Hi sweeties! I'm here again. I'm being really fast with these updates for some reason (I'm usually too unmotivated to do anything useful). Guess I've just been really bored lately (and the reviews are so motivating). I'm never really doing anything useful in the summer holidays, I don't even have summer job... But, that's good for you guys, right? Now about this chapter... I lied to you last time when I said the real story would start in this chap, sorry! I didn't intend to write it like I did, but this is how it turned out. Whatever...
I hope no one out there has anything against yuri, since there are hints of that in this chapter. But anyway, you don't have to worry about it, Naruto will be paired up with a guy eventually. And for people who want to know more about the pairing, I will tell you that I haven't yet decided who the lucky lad will be, but I've picked the candidates. But I am NOT telling you who they are. I'll use whoever fits my story best (and whoever of them I like the most at that time), and it'll be a surprise.
If you still remember, I told you before that I got the inspiration for this story from another fic, but couldn't recall the name of it at the time I put up chap one. Thanks for RobotPirateNinja for giving me the name of that wonderful story. It's called "Brutality", and the author is Viperflamer.
Thank you very much for all the reviews and keep them coming, please!
(NOTE: This chapter has been edited.)
I don't own Naruto, and blah, blah, blah...
For a Reason to Exist
Chapter Three — Noodles, Noodles!
Naruto's eyes narrowed as she viewed the files in front of her. She had no idea why, but from time to time, she felt the need to dig them out from the mess inside her drawer and take a look at them. Naruto truly did not know why she wanted to do that—she just did. And every single time, she merely stared at them, bit her lip, and stared. Of course, staring at them did not change anything, but even so, she couldn't get her eyes off them. She wanted to rip the files in pieces and burn the remains, but at the same time was unable to do so. What was stopping her, she couldn't understand.
Naruto blinked, trying to force away the annoying anger. She was sitting on her futon, sipping tea, looking at the two folders in front of her. The spring was unusually hot this year, and the wildlife outside her window was blossoming. The birds, which most of the people found adorable, were annoying the hell out of her with their chirping. She wouldn't move to close the window, however, as she was far too concentrated on other things at the moment.
Naruto put her tea away, and picked up the first of the folders. It was named "Inoue Kushina". She opened it, took out the papers inside and spread them in front of her. Quickly going through them, she found the ones she was looking for, and set the others out of the way. Naruto had read all of them so many times that she could almost remember them word by word, but it didn't stop her from feeling the need to read them again and again.
The file was filled with all sorts of information of this woman called Inoue Kushina. From the date of her birth to her death, inside the file were included many medical records, all the official information about her and a picture, as well as some "unofficial" info. She had originally been an orphan from a simple farmer family and then a jounin of Konohagakure, trained one team of genins during her life, and finally died before her time at the age of twenty five.
"No known relatives……Cause of death… suicide…"
But the important part was—
"…Gave birth to a child……given the name Uzumaki (Naruto) after the father…… "
Naruto bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. Uzumaki. That was the name they had given her. Not Namikaze. Not even Inoue.
Uzumaki.
It was her name. She couldn't change that, and in the end, truthfully she didn't even want to. She had no other connection to her parents but her blood, and even that was too much for her. The only feelings she held for the two of them were hate and bitterness. So why befoul herself with their names?
But if that was really the case, if it was truly her opinion, then why did she keep looking at their files time after time? Naruto frowned. Maybe she really should destroy them. If for no other reason, then at least to get the annoying, confusing emotions out of her chest.
Sighing, she took the single picture from amongst the papers and looked at it. There, a pretty redhead with pale blue eyes gazed back at her, wearing a cheerful smile on her smooth face. It was the only picture of her mother that Naruto possessed, and even from that single one it was easy to spot the resemblance between herself and the woman. Naruto seemed to have inherited her face and skin tone and thin figure.
Naruto's hair color and eyes, however, were from her father. It was obvious to see when she looked at any picture of the Yondaime. They had the same eyes—or should she say eye, as she no longer had the other one. Good riddance, was Naruto's opinion—she hated her blue eye anyway, very much preferring the red, demonic one.
