«The Tale of Longing for Sex»

Chapter 3: Apodyopsis.

A/N: sorry for the wait! this chapter is mostly an introduction to what's coming in the next one. Thanks for reading!

There are only three things in life that Touka knows, without a doubt, she won't be able to get used to.

One.

The way Kaneki speaks her name. Touka-chan. Sometimes it comes as a whisper. Sometimes, it takes the shape of a moan. It laughs, groans, hisses and stutters in his mouth, and it reaches out to her when the words are spoken on her skin, when he murmurs her name on her lips, it reverberates throughout her body to the point where her flesh begins to fail her. She'd never stopped herself for a moment to considerate the beauty in her name—if there was any beauty at all—but Kaneki makes her believe that it does, that there is a certain beauty in it that she can't quite perceive yet, but it comes alive whenever he decides to speak, and Touka suddenly realizes that it's not just her name what sounds beautiful now. But everything else.

Two.

When Kaneki kisses her. It starts as a chaste, gentle peak, but it's always him the one who quickly decides to double the bet. For someone who she believes is quite new at kissing, just as she is, he becomes an expert in a matter of days. It's as if his lips were meant for this, as if he was born just to kiss her. She can't get used to the way she always finds his eyes on her lips, even from a generous distance, they're always chasing them, even when they talk, when she speaks words that are too dangerous for others to hear, words about the CCG, and ghouls, and death, and sorrow… he listens, he always listens, but his eyes travel to her lips now and then, unable to contain himself, and kisses her when Touka's words start sounding shaky and fragile.

Three.

The way he looks after taking a shower.

Touka suddenly realizes that the only three things she's unable to get used to are related to Kaneki. In fact, everything that happened in the past couple years is a consequence of his presence in her life, the impact he always had on her, the way he makes her question everything around her, even herself. In any case, she can't regret the feeling when her presence in that large, broken bathroom from the 24th Ward is also a consequence of the drastic change that their relationship had suffered weeks ago. It's almost hard to believe when Touka feels that it's been longer than that; that weeks don't make any justice to the familiarity with which they've been started to treat each other, how flustered cheeks seem less frequent and boldness leads the way they touch, the way they speak, the way they stare at each other. It almost… almost feels as if they are married, but Touka quickly shoves that thought away when her cheeks burn and her heart gives a little tug. Hey, not too fast, you little shit.

Kaneki walks out of the shower with a towel around his hips when Touka is filing her nails, sitting on the sink. Steam puffs out of his skin as he approaches slowly and stands in front of the other sink next to her, rubbing his damp hair with another towel as he speaks. He's been talking for quite some time already, mentioning things Touka can't seem to recall but they're always related to the same boring crap: CCG, lack of food, something about an expedition and a brief mention to the Great Wheel.

Touka continues to file her nails, releasing a soft sigh.

"Just ask Shitty-yama to do it for you, since he's your most beloved and faithful servant. He would lick the floor if you ask," she says, prompting a guilty giggle out of him.

"Don't be mean," he simply replies, and continues to dry his hair with the towel in front of the broken mirror.

However, Touka's eyes rapidly drift away from her nails when they land on him. She's not ashamed to stare, and given the new formality of their relationship, there's nothing to be ashamed about. The muscles of his arms tense when he lifts them up to rub the towel on his hair, the one that gently falls on his eyes and sticks to his forehead, a sight that makes her swallow hard. He likes to take really hot showers, unlike her, who prefers them a little cold. He says hot water helps his muscles unwind, release the throbbing tension of his neck. She can spot the drops trailing over the redness of his shoulders, his chest, the tip of his nose, his hair falls heavy in all directions once he gets rid of the towel and sprays some deodorant all over his body. In silence, Touka bites her lower lip with a faint sigh.

"Are you, uh, free today?" Kaneki suddenly asks as he brushes his hair with a broken comb.

Touka keeps filing her nails, raising a brow.

"What's with the sudden interest? I should be the one asking that question. I barely ever see you anymore since you're so busy," she replies.

Kaneki grimaces in front of the mirror, grabbing some lotion and spreading it on his jaw.

