I'd just like to point out that if you can't handle reading: partying (drugs and alcohol) or sex this fanfic is not for you. It has an M rating for a reason and that is the reason. If you can't then I suggest you find a rated T or lower story because most rated M stories have one or the other, or both. Just saying.

Notes: I apologize for the long wait. I had really bad writers block.

Thanks so much for your support; I didn't think this story would have so much by just posting a few chapters. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the update.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own these characters (unless otherwise stated). These characters belong to the writers of Glee.

"Wait, hold up! Girlfriend?" I raised an eyebrow.

"She's not my girlfriend." Puck got out of his chair "I'll get her to come back don't worry Brittany." With that he was out the door.

"You didn't need to stick up for me." I smiled sweetly, a smile was returned in my direction. "But thank you."

"Don't mention it." There was something about the way that her blue eyes seemed to sparkle when she looked at me. Or the way her small dimples show when she is smiling…I don't know what it is about her but she's just so different.

My eyes kept contact with blue, almost like we were having our own private conversation.

"Did you get my salad?" Quinn barked as she sat down in Puck's old chair across from Brittany. I rolled my eyes at her interruption.

"Sorry Lucy, Brittany and I were discussing Cheerio tryouts." I lied. I just saw the damn posters plastered everywhere in the damn school. It made me sick. It was like an advertisement for sluts-r-us or some ridiculous cheesy cheerleader porno.

"Oh please tell me you weren't actually thinking about trying out?! You wouldn't be able to last a day. Besides there is no possible way you could do what we do." Quinn scoffed.

"You're right thunder thighs, I'd do it better." I smirked at the head cheerio.

"Put your money where your mouth is Lopez." She was now standing up leaning towards me with one hand on the table.

"No Santana, don't put money where your mouth is it's dirty. You'll get sick." Brittany sighed.

"It's a figure of speech Britts." I calmed her then turned back to Quinn. "What kind of deal are we talking about here?"

"Simple, you don't make the team you get slushied for the rest of the year."

"Quinn…" I watched as blue eyes met hazel ones.

"Brittany." I placed my hand on her shoulder giving her a silent it's okay. "If I do make the team?"

"Not likely…" she smirked and raised her eyebrow at me. "If you do make it by some sort of miracle, I'll..."

"You'll kiss Rachel Berry and I get to slushie you once." I said as soon as the thought came to mind. I heard gasps around the table and a chuckle from Brittany and Puck.

"Do you want me to get herpes?" Quinn plopped in her seat. I could tell she was thinking about it.

"Oh please, that hobbit doesn't have an STD. She has as much sex appeal as roadkill." I did my signature eye roll and I heard muffled laughter coming from the table. I knew immediately that Quinn's bimbos were laughing. Quinn herself bit her lip trying to suppress her giggle but I knew it was there.

"Fine, deal." She stuck out her hand, I met it with mine and we shook on it.

"Hey sweet cheeks!" I looked in the direction of the voice. It belonged to Holly, the owner of the Breadstix. "You have to go warm up, I got this. You are on in ten."

"Hey Holly." I smiled at her and nodded. Her blonde hair was thrown up in a messy bun, she was in black dress pants and a black shirt her gold nametag in the same place as mine. "I'll try not to start a sex riot tonight." I winked at her and she shook her head.

"If I had an ass like yours I'd be flaunting it too." She winked back at me and I nudged her arm. "Get going before I decided to take your place."

"You wouldn't dare!" I joked playfully.

"I would…" She warned just as playfully as I was being.

"Wait, warm up?" I heard Quinn mutter to Holly. I couldn't catch the rest of the conversation because I was already walking away. I went into the staff room and began warming up my vocal cords. I went through the songs I was singing a few times as I changed into my favorite red dress that fit every inch of my body perfectly.

"Santana we are ready for you." Cassie said softly. She was our event planner, stage manager, and DJ for special events. She was actually someone I could tolerate. She wasn't really my friend but I did talk to her occasionally.

"Okay thanks Cassie." I didn't bother asking if my music was ready because I knew Cassie was on top of that and everything was perfect.

