Chapter Three

The best thing Alice could say about the dungeon was that at least it wasn't done in white and red. For Wonderland, it was unimaginative as far as dungeons go. Dank, moldy stone walls, cool, musty air, and rows upon rows of narrow, barred cells, most of them empty.

Alice wasn't sure if she found the absence of inmates reassuring or not. From what she had seen the last time she'd been in this world, business and politics ran on corruption, and though Jack certainly ran a tighter—and what she hoped was a more morally correct—ship, no way all that crime had vanished in just a year, not when Wonderland had also experienced the overthrow of their ruler (a tyrant though the Red Queen had been), been forced into a mass detox cold turkey thanks to the sudden loss of Oysters, and complete financial collapse (also because of losing the Oysters).

So therefore a vacant dungeon meant one of two things: 1) Either Jack was more lenient when it came to convicting criminals, or 2) the punishments he was meting out didn't involve a simple jail sentence.

Alice didn't try to fool herself into thinking the first one was any more possible than the second, not after everything she'd been through with him, for him. Even though Jack as a ruler was a huge step down in cruelty from his mother, that still left him plenty of headroom in which to operate. And that side of him she didn't understand, that side of him that scared her, that had told her instincts that he wasn't the right one for her, nor she for him, that side was definitely capable of passing judgment as merciless as it was fair. He was a king, after all. The king of Wonderland. He couldn't hold that position without a bit of ruthlessness.

Alice passed a cell that was actually occupied and slowed. Two round, pale faces stared out at her through the bars, familiar as an old nightmare. They were dressed in the same identical outfits they'd been wearing the last time she'd seen them, though a couple of their shirt buckles had come undone, making the leathery fabric baggy and giving the clothes an undone straightjacket look. The two men were not sitting on the supplied bunks or in any way relaxed inside their cell. Instead, they stood together, shoulder-to-shoulder, arms at their sides with their backs straight and chins up, like soldiers waiting at attention for no apparent reason.

The one on the right, Dr. Dee—or was it Dr. Dum?—cocked his head at her. In a tone that was more curious than shocked he said, "It's Alice of Legend."

"It can't be her," argued the one on the left, eyes squinching to scrutinize her.

The first shook his head, lips parting in a crazy, lopsided smile that sent a shiver clear passed Alice's spine all the way down to her heels. "I understand why you would feel contrary. And if it weren't her it wouldn't be, but as it is her, it is."

"It ain't her, nohow," the second insisted.

"Keep moving," the Red Knight told Alice, giving her a warning prod in the back with the dagger she had used to steer her down here.

"Why are they here?" Alice asked as she started forward again. If anyone deserved a harsher punishment, it was those two psychopaths.

"Because they're useful. No one else can get inside an enemy's mind as easily or as deeply as they can. Their interrogation skills are invaluable, especially now that we're at war."

Alice wished she were more surprised that Jack was still employing such people, but walking to her own cell that the new king of Wonderland had assigned to her, the most she could work up was a dull feeling of disappointment.

"And they agreed to continue working, even though you keep them down here?"

"Of course." The Red Knight leaned closer so that her chin was practically resting on Alice's shoulder. "I don't know if you noticed when you were in their care," she whispered, "but the things they do to people, messing with their heads, mentally breaking them down, they enjoy doing that. Any chance they can get, for any reason, they'll take it. Doesn't matter who's asking, or why. Hell, you don't even need to ask, sometimes. Once when I came to deliver their supper, they sang this poem to me, and for the rest of the day when anyone said anything to me all I heard was a rattle shaking. It was not fun. I make a Suit bring them their meals now."

She pulled away, saying at a more normal volume, "So I'd try not to listen to them if I were you."

When Alice shot her a worried look, she grinned. "Don't worry. Your cell's pretty far away, you shouldn't be able to hear them. Too much."

"You know this is crazy, don't you? Locking me up like this for no good reason."

The Red Knight shrugged. "A reason is still a reason. What difference does it make if it's a good one or a bad one?" she asked, very reasonably. "And how do you tell between the two? Perhaps the reason doesn't look good only to you."

Alice would have thrown up her hands in exasperation if she hadn't been afraid the knight would take it as a threat and jab her with the dagger again.

