Brown 11

How I Met your Mother & That's so Raven Crossover

Scene 1: Kids 1 introduction

TED: Kids! This is the story of how I met your Mother

Scene 2: Mclarance Bar

BARNEY: TED TED TED! Hot blonde 5:00. Here I'll introduce you

TED: Barney seriously we're supposed to be waiting for Lily, Marshall, and Robin

BARNEY: Ya see Ted… This is why you're not getting laid. You have to shoot your shot when the time comes.

SCENE 3: Marshall and Lily

[Lily and Marshall walk in]

LILY: Seriously Marshall you couldn't even hold the fucking door open for me… some fiance you are!

MARSHALL: See this is exactly why we aren't married

LILY: Yeah because your dumb ass doesnt know how to treat your Fiance.

MARSHALL: Yeah well maybe if you weren't so damn crazy we could actually get along for once

TED: woah woah woah! Marshall Lily here are your drinks can we just sit down and relax please

BARNEY: Gosh do those two ever stop arguing… clearly neither of them are getting laid enough

TED: seriously Barney that's just inappropriate

LILY: [From a distance] IT'S TRUE!

Scene 4: Robin

[Robin walks in]

ROBIN: Hey guys! How's everyone doing. I just got back from the News Station and it was amazing my boss absolutely loves me and he just couldn't stop talking about me to everyone on the set and….

TED: Robin do you ever shut the hell up? No one cares to hear about you every two seconds

ROBIN: Oh really Ted that's not what you were saying when you would confess your love for me

TED: yeah and lemme tell ya that was the biggest mistake of my life wasting time with your ass

BARNEY: Okay clearly everyone at this table needs to get laid… I mean except for me I just got some this morning and will be getting more in about 2 hours and 24 minutes.

LILY: Must be nice.

MARSHALL: Bitch.

SCENE 5: Love at first sight

[Raven walks in]

TED: Who is that…..

BARNEY: TED TED! We can go up to her play it cool and play a game I like to call…. "Haaaaave you met Ted"

TED: No Barney no

BARNEY: Ted this is exactly what I mean you are never going to get laid.

[Robin gives Ted and Barney a disgusted look]

ROBIN: She's not even all that… I've seen better

TED: Robin shut up… Barney look at her you can't just approach a girl like that you have to have a game plan.

[Robin rolls her eyes]

BARNEY: You're right... here I'll just be straight up and tell her you need to get laid!

TED: BARNEY! *Ted pushes Barney off of the booth"

SCENE 5: RAVEN

TED: Hi…. "stares at Raven"

RAVEN: Hello...

*Ted continues to stare at Raven*

RAVEN: ummm… is there something I can help you with or were you just going to keep staring at me

TED: Hi yeah no ummm my name is Ted. I come her a lot and I've never seen you before.

RAVEN: Yeah I actually just move here a month ago from San Francisco, California I live right upstairs and figured I've been meaning to come check out the bar down here

TED: OH COOL! I actually live right upstairs too. Mclarance is kind of a hangout for my friends and I. There right over there.

[Marshall, Lily, Robin all look over and wave]

[Barney gets up off of the ground and flips off Ted]

TED: That's Barney I have no idea how he ended up on the ground but why don't you come over and meet everyone!

RAVEN: Sure why not! I'm new to New York so I might as well meet some people.

SCENE 6: RAVEN MEETS THE GANG

[Ted and Raven walk over to the table that Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Barney are sitting at]

TED: You guys this is Raven… Raven that's Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Barney.

[Ted pulls up a chair at the edge of the booth for Raven to sit]

RAVEN: Hey Y'all!

ROBIN: So like… who are you?

TED: Robin don't be such a bitch huh? And if you recall I just introduced her

[Robin rolls her eyes and begins to stare at Raven]

LILY: Hi Raven it's very nice to meet you as Ted said my name is Lily and this is my fiance Marshall

RAVEN: Very nice to meet you guys

BARNEY: HA! Yeah just give it a couple more minutes all they do is fucking argue mostly because Lily never gets laid

[Raven shoots Barney a surprised and disgusted look]

MARSHALL: Ya know Barney I would really appreciate it if you didn't make comments about me and Lily's sex life to people we just meet or at all…. Thanks

LILY: it's not like he's lying

[Robin still staring viciously at Raven]

ROBIN: So Raven… what brings you here?