I walked down the hallway to the back of the small stage that was in the corner of the restaurant. After going up the small set of stairs I sat in the stool that was center stage behind the curtain. I don't normally get stage fright, but I could feel the butterflies darting around my stomach like they were fighting. It could be the fact that this is the first time that I'm singing a song that has such intense meaning to me or maybe it's because of all the cheerios that are here with Britts and Puck. Wait no Santana, you are fearless. Hold up, Brittany is here and she's going to hear me sing?! My heart began pounding and I swear I started to sweat.

"Hello and welcome ladies and gentlemen. You've chosen a very good night to come hang with us at Breadstix. We have none other than Miss Santana Lopez performing!" I heard the sound of applause and cheers which calmed me a little. This wasn't the first time I was performing here so I knew a lot of the same people come to see me sing on Thursdays.

This was the best part about working at Breadstix, sure it was a nice restaurant but we offered different entertainment every night and it allowed people to keep busy while waiting for their meals. Plus the owner Holly allowed me to express myself in anyway with no limits as long as I wasn't using words like fuck and pussy. Everyone that usually came in here knew about my sexuality, so changing the words to songs wasn't a huge deal.

The curtain opened and I couldn't hide the smile plastered on my face. "How is everyone doing tonight?"

I heard hoots and hollers from the small crowd and it was enough to get my adrenaline pumping.

"I'm going to start things off slow this week if you don't mind." I nodded to Cassie who started the music for me.

"Coming home, the locks broken

And the doors wide open

It's all gone, it's all gone now

I look around, it's just white walls

Listen now to the echoes

It's all gone, it's all gone now

Ever since you broke into me

Ever since you left with the key

I can't open up for anyone anymore anymore." I was singing pitch perfect but I had trouble holding myself together. I knew I had to sing it for myself. I knew I had to sing it because she would hear it.

"You took the sun, the moon, and the stars

Now I'm walking all alone in the dark

You stole my heart, you stole my heart

Give it back to me

All the love that we made here is gone

I'm living in an empty house of cards

You stole my heart, you stole my heart

Give it back to me

King of thieves, king of thieves

You're the king of thieves,

The king of, the king of" I met the eyes I was searching for and instantly I felt calmer as I sang. The pair of blue eyes always seemed to calm me which kept me from punching Quinn a few times. I put every ounce of passion and pain into the rest of the song.

"Inside I'm hollow

'Cause you carved my heart out

It's all gone, it's all gone now

'Cause you dealt a cold hand

I'm stripped into nothing

Take it all, take it all

Yeah yeah

'Cause ever since you broke into me

Ever since you left with the key

I can't open up for anyone anymore anymore" I hadn't realized that I was crying until the second chorus. Like any true performer I had to push through it. I never felt so vulnerable and open to a bunch of people. It's not something that I usually did but I knew that she was coming tonight. I finished the song with pride and sat back down on the stool that I didn't even realize I got out off. I heard Brittany screaming for me and that's when I looked up noticing I had a standing ovation. With the exception of Quinn and the person I was singing to.

I finished my set with the songs Disaster, Edge of Glory, and Wide Awake.

By the time I made it back to the staff room, I was emotionally drained. I quickly changed back into my work clothes and grabbed my belongings from my locker.

"Vanessa was not happy." Nickayla approached my right side.

I shrugged in response. "She deserved it."

"I never said she didn't deserve it. I just don't understand why she still comes back here every week to see you perform when you brok-"

"Stop it Nickayla." I huffed. "I don't need a reminder of past events. Most of my song choices were me getting the closure from her. Now will you please shut your piehole and go suck on Sam's trouty mouth or something because I really don't want to hear about her." I never usually snapped at Nickayla but this entire day was emotional enough for me, I didn't need the reminder.

"Sorry." She placed her hand on my shoulder and I mentally slapped her for her stupidity.

"Fine." Was all I said.

"So who's the blonde you were having eye sex with?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "You know the one in that cheerleading uniform."

"I wasn't having eye sex." I rolled my eyes at her. "She's one of Quinn's friends."

"That you are totally crushing on!"

"Oh please, I've known her for like two days and we barely even talked in that time frame." I shut my locker putting the strap of my purse over my shoulder and then I quickly clocked out.

"Well rumor has it she's waiting for you." Nickayla smiled and nudged my arm. I must have smiled or something because she was grinning like the Grinch. "You so want her." She teased. "I haven't seen you smile or laugh this much since Vanessa."

