"Frozen Truths"
Chapter 3 {Tris' POV}
-o-o-o-
It's warmer today, so I'm not freezing to death as I wait for the bus to arrive.
Usually, I get to places by foot, as it's much cheaper. But this interview is across town, and I think today would be okay to pay for actual transport - after all, if I get this job, I'd be able to buy myself a whole bus company. Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but that amount of money could change our lives.
I have to get this.
It's almost midday, so there's a good amount of traffic on the roads, and someone walks by me every so often. And I can put names to faces, instantly. That's the kind of stuff that comes with living in such a small town. But as Dad used to say, small means safe.
Despite it being so tiny, there are easily identifiable lines between us all - the lower class, and the higher class. It's as if we're separated into two different towns, and I'm not sure whether that's such a bad thing.
Around here, I fit in. Because everyone has the same struggles as I do. There are no judging looks, no snobby personalities... as soon as I step foot into that side of town, I know I'll receive all of those things, which is to be expected. Society is a mess, and there's not much anybody can do to fix it.
The bus shudders to a halt next to the kerb, and the doors slide open. I pay the driver what I owe, and make my way towards the back, lowering myself down into a window seat. The bus is fairly busy, but there are spare seats dotted around.
I look out of the window as the bus goes on, sweeping through the streets.
I told Mom all about the job interview this morning, while I was helping her take her meds. And although she probably didn't hear a word of what I was saying, I'm holding out hope, and telling myself that she did hear it, and understood it.
I'm going to get this job. For her. With my wages, I could not only afford more things around the house to make us comfier, but I could make sure she gets the professional help she clearly is needing. If not.. well, I hate to think of how bad things could get with her.
After that thought washes over my mind, I pinch my leg, hard. I can't have thoughts like that. It won't do me any good, and I have to stay focused and optimistic, especially now.
I take my time in observing the people on the bus, distracting myself from the fear stirring around inside of me, threatening to push me into panic-mode. There aren't many people my age, I notice. Mainly old people on the way into town, and a mother with a toddler.
However, there is a gang of Sophomore-looking teenagers, presumably bunking off school. They laugh and slouch across their seats, tapping away at their high-tech cellphones.
I almost laugh. A bunch of teenagers possess such expensive electronic gear, and I don't even have my own cellphone. If I want to call anyone, I'll have to use the pay phone across the street from my house. It'd be nice to have a cellphone, though. But they don't just fall out of trees, I'm afraid.
Thankfully, it doesn't take very long to get to my stop, and the driver gives me an odd look as I step off. I got given very detailed directions on how to get to the house, and I've got the actual addresss scribbled on a piece of paper hidden in the pocket of my sweatershirt.
I can't help but feel intimidated as I wander down the street, constantly straightening my shirt, self consciously. The cars the drive by are no longer battered and cheap, instead, they look as if they've come straight out of one of those fancy vehicle magazines.
This neighbour hood isn't very big, but boy is it glamorous. All the houses I pass leave me in awe, unable to believe that people can actually afford to live in places like that. The whole idea is crazy to me. And the fact that I've got the opportunity to work in one of these houses is as equally unbelievable.
This will at least show me how the other half are able to live, and I don't have to see it first hand to know that it's a lot easier.
A mix of spite and envy make my chest ache. A part of me wants to hate those who are able to live around here, but I can't help but long to just be them. But that's understandable, really. Wouldn't everybody feel like that in my position? I would like to think so.
The house I'm supposed to be having my interview is at the edge of the neighbour hood, and a large set of black gates block my patch to the driveway. Frowning a little, I spot a little callbox to my left, and press down on the little button.
"How may I help you?" A posh-sounding voice crackles from the small metal box.
"Er - well, I've got an interview with Nita Pablos, regarding the maid position? On our telephone conversation, she specifically instructed me to come here -"
Before I can finish, the gates shudder open, pushing away from me and opening up the long driveway. I smooth down my hair quickly as I walk, and straighten my shirt one last time.
As I near the actual house, my jaw drops a little. The house itself is beautiful in design and archetecture, the lady who lives here - Nita - must have a great eye for design. There are all kinds of magnificent, exotic-looking plants that grow around the driveway, as well as the large stone fountain planted in the middle. Even the stone beneath my feet looks expensive, and I didn't even realise that could be possible.
A small flight of marble steps lead up to the grand, double front door, with shiny silver handles. But before I can knock, the door opens and a man in a butler get-up stands in front of me, professional vibes radiating from him, intensely.
"Miss Prior, we've been expecting you." He says as he moves aside, gesturing for me to come in.
I step inside and try to suppress my gasp. If I thought the outside was great, the interior of the house is simply magnificent.
Shiny, marble floor is beneath my feet, and every piece of furniture is classy and sophisticated, and colour is coordinated perfectly. A large chandelier hangs above my head, glistening in the sunlight that streams through the French windows that line the walls.
"I'm not late, am I?" I ask, anxiously.
"Right on time, Miss." He assures me, as he closes the door, and I sigh in relief. Punctuality is always a good trait in a potential employee, so I'm glad that I managed to arrive on time.
Before I can have any more time to gawk at the grand entrance hall, I hear heels clicking against marble, and my eyes snap towards the source. A woman is gracefully descending the large staircase, despite wearing rather high heels.
I suddenly become even more self conscious of my appearance, now in the presence of this woman. She looks like a million dollars, in her gorgeous blue dress, and diamonds around her neck. Her skin is the colour of a dark caramel, complimenting her dark eyes. Her figure is one that I've longed for - all softness and curves, rather than my compact size and lack of womanly shape.
She flashes me a smile, revealing a set of bright white and straight teeth. "You must be Tris Prior," she says as she reaches the foot of the stairs. "I'm glad you could make it on such short notice."
"Of course, I'm grateful for the opportunity." I answer, straightening up a little; I want to seem confident, not timid.
"I'm Nita Pablos, but you will refer to me as Miss Pablos," she says, brushing non-existent specks of dirt away from her dress. "All of our staff do, so you will be no different - that is, if we decide to hire you."
"We?" I ask, unable to hide my curiousity. I was under the assumption that she lived alone here.
"Yes, my fiancé and I. He isn't here at this current moment; a work call, meetings have him booked up all day." She answers, her tone sounding almost bored. "So, shall we get on with the tour?"
"Lead the way.. Miss Pablos."
"So, this is the living area, where we spend most of our time catching up on movies," she says, guiding me into a connecting room, the size of my whole house.
There are plush, cream leather couches, decorated with throw pillows. There's a wide screen TV hung up on the wall, along with a dozen bookshelves, all decked out with books, vinyl records and trinkets. A glass coffee table sits under the TV, with a vase of white roses sat atop. The cost of everything in this room alone, would probably amount to what I earn in a year. This is seriously crazy.
Then we move on to the luxurious dining room, that's all colour coordinated and decorated in a classic yet chic way. As I've said before, Nita - Miss Pablos, has a spectacular eye for design. Perhaps that's what she works in? Interior design? That's if she even has a job. She never mentioned it, but she's managed to brag about anything she can as she guides me in and out of different rooms.
I'm not sure what to make of her just yet, but the general vibe I'm getting isn't a good one. Ok, maybe that's a little harsh. She just seems a little.. self-centred, I suppose. And I've never done well accepting those kinds of people. But if I want to get this job, I'll just have to force a smile and pretend it doesn't bother me. I can do that, I'm sure.
The kitchen is especially grand - shiny, granite counters, topped with all the new, modern appliances. There's a large island in the middle of the room, with glossy magazines scattered across it. Even supposed clutter like that seem to appear neat and tidy, as if their place has been calculated and worked out already.
Back at home, there's all kinds of random things dotted around, making everything appear rather sloppy. But this isn't like that, not one bit.
If I get this job, I'll have one heck of a cleaning schedule, I think to myself.
"Your house is lovely." I say, looking around with an undisguised awe.
"It is, isn't it?" She smiles. "Well, we had the best builders in the country come and work on it, as well as a handful of professional interior designers."
"They definitely did a good job."
"I know, and I'm glad they did, with the amount we paid them for the job." She says, before turning around and leading me out of the kitchen.
As we enter what I think is an office, I spot a girl in the corner, dusting away at a bookshelf. "Christina," Nita says, and the girl turns to face us. "This is Tris Prior, she may be taking Ava's place, if her interview goes well. Tris, this is Christina. Our other maid."
"It's nice to meet you." I say, nicely, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
"And you," Christina replies, giving me a big smile. "I'll leave you two alone. Let me know if there is anything I can get you." She leaves out of the door we entered through, closing it behind her.
She was very pretty, I noticed. Similar looking to Nita actually - the same skin tone and shape. Maybe working here will be harder than I thought, especially if all the staff make me feel so inferior.
Nita gestures for me to take a seat, so I slide into the leather chair opposite the big oak desk, of which she sits the other side of.
"So, tell me more about your work experience," she says, resting her forearms atop of the glossy wood. "You mentioned that you have some cleaning history?"
"Well, I've been working at a diner in my neighbourhood since I was a Junior, and still work there now. I work as a waitress, but I get paid extra if I stay behind and clean too, which I've been doing for a while," I answer, crossing my ankles, nervously. "And it's just me and my mom at home.. and it's me who does the cleaning and all, so I do have a couple years experience under my belt."
She doesn't seem very impressed, and I'm not surprised. My job resume isn't outstanding, but I do know how to clean. Even she can't deny that.
"Did you bring the documents I asked for?"
"Yeah, they're just in here.." I say, scrambling for my purse and digging out the neat compilation of information. She and her fiancé must be very wary about who they're letting into their home, which is wise, and I respect it. I've had to bring a copy of my birth certificate, phone numbers, medical history, my resume, schooling information... they're definitely thorough.
I can't help but detect her hesitation before taking them from me. It was only a split second, but I picked up on it. I supresss an eye roll, but remain neutral.
"This is great, thank you," she says, tucking them away in a drawer connected to the underside of the desk. "I'll look those over with my fiancé when he returns. May I ask why you think you're the right candidate for this position?"
"I think that I'd be a great asset to your staffing team; I've got a good sense of time management, I'm able to get on well with others, and I listen to instructions," I say. "I really would like the opportunity to work here, and I'm so grateful that you're even considering me."
"Calm down, it's just a maid job, not an internship for the president." She laughs, but there's little humour behind it. My fists clench at my sides and I bite my tongue, withholding a mouthful of abuse that I could so easily fire at her. But I need this job.
"Sorry, but this job could really help me out," I say, fighting to keep my tone light. "We are a little strapped for cash right now, and this job could turn it all around for my mom and I. So I do hope you consider hiring me, I wouldn't let you down."
"I can't say that I understand what it's like to have money problems like you. I mean, look around. I've never had to live without all my luxuries," she says, gesturing around to the room we are sat in. "But you being in a lower class than me will not effect your chances at this job, I can assure you."
"That's great, thank you." I say, faking a pleased, grateful smile.
"My fiancé and I will make sure to contact you as soon as possible," she adds. "We prefer to be punctual and direct, so expect a positive or negative call from us by Monday Evening. Will you be available then?"
"Yes, I'll make sure to be available for contact over the weekend, thanks again."
"If you are to get the job, I will arrange a day for you to learn the ropes and take a full tour of the house - I'll assign Christina to you, as you are around the same age, I'm sure you'll be able to learn a thing or two from her." She says, and I nod along.
"That'd be great," I say, standing up from the hard leather armchair. "Would this job be a full-time thing? Are you aware of what shift times we are talking -"
"The job will certainly be full time," she interrupts. "Including weekends. Christina's shift every day goes from 7am to 10pm, as there is much to do, aside from cleaning. There are a number of tasks that need handling, that I'm sure you'd be able to rise to. Is there a problem with those times?"
I bite down on my bottom lip, fiddling with the straps of my purse. I've always had a couple hours spare between my jobs to make sure Mom is okay, and to give her the meds she needs for that day - even if she could move up from the couch, I'd never be able to trust her with drugs that she could easily overdose on. Who knows what she'd do to herself.
But maybe if I left the right amount out on the table for her, she'd be okay. It's a bad situation, but without this job, we'd be in even more shit. I have no other choice.
"That's perfectly fine," I assure her. "I'll be waiting for that phone call, and I really hope you consider me, Miss Pablos. Thank you for your time."
The butler who let me inside is the one to show me back out, and I give him a kind smile before leaving, which he returns. At least the people I'd be working with seem nice.
Now, I can only wait, and hope that I'm chosen.
-o-o-o-
"Do you think you stand a chance? I mean, were there many applicants?" Tori asks, as she hands me my apron.
"I don't know," I sigh, slipping it on and grabbing my note pad and pen from the side, tucking it into my apron. "I feel like I made a somewhat good impression, but that Nita woman is pretty hard to read. And very rude too, I might add."
"It will feel weird, you know," she says quietly, giving me a soft kind of smile. "Not having you around here all the time. I mean, how long have you worked here for now? Four years? That's a pretty lengthy amount of time."
"It'll be weird for me too, Tori, but I don't have much choice in this. If it were up to me, I would stay here. But I have my mom to think of. The wages I'll be getting will be more than enough to have us living comfortably.. I just, well, I can't watch her waste away any longer than I already have. I need to help her to get better. And this may just be the boost I need to get me there."
"I understand. Family comes first." She says, patting my shoulder as she passes me, but I see the flash of sadness in her dark, angular eyes. Tori is like family to me, and I know I'll miss her. But my mom has to come first, and there's nothing else to it.
I've sacrificed so much in my life, and this is just another one of those things. The only way I'll get through this is if I just grit my teeth and smile my way through it. After all, it's worked for the last three years.
I vault over the front counter and land firmly on my feet. A young teenage couple are holed up in one of the booths, and a large gaggle of mum's and their children have taken over the majority of the tables.
I go over there first, and take a dozen orders of dinosaur-shaped fish sticks and coffee's. As I wait for the fish sticks, I glance at the couple in the corner, and something tugs at my stomach, and my chest aches.
