GETTING LOOSE & LIMBER WITH MAYOR McHOTTIE
Lucy Emmerstein, blogger
Huffington Post
Posted: October 1, 2016 8:44:23
It's said yoga is a practice or discipline of a physical, mental & spiritual nature. Originating in India, it has been widely used as a form of physical exercise in the Western world with an emphasis on strength and flexibility. While it is vastly more popular with women, many men have also discovered the benefits and co-ed classes have been on the rise these last ten years.
But despite the surge in men's yoga, it certainly came as a shock when Star City's Mayoral Office announced that its very own leader, Mr. Oliver Queen, was not only a fan of the activity but an avid practitioner since his return from the island of Lian Yu. The pronouncement was made as part of the Mayor's new health initiative known as "Strong Stars for a Better Tomorrow" and to kick it off the Mayor would be leading an open yoga class at the local YMCA, free to any Star City resident.
Mayor Queen has been the subject of scrutiny and interest after his attempted drowning by Miss Suzie the dolphin last month garnered him national attention when a video of the attack was leaked to YouTube. Sources close to the Mayor have made it known that offers for interviews by the likes of Diane Sawyer and 60 minutes as well as guest appearances on the Tonight Show & the Late Show were all declined. Rumours have also been circulating around the Mayor and a supposed offer from GQ magazine for an in-the-buff two-page photo spread. And whether or not the offer was valid, he has since landed a spot on the magazine's "Most Stylish Men in the World" list for 2016.
Mr. Queen proved himself deserving of the honour at his yoga session after he showed up dressed in trendy Lululemon men's yoga pants and matching dry-weave shirt (and yes ladies it was white this time).
Unfortunately his clothes were probably the only thing elegant about the day.
Upon further thought, one has to wonder if Mr. Mayor was a victim of a sibling prank for it was quite clear early on that his knowledge and practice of the art of yoga was severely lacking.
However, the fifty women privileged enough to attend the event after lining up for hours in the early morning autumn air, would and did disagree. While none praised the Mayor for his yoga accuracy or familiarity (he did win high marks for his attempted warrior stance though), all agreed his heart was in the right place…as well as several other body parts.
The Y's aging boiler system helped to make the session even more memorable when it continued to pump out large amounts of heat – so much so that the yoga class unintentionally turned into hot yoga and while the women were struggling with the increased ambient temperature, the Mayor continued on unruffled with his butchering of yoga poses.
Several women who were lucky enough to garner spots in the front few rows certainly weren't complaining about the heat. As one women said after the session, "He was so close I could smell his sweat. And it was awesome!" "Who knew sweat could smell so good?", another woman added.
So while the Mayor couldn't quite muster a lotus position or his cat pose resembled more cow then feline, he will forever be remembered for his downward dog move after he turned around to demonstrate to the class and offered up his perfectly toned ass for all to see.
Like the fictional McDreamy & McSteamy, Mayor Queen has a new moniker after the day's events – Mayor McHottie.
BREAKING NEWS: STAR CITY MAYOR ATTACKED
Lucy Emmerstein, blogger
Huffington Post
Posted: October 10, 2016 14:29:05
This just in: Star City Mayor Oliver Queen was the victim of a vicious and heinous attack following a ground-breaking ceremony at the animal shelter this afternoon.
His attacker is described as white, fluffy, approximately nine inches tall, weighing a terrifying ten pounds and answers to the name Fifi.
Let me be clear – this is not a joke. Not entirely anyways.
Mr. Queen was indeed attacked, the victim of a severe tongue lashing and canine enthusiasm not often seen in rescue dogs, this one in particular.
Fifi is widely known in the Star City area for having been rescued by the vigilante known as the Green Arrow six months ago after she was placed in the care of an emergency animal worker. At the time she was described as "skin and bones" and "barely alive" and her progress since was widely reported through a series of articles by the local Gazette. Later determined to be a pure bred Bichon Frise, the dog was named Fifi by the same worker and despite the attachment formed between the dog and her caregiver, the shelter employee was unable to adopt. Once the public was made aware of her lack of adoption status people clamoured to have their name considered as a new home for Fifi.
Alas, after two months and numerous families, Fifi displayed no interest in leaving the shelter and took to nasty growling and snapping of anyone who dared to remove her from her "home".
Enter Mayor Queen who was on hand this afternoon for a ceremonial ground-breaking for the expansion of the animal shelter. As you may recall, Mr. Queen was instrumental in raising funds for the new facility during the 4th of July celebration. After nearly drowning in the dunk tank in the name of charity, it was only right the Mayor be the one to lift the first spade.
If only it had been as simple as shoveling some dirt for the press.
At the insistence of the animal shelter's director and the Mayor's press secretary (those siblings can be pesky creatures), Mr. Queen was persuaded to pose for photos alongside several animals – two greyhounds rescued from a local dog track, a very large cat who'd been found in a dumpster only a month ago, and Fifi.
Due to her aversion to outside people, a shelter employee simply held the small dog in her arms while standing very close to the Mayor during the photo op.
What happened next is a mystery but one minute the dog was calmly in the arms of the animal worker, the next she was sniffing Mr. Queen with vigour. Not long after high pitched barking ensued, Fifi's tail wagging franticly, before she unexpectedly launched herself at the Mayor.
The dog moved quickly and stealthily climbing the Mayor like a tree, happy and content, her small pink tongue darting out to lick him from neck to cheeks, to eyes and even inside his ears and nose.
The photo op was suspended shortly after but not before several hilarious pics were snapped of the man People magazine named one of the North America's hottest politicians brought to heel by a small white dog with undoubtedly the pinkest tongue west of the Mississippi.
Mr. Queen was seen leaving the shelter a short time ago with the dog in tow and the animal shelter director eagerly confirmed to the press that Fifi had indeed been adopted by the Mayor. Speculation as to the animals' sudden love of the Mayor is now running rampant.
But this author is more interested in knowing how the Mayor's fiancé will react to the knowledge he adopted a dog without consulting her.
Let's hope Ms. Smoak is a dog lover. If not, perhaps Mr. Queen will find himself in the proverbial doghouse.