"Ah, y-yeah, about that — "

"I only see you for a minute, when you go to get some coffee and it happens that I'm there too," she complains, not looking at him. "It's like you don't even care about passing by my cell anymore to see how I'm doing."

Her words come off in a tone that makes him realize she's not talking seriously, still, the slight reality behind them grows a strong sense of culpability within him. He's been working a lot, his eye-bags are the proof.

Kaneki sighs, trying to find some sort of stupid excuse.

"I really — "

"We haven't had sex in a week."

Touka speaks so casually about it that Kaneki blurts out a gasp, and the lotion clumsily slips off of his hands and falls onto the ground, the plastic making a boisterous sound that echoes throughout the bathroom. Kaneki gives her a quick look before bending down to grab the lotion, and as soon as he looks up, ready to get up, Touka is pointing out the sharp tip of the nail file against his neck. There's a spark of darkness within her eyes that rapidly makes him forget about his own clumsiness. She has her eyes on him, and there's a brief silence before she decides to speak, still pointing the nail file on his neck as he slowly tries to get up, eyes not leaving her.

"Maybe I'm gonna have to give you a small punishment, for ignoring me the entire week," she whispers slowly.

Then, she sees it. As Kaneki slowly rises up from the ground, as the sharp file on his neck prevents him from moving, she sees that thing within his eyes that Touka is still trying to find a name for. It's as if the natural color of his eyes fades away, and something darker decides to take place inside. Like an ordinary mortal being possessed by a spirit, a nameless corruption, something she's seen many times in the mangas she's been reading lately. And it only happens with her. When both are alone, really, really alone, and there's no one around. It's as if Kaneki suddenly decides to get rid of his shame, to rip off his embarrassment out of his skin.

She can feel the tension in the air. Touka's eyes follow his once he's standing again, looking taller than her.

Kaneki swallows.

"Is that how you speak to a King?"

Her heart gives an instant jerk. He's following.

Touka's lips slightly twitch.

"Is Your Majesty offended?" she mocks.

He doesn't seem to find the strength to answer. Instead, Touka swallows when she feels the palm of his hand on her knee, softly sliding up her skirt to reach her thigh. Their eyes don't leave each other, and just when Touka is about to throw her nail file to the ground and —

"KANEKI-KUN!"

— Tsukiyama's voice ruins the entire mood.

Kaneki jumps out of his place, Touka simply turns her eyes to the door in annoyance. Tsukiyama is outside, not daring to come in, but still screaming his name like a madman.

"MY KING!" he repeats. "Are you done with your bath? Your presence is required in the — "

Kaneki gives an exasperated sigh, now a few steps away from Touka.

"Y-Yes, Tsukiyama. I'm… I'm com — "

"Please hurry! I'll be waiting for you right here!"

Great.

Kaneki groans, and the pink shade is back again on his cheeks. He slightly turns around to look at Touka.

"W-We — "

She rolls her eyes, jumping out of the sink and pushing his back towards the door.

"Go already."

He tries to turn around.

"B-But — "

"I said leave!" she yells, growing angry.

She pushes him towards the exit, Tsukiyama standing against the wall and fixing his bangs with his fingertips. He looks at her when she appears, coming out of the bathroom with a half-naked One-eyed King. He gasps, face wrinkling in terror.

"Kirishima…" He blinks a couple times, looking at her, placing the palm of his hand on his chest. "What… what are you doing there in the b — "

Touka gives him an annoyed expression. Things were started to get fun until this big ass idiot ruined everything.

"I'll let you guess," she sighs, turning around to get inside the bathroom again. "I'm going to take a shower."

She will really need one now.

—o—

Several hours later, having now completely forgotten the incident in the bathroom, Touka returns to her cell with a cup of coffee and ready to resume the last chapter of one of the mangas she's been reading when she stops at the entrance, brows arching slightly at the sight of Kaneki…. sleeping? on her bed, shirtless, and with both arms around the pillow. Despite herself, Touka can't help but feel strangely surprised to see him there. Between the two, it was Touka the one who would visit his cell the most, and finding Kaneki here during the day, in her cell, when he had so many things to do, sent a straight shiver to her heart.

