, and a mortal one at that. There were, however, no Denizens around. That was strange. This was the 'thoroughfare' of the Fort, a hub of the Denizen traffic; it was never empty.

"Hmm," Arthur mused.

He brought it up at dinner. Sir Thursday was there this time around, clearly not interested in conversation. But Arthur was curious, and he ventured, "Sir, what are bathroom attendants?"

Sir Thursday looked up from his plate of greens. "What? Where did you see that?"

"The noticeboard. It said I had to report to Bathroom Attendants tomorrow, sir."

Sir Thursday pounded the table, adding yet another dent to the numerous already collected there, and cursed loudly. Dawn winced. "Sir-"

"That- that- first she drops him off on me, then she tries to wash him between the ears!"

"Wash me between the ears?" Arthur cried, startled.

"I- we- won't allow it," Dawn assured him.

"There's nothing I can do about it," Thursday growled. "The nerve. This will set your training back for sure, and no doubt has... political... reasons behind it."

No one needed to add that Thursday hated politics; it was well-known. Arthur didn't think a single Denizen in the Great Maze liked politics.

"I can't be washed between the ears!" Arthur said.

"But you must be," Thursday sighed, the anger already leaving him. Arthur frowned. He wasn't ever so defeatist; the campaign really must not have been going well at all.

"Surely, you can appeal, sir," Noon suggested.

"It'd go nowhere. The Upper House runs both the Bathroom Attendants and the Appeals. They'd just ignore it." Thursday scowled. "Tomorrow, eh? You better get started."

"Get started on what?" Arthur asked.

"Writing down important things- name, favorite color, anything you'd like to remember. I suggest you'd not make it too... readable... so that it may compromise your safety if it falls into the wrong hands," Thursday replied. "I will excuse you from training tomorrow."

"Really? That's nice."

"You probably won't be conscious," Noon said. "That's the real reason."

"Oh." For a second, Arthur had actually thought Sir Thursday was being nice.

"I am a soldier," Thursday said. "I follow orders. I'm sorry, Arthur, but your orders are to report tomorrow at 0600. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Arthur said, and nodded. He noticed not one of them- Dawn, Noon, Dusk, or Thursday- was meeting his gaze. Almost as if he was diseased, or dying.

Arthur had no idea whatsoever on what to write.

He started off by topping the paper with 'Arthur Penhaligon.' Underneath, he wrote down the name of his family. He thought for a moment, then added, 'Leaf,' and 'Branch- prefers to be called Ed.' He wrote his age- 12- and his favorite color- blue. But after that, he was stumped.

Arthur knew being the Rightful Heir was important, but he had no idea how to code it. In the end, he wrote, 'R.H.' and scribbled underneath, 'Mister Monday, Grim Tuesday, Drowned Wednesday.' After a moment of hesitation, he also quickly printed 'Steward- DP, friend- Suzy TB,' and 'Human.' Hopefully, he would not forget his wish to retain his humanity.

Looking back at his notes, Arthur wondered if he'd made them too cryptic. Would he understand them? And as for Suzy TB- would he remember it as Suzy Turquoise-Blue, or Suzy Tuberculosis? Hopefully not the second.

Arthur snickered at the thought. Suzy Tuberculosis...

A rap on the door brought his attention out of the past and into the present. Arthur quickly stuck the paper in his pocket and opened the door. Dusk saluted. "Recruit. I wanted to assure you that if you wish, I could hold on to something for you, until you need it, so as to keep it safe after your washing."

Arthur shrugged. "I don't have anything, but thanks." Arthur fingered the ring in his pocket, a gift from Dr. Scamandros. The silver was overrun in four parts gold, and if two more parts, he would become a Denizen. It was important to him, but he didn't think Dusk needed to hold on to it. He would have it in his pocket, where it was safe enough.

"Silver is supposed to help resist the washing," Dusk said suddenly. "Silver coins under the tongue. And salt."

Then he was gone.

Arthur sighed. If he couldn't escape the washing, he might as well get some sleep- every muscle and tendon in his body screamed for it.

Arthur didn't have a clock, but he could tell Dawn had come for him far earlier than normal. "Wash and shave, quickly," she said in a harsh whisper, looking over her shoulder often.

Arthur complied. Once he was done, she beckoned for him to follow her.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Where are we going?"

Dawn put a finger to her lips.

After several minutes, Arthur realized they were going up the path to her secret spot, though in the dark it was nearly unrecognizable. He nearly tripped in the weirdway, still not used to the strange ground- if it could be called that- and shivered once he reached the parapet. It was cold, and the moon was a quarter of the way on its descent. It didn't take a genius to know that it wouldn't be 0600 for at least an hour.

"What's going on?" Arthur asked again.

"I'm technically disobeying orders, that's what," Dawn replied. "Noon and Dusk are covering for me. I wanted to hide you, but I was a bit too afraid... they told me to go for it. Um, I suppose you could wait here until around 0800. Maybe later. Y'know what, I'll come and get you. Yes, that sounds good. Once the Bathroom Attendants leave, I'll come and get you."

"Um, do you think they'll find me?" Arthur asked.

"Probably not," Dawn said. Then she bit her lip and amended, "Hopefully."

"Are you allowed to be doing this?" Arthur inquired. From what he'd seen of Thursday, he doubted the Day would be all right with Dawn disobeying orders, even if it was an order Thursday himself didn't want to follow.

"No! That's why it's disobeying orders!"

"But is it all right? Won't Thursday..."

Dawn understood his meaning. "I'll be fine. He's dealt some rough ones before; it can't be too bad. The important thing is you."

"Dawn..."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

Arthur fell asleep.

He hadn't meant to. He told himself he'd watch the sky, would wait for Dawn to come get him, but it was so hard to keep his eyes open, especially since he'd slept even less than usual.

He jerked awake when he heard a strange groaning behind him.

Arthur jumped to his feet and blinked. The weirdway was opening; Dawn was coming for him!

He smiled, but then his cheer quickly turned into panic when he heard voices.

"I apologize for my subordinate's actions. Rest assured, she will be reprimanded."

A voice undoubtedly Thursday's.

He found me. He must have forced Dawn to tell where she hid me. He found me, he found me, he found me...

Two things raced through Arthur's mind: the first was that Thursday would not be pleased as his failure to report, and the second was that he was about to be washed between the ears. Arthur remembered Dusk telling him last night that silver and salt helped resist...

But I don't have silver, or salt, Arthur thought dismally, sticking his hands in his pockets. His fingertips brushed the ring, and he hastily brought it out and inspected it in the wan light. It wasn't completely silver, and it wasn't a coin, but it was better than nothing.

Arthur had just put it in his mouth when the weirdway burst open and Thursday roared onto the parapet, red in the face. He caught sight of Arthur and grabbed the boy's hair, pulling him off his feet and yanking him in front of three cloaked figures. It hurt. Badly. So badly Arthur nearly choked on the ring. Thursday let go, and Arthur fell onto his knees in front of the three, each one wearing a different mask: one was twisted in agony, one was weeping, and one was laughing, though it was not a joyful chuckle of mirth, but something more sinister.

They held a crackling crown of shimmering blue and white, and Arthur tried to dash past them, to the open weirdway beyond, but Thursday lashed out and grabbed his ankle, bringing him crashing to the ground. The crown descended upon his head, and Arthur felt deep, intense pain...

Then blackness.

He was falling, silently screaming, in the nihilism that swallowed him whole.