Looking for Love
Chapter 3
First Day of Hell
Hermione had bathed her young Professor and was now dressing him in a cute blue outfit, which he obviously wasn't happy about because it was a light shade of blue. She couldn't stop the blush that stained her cheeks as she found bathing him to be a very uncomfortable ordeal. Apparently, he felt the same way because he hadn't looked at her the whole time.
This has got to be the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. To hell with James Potter hanging me upside down for the school to see! This is ten times worse!
Hermione laid him on the bed and frowned. "I don't know if I should put a diaper on you," she murmured, but he heard it.
Don't you dare, wench!
Hermione saw the glare on the little boy and pursed her lips. It was obvious that there was at least some of the adult Professor Snape inside this toddler based off of the attitude and expressions he made.
"Well, I just hope that you don't have an accident because I don't want to clean it," she said with a heavy sigh.
All the more reason I should just shit myself right now.
Hermione was tired after she had dressed Professor Snape and flopped down on the bed while the toddler sat on the floor glaring at her. She rubbed her eyes and stared at the ceiling, wondering how things could possibly get any worse.
Hey! Where's my food woman?! It's not like I can get it myself now!
The toddler began to scream causing Hermione to sit up quickly with a look of concern. He glared at her and after a moment she found herself glaring right back. He was throwing a tantrum.
"You need to figure out nicer ways to get my attention," she snapped.
The hell I do!
"Are you hungry or something?" she asked tiredly.
No shit! It is dinner time. Did that know-it-all brain finally decide to kick back in?
Hermione summoned a house-elf to bring food to her rooms. She then picked up Snape, much to his dislike, and set him in a high chair that she conjured. He looked at it and then at her.
Are you fucking serious?
When the food appeared, Severus stared down at it in disbelief.
What the hell is this shit? Baby food? No! No way am I eating this!
Hermione whirled around as Snape screamed and threw the plate of offending baby food at her. He kicked and screamed to get his point across. Then when he saw Miss Granger drenched in baby food, he began to laugh hysterically.
Hah! Finally, something amusing has happened!
Hermione felt the stress building up and blinked back the tears of frustration. She quickly 'Scorgified' herself and sat down in the chair next to his.
"Alright, I need to know what you want to eat," she said in resignation.
As if I could tell you!
"I can't feed you steak or anything like that, so what about soup?" she asked looking at him. The toddler shook his head and gave her a scowl.
"Chicken and rice?" Again she got another shake of his head.
I want something that's going to fill me up, woman!
"Dammit! What the hell do you want?!" she practically screamed. There was a look of complete disbelief on his face as he looked at her with wide black eyes.
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU? I'M A FUCKING TODDLER!
Now he started to scream angrily, causing Hermione to want to rip her hair out. She threw up her hands and paced the room in frustration. She could only imagine what Professor Snape was thinking right now.
I WANT SOME DAMN FOOD! HURRY UP AND SUGGEST SOMETHING I LIKE!
"What about pasta? Do you like spaghetti?" she asked shakily. At this, the tantrum stopped immediately.
Spaghetti sounds pretty good, actually. Finally, the chit comes up with something acceptable.
Hermione could tell that she hit the mark and summoned the house-elf again. Almost immediately, there was a plate of spaghetti in front of him. Clumsily, he picked up his fork and began trying to eat, but his hands wouldn't obey what his brain was saying. He was beginning to get frustrated really quickly. He was oblivious to what was going on around him and hadn't noticed that Mr. Potter had entered the room through the fireplace, looking exhausted.
Harry smiled at Hermione who gave him a warning look as she ate her own pasta, but otherwise didn't say anything as he pulled out his muggle camera. When she noticed the camera, an evil smirk graced her lips as he snuck around the high chair. They watched Snape in silence since he seemed to be preoccupied with trying to feed himself.
Damn it all to hell!