Maybe he did take her words a bit way too seriously back in the bathroom that morning. However, it made her smile to know that no matter the situation, he always ended up listening to her, that he cared about her feelings and desires. What she said back then wasn't entirely a lie; she did miss him, and finding him there, lying so comfortably on her bed… she sighs with a smirk.

Touka walks towards him, placing her cup of coffee on top of the table and climbing up the bed until she's sitting on the back of his waist. Her lips lean down to playfully bite his shoulder and he groans.

"O-Ouch."

She giggles.

"What are you doing here?" her hands travel to his nape, curling her fingers in his skin.

"I was trying…" he gasps, shifting a little. "… to get a nap but it's pointless."

"On my bed?"

The weight of her body on top of him prevents him from shifting around entirely.

"I wanted to see you too, why don't —ah! S-Stop — " he groans a little when she bites his shoulder again.

Touka pulls away, smiling.

"Stay there, idiot, don't move. I'll rub your back."

Kaneki grimaces with his face pressed against the pillow.

"U-Uh, why — "

Touka slightly slaps his shoulder when he tries to turn around.

"I said don't move!"

"Okay, okay!"

He sighs, resting his cheek on the pillow as he feels her fingertips sliding through his spine, making him sigh even harder, and ask himself if he should close his eyes or keep them open, even if he can't see her.

But he can feel her.

Kaneki already realizes that this whole I'll-rub-your-back thing is a terrible, terrible idea. He not only can feel her hands squeezing his shoulder blades, tracing her fingertips over his old scars, his hidden beauty marks, murmuring something about how hard they feel and another bunch of stuff he can't quite process thanks to the feeling of her hips resting on his butt, slightly moving when her arms move, creating a friction that's making him shudder. She's obviously not doing that on purpose… or is she? He can tell, but with Touka is hard to know. She drags her fingers through his spine until she reaches his lower back.

"Did you know…" she says, casually, as her hands add pressure on his lumbar zone. "That ghouls can have erogenous zone's on their bodies?"

Kaneki feels himself growing painfully hard just by the commentary, and his body begs to rock his hips against the mattress, demanding some relief.

Yes.

Yes.

He knows.

"Y-Yeah," he tries to speak, swallowing hard. "W-We learned that in the C—A-Ah…"

He can't even finish when her hands rub down his spine.

"They're where the kakuhou is. So, you should be a little sensitive," her hands squeeze his lower back. "Here, right?"

Touka can't see it, but that dark spark that she saw hours ago in the morning is back. Kaneki decides to quickly turn around, holding her hips so she wouldn't back down, so she would stay still and feel him. Feel his clothed cock pressing against her crotch, feel his impatient hands pushing her down onto him, feeling him.

Kaneki's hands skim up the sides of her legs as she tries to play it off, even more when he travels through her waist until he reaches her back, fingers digging into her shoulder blade.

"And yours?" he whispers, looking at her in the eyes.

She smiles softly, shrugging indifferently as he rubs circles on her skin.

"I'm not really that sensitive there," she explains, looking triumphant.

Kaneki sighs, growing hotter, looking down as his hand passes down her belly and his fingers sink in between her legs, finding her clit above her underwear, the only clothing she's wearing there.

"Mhmm, yeah, you're just sensitive here, aren't you?"

He places two fingers on each side of her clit to start stroking, quickly lifting up his gaze to meet her. She's not smiling anymore, she's not playing anymore. She can't, no when he gets like this. Not when he speaks like that, as he rarely ever does, that deep and husky voice he sometimes employs to speak as a king and makes her feel jealous, jealous that she doesn't get to hear it solely for her, but this time is different.

He's using his is that how you speak to a king? voice, and his lips twitch into a smile when she slightly rocks her hips a little, and takes his hand to get it inside her panties, eager to feel him skin to skin. Kaneki bites his lip as his fingers stroke the slick flesh, warm and intoxicating, and the way she sighs when his other hand gropes her ass makes him shudder. Her nipples harden and raise under the fabric of his shirt, and if it wasn't because his other hand was too busy…

Kaneki takes his hand away and bucks their clothed sexes together, making her close her eyes and rest the palm of her hands on his chest, searching for balance. Her panties feel heavy upon him, darker with her wetness.