My mood did a 180 turn after that comment. I went from being able to move past the first comment about Vanessa to wanting to strangle Nickayla until she turned purple - I glared at my friend who was looking down at her feet.

"Santana, I'm so sor-"

I cut her off before she could finish. "Save it." With that I made my way down the hall.

When I was almost to the front door I noticed my favorite blonde sitting alone at the table. I frowned because she looked lonely so I walked over. "Did Quinn ditch you again?"

Blue met brown when she looked up, she smiled. "No, I told her to go. I wanted to wait for you."

"Why?" I asked. I don't understand why this girl liked being around me so damn much.

"Because I thought you were awesome up there." She replied shyly. "You looked great."

"Yeah thanks." I really wanted to say something sarcastic like I know I'm fucking amazing but for whatever reason I had my filter on. "So can I give you a ride home?"

"Really?!" She hopped up and down in her seat excitedly.

"Calm down crazy. You act like you just won the lottery." I laughed, she did too. I began heading for the door, I knew she was right behind me because I could feel her eyes on me.

"Oh just fucking wonderful." I muttered to myself. When we reached my car, a pale skinned girl with jet black hair was looking at me with those big gemstone green eyes I once loved so much. She was leaning against my red Chevy Cobalt. "To what do I owe this displeasure?" I took a step closer to Brittany hoping that Vanessa would get the complete wrong idea and think that Brittany and I were dating.

"I just wanted to thank you personally for making me look a complete bitch." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"No problem." I began mumbling in Spanish. I led Brittany to the passenger's side door and let her in. "Stay here okay I'll take care of it." I said loud enough for just her to hear. I shut the door knowing this was about to get ugly, so I began walking back toward the back of Breadstix knowing Vanessa would follow.

"What the hell is your deal Santana. You left me remember?" Vanessa grabbed my arm and I quickly turned removing my arm from her grip. "I don't even know why you left. Then you go up there and sing that stupid song?"

"I know about you and Ronnie." The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them. She didn't even deserve an explanation on why I left.

"What about me and Ronnie?" She was playing dumb and I could easily read her face.

"That you fucked her when you were with me." I clenched my jaw. "There is your fucking explanation you stupid slut." I began walking towards the car, when I was just a few feet away from her turned looking back at Vanessa who looked dumbfounded that I found out. "Oh by the way, you might want to ask Audrey about what a best friend she's been to you." With that I made it to my car and got in the driver's side, buckling my seat belt putting my car in drive.

A comfortable silence filled the car as I drove but I knew Brittany wanted to ask questions. I wasn't going to bring it up and I wasn't sure if she was either.

"Santana, are you okay? You're shaking." I looked down at my hands. I didn't even realize that I was.

"Yeah I'm fine Britts." I smiled and she relaxed.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking, who was that?" Great how do I explain something to her without having to tell her the entire story?

"Just an old friend."

"She seems mean." The blonde next to me frowned.

"She is." I shrugged.

A comfortable silence between Britt and I filled the car once again. All I heard was the radio which was low in the background.

Brittany was again the first to break the silence. "Do you remember yesterday when we were talking and I brought up that boy Dave?"

"Yeah you're boyfriend or something right?" I replied turning on my left blinker waiting to turn.

"heistheonethatslushiedyou." Her voice was so quick and breathless that I barely caught what she said.

"Oh…" I paused trying to make sense of the situation. I glanced over at Brittany who looked like she was about to cry. "Hey, I'm not mad. It's not your fault he's a douchebag. Personally I think you could do better."

"Santana, I broke up with Dave after he slushied you." She confessed looking over at me.

"Why did you do that?" I was kind of shocked. Did she break up with him because he slushied me or…?

She just shrugged at me, and then looked out the window.

"Britt." I knew she wanted to say something.

"Well, first because he does everything that Quinn tells him too and because he's gay." She mumbled.

"I knew it!" I squealed.

"You did?" She looked at me confused.

I snorted. "I'm a dyke, I have gaydar."

"You know when it's going to rain?!"

"What?" It was my turn to be confused.

"I thought only the weather guy had a gaydar…" She scrunched her nose in the cutest way. I almost forgot what we were talking about.

"Oh you mean the Doppler radar." I smirked. "No Britt. Gaydar means like, I know when a person is gay or lesbian by just looking at them."

Her lips made an O shape and she stiffened.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." However I was going to threaten that Dave kid…that is a piece of juicy information. The confirmation of what I already knew. Score.

