A/Ns: I figured it was time to get this chapter done, and writing about all of the nerdiness and stupidity in the Neighbours From Hell AU just made me really want to write some BrOTP BixLu. Thank you all so much for reviewing the other parts for this little universe, I love you guys!

But anyway. I suppose I should get on to the actual story.

FAIRY GODMOTHER

Lucy had been married for all of four months (or really, it had only been one-hundred-and-twelve days, but who was really counting?) when she found out she was pregnant. Or, she guessed it, actually, and then confirmed it.

And then screamed and jumped around like a goddamn lunatic because she was so happy, but Gajeel hadn't been able to witness it. Not the first time she'd done it, anyway.

It had been on one of her fortnightly sibling days with Bickslow that Lucy had found out. Gajeel was out on a mission with Lily, so that meant her and Bickslow could have one of their grand sleepovers that only ended with them eating as much candy as they could possibly eat and falling asleep in a heap on the living room floor at some point around the time the sun came up. Gajeel and Erik were both used to it by that point in their relationships, so neither cared much about their sleepovers, and Erik just really liked having a night where he got his bed to himself. Apparently Bickslow was a blanket hog, but Lucy had never really noticed it herself.

So she'd been on the lounge with her best friend and sort of brother while wearing their matching onesies that they reserved for their sleepovers, the coffee table in front of them topped with bowls of various foods that had far too much sugar in them for them to be eating in the middle of the night, and having a Final Destination marathon, just because they could. They'd been up to the third fourth one when Lucy's mind decided to wander off on its own accord, and Bickslow cackling next to her went ignored as she stared at the space where the lacrima-vision screen was in front of them, but she wasn't watching it.

They'd been trying to get pregnant for a little while now, but in all the months they had been trying, Lucy had never once expected that she really might be and that it had happened. But as she watched someone get crushed by a bathtub, she was really thinking that she was finally pregnant.

All she'd done after that thought had crossed her mind and her heart had started beating even faster than it already was thanks to all the sugar she'd consumed, she got up from the lounge and threw her half of the blanket over Bickslow's head, grabbed her purse and boots, and told Bickslow she'd be back in a little while. And then, not even an hour later, she was standing in her bathroom and staring at two little pink lines on the test stick.

At that point, she only dropped it in the sink, then picked it back up to look at it again, to the instructions in the box, and then back to the stick. And then she dropped it again, and ran back out into her living room and practically threw herself on the Seith mage. It wasn't that out of the ordinary for them since they were the very best of friends and she was very cuddly. But honestly, Lucy didn't even care that she'd managed to knock Bickslow off the edge of the lounge and onto the floor (he could handle it anyway), because she was just so excited. Somewhere deep down, Lucy knew she should probably wait until Gajeel got back from his mission to tell him first, but she couldn't. She needed to tell her best friend.

Laughing at the seemingly far too happy blonde that was on top of him, Bickslow scrambled for the remote was now on the floor next to him, and hit pause on the movie as he sat. "Mavis, Lucy," he chuckled as he pushed her off of him so he could get up. "Could you at least give me some notice if—"

"I'm pregnant!"

He stopped, and stared, then blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. "Huh?"

"You heard me," Lucy giggled as she finally climbed back to her feet.

Bickslow got to his feet so quickly it almost made him dizzy, and he couldn't keep the grin off his face as he put his hands on the blonde's shoulders. "Really?" When she nodded quickly, Bickslow pulled her into an almost bone-crushing hug and only proceeded to lift her from the ground and spin her around and laugh with her. "Holy fucking shit, Cosplayer. That's amazing! I'm so so so so so so so happy for you and Metalhead. Holy fuck."

And seriously, Bickslow was over the fucking moon that his best friend and sort of sister was having a baby, because it meant he could steal it. Well, not really, but he'd be allowed near it, which was good! He still really loved kids, and babies were just so much fun to be around, and it had honestly sucked not being able to go near Laxus' kid or Freed's kid (who had only just hit the three month mark, finally), even though Laxus and Erza's daughter was already terrifying and had accidentally (or so Bickslow hoped) zapped him the first time he'd been allowed to pick her up. That little event had only made Laxus just about fall over laughing along with Bickslow's husband, and after that, Bickslow had taken precaution when going near Freed and Mira's daughter, Savannah, because he'd been just a little terrified of her being just like her mother. But no, she was just all cute and adorable and Bickslow hadn't wanted to let go of her, but he'd had to, because she was Freed's kid.

But with Lucy's kid… He wouldn't have to let go of them that often, and he'd be able to go near them before they were three months old! But that wasn't what was most important. What was important, was that his best friend was having a baby and he was truly so excited for her. And Gajeel, too (even though he really hoped their kid didn't get his looks).

