TTommen stood in front of Joffrey's body alongside his mother. They had dressed the dead king in gilded armor. The visor of the helm was closed, but the candles reflected softly off the gold. The cunt looked like a king even in a death. Sadly, he didn't smell like one.
"Your brother is dead." His grandfather stated as he walked towards Tommen.
"Hmm… thought he was sleeping." Tommen replied but immediately regretted his joke when he met Tywin's green eyes. He's even more terrifying in person.
Tywin continued. "Do you know what that means?"
"I'll become king."
"Yes, you'll become king. What kind of king do you think you'll be?" Lord Tywin asked him.
"Don't know… but one thing I know for sure is that I'll be a better king than Joffrey." Tommen answered truthfully although his mother shifted uncomfortably for a second.
"Hm, I think so as well. You've got the right temperament for it." Tywin agreed. He actually agreed. "But what makes a good king? Hmm? What is a king's single most important quality?"
"This is hardly the place or the time." For once I agree with my mother since the fuckery in Joffrey's wedding.
"Wisdom."
"Yes!" Tywin said in surprise and pride. His mother seemed to be surprised by his answer also. "Yes. But what is wisdom? Hmm?"
"The first step to wisdom is knowing that you know nothing." Tommen answered before his grandfather could continue. His green eyes seemed full of pride at that moment. Thank you, Socrates.
"Yes! A wise king knows what he knows and what he doesn't." And I know a great deal more than anyone in this world. "A wise young king listens to his counselors and heeds their advice until he comes of age. The wisest of kings continue to listen to them long afterwards. Your brother was not a wise king. Your brother was not a good king. If he had been, perhaps he'd still be alive."
They started to move up the stairs of the Great Sept of Baelor. "Now, as the king, you will have to marry. Do you understand why?"
"To further the family line."
"Yes!" Man, Tywin seemed to be glowing at me. It made me uncomfortable and proud at the same time. "Do you know how that happens?"
"Yes." Now, this was getting weird.
"Yes, but has anyone explained the details to you?" Even weirder.
"Yes." I pray to the seven, the old gods, the Lord of the Light etc. to not have a sex-ed with Tywin Lannister.
And here comes the saviour, Ser Jaime fucking Lannister... aka Dad? "How are you?"
"My brother is dead and my uncle along with his wife are getting trialed for the death of that said brother. So, I'd say I'm fine." He answered and Jaime gave him the most perplexed look. Tywin and he continued their walk outside.
Wait, doesn't Jaime and Cersei fuck right after? "You seem a little bit unwell. Do you need to go to the maester?"
"No. But there is a problem I have to talk with you about." Tommen told Tywin as they headed towards the Red Keep.
"What is it?"
"I'm afraid, I don't do well with a sword. So I would like to spend the days until the trial learning to fight." Tommen requested. Tommen apparently knew the basics but he was still novice at fighting.
"Hmm, I agree. A king should know how to fight. Ser Boros sha-"
Tommen interrupted Tywin before he could finish. "I already have someone on mind."
"Who?"
"Brienne of Tarth." Tommen answered.
"Brienne Tarth? She's a woma-" Tywin started to rebuke that notion but got interrupted again.
"She's ten times the knight compared to any of the kingsguard." Tommen argued and stood in defense of Brienne.
Tywin stared at him hard but then let out a sigh. "Very well. Your lessons won't be held in public."
"Didn't plan to either way."
Tommen stood in front of a cell but not at Brienne's cell as he had claimed to his grandfather. He's going to find out either way. He was in front of his uncle's cell. He opened the door to find Tyrion Lannister sitting on his bed. His uncle's mismatched eyes met his own green eyes.
"Nephew?"
"No, it's me Joffrey. Here to have my revenge." Tommen jested as he sat down.
"I didn't expect you to be here." Tyrion admitted as Tommen lighted the candles.
"I didn't expect for you to smell like shit but here we stand." He replied as he tossed Tyrion a wineskin filled with Tyrion's favorite drink.
Tyrion drank deeply before replying. "Here we stand... You know those are the words of House Mormont. I actually met a Mormont."
"Yes, I know. Lord Commander Jeor Mormont." Tommen acknowledged and Tyrion nodded dumbly.
"You still haven't asked me the question." Tyrion stated as he took another swig.
"Which one is that?" Tommen feigned ignorance as he got up.
"Did I kill Jofrrey?" Tyrion answered as he emptied the entire wineskin.
"Why would I need to answer a question when I already know the answer?" He questioned as opened the door.
"What is the answer then?" Tyrion said uncertain.
"You didn't." And he closed the door leaving a baffled but also a joyous Tyrion behind.
Tommen met his kingsguard Balon Swann and motioned to go further down the dungeons. He finally stood in front of Brienne of Tarth's cell. He entered and found the TV show version of Brienne standing looking from the windows. She turned and immediately bowed when she noticed him. "Your Grace."
"Lady Brienne, it is an honor to meet one of the greatest fighters in the Seven Kingdoms." Tommen greeted her and Brienne turned a bit red by the compliment.
