The Pompous Roy Mustang Hears A Rumor
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, characters etc...
Roy Mustang, prestigious, pompous and self- involved sat behind his office desk. The title of General hadn't fazed the man's working habits to say the least. He still hated paperwork and he avoided it most days. B.ut then given, the higher rank he was able to hand the paperwork off to a confident inferior. That so-called confindent inferior was no other than Major Edward Elric, former state Alchemist with a wicked ailias 'Full Metal'. Edward was still technically a state alchemist, but no longer bound to missions ( on exception of his sometimes needed expertise) but more so office work. Or as the younger alchemist said himself, Roy's Bitch. The ever trusting and gun slinging blonde, Riza Hawkeye still worked right aside the General; but not so much in the office anymore. The eventual Mrs. Mustang was responsible for training all new troops in the expertise of firearms.
Both were relocated back to Central when the Elrics returned for good. The woman still brought Roy his lunch, chatted about different things going around Central and an occasional brief intimate moment. They went to work together and left together; sharing a lavish apartment, in eastern Central. They had over the year became increasingly close to the Elric family. They visited Resembool most holidays and celebrated birthdays. Alphonse was almost through school and on his way to becoming one of the best damn alchemic-Medical doctors in Amestris. Edward had finally married his long time friend and mechanic Winry Rockbell and recently heard though rumors that the young wife was pregnant. Yet, neither Edward or Winry had yet to disclose such information. Edward worked in Central three times a week and at a small College in Resembool the rest of the two. He and Winry jointly owned 2 Auto mail shops, one in Resembool (and the Rockbells original business) and another in Rush Valley. They were by no mean pressed for money. Edward's pension alone could cover expenses. But no one would know for the two lived as simply as they could.
Roy hardly noticed the scuffling of uneven boots as he mused over his thoughts. His ebony eyes looked up to see the back of his 'said' inferior attempting to scoot out of the room unnoticed.
"Your late and so are these documents. You not that stealthy, Full Metal I've been watchin' the clock." The blond stiffened at the man's coy tone.
"You should have gotten off your own ass and signed some of those papers. Y'know actually earn your paycheck." Edward snapped, whipping his head around to glare at the unfazed General.
"Harsh words today, Edward. It's not even midday and you are already being a fowl mouthed dick." Roy added smugly, but seriously.
"Jus' don't go jumping down my throat and you might steer clear of a fist to the jaw." Edward grunted, shoving hands into his pockets of his wooly and itchy uniform.
Mustang ignored the comment. "Seriously Edward, you might consider calling if your gonna be late. The fuehrer might actually catch on that you don't have a sick grandmother. Besides I put those documents on your dest. Yesterday morning."
"Yeah...well I am sorry to bust your bubble but I have been busy lately. Midterms tomarrow, I haven't made up the test. The Resembool Shop was closed for a few days, Rush Valley has quadruple booking an' to top all that off Winry's unable to fill any of those orders because she is sick. Which is why I was so fashionably late today. She missed the damn toilet an' I had to help clean up the mess."Edward ranted, moodily.
Mustang sighed, knowing now that perhaps the rumors were true. He just had to act on instinct. Or maybe it was inpulse.
"You know, Full Metal there's a rumor that's been floating 'round' HQ." Roy mischievously put a hand to his chin. " I heard something from Fury and Breda that you knocked up your mechanic..." He couldn't help the shit-eatng grin that graced his lips as he watched Edward's face drain of all color. The man's hands dropped to his sides. Mustang expected to see him clench his teeth and his fists but neither happened. Instead Edward looked up utterly pissed.
"Damn it just who in the hell's been running their mouths?! I'll turn em' all into fish when I get a hold of them." The young man fumed, buttons pressed, reeling.
"An' you have know idea!" He shook a metal index finger at the black haired man. "She pukes everyday-at least three times. She's moody and it's no one else's damn business! She hasn't even seen a doctor yet." He simmered down, pushing back his pony tail. His yellow eyes were narrowed.
They were silent for a moment until Edward was the first to speak. "Aw hell, Winry proabaly ran past someone. She's been dying to tell someone. We just didn't want to make it a big deal."
Roy smirked. "You mean you didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Because you knew that we would all know that you have officially a sex life! You must of stuffed her good Full metal, and quick too, you guys were married just a month and a half ago. I guess all that traveling finally caugh up with your dic-"
"SHUDDUP! Will you it's like you enjoy torturing me! An' yeah this is exactly why I didn't want anyone to know! Especially you! You know-wait a sec... you do this shit because you are jealous aren't; you? You not even married yet!" Edward spat, spinning on his heel to exit the room as fast as he could.
When he got to the door, Roy spoke again, just as smugly as ever. "That may be true Edward, but I do have much more experience in the matters of woman. I could give you some tips!" He called as Edward rounded the door way and disappeared from view.
"By the was Ed...don't forget you have more papers for me!"
"Sitck up 'em up your as, ya old bastard!" Edward called from the hall way. This was going to be the longest day in his life, other than the one when he was married.
A/N: don't you just love Roy? He's great...I cam just so see the look on his face. I'd want to slap him too.