RAVEN: I actually got offered a job here as a news anchor for Metro News 1

ROBIN: EXCUSE ME!

RAVEN: ummm i'm sorry?

[Raven looks at Robin confused]

ROBIN: I'M THE NEWS ANCHOR FOR METRO NEWS 1 [Robin yells with an annoyed tone]

BARNEY: hahahaha.. This just got really interesting

TED: Fuck….

RAVEN: Well…. Um this has been interesting Ted I will catch up with you later?

TED: Yes of course!

[Raven exits the bar]

SCENE 7: ROBIN AND TED

[Marshall, Lily, and Barney all look at each other in shock]

ROBIN: Finally! I thought she'd never leave

TED: Robin may I have a word with you please?

ROBIN: ummm Ted our friends are here can we just enjoy everyone company please?

[Marshall, Lily, and Barney continue to look at each other in silence]

BARNEY: actually I just spotted a hot blonde waking past right outside the bar…. Soooo catch ya guys later!

[Barney storms out of the bar]

LILY: Oh! Marshall honey we have to go water that plant!

MARSHALL: Oh yes! That's right we have to go now!

[Lily and Marshall storm out of the bar]

[Ted angrily stares at Robin]

[Robin smiles at Ted]

TED: Are you fucking serious Robin what is your problem?

ROBIN: Woahhhh Ted. What are you talking about?

TED: You always have some type of problem with every woman I introduce to the gang and I have never said anything before but I am tired of it! I have confessed the feelings that I used to have for you before and you turned me down and I moved on so stop trying to ruin my potential fucking relationships by acting like a self-centered conceited bitch!

ROBIN: Ted I….

TED: NO ROBIN! I am tired of it get over yourself!

[Ted angrily walks out of the bar]

[Robin begins to cry and walks out of the bar]

SCENE 8: TED AND RAVEN

[Ted sees Raven walking out of the elevator]

TED: HEY RAVEN!

RAVEN: Oh hey Ted!

TED: You live on the 3rd floor?

RAVEN: Yes and seeing that you're on this floor i'm guessing you do too?

TED: Yes actually I live right there in 323 with Lily and Marshall. Oh! And i'm really sorry about earlier Robin can come off a bit harsh at times but once you get to know her she's pretty cool

RAVEN: OH NICE! I live right across 323 in 333 so I guess I'll be seeing a lot of you guys and don't worry I didn't take it personal.

TED: Yeah I guess you will!

RAVEN: Nice. Well let me bring these groceries in I'll see you later?

TED: Yeah! Hey Lily and Marshall are home Lily is working on her paintings and Marshall and I are chillin watching TV if you wanted to come hang out

RAVEN: I would love to! But can I take a raincheck I have to meet with one of the interns over at the News Station and kinda show him around teach him the ropes and what not.

TED: OH NICE! Well whenever you're free you know where I live

[Ted laughs awkwardly]

RAVEN: okay Ted see ya later!

TED: SEE YA!

SCENE 8: RAVEN VS. ROBIN

[Raven walks in Metro News 1 and sees Robin sitting with Raven's Intern]

ROBIN: oh hey Raven… [Robin says in a nervous tone]

[Raven rolls her eyes at Robin then looks over and smiles at her intern]

RAVEN: Hello! My name is Raven you must be my intern Jaron

JARON: Yes! Hi Raven thanks a lot for doing this for me ya know showing me around and everything

RAVEN: Yeah of course it's my pleasure!

[Robin still sitting there looking at Jaron and Robin nervously]

ROBIN: I was just telling Jaron about my days doing internships and how excited I was

[Raven gives Robin an uneasy look]

RAVEN: Hey girl mind if I talk to you for a second?

ROBIN: Umm yeah sure

RAVEN: Jaron why don't you go talk to Damien our camera guy and let him know you're with me! He's super cool ask him whatever questions you have

JARON: Okay!

[Jaron fast walks away from Robin and Raven]

[Raven immediately turns her head back towards Robin giving her a nasty look]

RAVEN: Look bitch I don't know what your deal is or what problem you have with me but I would suggest you keep ya little attitude and smart ass mouth to yourself. I didnt wanna embarrass you in front of your friends but if I need to best believe I will. Understood?

[Robin looks at Raven in shock]

ROBIN: HA! Who the fuck are you talking to? First of all you just got here so don't think you're all fucking big time and run shit. Understand?

RAVEN: I should beat your ass but considering the fact that we work together and are currently at work I'm going to chill out and walk this way before I rip your damn hair out. Leave me out of your drama bitch.

[Robin walks out of the news station angrily]

SCENE 9: THE GANG

LILY: Soooo are we going to talk about this Robin and Raven situation and what a bitch Robin was being to Raven at Mclarance?

TED: Yeah I just talked to Robin about it actually she lives right across from us in 333 but anyways she said she didn't take it personal.

LILY: Ted that's not what I meant…. Robin has been acting like this to any girl you bring around since you guys broke up she clearly still has feelings for you…

TED: Lil I have moved on from that she didn't want the marriage and the kids and on top of that she's a self centered bitch as we all know

MARSHALL: The real question is why she still comes around

BARNEY: I mean she's got a nice ass and a nice face to look at when Lily is not around so.

MARSHALL: Seriously Barney!?

LILY: shit at least someone gives me compliments. But I mean Robin is our friend and we have built up a relationship with her these past 8 years as a group

TED: Yes Lil you have a point but all she's been doing has been causing problems

LILY: Yes Ted… for you and your love life but Robin has always been there for me when I needed her as a friend.

TED: Yeah I guess

[Robin storms in the door]

BARNEY: Ohp! Speak of the devil… Oh hey Robin!

ROBIN: shut the hell up Barney. Look you guys I'm sorry Ted especially to you the way I acted was unacceptable but I tried giving a friendly vibe to Raven and got shut down so.

TED: Robin it would've never been a problem if you didn't make it one in the first place

ROBIN: You know what fine choose her side then you barely even fucking know her

TED: I'm not choosing her side Robin! Did you not listen to what I told you at Mclarance!? You're being fucking ridiculous.

[Robin starts crying and runs out of the door]

LILY: Ted that was a little harsh…

TED: You know what someone had to tell her the truth Lily!

SCENE 10: THE PHONE CALL

[Ted calls Raven]

[Raven picks up the phone]

TED: Hey Raven you busy?

RAVEN: Hey! Just finishing up my day at the station with my intern I should be done in about 30 minutes what's up!?

TED: Wanted to see if you could meet up to talk

RAVEN: Yeah of course meet you at Mclarence in an hour?

TED: Perfect sounds great I will see you then!

RAVEN: Great!

SCENE 11: TED CONFESSES

*Ted walks into Mclarance and sits at the booth*

*Raven walks in and smiles at Ted then walks over to sit at the booth*

TED: Hey Raven!

RAVEN: Hey Ted! So… what's up?

TED: Well I just wanted to talk to you about the whole situation with Robin.

RAVEN: okay.. Go for it

TED: So Robin and I actually used to be a couple and we broke up because we weren't looking for the same things in a relationship, as we all know Robin is all about herself and really just wasn't looking for a marriage or kids so because of this we constantly had disagreements… I guess what i'm trying to say is ever since Robin and I broke up she attacks any girl that I bring around the group and you just happen to be the only one whos put up with her shit for this long.

RAVEN: Ted it's only been a week…

TED: Exactly

*Raven and Ted both laugh*

TED: But yeah I'm really sorry about all of this

RAVEN: Oh no! No need to be sorry. She clearly still loves you… totally understandable

TED: Well… uh I actually have my eye on someone else

*Ted uncontrollably stares mesmerized by Raven*