"So are you okay with all of that Britt?" I felt like a bitch because I wasn't sensitive towards her situation before.

"I knew he was gay, I just didn't want to believe it."

We made small talk the rest of the way - several wrong turns later (thanks to Brittany getting her left and right confused) we pulled into the Pierce's driveway.

"Santana can I ask you something?" Brittany looked at me, her eyes were glued on mine, it made me squirm.

"Uh…sure." I spat out after a few seconds of silence.

"Is this a date?"

"What?" Her words caught me completely off guard, was she serious?

"Yeah I mean, we were at the restaurant and then you drove me home. Holly said that only my meal was paid for and I could have anything I wanted on the menu. She said you were paying for it. You kept looking at me when you were performing…"

"Britt if that was a date it was a shitty one because one I wasn't even there with you I was on stage and two I wouldn't bring you to my work place for a date. That's not how Santana Isabella Lopez rolls."

"Well I hope I could find out what a real date with Santana Isabella Lopez is like." She smiled at me and I couldn't tell her the truth. Something about those eyes…

"Maybe." I shrugged and left it at that. "I'll see you tomorrow."

By the time I made it home, I was drained. It was well after midnight. Brittany's words were echoing through my head on repeat. Why did Holly do that? Why did Brittany think that tonight was a date? I would probably beat the shit out of myself if I called that a date. A girl like Brittany doesn't deserve a shitty first date, she deserves to be wowed. Wait, why am I thinking this? It's not like I'm going to go on a date with her. Dating leads to messy, messy things…

My last thoughts before falling asleep were what it would be like to take Brittany on a date.

"Mija, what are you still doing home?" My mother's voice was soft and gentle almost like she was worried about me.

"Wike tame iys ir?"

"Ten."

"Shit!" I groaned and rubbed my eyes. "I'm sorry Mami, I didn't sleep well last night." Usually I'd come up with a lie to get out of going to school for the day, like I didn't feel good or that my alarm didn't go off.

"Quinn didn't come in here and wake you?"

"I guess not, I'd hear that annoying high pitched squeak anywhere."

"Santanita Isabella." She warned.

"Pido disculpas Mami." (I apologize) I sighed in defeat.

"por favor intente con ella Santana, for me." (please try with her) She sat on the edge of my bed, her curls long past her shoulders.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and sat up.

"Mija what has gotten into you lately? I haven't seen this side of you since…."

"Since what Mami? Since after dad left? I know exactly what you are going to say. So don't. I'm tired of this house, I'm sick of Quinn and her bossy ass attitude and I'm sick of your fiancée kissing my ass for you because he doesn't like the fact that I'm a lesbian." Somehow I was up on my feet pacing around my room. I don't even remember getting up from my bed. I was livid and I couldn't even tell anyone why I was so angry, because I truly didn't know why I was to begin with.

"No uses ese tono conmigo."(Do not use that tone with me.) She gave me that motherly look that made my insides cringe. "I wasn't going to say since your father mija." Her tone softened and she grabbed my hand. "Santanita, please listen." I sighed sitting down next to her knowing she was going to make me listen even if I didn't want to.

"I understand that a lot of people have left your life. Your father, your brother, your abuela, Vanessa…but that doesn't mean you shouldn't let new people in. Russell and Quinn opened their home to us and Russell has made me very happy." She squeezed my hand. I didn't dare look at her because I knew she was crying. "You need to allow yourself to be happy too mija. You deserve the best life and I've tried my hardest to do what I can to give it to you but it's so hard when I don't know how to fix what is broken inside."

I knew my voice wouldn't make out coherent words, so I did the one thing I could to show my mother I heard everything she said. I hugged her. I held onto her like she was my lifeline. She is my lifeline. I need to pull my frickin' act together, at least for her.

Songs: King Of Thieves – Christina Grimmie, Disaster – Jojo, Edge of Glory – Lady Gaga, and Wide Awake – Katy Perry

I know this chapter is shorter than the others mainly because of how I'm starting the next one.

Any thoughts on Vanessa? Do you think there is more to that story than Santana lead on? Hmm.

Should I do a chapter of Brittany's POV or do you like not knowing what's going through her head? Let me know!

P.S. Thanks for the love - it puts a smile on my face each time I get some. (: