MORE FAN MAIL (ALMOST)

Tinker Bell and her friends have gathered once again in the pine forest to shoot a follow up to their Fan Mail commercials. Clank is operating the camera, Terence is operating the lights and Bobble is managing the boom microphones.

"Hi, everyone," Tinker Bell begins. "With the release of The Pirate Fairy we've decided to take more fan letters and answer them on Disney Channel. The gang's all here and later we're going to have a special treat. Zarina is going to join us. Isn't that great?"

"Yeah! And this time there won't be any problems from Vidia," Fawn adds. "Isn't that right Vid?"

All the girls turn and look towards the fast flyer. To prevent Vidia from causing the same problems as last time she has been tied to a sapling and her mouth is gagged.

"Mmmmpmmmmmppmmmppph!" she protests while struggling to get out of her bonds.

Tinker Bell and her friends giggle. "Okay, Vidia," Tinker Bell tells her, "we'll untie you if you promise to behave this time."

"Ummmphh!" she growls. Vidia sighs and agrees, "Mmkmmm."

"Okay, but first you have to do something for us," Tinker Bell amends. "You have to give Clank a kiss."

"Ummmm!?"

"Uh huh. Full, on the lips, with tongue!"

"Ummm mmm, ummm mmm," Vidia mumbles through her gag. She shakes her head and to tries break out of her bonds.

"Nope, sorry, it's the only way we'll let you out," Tink says. She crosses her arms, taps her foot and quirks an eyebrow at her. One corner of her mouth curls up in a smirk.

"I'll get the camera," Rosetta chimes in excitedly. "Go ahead, Clank. Give your best girl a big kiss."

Vidia squeals in terror through her gag. "MMMMMMMMMMMM!" Her eyes become as wide as saucers while she struggles to escape the stem twine holding her to the sapling.

"Oh, I've been waiting years for this," Clank tells her nervously as he walks up to the purple clad flyer. "I've always had a soft spot in my heart for you, Ms. Vidia. You're so pretty and… and… witty and you're so very talented."

Vidia yells and screams trying to tell him to get away, but it comes out as loud, screaming mumbles and muffled sounds. She wriggles and bounces and sways and shifts to pull away from him as he steps closer to her. The ropes which bind her to the sapling are tied too well and she can't move from her spot.

"I'm so happy you agreed to kiss me, Ms. Vidia," Clank says. "I didn't know you thought about me in the same way I think about you."

"Ummmm!? Ummm mmm, Ummm mmm," Vidia answers, shaking her head no.

Clank turns to the others. "I thought you said she wanted me to kiss her?"

"Oh, Clank, she's just playin' hard to get," Rosetta tells him. "All us girls do that. It's how we get men to prove how much they love us."

The fat tinker sparrow man gives Rosetta a strangle look. It takes him a moment, but he quickly gets what she is telling him and laughs. "Oh, I get it. She wants me to kiss her."

"Yeah, that's it," Fawn confirms.

"Oooh, go ahead, Clank," Silvermist prods him. "I want to see her reaction to being kissed by the man she loves most."

Iridessa elbows the water talent, stifling a laugh.

"What's so funny?" Sil asks her.

"Never mind, Sil," Dessa replies. "Let's just watch."

Vidia glares at Tinker Bell and the others. She mumbles something at them that sounds like "I'll get you for this," but it was hard for anyone to be certain.

The other girls giggle in delight as they stare.

"Clank! Don't forget the…," Bobble makes a squirting motion into his mouth with his fingers.

"Oh, right." Clank draws out a small bottle of mint spray and squirts some into his mouth. Vidia just makes muffled shouts realizing just how close she is to getting kissed by the one guy she dislikes the most. Clank puts the spray bottle away and puckers his lips in anticipation. Tinker Bell walks over and unties the gag. She pulls it away and Clank plants his lips right on Vidia's.

"MMMMMMPPPHHHHPPMMMPPHPHPHPMMMMMMPHPHHPHPMPPHHHHHMMP…!" Clank kisses her and slides his tongue in her mouth. He tussles and plays with her tongue as she tries desperately to keep her tongue away from his. He keeps his eyes close, but Vidia keeps hers open in wide eyed terror.

When the kiss ends, Clank has turn beet red and giggles.

Vidia, not so much. "YYEEEAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH! BLAH! BLAH! PTOOEY! OH, HIS TONGUE TOUCHED MINE. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO VIOLATED IN MY-. Wait."

Tinker Bell starts snickering. The other girls ring out in peals of laughter. "What's wrong, Vidia? Was it something you 'ate'?"

The other girls fall down, laughing even harder. Tinker Bell begins to untie Vidia and adds, "This is what you get for pulling that nasty prank on me last time."