This whole situation was ridiculous. Jack had said going after Hatter was too dangerous for her, but since when had he been so concerned about her safety? Breaking up with a boyfriend was supposed to make them care about you less, not more. And it certainly shouldn't turn them into an overprotective tyrant just because you wanted to do something a little bit risky. He'd had no problem with her being in danger before when she'd come to Wonderland. Half the time, it had been his fault in the first place. Not that she was blaming him, but the point remained. If he had been okay with putting her into risky situations for the good of Wonderland back then, why force her out of the way now? Maybe if she went to see the White Queen, she could help end this war. Through true fate or just lucky coincidence, she seemed to be good at that.

Or… did he think she would make things worse? Granted, she had messed up last time by bringing the ring back to Wonderland, but she liked to think she was smarter now, and everything had worked out well enough in the end, hadn't it? He was king, wasn't he? The most infuriating, overbearing, secret-hoarding king there ever was, but a king nonetheless.

"Here we are," said the Red Knight.

They came to a stop beside a cell twice as big as the others they had passed, and this one was anything but barren inside. The floor was covered in fresh, sweet smelling rushes and a makeshift hammock hung from the ceiling. The cell's bunk had been converted into a table, upon which were various crockery, a couple stacks of books, and even a pile of unfinished knitting. In the corner hung a battered set of armor—armor Alice recognized a split second before she recognized the old man kneeling before it, a rag in his hand, diligently buffing the rusted and dented metal.

"I brought you a surprise, Charlie," said the Red Knight. Alice was too shocked to say anything at all.

The White Knight didn't so much as glance their way. "Another trinket to try and soften me up, Red Knight? Well it won't work I tell you. As I have said countless times, I am an impenetrable fortress! And no amount of bribery or—or fluffy woolen balls are going to get anything out of me!"

The Red Knight's smile was all cheek. "The knitting not going well, huh?"

"I cannot stitch a blasted peacock's tail to save my life!"

"Well no knitting needles are require for this, I don't think." She unlocked the heavy cell door and tugged it open. Charlie glanced over, expression one of careful disinterest until he spotted Alice.

His mouth fell open and he dropped his rag. He was dressed in the same silly long johns he always wore underneath his armor and had the same thin, wavy beard hanging off his chin. His eyes were alight with pure joy as he wobbled to his feet and hurried forward.

"Alice of Legend has come all the way to Wonderland to visit me?" he said. "This is a wonderful surprise, indeed!"

"Actually, she'll be joining you for awhile," said the Red Knight. She gestured for Alice to go ahead. When Alice hesitated, she received another prick to her lower back. Alice glared but went.

"What? I don't… Joining me?" said Charlie, looking from the knight to Alice and back again. "I don't understand."

Alice couldn't say she did either. Why was Charlie here?

The door swung closed behind her with a resounding clang. The noise seemed to jog the older man's understanding. He spluttered in outrage. "You… you can't be serious! Do you realize who this is? This is Alice of Legend! She brought down the Red Queen! She saved Wonderland! She is a hero, a champion, a—"

"Legend?" said the Red Knight dryly, sheathing her dagger. "The king is well aware of her status and all she's done for us, trust me."

"And yet you still dare to lock up Wonderland's most beloved idol? You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"We all have our orders to follow," she said. "As a fellow knight, you should understand this well."

"Charlie," Alice murmured, placing a hand on his arm. He was trembling and his face was turning a distressing shade of red. "That's enough. It's all right."

Charlie made a noise that sounded like, "Hermph!" and turned his head away from the Red Knight in a clear snub. The woman sighed. "I'll leave you two to get reacquainted then, shall I? And I'll try and find you something else to do besides knitting. Cards, perhaps?"

When she got no response, she bowed and left. Alice waited until her footsteps had faded before turning to the old knight.

"Charlie, why in the world are you in here?" By the look of things, he had been here awhile. Weeks, if not months.

"Me?" He blinked, his indignation already receding. "Well… because. I am a white knight."

Alice didn't see what that had to do with anything. "So?"

"So, the Red King is currently at war with the White Queen. White," he impressed when she continued to stare at him blankly.

"Are you saying that Jack's worried about your loyalties?" She scoffed at that. "Didn't you already prove that by helping him take the throne from his mother?"

Charlie fiddled with his fingers, shifting from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. "Well, he… he has a point, actually. His concerns are valid ones, even if I do not care for the result." He gestured at the cramped and dingy quarters.

"What are you talking about? You know you would never betray your king. I know you'd never do that."

"For Alice of Legend to say that means a lot to me," he said.

"It's just Alice, Charlie," she corrected him gently, but he had started to pace and wasn't listening to her. He could only take half a dozen steps before he was forced to stop and change direction, making his movements look even more agitated.

"If only I could be sure, though," he continued.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just terribly confusing, the position I'm in now. I'm not really a knight, never having been officially knighted. I was, um, self-appointed, as you know, so in that way I owe loyalty to no one. However, having appointed myself as the White Knight, technically speaking, I should be backing the White Queen. However-however, as you said, I fought for his majesty before, and I know him to be a decent man at heart, so should I not continue to support him as I have pledged to do? But that is the Red Knight's job, and as the king has found one now, having a red knight and a white knight is not practical in the least. And then there's the matter of financial backing…"

He continued to mutter and pace, half his words dropping so low as to be unintelligible. Alice watched him with something akin to despair. The poor man was nothing but loyal, but he was also honest to a fault. She could just imagine Jack coming to him when the White Queen had first started to become a problem and asking the knight where he stood. And poor, confused Charlie had probably waffled and second-guessed just as he was doing now, and made Jack so nervous he had no choice but to lock him up.

Alice supposed they should be thankful that was all Jack had done to him. He could have easily labeled the White Knight a traitor to the crown and had him executed. That's what his mother would have done. That Jack had shown mercy came as a sort of a relief. It was proof that the softer side of him she had known and remembered fondly still remained, even if was now weighted down with a heavy crown.

"And that woman!" said Charlie, voice suddenly pitching high and making Alice jump.

"What woman?" she asked, thrown off by the sudden change in topic.

He waved disgustedly at the place where the Red Knight had been standing only a few minutes before. "That woman. Coming down here ever day with her questions, trying to wheedle things out of me. As if I would ever give away such secrets!"

"What is she asking you?"

"Knightly things. Where I trained. How many battles I've been in. What my strongest skills in combat are. Things of that nature."

Alice could see why he wouldn't want to answer such questions, considering that he had never formerly trained anywhere, had ran away from the only real battle he'd been in besides his bluff with the skeleton knights, and knowing it was an effort for him to even get his sword out of his scabbard, much less impress anyone with his mad fighting skills.

"She hasn't used the doctors on you, has she?" Alice asked, tipping her head to indicate the twins now muttering quietly several cells down from theirs.

Charlie stopped pacing and snorted. "Not at all. She's annoyingly polite about the whole thing. Even said she wanted us to be friends. Friends! When we are sworn enemies!"

"Are you?"

He visibly faltered at that. "Well, she's a Red Knight, and I am a White Knight. It only follows that we would be… wouldn't it?" His uncertainty would have been adorable if he hadn't looked so distressed about it.

"I have no idea," answered Alice honestly. "Your guess is as good as mine. I thought I halfway understood Wonderland. Turns out I still don't know anything at all." It was depressing, really.

She found a thicker pile of rushes near the corner and took a seat. It looked like she was going to be there awhile. Charlie, looking equal parts sad and thoughtful, joined her.

"How did you come to be back here, Alice of Legend?" he asked. "I did not expect us to meet in this life again. And while I am overjoyed to see you, I fear the circumstances for it are not ideal."

Alice let her head drop back. She sighed and closed her eyes. "It's a long story."

"As you can see, I have plenty of time for a good long tale," said Charlie. Well, that was certainly true.

So Alice told him what had happened. It was both easier and harder to tell Charlie than it had been to tell Jack, for the White Knight was a far more sympathetic listener and Alice didn't feel obligated to sensor her emotions for his sake like she had for her ex. Being able to admit that she feared for Hatter instead of just giving the bare facts of his abduction was freeing, sharing her worries unknotting some of the horrible tension inside of her. But it also made the pain of it that much stronger, and by the end, she had shed more than a few tears, though she was quick to wipe each one away the second they fell.