Ah, she really missed this.

She rocks her hips in response, feeling his cock hit her center, and Touka's body is just as enthusiastic when Kaneki gets a firm grip of her hips and flips her over so he's on top of her, quickly shifting the roles. Touka gasps, looking a little surprised, but doesn't complain when his lips attack her and his hand goes down to her panties again, quickly slipping them down her legs.

She groans.

"K-Kaneki, don't," Touka's arms weakly fall on each side of her head, his tongue rapidly tracing a path on her stomach. Her eyes fall shut. "T-The manga…"

The sound of his voice against the skin of her belly makes her shiver.

"What about it?" he licks again.

The muscles of Kaneki's shoulders flex when he bends down to lick his way down her thighs.

"I was…" she can't even speak. "I was going to r-read but you — "

"Don't stop because of me," he suggests, the last flick of his tongue on her stomach catching her attention. She looks down at him and finds a mischievous smile on his lips. He stares back before going all the way down. "Read if you want to."

Was he crazy?

Touka swallows hard when he kisses her thighs, and grabs her legs to spread them wide open, one of them resting on top his shoulder.

"B-But — "

"You were complaining about not getting enough attention this week," he whispers against he clit, the heat of his voice forcing her to gasp loudly. "So let the king take care of his queen for a little."

Oh god.

Did he… did he actually said…

Touka moans from both embarrassment and pleasure as Kaneki encloses his mouth around her entire cunt and her hands cover her burning face. She hums when he starts lapping hungrily, when he sucks at her clit and hoists her thighs over his shoulders, tongue going deeper, faster, hips moving at the rhythm of his mouth. He's so good at this, so good, it feels so good when his lips gently suck at her clit and two fingers easily enter inside of her, when he moans against her lips and she can feel his deep voice vibrating inside her body, reaching places she never thought possible. Her fingers grip at his hair, pulling roughly, lips moaning loudly.

"D-Do it faster, come on," she urges, looking down at him, the sounds his tongue delivers.

His thumb travels to her engorged clit and her expression betrays her, lips part and gasp a broken moan, her voice whispering a sound that barely resembles Kaneki's name. Tasting Touka like this always felt like the first time, the same scent, the same flavor, he already knows her moves, the way she writhes when he sucks at her clit, the way her hips undulate when he has his fingers inside of her and she wants him to pump faster, to go deeper.

"Keep rubbing," she whispers, moaning against the back of her hand. "There. Right there."

And he does. He does.

His fingers thrust in and out. His tongue abandons her core for a moment to ascend way to her stomach, reaching out his other hand to push her shirt up and run his tongue along the circumference of her nipple, taking a bud into his mouth and sucking softly as he adds a third finger inside of her, feeling her hands wrap around his neck now that she has him closer. Kaneki smiles against her lips when she tries to kiss him, her walls squeezing him deeper, scissoring his fingers to stretch her out even more and pressing his thumb hard on her clit, teasing.

He's always teasing.

Kaneki grows even harder when he gets a slight sight of her body. The rosy shade of her hardened pebbles, the strands of hair splayed in all directions, the wetness of her cunt covering his entire hand… she's a mess; a beautiful, gasping, heartbreaking mess.

Touka comes in a moan that Kaneki has to suppress with his mouth because it's way too loud for this hour of the day, they wouldn't usually do it before midnight, way too anxious to be heard. He can't wait, though. Until tonight. He can wait until they're completely alone in this room so he can hear every single one of her whimpers, so he doesn't have to swallow them, to keep them locked inside her being. He wants to hear her, he always wants to hear her.

She comes so sweetly in his hand that she finds him moaning too. She's still whimpering against the back of her hand when he retrieves his, and leads his fingers to his mouth to lick them one by one, eyes not drifting away from a Touka that shudders, and gasps, and tries to recover all the things he's taken from her. He waits for her to gain her breath, killing some time by grasping her breast and sucking at the bud one more time before going up and fix her hair, kissing her on the lips.