Freed from her bonds Vidia smirks and announces, "Oh, no, Tinker Bell. I should be thanking you."

"Huh?" Tink replies.

"Who knew that Clank here was such a great kisser," Vidia says, a plan formulating in her head. "In fact, he is nothing like I thought. He doesn't smell, his hands are smooth and his touch really sends tingles up and down my wings."

"I do?" Clank replies, scratching his head in confusion.

"Oh yes you do, lover boy," Vidia insists. "Now pucker up for momma." She leaps into his arms and plants a huge kiss on him. Clank laughs, feeling like he never has before.

"Thanks, Miss Vidia."

"We're officially dating now, Clankie-poo," she says. "It's just Vidia."

"Clankie-poo?" Tink and the other girls say in unison, all of them feeling a little sick to their stomachs.

"In fact, why wait," Vidia says. "I want you right now!" She rips off his tunic, revealing his huge belly. Then she pushes him to the ground, jumps on top of him and starts to smooch him aggressively.

"Whoa! That wasn't supposed to happen," Fawn says, totally freaked out.

"TAKE ME NOW, CLANK," Vidia shouts. "I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE HOW MUCH WE'RE IN LOVE!"

"What?!" Tinker Bell shrieks. "No! You can't do that! Not out here. This is for kids, not a porn flick."

"That's it!" Vidia yells excitedly. "Rosetta, turn that camera over here. Clank and I are going to make an all-out porn movie and charge people to see it on the internet."

"We are?" Clank asks.

"Oh, yes we are," Vidia says, starting to undo her blouse.

Clank pushes her back. "Uh, Vidia. I don't know anything about making a foreign film. I don't even speak a second language."

"Not foreign, porn," Vidia corrects.

"Well, I can't speak that language, either," Clank answers. "Why don't we just take it slow?"

Vidia's gleeful look turns sour. "Are you? Are you breaking up with me?"

"NO! No, but I think we should take it easy," Clank says, trying to explain himself.

She gasps. "You're dumping me aren't you?" Vidia begins to pout. "It's that new art talent fairy, isn't it? You think she's prettier than me."

"No, I think you're wonderf…,"

"Don't sugar coat it!" Vidia screams, acting enraged. "You're cheating on me! You two timing, backstabbing, no good, lecherous scum! I'm going to pound you into tinker jelly!"

"Clank, RUN!" Bobble shouts.

Vidia balls up her fist and swings to punch him. Clank dodges, but just barely. He scurries out from under her and flies off, his wings flapping as hard as he can make them.

"Come back here!" Vidia shouts at him furiuosly. She bolts after him, chasing the frightened sparrow man around the pine forest. She shakes her fist at him and yells, "Come here and take your medicine like a man!"

Clank yells in fear as he tries to outpace the fast flyer. Tinker Bell and her friends just look in stunned confusion. Finally, Tink sighs and throws up her arms in defeat. "CUT!" she yells. "That's it, I'm done with this fan mail thing. Let's all just go home."

~O~

~O~

Some distance away, Clank ducks behind a tree to hide from Vidia. She zips around the same tree trunk and finds him hiding there. "There you are, Clank."

"Well?"

Vidia peaks back around the tree trunk. "You were terrific! They bought every bit of it. Ha-ha what a great prank. I can't believe you sold Tinker Bell on the idea of tying me up so you could kiss me. Brilliant work."

"Thanks! Oh, I had so much fun, Ms. Vidia," Clank tells her. "I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable. Y'know, when I kissed you."

"Nope. It really was a great kiss. You're nothing like I expected."

Vidia and Clank kept laughing as they watched Tinker Bell and her friends console each other. "I almost feel sorry for Tinker Bell. Almost."

"Uh…, Ms. Vidia. I wanted to ask you something," Clank began, stumbling over his words and looking worried.

"What is it, Clank?"

"Well…, I was wondering…, well, would…, would you be my date to the Winter Festival in January?" he asked. "You can say no if you want."

Vidia was taken aback by his request. She looked at him. Clank held his head low, almost as if in shame for asking her that question. She smiled. "Yeah, Clank. I'd love to." She then gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Really?"

"No!"

"Oh. It's okay. A pretty fast flyer like you wouldn't want to be seen with a fat, ugly tinker like me," he said, looking heartbroken. "I did have fun today."

"Clank. I was just kidding. I would love to be your date." She kissed him, pleasantly on the lips. "But no grabbing my butt."

"Don't worry. I won't. I'll be most respectful."

"Clank?"

"Yes?"

"Don't ever change."

"I won't."

I hope you enjoyed this new chapter for FAN MAIL! Thanks for reading.