Charlie seemed as confused as everyone else about what had happened. "The White Queen stole your harbinger? But… she should have her own. Several, if she needed them. Why would she feel the need to steal yours?"

"I have no idea," said Alice. "But now Jack won't even let me go after him! He says it's because the White Queen is too dangerous."

"Dangerous… yes, she is that," Charlie conceded. "She has kept to the old ways of Wonderland. Her magic abilities make my skills at the dark arts—which are not unimpressive!—look like parlor tricks. And after what happened to the duchess, the king is probably more cautious than he would be normally."

Until now, Alice hadn't even thought to wonder about her ex's fiancé. "What happened to Duchess?"

The old knight's face scrunched, and then it twisted, and then he covered his mouth and shook his head and made some snorting-choking sound, and Alice realized in shock that he was fighting not to laugh.

He coughed, dropped his hand, and forced his expression in something graver, though his lips still twitched. He cleared his throat. "It's lamentable, truly, and not funny in the least. I shouldn't laugh, but…" But he did. Again.

"Charlie!" Alice exclaimed. "What happened to her?"

"Well, she's—" Chuckle, snort. "—been turned into—" Snort, chuckle. "—a bit of a—" snort. "—a swine."

"A what?" gasped Alice.

"Yes-yes, it's as a I said. Or, as you heard."

"Jack didn't mention anything about that!"

"Well I should think not!" wheezed Charlie. "Who wants it to get around that your fiancé has been turned into a hog?"

"How did you find this out?"

"The Red Knight informed me about it."

"Why would she tell you?"

That got him sober again. He admitted grudgingly, "No doubt another vain attempt to gain my trust. As if a bit of gossip could sway me!" He yelled it in defiance, as if the Red Knight were still near enough to hear it.

Alice struggled to absorb this new information. She couldn't say she liked Duchess, but the woman had seemed to genuinely care about Jack, and after everything was said and done, Alice did not begrudge them whatever relationship they decided to have together. If Duchess could accept all of Jack, including the parts that Alice hadn't been able to, and love and support him in spite of—or even because of—all of those things, then more power to her.

But now she was a pig. Because of the White Queen. The same woman who now had Hatter. Though Duchess's fate better explained Jack's high-handed reticence to let Alice leave, knowing that Hatter was now at the mercy of such a powerful and twisted person only made her more determined to go after him—if only she could figure out how.

Alice stood, though she knew very well there was nowhere to go. She wandered over to the bars that separated their cell from the empty one next to it and leaned against them, dangling her arms through. She needed an escape plan. Charlie had a lot of things in here. Maybe they could fashion something? Put his part-time inventoring to some use? If they could make a skeleton key or a lock pick, maybe something to use against the Red Knight…

A quiet scuffling noise came from the neighboring cell. Alice looked up—and choked on a scream. A woman's face stared back at her, not two inches away from her dangling hands, which Alice quickly yanked back through the bars, banging her elbow in the process. Bright red locks drooped around the woman's face, which was saggy in the way skin always became when too much weight is lost too quickly. She was wearing a shapeless red velvet dress that was badly frayed and had weird holes dotting it in patterns, as if she had plucked off every last piece of gold ornament that had decorated the cloth.

She grinned at Alice, eyes slightly unfocused, and gave a hissing laugh through her teeth. Alice stumbled back and nearly bowled over Charlie, who had come up behind her.

"My god," breathed Alice. "Is that—?"

Charlie nodded solemnly. "The Red Queen."

"Why is she here? What's… what's wrong with her?"

Charlie sighed. "She's been down here since her dethroning. There was a disagreement over whether she should be exiled or executed, and before a decision could be reached someone snuck some sort of Tea in with her meal that threw her into this… state. They still don't know who did it, or what kind of Tea it was. If it was meant to have this affect or if her emotional instability caused this reaction. But whatever the case, her execution has been postponed indefinitely."

"Did the Red Knight tell you all that?" asked Alice, and Charlie grumbled something she took as a yes.

The Red Queen was still staring at her.