"Why the fuck are you two jumping around and screaming like idiots?"

Bickslow and Lucy only looked to where a very tired Erik was standing by the entrance to Lucy's living room in his own pyjamas (he didn't get a special onesie, unfortunately), his arms folded and his single eye narrowed at the two of them. They didn't actually stop their jumping around in circles and screaming for him though. They were too excited to stop doing that.

"Come join us!" Lucy said excitedly as she pulled one hand free from Bickslow's and held it out to the Dragon Slayer.

"What? No. I'm not jumping around in the middle of the night," he replied. Erik knew very well his sort of sister-in-law was just as insane as his husband, but there were still some moments where the two only seemed to make Erik wonder just what in the actual fuck he'd married into. He'd only been trying to sleep and enjoy having the bed to himself, but no, his goddamn husband and sister had been squealing and making it impossible to sleep. If it was one thing Erik hated about letting Bickslow convince him to move into the house right next door to Lucy and Gajeel's new one that they'd moved into just after they'd gotten married, it was that he heard way too much. The upside, though, was that Gajeel heard almost as much as he did, so he knew he wasn't the only one suffering (plus, he kinda liked making the guy uncomfortable like Bickslow did. It was too fun to see him in the guild in the mornings). "Why the fuck are you two doing that anyway?"

"Because Cosplayer's having a baby!"

"Bix! I haven't even told Gajeel yet!" Lucy giggled, only stopping their spinning and jumping to shove his chest. Not that she really cared if Bickslow told Erik. They were her family.

"I'm sorry! You know I can't keep secrets from him to save my life so he would have found out from me tomorrow!" Bickslow chuckled with his tongue lolling from his mouth.

A baby, though? Erik had to admit that that was probably something that was worth jumping and squealing over when it came to those two. Plus, he was happy for Lucy and Gajeel. Even if he didn't want kids of his own, he could be happy for his closest friends, and he could most definitely be happy for Bickslow since he knew how much it had excited him to know that Lucy and Gajeel had been trying to have a baby in the first place.

Sighing, he grudgingly moved forward and dropped his keys with a spare to Lucy's house on it to the coffee table, and let the two pull him into their weird little bouncing circle. "I suppose I'll join just this one time," he muttered, and with a roll of his indigo eye, he jumped around in a circle with his husband and his sister-in-law in the middle of the night.

"I call dibs on being the godmother, by the way."

Gajeel looked to Bickslow in as much shock as Cobra beside him did, and he almost spat out his drink, unlike Cobra who actually had. Lucy had been pregnant for all of three-and-half months, she was only now just starting to show a little bit, they hadn't even started buying any baby furniture or anything like that, or even talked about whether or not their kid was going to have godparents.

But apparently, Bickslow had decided that they were, because he was going to be the godmother. "Uh, Bix, how about no?" Gajeel muttered before taking a careful sip of his drink.

"What? Why?" Bickslow replied.

"Because we haven't talked about anything like that yet."

Bickslow shrugged, and he leant forward over the table to rest his chin in his palm. "Well, I'm making your decision easier for you then, aren't I?" he smirked. "Cobra and I would gladly be your kid's godparents, and I would happily look after him or her when you two die of some unfortunate and unforseen accident."

"Jeez, you're one morbid motherfucker sometimes," Erik muttered.

Bickslow leant over to the side then just to quickly kiss his husband's cheek, then murmured, "Yeah, but you still love me."

"Sometimes."

"But any who," Bickslow went on, looking back to Gajeel and to Lucy next to him who was only listening with interest and a smile on her lips. "We're the godparents. It's done. Deal. Awesome, thanks. Pleasure doing business with you."

Just then, Natsu, followed by the rest of Team Natsu, were coming up to their table, and looking to Lucy and Gajeel like they'd had their hearts ripped out, and Lucy could only raise an eyebrow at them all. "What? You made Bix and Cobra the godparents?" Natsu pouted. "No fair, Luce!"

Lucy held up her hands defensively and leant back on the bench. "Hey, we haven't decided on anything yet."

"That's a lie. We're the godparents. I called dibs. I win," Bickslow cut in.

Natsu turned his attention to the grinning and smug Seith mage opposite Lucy. "You're not the godfather!"

"I know that."

"Then why the hell are you saying that you are?!"

Bickslow grinned up at Natsu, then said, "Because I'm the godmother, moron."

"No! I'm the godmother!" Erza added from behind Natsu, her short sword already drawn and ready to be pointed towards Bickslow. "Lucy's child and my daughter will get along perfectly and I will teach them both the art of being a master swordswoman."

"Uh, can I object to that?" Lucy said quietly, but it only went ignored as she continued to watch them all fight over their claim to being her baby's godparents.