"I, thank you for the compliment, Your Grace. I also offer my sincerest condolences." Brienne told as she kept her head bowed a bit.
"I have a request for you, Lady Brienne." He told Brienne. "I want to ask of you to teach me to fight."
Brienne was taken back as her blue eyes widened in shock but she quickly regained herself. "I'm sorry, Your Grace, but I'm afraid I must decline for I swore an oath to Lady Catelyn Stark to keep her daughters safe."
"And you will do so. This is a mere front for you to get out of your cells. Although, it's also quite beneficial for me also because well… I'm a shit fighter." Tommen reassured Brienne.
"Then I… accept." Brienne finally agreed.
"Then let's get the show rolling."
His ass still hurt. Goddamn you, Brienne of Tarth! She wasn't easy at him at all. She told him that by this age she was three times better than him so they now would train three times more. Tommen also remembered her say "In terms of talent you're like your fa-uncle. Good save. And in terms of hard work… you're rivaling me." That single compliment did his day.
It was the middle of the knight and he was staring at the stars from his balcony. His clothes were very uncomfortable. Hopefully by tomorrow the outfit he had prepared was ready. He then lit some candles at his desk and sat down. Ser Pounce, the most electrifying cat in the Seven Kingdoms, sat on his lap.
Suddenly the door opened. "Ser Pounce, protect your king and attack the heathen!" Tommen ordered in jest as Ser Pounce went to attack the intruder. Which by his calculations of Ser Loras being the kingsguard tonight, was Margaery Tyrell.
His theory was confirmed when he heard the chuckling of a girl. "Lady Margaery, I must ask how you passed Ser Loras Tyrell?"
Tommen heard footsteps approaching him and soon in the light appeared Margaery of House Tyrell. She held a devious smile as she approached him. "Ser Loras."
"I shall pardon Ser Loras for I know the bane of all brothers is their sisters." Tommen joked as Margaery let out a chuckle. "I really didn't expect visitors in the middle of the night."
"I'm not a visitor, Your Grace. Word has it I'm to be your bride." Margaery Tyrell said as she sat near him. More infuriating was that there was a seat right across of him but the sneaky bugger chose to seat close to him. "Did you know that people in arranged marriages often never meet until their wedding day? Before we spend the rest of our lives, we ought to know one another. Don't you think?" Margaery asked smoothly. Holy shit, she's good. Time to get her off her game.
"I was a spoiled little brat who preferred to play with kittens rather than read or learn swordmanship," Tommen told her and if she was surprised, she didn't show it. "It's sad really, that the only bad part of my origin story was something that was out of my decisions. As for the latter, I've earned a true friend in Ser Pounce as you saw."
Margaery giggled which seemed to him like an angel's voice, "I hope, he protects me as well, Your Grace. Do you have any other things you want to share?"
"Yes, but if one wishes to gain something, one must present something of equal value. Those are the laws-" Before he could finish, Margaery had put her lips on his lips as to make him shut up. The kiss was a quick and chaste one but it made Tommen get all teenagery.
Her arms were still around around his neck. Margaery stared at him with her brown eyes that had a hint of playfulness and amusement. "Is this equivalent enough, Your Grace?"
Tommen closed his eyes on thoughtfulness. "I'd say it went beyond."
"Then care to tell me a secret, Your Grace?" Margaery asked him as she smiled a sultry smile.
"Of course, anything for my queen." Tommen answered as he moved to whisper in her ear. "I know Olenna planned the murder of Joffrey."
Tommen felt her freeze and she moved her head back. She was gaping like a fish. "Yo-You-Your Grac-"
It was time for Tommen to make Margaery shut up as he returned the kiss. Tommen kissed her slowly so he could match her shocked state. "Equivalent Exchange. Don't forget it, Margaery."
Margaery slowly raised herself and went out of the room but before she left she gave him a look of horror. Wait, did I just imply I would kill her brother because of Equivalent Exchange? Oh well, what can you do?
*****
Tommen stood in front of the mirror. He looked at his face which had gotten skinnier after the numerous training sessions with Brienne and also not eating himself into an early grave. His golden hair had been braided as per his request and he had parted his bangs on the middle. He had also gotten a yellow, long-sleeved, hooded cloak. Underneath the cloak was a sleeveless black shirt with a black jacket that has gold/yellow lining along the edges. No one has ever had better fashion sense, Ed.
When he got out of his room the Kingsguards almost raised their swords expect Jaime. Tommen didn't know if it was because he knew it was him or if he was incapable doing so in time. They escorted him to the throne room.
The doors were opened to reveal the monstrosity he would be sitting on. Millions of people were to be ruled by a child. Or at least they thought they were. The throne unfortunately and fortunately was the throne from the books. It wasn't that high up though. He saw his mother looking well… sad unsurprisingly. His grandfather was looking on his default Tywin face. The Tyrells were all smiling although Margaery had a smile that couldn't reach her brown eyes.
The High Septon was holding a crown which was made of gold and with points that looked like antlers. The crown also had black diamonds surrounding. It looked a crown fit for a stag king. But he was no stag, he was a lion. Tommen turned to face the crowd and the High Septon began, "May the Warrior grant him courage and protect him in these perilous times.
May the Smith grant him strength that he might bear this heavy burden And may the Crone, she that knows the fate of all men, show him the path he must walk and guide him through the dark places that lie ahead. In the light of the Seven, I now proclaim Tommen of the House Baratheon First of His Name King of the Andals and the First Men and Lord of the Seven Kingdoms. Long may he reign!" Everyone started to cheer and clap and call out "Long may he reign!"
Tommen then sat on the Iron Throne and made sure he didn't lay back. He stood regal as people came by to wish him a long reign. The one his eyes caught the most though was Varys. The Master of Whisperers. The Spider. "Your Grace. Long may you reign and I hope you have a long prosperous rule."
"I'm here to serve the realm. A king is the first servant of the realm, Lord Varys." Tommen replied to Varys who looked amused in his reply. He needs to die. ASAP.
Tommen's emerald eyes met Margaery's fearful brown orbs. She's afraid. Tommen smiled at her in a fond way and that made Margaery relax and return the smile. Then his mother stood in front of him. Wow. Way to go mom.
Olenna Tyrell then came. "Your Grace. I hope you and my granddaughter have a long reign." Alright, I get it. I'm going to marry Margaery. You don't have to tell me half a dozen times.
"Thank you, Lady Olenna. I wish to dine with you and my betrothed after this affair." Tommen told her and Olenna agreed. Margaery apparently still hadn't told her.
The thing finally ended and Tywin told him he had held himself as king that day. He then went to straight to dine with Olenna and Margaery. The Kingsguards followed him to the table. He told them to leave the room and stand guard outside. The food was brought and a bit later Olenna and Margaery came. Olenna had her eyes narrowed as she stared at him. "I welcome you, Lady Margaery and Lady Olenna."
"Thank you for the invitation, Your Grace." Margaery thanked him as she and Olenna sat down.
"Yes, yes, yes. Let's get straight down to business. You poisoned Joffrey." Tommen stated and Olenna eyes were narrowing even more.
"Is it poisoned?" Olenna asked as she held the wine cup.
"No." Tommen told her and she took sip of it.
"Good. I'd hate to die like your brother. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a brother. It was horrible enough for me. A shocking scene. Not at all what I intended. You see, I had never seen the poison work before." Olenna explained to him and Tommen laughed.
"If you thought I didn't enjoy my vicious cunt of a brother die then I overestimated you, Lady Olenna." Tommen told her but then calmed down and glared at her. "No, I'm angry because of another reason. By what right does the rose presume to challenge the lion? By what right?!" Tommen yelled as he punched the table and made Margaery let out a gasp. Olenna seemed to be fearful too. "If you want your House of upjumped stewards to continue, you have to pay for it. Equivalent Exchange."
"Wha-what do you me-mean?" Margaery asked.
"How much?" Olenna questioned.
"I think that Lord Mace Tyrell would be kind to give his good son and his daughter one million dragons each. Also I think he would forgive the Iron Throne's debt to the Tyrells." Tommen said as he started to eat. "And I think you can vouch for the good nature of my uncle at his trial.|
"And if we refuse?" Olenna asked.
"Bring him!" Tommen yelled and a singer entered the room. The Blue Bard. The one Margaery had on her entourage.
"And who are you, the proud lord said,
that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat,
that's all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red,
a lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord,
as long and sharp as yours.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
that lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o'er his hall,
with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o'er his hall,
and not a soul to hear."
"Men always seem to not hold up to their reputation except your grandfather. But you don't have a reputation. So I would like to bestow one upon you. The Second Coming of Tywin Lannister." Olenna said as she got up and Margaery followed as well. "I'm afraid I lost my appetite, Your Grace. I think it's because of the excitement I have for my granddaughter's wedding. Goodnight." Olenna left but Margaery stopped at the door. She observed him for a while before saying.
"I wish you sweet dreams, Your Grace. Because I know I won't be sleeping."
OMAKE
"Did you know that people in arranged marriages often never meet until their wedding day? Before we spend the rest of our lives, we ought to know one another. Don't you think?" Margaery asked smoothly. Holy shit, she's good. Time to get her off her game.
"Well, alrighty then.
Now this is a story all about how In King's Landing born and raised I asked for a cat and when it came near I got to the great hall by noon
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the king of a place called Westeros.
On the court was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out relaxin' all cool
And playing with cats round the halls
When some people who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my brother's wedding
My brother died and my mom got scared
Tywin said, "You're going to become the King of Westeros"
The cat was black
If anything I could say that this cat was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it"
"Enough, bad luck for the day!"
And I yelled to the kingsguard, "Yo, fight you later"
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the King of Westeros."
When Tommen turned to face Margaery, she had the most blank look. She just stared at him for a minute straight and Tommen decided to end the staring. "You see, I'm a great singer. Perhaps you should replace one of your singers with a king."
Margaery opened her mouth and closed it again. Well, she wasn't speaking. Time to confuse her more. "Okay, I know what you're thinking. My voice is the combination of the Mother and Podrick."