"Troublesome girl," she muttered. "There's a troublesome girl in my dungeon. Someone notify the White Rabbit. I want her removed immediately. Immediately I say, or it's off with your head! Off with your head! I'M OFF WITH MY HEAD!"

Alice and Charlie both stepped back at the shout, and the Red Queen cackled and skipped away, smacking her hand along the cell bars as she went.

"She's more than half mad now," whispered Charlie. "Maybe… three-quarters? They can't get an accurate measurement. It keeps fluctuating depending on her mood. Just try to ignore her the best you can. She stays quieter that way."

He gave Alice's shoulder a pat. "Would you like some tea, by the way? I have some leftover from lunch. It's a bit cold, but it always is down here."

He shuffled away without waiting for her answer, his mind already on finding the sugar and cream. Alice let him go, escape plan forgotten. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the woman now crouched in the corner of her cell, tittering at a ball of dust she had found.

"Don't be shy," the Red Queen told it. "Introduce yourself properly now. Open your mouth wider when you speak, I can barely hear you. And don't forget to curtsy. Curtsy you impudent, child!" She poked at the ball of dust, which shivered and rolled a few inches away before crumbling. "That's better. Now we can work on your croqueting skills. Tell me, how are you with flamingoes?"

"I'm terrible with them, actually," a voice from outside the cell answered. Alice blinked and looked over, but the Red Queen nodded as if it were the dust that had answered her.

"I thought as much. And hedgehogs? I suppose you're hopeless with them too, aren't you?"

"Hopelessly," Alice watched the Cheshire Cat say. It caught her eye though the bars and winked.

"Then what good are you? If you had any decency at all you would take yourself off! Off with your head! Off with your head!" And she proceeded to get up and stamp down on the pile of dust repeatedly, until, huffing and puffing, she collapsed backwards onto her bunk.

"Violent as ever," said the Cheshire, floating over to Alice's cell. Floating, not walking. "Madness certainly hasn't done anything for the dear Queen's temper, I see. How delightful."

"What are you doing here?" said Alice. The cat looked just as it had in her dream. Huge yellow eyes, a bulbous belly, purple-striped fur, and a head size that rivaled her own.

A crash came from behind her, followed by Charlie's exclamation, "Tea and crumpets, it's the Cheshire!"

The giant cat purred at him. "Indeed it is, White Knight. How nice of you to notice."

Charlie peered at him through the bars. "Extraordinary," he breathed, and the Cheshire puffed out his furry chest. "I haven't seen you in—"

"Longer than it is polite to say," said the cat.

Charlie snickered. "Quite."

"Are you here to get us out?" Alice asked hopefully.

"Why would I be?"

"Maybe because we're innocent?"

It rolled its eyes at her. "My dear, if I went around helping everyone in Wonderland just because they were innocent, why, I would never have time for tea again!"

"But you helped me before, in my dream."

"And look what you did with my help. You went and got yourself locked up in the Red King's dungeon. I supposed the Hatter was taken?"

Alice nodded stiffly. "Yes. But if you let us out, I can—"

But the Cheshire was already shaking his head. "Won't matter now. Even if you escape, he will reach the White Queen long before you can reach him."

Even though Alice had already known that was likely true, it didn't make hearing it any easier.

"I still have to go after him," she said.

"Do you? I daresay you don't. It's more a matter of 'wanting' to isn't it?"

"Same thing!"

"But it's not the same at all," argued the Cheshire. "Having and wanting are two entirely different things and should never be confused. The things you have to do as opposed to the things you want to do. The things you have as opposed to the things you want. The things others have that you may want…"

"Are you trying to hint that you want something for letting us out?" said Alice.

"Trying? By your very question I think I have succeeded, don't you?"

"Fine, what is it?" The cat should know how little she had to barter with.

The Cheshire purred and rolled over in the air as if it were lazing on its favorite rug. "Hmm, a favor will do."

"A… favor," echoed Alice doubtfully. "What kind of favor?"

"The kind you will grant me at a future date, when I ask it of you," it said.

Here Charlie made a small noise of protest. "Alice of Legend—"

"It's just Alice, Charlie, please."