"Fuck off, Erza," Bickslow groaned, pointing his finger at her. "You're already Savannah's godmother. Share the children, please."

The scarlet haired woman shrugged. "One can never have enough god-babies."

"Um, yeah, you can. This one is mine. I called dibs."

Lucy sighed as she placed her glass of water back down on the table, and with Gray joining the argument and claiming his stake to the throne of godparents, Lucy glanced up to Gajeel, just to find him watching the entire interaction with that wicked smirk on his lips. He was having way too much fun watching it, but Lucy wasn't. It was honestly just beginning to annoy her, and even if she'd pretty much already decided that Bickslow and Erik would be her baby's godparents (she hadn't told Gajeel that she'd decided that long before she was pregnant in the first place, but he'd just have to deal with it) despite kind of being her baby's uncles too, she wasn't going to say that Bickslow and Erik were in fact going to be the godparents just yet.

She still had one thing to find out, so only raising her voice slightly over their loud argument which now had Bickslow playing rock-paper-scissors with Natsu, Gray, and Erza, she said, "Bix, honey, you do know you're a boy, right?"

"Last time Cobra checked, I was, yeah," Bickslow replied with a smirk as he glanced to the blonde. "Why?"

"Because that would make you a godfather, not the godmother," Lucy explained.

Bickslow shrugged, and pushed Natsu away when he whined and lost all rounds of their little game and sat down beside him. "Nah. Erik can be the godfather. I call dibs on being the godmother."

"You'd be a horrible godmother," Erza muttered from just behind him, her arms folded.

Bickslow tilted his head back and up to the armour-clad mage. "I'd be the best goddamn fairy godmother in the world." When she huffed and walked away back to Laxus who was only watching in amusement from the bar, Bickslow looked back to Lucy and shrugged again and added, "Plus, I'm a dude married to another dude, so one of us has to be the godmother."

"That's not how it works, you idiot," Gajeel said.

"I know, Metalhead, but I don't care. I'm the fairy godmother whether you want me to be or not."

"Well, I do actually want you two to be the godparents," Lucy smiled softly, and she laughed quietly when Cobra's eye widened in surprise and Bickslow looked like someone had just given him the best news he'd ever heard (which, it was probably close to being). "But why are you so set on being a fairy godmother now?"

"One, Fairy Tail, and we're all fairies here," Bickslow explained, his tongue lolling from his mouth with his wide grin for good measure. "Two, I can fly. With the babies, technically, so that counts. And three, because I just really wanna spoil the shit out of the kid and be an awesome godmother and make them love me more than they do you."

"Even though you're the kid's uncle too."

"Yup."

Lucy sighed with a shake of her head, and looked back up to Gajeel. He knew that look and that smile, because he saw it far too often when she wanted her way – and she always got her way because everyone was weak when it came to her. If she wanted the two idiots across from them to be the kid's godfathers (er, godparents, apparently), then that's what would happen. It wasn't that bad, he figured. It was better than having Natsu as a godparent, or even Gray. Gajeel was just a little worried that his kid would get burnt to a crisp or be turned into a human ice cube if they went anywhere near those two. Bickslow and Cobra weren't that bad.

Or at least, he hoped so.

"Go on, then," Gajeel muttered with a roll of his eyes.

Smiling brightly, Lucy turned back to Bickslow and Cobra and sat up straight as she tried to put on her best serious face as she cleared her throat. "Your mission, Bickslow, should you choose to accept it," Lucy began. "Is to be my daughter's, or my son's, though I'm really hoping it's a girl, fairy godmother. And you, Erik, is to—"

"Yeah yeah, whatever," the other Dragon Slayer mumbled. He'd be the kid's godparent, but he wasn't going to be a dork like his husband and sister-in-law. He left the idiocy to those two, because they just did it so well.

"Aw, you're no fun, Erik," Lucy giggled. "But Bix, do you accept your mission?"

"Hell fucking yes."

And with Bickslow quickly getting up to no doubt go rub it in Erza's face that he was the official fairy godmother of Lucy's unborn child, all Lucy could do was sit back again and watch Erik shake his head at his husband's antics. If it was one thing Lucy was now sure of though, it was that she knew exactly what to get Bickslow for Christmas that year, and that was a shirt that named him the best goddamn fairy godmother in all of Fiore.

A/Ns: Along with the few other chapters I have planned for this universe, this particular one was planned way back when I wrote Catch the Bouquet.
Bix just really wanted to be a fairy godmother in my head, so I let him. Oh well.

Anyway. I hope you liked this one! There'll be a whole lot more of the BrOTP BixLu, plus some actual GaLu and BixCo if I can manage to tear myself away from the BixLu... They're too cute, okay? Don't judge me.

Please remember to review if you liked it! I'd love to know if you did.

Until next time.

- April