One wouldn't guess by looking at her (or from her arrogant attitude), but Naruto hated the way she looked. She hated her blonde hair and so, one day, she had simply decided to cut it off. Even now she kept it short, only letting it grow as long as a couple of inches. It was spiky and wild and impossible to tame, and she hated it. Naruto hated her face, too. Even though she had never had any skin problems or anything alike, she just couldn't stand the sight of herself. Her nose, her lips, her jaw… she didn't like them. They were too much like those two… That was why, unlike most people, she rarely bothered to look at herself in the mirror before heading out. She was ugly and it wasn't going to change, so there was no need to waste her time by gawking at her reflection. Indeed, the only things she found beautiful about her body were the red left eye and arm, and maybe her whisker marks.
But despite her hatred for her looks, Naruto wasn't insecure. She had no need for beauty, only power. She wanted to be invincible, and thus, invisible. She wanted to be lost within the masses—she wanted to be truly alone.
Numb to their words. Obvious to their glares. Deaf to their whispers.
Most of the time, anyway.
But someone wise had once said that the best defense is a good offence, and Naruto went by that rule wholeheartedly. But there were still things she had to perfect about her "armor", and Naruto's irritating desire to know things about her parents more than proved it. She was still vulnerable in many ways.
Naruto put her mother's picture down and stood up. Making her way to the kitchen, she decided it was time for a late supper, and then sleep. She would have to get up early the next morning to train.
Naruto's small apartment was mostly bare of any furniture and other things unrelated to training and her daily needs, but somehow she still managed to keep it almost freakishly untidy. Scrolls, clothes and dirty dishes were everywhere, and it was dusty and filthy. But Naruto hardly minded. She didn't pay much attention to such trivial things (trivial to her, that is), although the dust clouds, when she moved around too carelessly, did make her sneeze at times.
Not another soul but herself and Sarutobi had ever stepped inside her apartment since she had moved in. Also, the building where the Hokage had arranged for her to live had started emptying of tenants suspiciously fast after she had come to live in her apartment. No need to say that the landlord hadn't been too pleased with her or the Hokage. For some reason though, Naruto hadn't been kicked out to the streets quite yet, and now she lived in a practically deserted building on the poorer side of Konoha, with birds, rats and stray cats as her only neighbors. But she was content with her living arrangements. At least here she had her own space and the solitude she wanted.
But that was about to change. She would no longer be allowed to live inside her bubble, in this reality she had created for herself.
She had thought of the past twelve months as blessed days within this hell called life, for they had no doubt been the best times of her existence. During this time she had become colder, her heart more frozen and her mind more aloof, and it had felt like a numbing medicine, a force growing a final, invisible wall between "her and them". During those blessed days she had been allowed to live as she pleased and she had been allowed to be alone. But those days were now at an end. That wall was about to come undone. It wouldn't be long now before this year's graduates would take their final exams, and then she would be swept from her feet, from the grounds she was comfortable on, and forced into a strange world called "reality". Actually, if she remembered correctly, it would be that time in about three weeks.
Naruto grimaced. How did she always manage to spoil her mood by doing something stupid like looking at her parents' files or thinking about depressing things like becoming a real genin? And why did that sound so ironic? It should have been the other way around, she mused, but then again, normality had nothing to do with reality, or so they said.
And where the hell had all the food gone? Naruto sighed loudly and frowned. It seemed like she had forgotten to buy groceries again. And due to the consequences of this bad habit, she was now becoming quite moody. An empty stomach was one thing she absolutely hated. Maybe it was because of her constant training, but she required large amounts of food every day, otherwise she got underweight very quickly. It was as if her body spent more calories than it had time to consume. It was rather annoying, as Naruto rarely had a very good appetite. She thought of food as something to keep her body going rather than anything to enjoy. If it was unnecessary, she would prefer to not eat at all. But unfortunately it was required, and right now especially, as Naruto could hear her stomach grumbling.
"Shut up!" she snapped at it, ignoring how silly it probably sounded. Sometimes, when she talked to her complaining stomach while being around other people, they started goggling at her anxiously like she was going snap at any moment, ready run away at any given sign. They probably thought she was talking to the beast within her. But no, sadly she and the fox could still not communicate unless she concentrated very hard, and meditating was essential for that. But it was fun to watch their horrified expressions. Even in this world of darkness, Naruto had found ways to make light of things.
But nothing was fun or satisfying when she was hungry, and therefore she now decided she would need to go out and buy those damned groceries so she could have something to eat. And so, cursing under her breath, Naruto returned to her bedroom and bandaged her left arm carefully (thank heavens she had long ago learned to do it quickly), grabbed her money and then took off from her small balcony, travelling on the rooftops. Heading towards the closest convenience store that had relatively cheap prices—the money she received monthly was enough for her as long as she didn't waste it in unnecessary luxuries (in her case, new weapons)—she wondered what to buy. Something cheap and easy and fast and filling…
It was an exhilarating experience to feel the wind against her face as she dashed from roof to roof. The sky was getting dark and Naruto felt unusually calm. Working her body always did make her forget about everything stressful and even simple the running and jumping from one rooftop to another helped her relax.
But her calm was broken quickly by a frightened scream that Naruto's sharp ears picked up easily, and she halted curiously. Heading to her left, she jumped down to ground level to investigate. Normally she wouldn't have bothered, but today she was feeling oddly… what? Well, maybe just odd.
It was quite easy for Naruto to locate the source of the scream with her alert senses, and she stopped to observe the scene from a safe distance, disguising her presence with care. There in her view, three men were harassing a young brown-haired girl who looked to be on the verge of tears. One of the men had grabbed her arm and appeared to be trying to drag her somewhere, but the girl was fighting back furiously. The other two men were laughing at their friend's struggle.
"Let go of me!" the girl shouted, trying fruitlessly to get away from the man's grip.
"See, Maki, the gal clearly doesn't like ya. But then, who would with that ugly mug ya call ya face," one of the men sniggered.
"Shut the fuck up!" the man called "Maki" replied angrily. He seemed to have finally reached his limit of patience with the girl's endless struggling, and brought his hand down on her, slapping her hard enough to send her to the ground.
"Ya gonna take her finally? We ain't got the whole night," said the third man, as he eyed their surroundings tensely.
And this was where Naruto's blood ran cold. Take her, meaning… rape her? Were they really planning to…? They couldn't. It wasn't something you could just do to another person. Naruto held no warmth in her heart for the women of Konoha, but she knew the pain of being violated like that. Men were such pigs… She despised them. Every single one of them.
Naruto closed her eyes and tried to breathe deep, as some very unpleasant memories surfaced.
Pain, pain, pain, pain... Screams, and laughing, and blood, and more blood. Lots of blood, too much blood. And they called her a demon, over and over again. 'No! LET ME GO! NO!'
Naruto bit her lip. The brown-haired girl was on her back on the ground, crying, with the man called Maki on top of her. He was lifting up her skirt and sliding down his own pants, and his fingers were travelling and stroking roughly, his palms touching her thighs…
The feeling of something intruding her body… The years hadn't dimmed her memory. Naruto remembered it so very clearly.
The brown-haired girl was screaming and crying, trying to fight off the man above her, but he was too strong for her. The two others were on both of her sides, enjoying what they saw, maybe waiting for their own turn.
And Naruto couldn't watch anymore.
She was tainted, she was dirty… foul and repulsive… ruined…
She remembered all too well how it felt. She was supposed to be cold and uncaring, but…
The moment seemed to drag on forever, until—
Everything happened so quickly that Naruto didn't understand what she had done until the two living men started staggering away from her, their faces twisted in horror. The third, the dead one, was pinned against the nearest wall, his chest pierced trough, by her left arm.
Naruto looked around herself, feeling dazed. It was as though her mind had somehow gone completely blank, and only a terrifying bloodlust had remained. And before she knew it, her arm had already acted on its own, not waiting for her permission for the kill. The man's blood was on her and under her and everywhere around her. And for some odd reason, she felt panicky. Never before had she killed like this—with her bare hands without a weapon. Never on mere instinct, not even that night over six years ago. That time she had done it for self-defense and revenge maybe, but now… Mere impulse. Mere—instinct.
The inside of the man's chest was warm, but death would make it cold soon. Naruto started shaking. Her hand, her hand was inside this man's body. She tried to draw it out, but for some reason she couldn't.
"Let me go, let me go, let me go…" she muttered repeatedly, and took a hold of the body with her right hand to get more strength behind her pull, and finally managed to get her hand out of the man's chest. It was bloody, the bandages had come partially undone, and the smell…
Naruto stared at her hand. What had come over her? Killing was a pleasure, yes, but killing like this… Without a reason, out of control… She had never felt her left arm and eye this unstable before. Sure, they were wicked by nature and always thirsting for blood, but she had never before lost control like this.
And it scared her.
The brown-haired girl was still on the ground, and now staring at her wide-eyed. Naruto couldn't quite distinguish all her thoughts from the look on her face, but she looked stunned. Was she afraid of her? Or angry at her? Why the hell would she be angry when she had just been saved? Naruto didn't know what to do. Time had seemed to come to a standstill. Naruto's earlier thoughts about her parents and about food were long gone and forgotten. Her mind was frozen. Even the birds in the area had seemed to fall silent in the face of the death of another living being. Out of respect, out of instinct, out of fear… Whatever the reason for it, it felt like the whole world had fallen silent around Naruto and the girl and the dead body. The two remaining men had fled long ago, but neither Naruto nor the brown-haired girl moved.
And then suddenly, breaking the spell on them, the unknown girl spoke.
"I…" she began timidly. "You… Uh… Don't cry…"
"Cry?" Naruto repeated dumbly, and her right hand slowly rose up to feel her face. And she felt it then, the few tears that flowed down her cheek from her right eye. But not from the left one. Her red, demonic eye wasn't crying. That one was still out for blood, but now at least under control. And only then did she realize that the brown-haired girl had seen her—was seeing her—both eyes and hands.
But she wasn't running away or screaming or looking at her in horror. Why? How could she not?
"Is… is he dead?" the girl spoke again, this time a little louder.
"Mm…" Naruto replied, letting her mind mull over the fact that she had just put her whole arm through a man's chest. The brown-haired girl's question was pretty stupid, really. "He's got a whole on his chest… Of course he's dead," Naruto remarked dryly, forcibly refraining from calling the girl a retard. It didn't do to anger the only witness she had to vouch for her.
"What should we do?"
Naruto shrugged. She honestly didn't know. Should they alert the authorities… or get rid of the body by themselves? Naruto was surprised the girl hadn't immediately blamed it all on her. She, after all, hadn't done anything wrong. Naruto, on the other hand, had rushed out of nowhere and murdered a man. If they told people about this, Naruto was quite sure those who hated her with the most passion would not lose this opportunity to get her imprisoned or even executed. The brown-haired girl most likely wouldn't get into any trouble, though. She was just an innocent victim of attempted rape.
But Naruto's thoughts were abruptly interrupted, as her ears picked up the sound of people approaching. Damn it, someone nearby had probably felt her red chakra pulsing. For a moment she considered just taking off, but when she recognized the chakra signature of one of the people, she abandoned all thoughts of escaping. She knew that ANBU. Not personally—of course—but she had been "supervised" by him a few times. And since there were ANBU coming, she had no chance of escape. They'd catch her and then she'd be considered even guiltier.
And then they were there, in front of her, looking at her warily. Naruto couldn't see their faces (of course), but she was sure that behind those masks their expressions were quite suspicious, even blaming.
Shit. She was caught literally red-handed.
"Oi, tori!" Naruto spoke to the bird-masked man, who was leader of the squad. "Before you get any ideas, you should know that this man was trying to rape her." She pointed at the brown-haired girl.
"And I suppose it was necessary to brutally kill the man in the process of defending her?" another ANBU spoke with a taunting voice. "And since when have you been kind enough to save someone else?"
"Is she telling the truth?" the bird-masked one asked as he turned to help the brown-haired girl stand.
"Yes," she replied, surprising Naruto with her honesty.
"Your name, miss?"
"—Ayame," she replied, her voice a bit shaky. A large bruise was starting to form on her cheek, and her eyes were red from crying. She slumped tiredly against the man supporting her, and then passed out. Luckily, the ANBU's strong arms caught her easily, and she was lifted up.
"Bring her," he merely said, referring to Naruto, before taking off to the roofs, carrying the girl called Ayame as gently as he could.
"Let's go then," a female ANBU from the side said and approached the blonde. Two of the remaining stayed back and she and another one came with Naruto.
"This is a real mess you've gotten yourself into this time, Uzumaki," the masked woman remarked, her voice lazy and indifferent. Naruto would have betted anything that she was enjoying this. The sadistic bitch. Not that Naruto was any different, though.
"You won't be wriggling yourself out of this mess easily."
The blonde frowned, swearing inside her head. Oh, she knew that. No need to tell her. Only a miracle could save her now.
---
But at that time, it seemed like her bad luck was about to change—for the time being at least. A miracle did happen. Maybe God hadn't abandoned her completely after all, or maybe someone else was watching over her up there (or down there), but whatever it was, Naruto wasn't going to question it. She accepted the miracle silently (or as silently as was possible for her), and thanked her stars.
For so it happened, that the investigation revealed something very nasty about the dead man (and his two companions who had been caught at the village gates), which proved favorable for Naruto. The three men, as was discovered, were wanted criminals from outside the Land of Fire, convicted of several rapes and assaults, and had been lately linked to a man called Gatou, who was considered a very dangerous and suspicious "businessman" operating in the Land of Waves.
And all this had been ridiculously easy to uncover. Were those men even trying to cover up their tracks? Konoha had apparently been just a quick stop on their trip (the information of where they were going was denied from Naruto), but due to alcohol (just how stupid could those idiots be?) they had thrown away all their caution (ignoring the fact that they were inside the walls of a ninja village), and decided they wanted to get laid. And somehow they had even managed to be stupid enough to get caught before being able to flee the village. It was so pathetic that Naruto wanted to gag.
So, all the accusations of murder (or whatever they had been, Naruto hadn't paid much attention) had been dropped with slight encouragement from the Hokage (and Naruto so did not feel like she owed the bastard), and Naruto had instead been given a small reward for catching—executing—a wanted criminal.
And all this had happened in the short time of only three days.
It was truly a miracle.
Later on the third day, after Naruto had been cleared of all charges, the girl she had—as unbelievable as it was—saved, came to her and confronted her. And Naruto didn't understand why. It wasn't as if Naruto had planned or intended to save her, or even wanted to. But the girl, completely ignoring Naruto's sharp glare, refused to back down from her and leave her alone.
"I—"
"What?" Naruto snapped, startling the girl a bit. Her tone of voice was so hostile that any sensible person would've surely given up at that point, but the brown-haired girl only faltered for a second before bracing herself.
"I wanted to thank you for—"
"I don't care. You can shove your thanks up your ass. What I did had nothing to do with you."
"But—"
"What?"
"You saved me anyway, even if you didn't mean to."
Naruto was a bit baffled now. Was that really reason enough to thank someone like her? Who was this girl? Didn't she know who Naruto was? Didn't she know she was talking to the dangerous, bitterly hated demon of the village? The outcast who no one, absolutely no one, dared to associate with, as was the unwritten rule of Konoha.
"My name is Ayame. My father and I have only recently moved here, and—"
Oh, so that was the reason.
"—I was a bit lost that night, after going to the store, and then those—those men saw me and…"
"Why are you telling me this?" Naruto asked blatantly, somewhat surprising the girl with her rudeness. Ayame had to look away for a moment, before she could continue.
"What you did, was… well, it frightened me a lot. Your arm and eye… they're not exactly normal, are they?"
"What do you think, retard?" The girl swallowed nervously as Naruto frowned, annoyance evident on the blonde's face.
"You are Uzumaki Naruto, right? Could I ask you… what is it about you that all these people are so wary of?
"No, you fucking can't, and I'm not going to waste anymore of my time on this. I'm going."
She was about to turn around and walk away, but before she could, Ayame, somehow ignoring all the warning bells ringing in her head, caught her by the hand and stopped her. The tense silence that followed seemed to eat away at the stubborn girl's resolve, and Naruto's furious glare didn't offer any help. The blonde was outright shocked by the girl's daringness. Nobody—and that was really nobody—dared to touch her. It was the unspoken law, the unwritten rule of the village, readily obeyed by both Naruto as well the other party. And this girl had dared to break it.
Naruto furiously wrenched away from her hold.
"Never. Ever. Touch. Me. Again," she uttered from behind her gritted teeth, with her demonic left eye open now. The brown-haired girl had already seen it, so what did it matter at this point?
