Happy I updated? You better freakin be! I had a lot of help with this one, from one of my besties Jacky, aka lionlambluv. She translated all the "Brüno speak" for me. So a big thank you to her and check out her stories, and also my other bestie's Tomboy Amy. Both are amazing authors and friends =D Btw, the song I am listening to is You Found Me by the Fray. Great band. Trust me.

Disclaimer: Disclaimed.

Prank Calls

Chapter 3: Brüno and Charlie

Edward's POV

After we had called Tyler, all of us were bored and we couldn't figure out what to do. Not that I minded though, I was content to just sit there with my angel in my arms all night. But then of course my dumbass brother got an idea.

And it wasn't Emmett, no. It was Jasper. He was supposed to be the good one! He was lying with his head in Alice's lap on the couch and she was playing with his hair, when he suddenly sat straight up so fast he slid off the couch with a dull THUD.

He didn't even look fazed and with a mischievous smirk directed at me he said, "I got an idea."

Crap.

Rosalie's POV

I was just sitting on the couch with Emmett's arm around me and me tracing his huge biceps, waiting for him to get another dumb, yet funny, idea. Needless to say I was surprised when Jasper had an idea first.

And it was for Edward.

I think I'm going to like this one.

Jasper's POV

I had my head on Alice's lap, cultivating my soon-to-be-awesome-plan. Haha, I had an Emmett moment.

When I had finally thought up my plan to hopefully get Edward in trouble, or at the least have a very awkward moment conversation with the girls' father, I sat up and fell off the couch, but I didn't even care because I was so excited.

"I got an idea," I said, smirking at Edward. He looked scared and angry. I snorted and got on my knees with my hands up, palms faced forward.

"Okay okay, listen. Edward here," I paused to wink at him and he scowled. I grinned and continued. "Calls Charlie-"

"What?! Come on! I can't prank call Charlie! What if he uses his tazer on me or something? I can't do-" Emmett cut him off by covering his face with a pillow, effectively suffocating him.

"Shush Eddie! Jazzy's trying to talk!" he said, shushing Edward with a finger to his lips.

"Emmett!" Alice exclaimed. He looked at her innocently.

"What?"

"He can't breathe!" she shouted. At this point Edward was thrashing his arms, trying to knock the pillow off his face. Emmett gasped and pulled it away, revealing a very distraught looking Edward. Bella flew to him and fluttered her hands about him, trying to find a way to help but coming up empty.

"Wha-what the hell Emmett?! I could have died!" he yelled.

"Oh pish-posh-poppycock!" he gasped and giggled hysterically. "BAHAHAHA, I SAID COCK!" Rose smacked him. "Owie…" he pouted. Edward sent one last glare at him before they all turned back to me. I stared at Emmett and shook my head.

"Okay, so as I was saying," I said, throwing Edward a pointed look before continuing. "Edward calls Charlie, uses and accent so he won't get caught, and that's it! Shouldn't be too hard!" I reasoned. Edward started to say something.

"Ok-" I cut him off.

"BUT! Oh yeah baby there's a catch," I said and winked. "You have to use an accent from a movie that you saw recently." I finished and smiled. Edward looked hopeless. Then he turned hopeful.

"What if I haven't seen any movies with accents?" he asked. Alice groaned.

"What do you mean no movies with accent?! In every movie there is at least one type of accent! Just pick one and make the call!" she shouted, exasperated whilst thrusting the phone at him. He caught it easily.

"Jeez, okay okay Alice," he turned to me and whispered quietly, "Damn dude keep your girl under control, she's having a total bitch fit!" but he didn't whisper quietly enough and Alice heard.

"WHAT?!" she screeched. Edward sighed.

"Don't pretend you didn't hear me. You're basically an elf, and everybody knows they have incredible hearing. What with those ears and all," he shrugged nonchalantly. All of us were openmouthed and staring, except Alice who seemed to be considering which ways could hurt Edward the most. He was still over there chuckling. That is until he turned and saw her enraged expression. He rolled his eyes.

"Come on Alice it was just a j-" she leaped at him, clawing his face.

"Holy crap! What's wrong with you?! Jasper, help me!" Edward shouted. I reluctantly pulled her off of him, with much difficulty. Edward was tentatively probing the side of his face where there were small scratch marks on it. Alice meanwhile was pouting in my arms. I nudged her and motioned to Edward with my head when she looked up. She turned to him and looked a little guilty. I think she was just about to apologize when Edward had to open his fat mouth.

"Damn Alice, seriously, what was up with that? Are you PMSing or something? Because normally you don't go around going feline on people's faces. Unless I missed some new memo…" Emmett laughed loudly at his bold remark.

"Why do they call it PMS anyway?" Emmett asked. Rosalie came up with a quick answer.

"Because as soon as you say it to a girl you're PMS: Pretty much screwed," the girls laughed. Edward tsked.

"No no no, you have it all wrong," they looked at him in disbelief and anticipation. He grinned and said, "It's because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!" he said and busted into loud, chortling laughter. Emmett and I were flabbergasted. (A/N: HA! That word is so funny! XD) It was funny but that was just stupid to say with all those girls in there.

Emmett signaled for us to get out of the line of fire. We knew he had just metaphorically dug his own grave.

I slowly removed my arms from around Alice's waist and backed up over the top of the couch. Emmett was doing the same with Rose. When we got to the back of the couches we peeked over the tops so only our heads' from our eyes up were showing.

Edward noticed our absence and looked at us strangely.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked dumbly. We cautiously pointed at the fuming girls. He looked and immediately jumped up apologizing, but not before running behind Emmett for cover. Then Emmett jumped up with a little scream and ran over to me behind my couch. Edward followed and Emmett started to get scared.

"Eeeek! Get away get away get away! It's your turn to die, not mine! I'm too young and beautiful!" Emmett yelled, running in circles, trying to get away from Edward who was still trying to hide behind him. Alice, Rosalie, Bella, and I were laughing really hard when Edward took a flying leap onto Emmett's back, effectively knocking him over.

"Come on Emmett, dammit, just let me hide behind you! DAMMIT!" Emmett was trying to poke him in the eyes while Edward had him pinned to the ground. Edward kept doing the Three Stooges move, putting his hand between his eyes so Emmett's fingers couldn't reach his face.

"Oh hell!" Emmett exclaimed. He opted to use both of his hands instead of just the one. Needless to say, Edward wasn't too happy about having his eyes poked.

"Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow! All I wanted to do was hide behind you and you try to take out my corneas! I'm blind! Oh, well at least now I don't have to look at your face anymore…" Emmett gasped and slapped his head. Edward yelped and grumbled whilst starting to rub his head. The girls and I were in hysterics watching them.

"You better damn well be honored that you get to even glimpse this beautiful masterpiece," Emmett said, framing his face. The girls had tears streaming down their faces. I managed to regain my composure. Somehow.

"All right, are we going to do the call or not?" Emmett shoved Edward off of him and ran over to me, jumping up and down like a happy five-year-old. Edward reluctantly followed and sat down on the couch beside Bella and put on a brave face.

"Hell yeah, let's do this bitch."

Well okay, that took me forever. I'm not good at writing this mindless stuff lol. But this is just part 1 of Brüno and Charlie, part 2 is the actual call. I probably won't be updating this for a hella long time, Ima mostly be working on A New Family, New Friends, and a New… Love?, my main story. So yeah, if you haven't read it yet, go and read it plz cuz it's a hella lot better than this one =D

Review if you want me to update! =D

Love,

Locketful o' Heartache