I've never had a relationship, not a real one, anyhow. I had a boyfriend in my Sophmore year, and I regret ever getting with him in the first place. Peter, his name was. He was the school heart throb, but me being the naive teenage girl I was, I believed that he loved me, and that I could be the girl who changed him for good. But it's clear to me now that I was kidding myself all along.
He got what he wanted - he had sex with me at a party, when he was steaming drunk, and then dumped me the next day. I lost my virginity to that asshole, and I regret it every day.
When he dumped me and moved on to the next girl (victim), my heart broke into a million pieces, and I thought that my whole life was over. I had mom to comfort me then; back when she was happy and carefree, and it was her looking after me, rather than the other way around.
After that, I never dated again, since I was too terrified that I'd have my heart broken again. And then Dad died, and I had to quit school, get jobs and grow up.. I never had the time to start dating anybody, and I'm not sure I ever will. I'll have to spend my whole life taking care of my mom, so I'll never have the opportunity to meet a guy.
Seeing couples around town and in the diner makes my chest hurt and anger bubble up inside of me, but I ignore it, every time. After all, there's not much I can do to fix it. There's not much anyone can do.
"Tris? Tris Prior?"
My eyes snap to attention, and still on the doorway, where a girl stands, hand in hand with a boy. I instantly recognise her as Myra Jones and her boyfriend Edward Henry - I'm not surprised to see that they are still an item, they were always joined at the hip in high school, even in our Freshman year. I wasn't exactly close with Myra, but we were sort of friends, I guess.
She attended my father's funeral - along with most of the community - and held my hand as I cried. She gave me strength on that day, and I wish I had taken the time to become a better friend to her.
"Hey!" I say, smiling. "What are you two doing back in town? Last I heard, you both had scholarships to Stanford!"
They approach the counter and sit at the bar stools, grinning back at me. "We're back for the weekend, to spend time with our families and see everyone, y'know?" Edward answers.
"That'll be nice, I'm sure they've missed you, and you them."
"Well.. what about you, Tris?" Myra asks, cautiously, her smile slipping a little. "What are you doing here?"
"I think you and I both know the answer to that question," I say, softly. "No college for me, not after dropping out and all. Plus, my mom needs me around."
"How is she doing? I mean, I know things were hard for her after your dad passing..."
"Yeah, she's doing better," I lie, plastering a false smile onto my face, attempting to be as convincing as possible. "But I can't leave her, not after everything she's already lost."
"I'm pleased to hear that, Tris." Edward chips in.
"Anyway," I clear my throat, trying to ignore the guilt stirring around inside of my stomach. "What's going on with y'all? College must be pretty cool, right?"
"Well, now that you mention it, there is a little something..." Myra says, blushing as she glances over at Edward who is smiling widely, and that's when I notice the ring. An engagement ring, to be exact.
"Wow, guys, that's amazing! Seriously - I'm really happy for you both." I exclaim, and Myra holds up her hand to give me a closer look at the beautiful, sapphire-encrusted ring.
Tori retrieves the fish sticks and drinks, giving me space to talk to my old friends, and I give her a small smile in thanks.
"What about you, Tris? Have you found your knight in shining armour yet?" Myra asks, looking over my fingers for a ring, that doesn't exist.
"Nah," I say, waving it off as if I couldn't care less. "I'm too busy working for all that. And besides, I know pretty much everyone in this town - at least, the ones who live in our area - so if I had met the guy of my dreams, I would already know about it."
"He's out there, I know it."
"Whatever, I'm not bothered about all of that, anyhow," I shrug, leaning forward on the counter with my forearms. "So, what can I get you?"
As I prepare their milkshakes, I can't help but wish I was more like Myra - with her perfect family, high school sweetheart (soon to be husband), and a college scholarship, the freedom that lies outside of this small town... she has everything, and all of the things I wish I had.
Who am I compared to her? A waste of a teenager, still living in her hometown, working at the same diner, with the same shit weighing me down. I'm not important, not even in the slightest.
But still, I wish for things that people like me have no chance of getting. It's stupid. Is it bad to want things? Because I want so much more than what this life has to offer me.
And the worst part? I'm never going to get it.
-o-o-o-
Authors Note:
Yay a new chapter! Sorry it took me a while to update, but I've been a little busy at the minute, but I did make this chapter a little longer, to make up for it!
I hope you all enjoyed, and picked up on the relationship history for Tris - I wanted to add that in just to give you an insight to Tris's view on dating (before she meets Tobias, that is!)
This story has already been given a lot of support, and I want to thank all of you! I really hope y'all continue to enjoy my work. Let me know what you thought of this chapter by dropping me a review!
- GuiltyMind