Ayame was now truly scared. There was not a single person in the world that had ever frightened her more, those horrible three men who had almost raped her included. Everything about the blonde girl's body language was saying that she was just an inch away from physically attacking her, and after seeing what she was capable of and how ruthless she could be, Ayame did not want to risk it with this Uzumaki Naruto person. But she had to get her point across, somehow.
"I… I just…" she stammered.
"What?" the blonde hissed at her threateningly.
"I'm… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to intrude your personal space. I just wanted to…" she fell silent under the younger girl's heated glare.
"Well, spit it out already! I have things to do!" Naruto exclaimed, and Ayame instinctively flinched. But she was a very determined person when she set out to do something, and wasn't about to run away crying now. So, she gathered her courage and briskly met the glare directed at her unblinkingly. How she managed to do this, was beyond even her.
"Uzumaki-san, I wanted to show you my gratitude by offering you free meals at my father's ramen stand."
Naruto watched her for a moment in silent surprise, but then scoffed. "That's not very smart, you know."
"Why?" Ayame asked, not understanding. She was just trying to be kind, after all.
"Because you'd be out of business before you could say 'Sandaime Hokage', if people saw me eating continuously at your place."
"Oh… It's very kind of you to think about our welfare, but you really don't have to worry about that," Ayame replied with a hint of a smile in her eyes. Naruto flushed slightly, a very unusual reaction for her, and scowled in irritation. Seriously, what was this girl thinking?
"I wasn't worried about anything, least of all you! I don't care about what happens to you. I was just stating the facts."
"And I told you, it's not a problem. If people shun you, then you can just eat in the backroom."
"No."
"Why?"
Naruto was utterly confused by this girl's behavior. Nobody had ever been this… open and friendly towards her (except for Sarutobi, but he didn't count), and it was making her very uncomfortable. Why was this Ayame so fixed on getting her to eat at her ramen restaurant? Was she trying to poison her or something? What else could the reason be? Naruto had just a moment ago told her that she hadn't saved her on purpose. Naruto had a minute ago even nearly attacked her. Why couldn't the girl just let things be? Why didn't she understand that Naruto wasn't interested in her charity?
"I don't want your ramen," she stated harshly, feeling oddly hostile. This feeling was different from what she was used to.
And in fact, she herself was making this a bigger deal than it really was. But she just couldn't help herself. It was too confusing, too… painful. Naruto had spent her whole life alone, suffering in her darkness, rejected and shunned, and now all of a sudden, there was someone reaching out a helpful, kind hand for her. Trying to offer her hope that Naruto knew would be crushed the second her secret was found out. Naruto was a jinchuuriki. She was alone, and always would be. She wasn't allowed a normal life, a normal world and normal relationships. The kindness in the brown-haired girl's voice was like a ray of light, but Naruto knew better than to reach out for it. She had already been bitterly disappointed, and the process had no need to be repeated. That ray of light would just slip through her fingers, like always.
This was the very reason why she avoided human contact as much as possible, the very core of her hatred and bitterness. The seed had already sprouted inside of her, and it now spread rapidly in the darkness of her heart. Naruto needed no one. She was alone, and she could get by that way very well. She wasn't weak anymore. She wasn't Sarutobi's pitiful little "Naruto-chan" anymore. She was fine by herself and didn't want this girl's pity or charity, or even her gratefulness. She wanted nothing from her.
But no matter how resolute she was about her decision, Ayame's next question blew her off.
"You're an orphan, right?"
Naruto stared at the girl, too distracted by her words to focus on keeping her glare on. "How do you know that?"
An expression of sadness briefly crossed Ayame's face, before the kind smile returned. She spoke very softly, but not pityingly.
"I think… I think you have very lonely eyes. You look like you've been kicked around quite a bit before you learned to stand up for yourself."
And by all sense, Naruto should have felt offended that a complete stranger was shamelessly analyzing her life for her (and correctly, at that), but she was too stunned to say much anything. This Ayame person was a very, very bizarre one to so boldly confront her and even throw her opinions and assumptions this carelessly at her. No one had ever before dared to do that.
"What…" It was Naruto's turn to search for the right words now. "What are you getting at?"
