~~~~~~~~~~~~two years later~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Give that back, you asshole!" Hidan ran at an older boy and tackled him. He immediately began punching the boy, only to be pulled off of him moments later by two other kids. "You little punk!" the child that had been tackled immediately began punching Hidan while his friends held the Jashinist in place.
"Let go of him!" the boy turned just in time to be tackled by another child, sending him to the ground in a wave of fists.
"Alright, break it up!" the teacher ran over and separated Kakuzu from the older boy, who now had a bloody nose. "All of you, go to the principal's office immediately!"
"Sorry I got you in trouble, Kuzu," Hidan muttered as the five children sat outside the principal's office, awaiting their doom.
"It's ok, they deserved it," Kakuzu replied, making the Jashinist look up at his friend and smile. The door opened, and immediately the zealot's smile disappeared.
Principal Sarutobi stood over the students, looking at them. "Kakuzu, Hidan, in my office." The other three children snickered, earning a stern glare from the principal as the two second graders filed into his office.
Hidan and Kakuzu quickly took their normal seats; they were practically regulars by now. Sarutobi sighed and walked around to his chair, sitting down and staring at the boys. "Alright, what happened this time?"
"Some bastards made fun of my Jashin dam-"
"With all do respect, Hidan, I'd prefer to her Kakuzu's story. His versions tend to have less swearing." The Jashinist frowned but sat back in his seat, looking at his friend. Sarutobi motioned for Kakuzu to pick up where Hidan had left off. "Ok, we were outside, and these fifth grades punks that have been messing with us lately went up to Hidan and said his religion was fake, and that his parents were just psychos that sacrifice goats."
"They only use squirrels," Hidan muttered.
"I'm going to pretend I never heard that," Sarutobi muttered.
"Anyway," Kakuzu went on, "Hidan got mad and attacked him, they called his rosary trash, he went for their leader, and they ganged up on him! I just stepped in to help even the odds." Sarutobi had to admit, that wasn't hard to do with Kakuzu. The kid was definitely the biggest in his grade, and easily could have taken on two, if not all three, of the children that had attacked the two boys.
"Boys, I'm sorry, but this is the third time THIS MONTH that you two have gotten into a fight. I had to call your parents." Hidan paled and Kakuzu merely shrugged. "They should be here any minute," their principal went on, just as a loud crash was heard coming from the office. "WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!"
"Oh crap," Hidan muttered, sinking down into his seat. "Jashin, please smite me now."
"HIDAN!" the door burst open, revealing the boy's enraged father. "Mind telling me why the hell I got yet another phone call from this bastard saying you got into a Jashin damned fight?!"
"Well now I know where he gets it," Sarutobi muttered as Kakuzu shot him a knowing look.
"Dad, those assholes were making fun of Jashin!"
"Oh." The anger immediately faded from the elder zealot's voice. "Well that's all right then. Just beat the crap out of those dumbasses out school from now on, ok?"
"Hell yeah!" Hidan exclaimed, punching his fist into the air. A moment later, a second man walked into the room. He was tall and had a muscular build, with tanned skin. "Kakuzu?"
"Here dad."
"Um…" the man walked over to the boy, clearly not sure what to do. "Kakuzu, they said you got into another fight-"
"It's ok, I was just protecting my friend, dad. It won't happen again, and I didn't pick this fight."
"Oh. Ok, as long as you learned your lesson…" the man's voice trailed off, still unsure of what to do now. Hidan's father walked over and smiled at the man. "Hello. I guess it's safe to assume you're Kakuzu's old man?"
"Yes."
"I'm Hidan's father. My son's told me a hell of a lot of good stuff about your kid."
"Ok…."
"Hey dad!" Hidan exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Could Kakuzu come over?"
"Only if this bastard doesn't have a problem with it," his father answered, motioning to the taller boy's father.
"…That's fine…"
"YAY!" Hidan cried out, punching his fist into the air.
~~~~~~~~~~~~later that evening~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So this is where you live," Kakuzu muttered, looking at the house.
"Hell yeah!" Hidan opened the door and turned to his friend. "Quit standing there like a dumbass and come in!"
The miser looked around the house in surprise. He'd never been in another person's house before, and the neatness was rather startling. He felt Hidan grab his arm and drag him down a hallway and into a bedroom. Judging from the messiness and various Jashinist symbols scattered everywhere, it was safe to assume that this was Hidan's room. "So, what the hell do we do now?"
"No clue."
"Wanna go play with the crap in the kitchen?"
"Why not?"
~~~~~~~~one disastrous mess later~~~~~~~~~~~
"You two are banned from my Jashin damned kitchen!" Hidan's mother screeched, staring down at the two boys who appeared to be covered in a mixture of popcorn, jelly, and chocolate frosting. "Now please clean up, while I hunt down your bastard of a father and kick his sorry ass for this…" she growled, grabbing a steak knife out of the drain board and wiping off the jelly clinging to it.
The two kids took turns in the shower before changing into their pajamas and returning to Hidan's room. "You think you're dad's ok?"
"Hell yeah. I'd be more worried if the bitch didn't come at him with a Jashin damned knife all the time," Hidan said, smiling happily. "Hey, what the hell's your mom like?"
"Dunno."
"Huh? Whaddya mean, 'dunno'? How can you not know what your mom's like, dumbass?"
"I've never had one. It's always been my dad and me."
"Seriously?" Hidan asked, eyes wide.
"You didn't notice?"
"Guess not. Hey, I've got an idea. Wanna share mine?"
"Hidan, you can't just share parents with someone else."
"Why the hell not?" Hidan asked as he climbed into his bed. "Just keep bringing your ass over here, and pretty soon you'll be part of this Jashin damned family."
"I'm not sure that'll work," Kakuzu replied, crawling into his sleeping bag.
"You think too much, Kuzu," Hidan said, grinning at his friend.
"Night Hidan."
"Night dumbass."