AN: No idea where this is going. NONE. I just start writing, and this is what comes out. Also, the characters don't belong to me.
"I'm so glad you got me out of the Interceptor so I can smash into Kilowog's behind, which I was already more familiar then I cared to be", Razer grumbled as Aya was carrying him.
"Apologies. I wasn't aware that your spatial awareness would suffer along with your mobility when I deprived you of your power ring. Or were you born that way?", Aya countered.
"Hmpf. Where are you taking me?"
"We are here, in fact".
Aya dropped Razer off in front of a huge skyscraper that stretched up the heavens, far beyond Oa's curtain of clouds.
"What's in there?"
"It's the meeting hall. It's a place of gathering from Green Lanterns, where they receive their mission statemens and participate in briefings"
"So... it's the place where the puppets see their stirngs", Razer mused.
"Let's go. You should get customed to the suroundings"
"Why do I need to get accoust...HEY!", Razer was interrupted by Aya grabbing him by the arm, quite forcefully, and dragging him inside.
"This feels less like a guided tour and more like an enforced trip to the dentist", Razer remarked.
Inside the great hall the green lanterns were buzzing around, either standing in small groups talking amongst themselves or simply making their solitary way back and forth. It didn't really feel like a command center like Razer had seen on his home planet, and it definitely wasn't the same atmosphere as in the case of Atrocitus's Shard. Red Lanters could socialize, but only for brief intervals of 15 to 20 minutes. Any longer than that, somebody would get their teeth knocked out. That's what happens when you mix rage-powered soldiers with smalltalk.
Razer was growing more uncomfortable by the second as he was scanning the faces of the tens of dozens of Green Lanterns, from all the corners of the universe. He never really internalized that he was on Oa until that second, and for all the time he spent with Atrocitus's army, he only had to deal with Green Lanterns one or two at a time maximum. This was more green than he could take.
And he felt like everybody was staring at him... until he realised that he wasn't the one being stared at. It was Aya. His head did a zig-zag between Aya and all the male Green Lanterns ogling her features. The feeling of awkwardness was replaced by something else...
One of the Green Lanterns, a human no less, approached Aya with familiarity. Razer decided immediately that he didn't like this Lantern. His hair had a very annoying shade of orange.
"Hello, gorgeus", he said.
"Greetings, Green Lantern Guy Gardner. I must warn you that you are overestimating the esthetic quality of my physical form"
"You can't overestimate that face", he said placing his hands on the sides of Aya's face. Razer then went beserk, grabbed him by the enormous collar on his undershirt and shoved his face in the floor, which cracked under the pressure.
Actually, he only imagined all that. But if simply imagining it gave him such joy after a surge of anger, actually doing it must be even better. Thankfully, he controlled himself.
"I was wondering if you're gonna keep your promise and let me show you the bar later" Guy continued.
"Unfortunately, Guy Gardner, I do not consume alcoholic drinks so the utility of your establishment would be lost on me. But perhaps me and my friend Razer who can metabolize alcohol could stop by later", Aya explained.
"Oh..." Guy mouthed and finally looked in Razer's direction, which he had been ignoring up until then.
"Yeah, the 'nice' Red Lantern" Gardner said and for some reason raised two fingers from each hand and bent them slightly when pronouncing the word nice. Razer saw Hal Jordan use the same gesture from time to time in an ironic fashion.
"Hal Jordan told me about you. Hi, I'm Guy", Gardner presented himself and extended his hand. Razer simply looked at it with a raised eyebrow.
"'Nice' to meet you", the Red Lantern said eventually and used the same air quotes that Guy used earlier.
"So Aya is showing you around", Guy remarked, ignoring the gesture."How do you like it?"
"It's an acquired taste"
"It's a good thing you're out of red pijamas, some guys around here might mistake you for a bad guy"
"Unfortunately the lack of apropriate wardrobe was not MY idea", Razer mumbled looking in Aya's direction
"But I can see why in this particular context it might seem more prudent"
"Make sure you keep it off if you're coming to Warriors later"
"Warriors?"
"My bar", Guy said smugly.
"You called your bar 'Warriors'? Hah, humans and their twisted sense of irony..."
Guy squinted his eyes after the last comment.
"Meaning?"
"Well, Green Lanterns are not warriors, are they. Warriors are supposed to fight wars, whereas Green Lanterns are, as Jordan likes to boast, a force for peace, and harmony, and love. No wait, that's the Star Saphires. Anyway... Something like... 'Intergalactic Holier than Thou Do-gooders' would be far more apropriate name. But then you probably wouldn't sell as many drinks. But then again maybe the whole point of your establishment is to sell so much alcohol that you Green Lanterns could in fact trick yourself into believing you are actual warriors, and not the manipulated overpowered Guardian puppets that you actually are. In which case, it's a brilliant business model."
Guy kept a straight face throughout Razer's entire speech.
"Aya, hold this for me please" he finally said and took off his power ring. He then proceeded to get right in Razer's face.
"Why don't you and me step outside"
Razer smirked.
"With pleasure"
AN: I don't know how familiar people are with Guy Gardner. Hopefully familiar enough to know that he's another human GL and he's a bit of a jackass. :)