"Just Alice, I feel the need to caution you…"

"I know," she said. This deal was about as vague as it got. And deals made without full disclosure were usually risky ones with high prices and harsh consequences if you didn't deliver. But… "But Hatter needs me."

She looked the cat square in the eye. "All right. You've got yourself a free favor. As long as it's within my power," she added.

The Cheshire's grin stretched from ear to pointy ear. "Wonderful."

The cat dropped down so that it could reach the lock panel and pressed one pudgy paw against it. With a grating click, the cell door opened. Charlie rushed to don his armor.

Alice stepped out of the cell. She listened for any footsteps or yelling that would indicate someone had heard them let out, but there was nothing. So far, so good.

She watched as the cat floated further down the aisle. So did the Red Queen, who was up and pressed against the bars, staring intently.

"Now what are you doing?" asked Alice. She didn't like how close the cat was getting to the other lock panel. Not that it would… she was just being paranoid. But paranoia felt closer to common sense around here.

She followed it.

"I'm doing what I came here to do," came the reply. "I have other things to do than spend my time messing about with you, you know."

"And that is?"

The Cheshire was right in front of the Queen's cell now. Its grin grew impossibly wider.

Oh no. No, no, no!

Alice dived forward, yelling, "Don't!"

Too late. It pressed a paw against the lock panel. Alice heard the click. Her fingers closed around a roll of rough fur before it vanished along with the rest of the cat. Its smile lingered in her retinas like the afterimage of a camera flash. In her head she heard, "Until next time, Alice of Legend."

The cell door swung open. The Red Queen came to life, giving a happy clap and springing out to join a stunned Alice in the aisle. Charlie came charging out from his own cell, his armor rattling and clanging like a wind chime made from pots and pans. "Just Alice, what has happened?"

"Out of my way, Spindles!" cackled the Red Queen, and she barreled into him like a pro linebacker, knocking him into the cell bars opposite and making the entire dungeon echo with the sound of metal smashing against metal.

Now there were footsteps. And yelling.

The Red Queen took off.

"Time to go, Charlie!" Alice cried, and grabbing him by the edge of his chest plate, she started tugging him forward.

"But what about the Red Queen? She cannot be out!"

"The Suits will have to catch her." No way was she sticking around to try and wrangle the mad woman back into her cell. They'd all be caught then.

They ran passed the doctors. Alice heard the one say, still as calm as you please, "The prisoners are escaping," and the other reply stubbornly, "They can't be, nohow."

At the stairwell, the Queen took a sharp left, the turn barely visible because of the angle and the gloom. Above them were the frantic sounds of at least a dozen Suits descending. No escape that way.

"Follow the Queen!" Alice shouted at Charlie, and together they ran.

At the end of the hall, the Red Queen threw open a small, rickety wooden door and dashed through, Alice and Charlie right behind her. It led to another flight of stairs, these even narrower and with a deadly slant to them. Charlie fell behind as they raced up, and Alice was forced to stop and wait for him. Distantly, she could hear the Suits as they scrambled to figure out where they had gone.

"Come on, Charlie. You can do it," she encouraged in a frantic whisper as the White Knight huffed and puffed his way up.

When he had caught up to her, they hurried through another small door and abruptly found themselves outside, in the back of the palace. Though Alice couldn't have been inside more than a couple of hours, it was already sunset. Jack's comment about Time echoed back at her: "I'm afraid it's gotten a tad overexcited, trying to rush things, you could say."

She could now.

To their left was an impressive looking hedge maze, and to their right, an old croquet field. (Alice spotted several rusted wickets poking up from the overgrown grass.) And straight ahead, after about two hundred feet of exposed field—forest. Alice watched the dark ripple of a red hem disappear into the trees. For being locked up for a year, the woman was incredibly fast.

Alice pointed to the tree line. "Can you make it to there, Charlie?"

"Of course," came his immediate—if wheezing—response.

"Ok then. Let's go!"

They ran. Behind them, she heard the throbbing chug of an ascending Scarab.

"Just—like—old times," the White Knight panted from beside her, and when Alice glanced over at him, she found him smiling. For his sake, she forced herself to return it.

Yeah. Just like old times.