"Well, I was just thinking that since you're an orphan and live in an orphanage—"
"I live alone."
"…Oh. Well, anyway, since you're an orphan and live alone, you probably don't have much money to spare. If you accept my offer, it'll save you some. It's the smart thing to do, Uzumaki-san, as you probably very well understand."
Ayame's brown eyes were warm and easy to get lost in, and how she managed to hold the blonde's mismatched gaze was a wonder. Not many people did. Something about this girl just drew Naruto. It was something about her straightforward attitude and her sensitiveness to Naruto's feelings. She seemed so… unreal, from where Naruto stood. She was the only person ever to have offered such kindness to her, thoughtfulness in its simplest but most appreciated form, and the fact that she was just a few years older that herself made it even more unbelievable. Naruto hadn't had nearly any contact with people of her own age group in years, and now all of a sudden, this girl… It was… amazing. It felt amazing.
Naruto immediately felt attracted to this Ayame girl's sweet character. Not romantically, as far as she understood, but simply… in a familial way, maybe. Naruto had never had a family, and was quite sure she never would, but it didn't stop the waves of warmth from spreading inside her unwilling heart.
But she didn't want to be disappointed again. She would not be weak again. She had to concentrate on her anger, on her revenge, and stop fantasizing about impossible things.
But this Ayame had never done anything to her. She hadn't even been frightened away by Naruto's demonic eye and arm. Maybe she was different from the others.
But no. Naruto's thoughts were straying now. She did not need a friend. Even if Ayame was willing to become one (and she would surely abandon her the moment someone revealed her dark secret to the girl), Naruto did not need one. She was perfectly capable of being alone. Taking the chance was not worth the risk. She couldn't let trivial matters like friendship or compassion sway her determination, her revenge. She couldn't let anything get in her way. It was better, it was so much easier, to just be alone. Naruto's defense was her offence, and if it was crumbled, then she was bare. And she couldn't take that. Another blow under her cover would be the final nail to her already half-built coffin. Besides, all of this could just be a plot to have her lower her guard so that the people who wanted to hurt her could strike. And Naruto had sworn that would never happen again.
No, it was better to just concentrate on her training and become invincible as quickly as possible and get her final goals cleared.
"Uzumaki-san?" Ayame's kind voice broke her from her thoughts.
"Hn?"
"I have to go now, but I wrote down the address for you," Ayame handed her a piece of paper, which Naruto silently accepted. "Ja… I'll see you later, I hope."
And there was one last smile, one last lingering gaze from those warm, brown eyes, and she turned her back to Naruto and walked away. Naruto watched her for a while, before hurriedly looking away. Why was she staring at the girl when she had already left? This was all so out of character for her. And at what point had it changed to this Ayame girl having to leave, instead of Naruto? No one had ever left her behind before. This Ayame had completely turned her world around in a matter of minutes. It was confusing, and for the first time in years, Naruto felt… vulnerable. Insecure. Weak.
Fuck, what the hell was up with her? Was she really this pathetic? The moment someone offers her a little tiny bit of kindness, it already becomes a test for her resolve. No, Naruto couldn't allow herself to be tricked. She couldn't allow herself such a weakness.
And why was she even thinking about it so much? It was not a big deal. It was just an invitation for ramen. Free meals weren't something she got every day, so why not just accept it? Like this Ayame had said, it was the smart thing to do, considering Naruto's financial situation. She could just as well save some money by going for a free meal to the girl's ramen bar every now and then. Nothing bad about that… right?
Naruto's concentration was so not swaying.
She sneered at herself, and then—finally—took her leave and made her way home. Upon arriving at her apartment, she was greeted with the annoying files about her parents that were still spread on her futon, and a depressingly empty refrigerator. But fortunately, Naruto wasn't hungry at the moment, just tired. And so, she decided to catch up on some sleep and worry about other things later. And that was exactly what she did. And when she woke up, she made her way to Ayame's ramen bar, which Naruto found out was called Ichiraku Ramen, and ate several bowls of the most delicious food she had ever tasted, in the backroom of the place. And after that, she became a regular, visiting the restaurant almost every second day, sometimes paying, sometimes not.
And this was how Naruto discovered her passion for noodles.