Severus couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't really use his hands to eat so he did what any other frustrated toddler would do. He slammed his face into the plate of pasta, getting a mouthful and chewing happily.
I can't believe I have resorted to eating like a dog.
His face was covered with spaghetti sauce and his mouth was full of noodles when he finally noticed Potter with the camera. His eyes went wide with shock.
NO!
There was a bright flash of light and Potter was laughing his head along side Granger.
You did it! I hate you all! Damn Mr. Longbottom for this!
Severus glared at the two Gryffindors who were laughing hysterically now as he sat there, not only in the body of a child, but also in a high chair with spaghetti all over his face. He was pissed. He watched the two of them finally stop laughing and Potter sit in a chair next to Granger.
"Has he said anything yet?" Harry asked. Hermione frowned at him.
"No, why?"
"Well, Neville talks. I mean, he sounds like a little kid, but he does speak somewhat. He said in his own way that Professor Snape is going to be pissed when he gets back to normal.
Ooooh, you have no idea, Potter!
"Does Seamus talk?" Hermione asked, her attention firmly on Harry.
"No, not really. I wonder if they have to work at it to do it."
"You might have a point! If Neville said that Professor Snape is going to be angry with him-"
Beyond angry…
"-then he obviously has adult thought processing."
Don't give the boy that much credit…
"Yeah, so maybe in a little while, Snape will start talking," Harry said looking over at the very angry three-year old.
"It's Professor Snape and yes, maybe you are right. So when Neville speaks, he doesn't speak like us?"
"No, not like he normally would. He honestly sounds like a toddler. He isn't bad when he talks, but he doesn't pronounce all the words like an adult even if his brain is thinking it. It took him a while to get used to his motor functions too. He had a hard time eating like Professor Snape is having," Harry explained.
"I think the transforming was such a shock that they haven't had time to adjust to their body yet," Hermione said thoughtfully.
Fucking know-it-all…
"What do you think he's thinking?" Harry asked pointing to Snape.
How much I would enjoy snapping your neck with my bare hands rather than using my wand… Wait a minute! My wand! Where is my wand?!
Severus started to thrash in the chair, his eyes darting wildly around the room. This time he tried to get his brain to coordinate with his mouth, hoping that he could get the words out. The last thing he needed was Malfoy getting his wand.
"Wa!" he managed. The two looked at him curiously. "Mmm wa!" Now he was getting pissed.
"He's trying to speak," Harry said.
NO FUCKING SHIT, POTTER!
"What do you want, Professor?" Hermione asked coming to stand before him.
"Mmmm wa!" She frowned and looked at Harry.
"Is this how Neville talks?"
Don't compare me to that moron!
"No, Neville speaks a little clearer than that. Like I said, Neville can talk to the point of understanding, it's just that a lot of big or complicated words, he can't pronounce them right. I think Professor Snape is trying to adjust to being a toddler and using his vocal chords," Harry said.
I really despise you, Potter.
"Alright, try again Professor. Tell me what you want," she said kindly.
I want to strangle all of you… "Mmmm wan," he managed, hoping that he was able to say it clearer.
"His wand!" Hermione said in surprise.
Finally!
"His wand? Did it get left in the classroom?" Harry asked.
"It had to have been. What about Neville's and Seamus's?" she asked.
"Lavender grabbed them. She didn't bring the Professor's though."
"I'm going to get it. I don't want someone to take it. Stay here with him," she said and before anyone could protest, she grabbed her cloak and wand before disappearing out the door.
No you just did not leave me in the care of the Golden Boy. What a terrible mother you would be…
"Well, sir I guess it's just you and me," Harry said uncomfortably.
Did you just now notice that or are you stating the obvious?
"You should try being nice to Hermione. She'll take good care of you," he continued.
You should try leaving so that I may think of the many ways to commit suicide without your constant chattering. It's bad enough I have to stay with Miss Granger and listen to her mouth.
"I would honestly hate to know what you are thinking right now," Harry admitted.