"Is that enough for the Queen?" he asks.

Touka smiles with her eyes closed, and blurts out a shaky and tired giggle.

"Yeah…"

He nods softly, trying to lift up her shirt to kiss her chest again.

"Good," he sucks on her skin. "Because I'm still not do — "

This time, she laughs harder.

"Oh, yes, you are, Your Majesty," the way she says it doesn't sound sensual anymore. She's now mocking him. Her hand pushes his face to one side as she fixes her shirt, trying to sit up.

Kaneki has never looked so confused in his entire life.

"W-What — "

Touka looks at him. He's back into the dork mode.

"You got what you wanted when you came here, now it's time for you to leave and do all the boring things you do when you're not around me," she explains, leaning towards the table to grab her manga. "See this? Gotta finish it today. My coffee is already cold because of you."

Kaneki blinks a couple times, eyes traveling from that stupid… horrible… cruel manga, and back to her. But there's cruelty in her eyes too.

Maybe I'm gonna have to give you a small punishment, for ignoring me the entire week.

W-Wait…

Kaneki frowns, extremely disappointed.

"B-But — "

Touka gets up from the bed, pushing him all the way towards the exit.

"Go, go, the Queen has a busy schedule too."

The devastated expression he gives her when she closes the curtain of the cell right in front of his face makes her heart flutter furiously.

She loves to torture him.

—o—

When midnight arrives, Kaneki realizes he won't be able to sleep at all.

He's still hard, he's still with his mind somewhere else, a place way too close to Touka's room. He didn't even have the chance to… to… he groans, turning to the other side of the bed, covering himself with some blankets and trying to put his mind at ease, but it's impossible. Maybe he deserved it? For not giving her what she wanted as much as she wanted it? Well, it wasn't like he didn't want it too, but —

His inner conflicts prevent him from hearing the cell being open, and the steps that quickly increase their speed once he feels something heavy fall upon him, and he almost screams until that fragrance hits him hard and the sight of Touka-chan trying to get on top of the bed send shivers down his spine. He blinks at her, way too shocked to even say anything at all.

"Hi," she whispers cheerfully, falling on his side and grabbing the blankets to find shelter.

She always looks so cute like this. Sneaking into his room at night like a child, hiding from the entire world, wearing his clothes—although, to be honest, he prefers her wearing nothing at all—and smiling softly. Kaneki sighs, feeling a little too excited again.

"What are you — "

She hushes him with a kiss. He feels her leg enclosing his entire hip, trying to drag him closer to her body, and he's unable to resist. Touka smiles when she feels his hands grope her ass, making her laugh.

"Are you angry?"

He doesn't stop kissing her.

"I should be," he mutters.

Touka laughs again, trying to pull away so she can see his face.

"Sorry, but that manga needed to be finished."

Kaneki gasps, now he's angry.

"Touka-chan, seriously, I can't believe you're reading that."

Touka giggles, touching his angry face. He looks so cute.

"Why? It's really good."

"It's… god, it's not, okay?" he complains. "Pupa is not good, how can you even like that."

"How can you say that? You haven't even read it."

"I don't need to read it to know it's bad literature."

Touka rolls her eyes.

"It's a very educational manga, I'm learning great stuff," she explains.

Kaneki frowns.

"Oh, really? Like what?"

In the middle of the dark, Kaneki sees that spark in her eyes too. She smiles, and leans closer to him until she's biting his jaw.

"To eat better," she whispers, and then her mouth travels to his lips, taking his lower one into her teeth. "Do you want me to eat you?"

Touka doesn't know where bolder Kaneki has gone right now, but his cheeks dye in a deep, crimson red.

"T-Touka-chan!"

She smiles.

"I'll spend the night here if you do something for me first," she announces.

Touka can tell that he's nervous. She hasn't even told him yet, and he's already nervous.

Kaneki swallows, staring at her face in the dark.

"U-Uh, what is it…"

After a pause, Touka leans softly until her lips caress his ear.

Slowly, she whispers.

"Talk dirty to me."