A/N Alright, this chapter is much shorter than the other two, but what can I say? When I write for Alfred, there's not much to write.
I expected a slightly different reaction out of Matthew. You know, something like "Wow, Alfred! How heroic!" but all he did was stare at me for a moment, clutching that bear of his.
"Oh," he said after a moment, "funny, I was almost killed by one." he continued, taking a pretzel out of the bag and giving it to his bear. I did a (very heroic) spit take, spewing the lemony beverage over the floor.
"Alfred! You're going to have to clean that up, you know." I ignored him, trying to process what he had said moments before. Surely it wasn't Artie...?
"Y-you were almost killed by a vampire?" I repeated.
"That's what I said."
My amazing brotherly instinct kicked in. "Ohmygawd, Mattie! Are you alright?"
He checked his pulse. "Hmm... not dead yet. I suppose I'm fine."
"Was he about this tall" I held my hand up to what I presumed was Arthur's height "with really thick eyebrows?" I asked desperately. I really didn't want it to be Artie.
"No. He was taller than me, and I couldn't see his face very clearly. Did your guy smell like wine and baguettes?" he asked, seeming way to calm for an almost-victim.
"No, he smelled like tea and scones." I said with relief. "He's pretty cool, actually. He's sort of a bitter ol' guy, but he can find Waldo in ten seconds flat! Although he calls him Wally..."
"So I take it you don't want to kill him?" Mattie asked.
"Nope! As it turns out, I'd rather be friends with him." I said, as earnestly as possible.
"I see. So does that mean you've giving up on this whole monster-slaying thing?" Matthew asked hopefully.
I laughed. "No way, Jose! I still hafta kill that dude who attacked you! Do you really think I'm letting anyone who tried to hurt my little bro get off easy? Need I remind you who the hero is? I don't want anyone else hurt."
"Except for the vampire.'
"Yup!"
Matthew shook his head. "Your reasoning confuses me, Alfred." he sighed, leaning back on the pillows.
"Thanks."
"It's not a compli- never mind. Tell me about the vampire you met."
At last, something I was dying to talk about. "His name's Arthur Kirkland, and he's, like, really British! He drinks weak tea, and he calls me things like 'git' and stuff, and his accent is really cool! He doesn't know that I know that he's a vampire, but he really doesn't do much to hide the fact; It's like he thinks I'm stupid or something! I only noticed when I went to fix my hair in the window, and saw that he didn't have a reflection! It took all of my heroic restraint not to freak out and heroically beat him up." I said all of that in one breath, like the hero I am, so gasped and began panting, trying to regulate my breathing.
Matthew looked at me for a minute before replying. "Oh. He sounds nice."
"That's all? Really? Whatever. The show's back on and I don't want to miss a thing!" I said, turning up the volume and focusing on the TV.
Later that night, or early the next morning, I went to bed with a bag of Doritos, pondering how different vampires could be. I woke up around noon, and went to ask Mattie to make me some pancakes. Strange thing was, I couldn't find him. Well, it wasn't that strange.
"Mattie? I'm huuungry..." I whined(heroically).
I found a note on the table, scribbled on one of those notepads they leave on the nightstand which you never use.
"Alfred-
Going to lunch with friends. If you're hungry, there's a pizzeria a few doors down.
-Matthew"
"Pizza it is, then." I said to no one, putting on my jacket and heading out.