Indeed.
"You should eat your food."
Go to hell!
"Do you want me to feed you?" Harry asked uncertainly.
WHAT? "No!" Severus managed to cry out and inwardly cringed at the way his voice sounded.
"Ok, Ok! I just thought I would ask."
How considerate of you…
Harry could tell by the look on the boy's face that he was probably thinking up some sarcastic remark although he couldn't say it. He was beginning to wonder if Hermione would be able to deal with the dour Professor.
"You better be nice to her. You may be my Professor, but don't you dare hurt my friend or you will be sorry," Harry threatened. He could tell that Professor Snape was pissed.
"You a ass'ho!" the boy snapped and watched in satisfaction as Potter's mouth fell.
"Well, I see you're learning to use your vocals chords," Harry said dryly.
"Go way!" the boy snapped. Well, I sound like an idiot, but at least he can understand me.
"No, I can't. Not until Hermione gets back," he said and sat back looking anywhere but at his toddler Professor.
Hermione entered the classroom with her wand drawn and looked around to see that no one was there. Quickly, she ran to the pile of black clothing and sifted through it. She let out a sigh of relief when she pulled the ebony wand from it, but her relief was short-lived when she heard someone coming. As quickly as she could, she scampered over to the potion store room and hid inside. She peeked through the crack in the door and felt her breath catch when Draco Malfoy and his two goons walked in and began looking through the clothes.
"It's not here!" Malfoy hissed.
"Do you think he has it?" Goyle asked.
"No, I think the Mudblood has it. She must have come earlier while we were at dinner," Draco growled.
"We can get it from her tomorrow while she is in class. We can break into her rooms," Crabbe suggested.
"Good idea," Draco said and the three of them left the room.
Hermione left her hiding spot and went over to the pile of clothes, picked them up and left the room. She was careful to avoid contact with anyone, especially Malfoy and his friends. She was angry that they planned to break into her room to get Professor Snape's wand so she would need to tell Dumbledore immediately. She made her way back to her room only to find a disaster.
Harry and Snape were fighting on the floor. Snape was throwing little punches at Harry who was trying to swat the little hands away without really hurting him and there was spaghetti splattered everywhere, including on both of them.
Hermione stared in disbelief for a moment before dropping the clothes and wand on her sofa and grabbing Harry's camera. She cleared her throat and tried not to burst out laughing when they both turned to look at her, covered in spaghetti sauce, eyes wide, and their mouths forming an 'o' due to her unexpected appearance. The camera snapped and she started laughing, instantly getting a dirty look from Snape.
Dammit Granger!
Harry finally managed to push the little boy off of him and stand up. He picked spaghetti out of his hair and a noodle of his glasses in disgust. Little Snape however, ran over to Hermione and tried to jump and get the camera from her.
"Gimme!" he screamed.
"No, I will not," she said and tossed the camera to Harry who stuck it in his back pocket.
You insolent little-
"Did you find his wand?" Harry asked, immediately catching Snape's attention. Hermione's expression turned serious.
"Yes, I did, but Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle showed up just a few seconds after I got there. They were looking for it. They're planning on breaking into my rooms tomorrow to find it," she said.
Those no good little bastards!
"We have to tell Dumbledore," Harry said.
"I was going to go in a minute," she said using her wand to clean up the mess.
"No, I'll go. I don't want them coming after you so just stay here and I'll tell him," he replied and headed out the door.
Well, he may be a foolish, hard-headed idiot, but at least he is an adequate friend. That certainly came from his mother and not that worthless man she married.
Hermione cleaned Snape with a simple cleansing spell and plopped down on the sofa. Carefully, she picked up the ebony wand and looked it over. It was nicely crafted and no doubt, Malfoy wanted to break it, thinking he would leave Snape to be a muggle. She looked over at the boy to see him standing next to her with a somber expression.
"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to it," she said softly and for the first time, she could see gratitude in his eyes.