A/N: I changed some things in the storyline, like when stuff happens and stuff like that.

When I wake up, Merrill isn't in my lap anymore and I am damn hungry. I stumbled into the kitchen, still only half awake, to find Hawke sitting at the table and a place set for me. Upon my questioning look, she explained,

"I heard you wake up. I figured I'd set a place for you and we could talk. You probably have some questions, as do I."

I sit down, lean back in my chair, say a quick prayer to Talos, and dig into the food. Hawke is a good cook. "You ask first," I say with my mouth full of food, "you're the guest."

She leans back in her chair, swings her legs up on the table, and burps. Then she asks, "What's the beef with your husband?" The Nord Mead I'm drinking almost sprayed out of my mouth, but I quickly swallow it.

"I have no husband. I'm single. And I aim to stay that way."

"Oh?" Hawke says, "Then who is Kalder to you? And why do you wish to remain alone?"

"Oh, Kalder? You thought he was my... oh, no, not him!" I laugh. "Kalder is my housecarl. I can't really kick him out. And as for remaining alone... Well, I have certain" I pause for a moment, trying to find the right word, "duties, and, er, difficulties, that I can fix better without a husband to support." Hawke nods and sips her mead.

"I understand that. What's a housecarl?" I sighed, not really knowing how to explain. I think for a moment.

"A housecarl is a member of the Elite Militia. They're trained in the Elite Militia to be bodygaurds, if you will, for thanes and high nobles. I have little use for him, but my case is special. He's a bit stuck up, if you know what I mean. You'd think he was an Imperial, not a Nord. What about you," I ask, not wanting to further explain all the little details of society, "Where's your husband?"

Hawke sniggers. "How do you know I don't have a wife?" I narrow my eyes, and think for a moment. "You just don't seem the type."

"I guess Fenris is the closest I have to a husband. We've never actually said our vows, though. It's easier like this. There are many, many processess you have to go through, lots of papers to be signed, the signed approval paper of at least one parent, and both of ours are gone, you have to swear by the Maker you will stay with your significant other forever, and I won't do that."

"You won't do what?" I ask, "Stay with him or swear by the Maker?"

"Swear by the Maker." she spits out. "The Maker has done nothing good to me, why should I take vows by him?"

"What has th Maker done to you to make you so angry at him?" I ask, interested by her spite.

She swings her feet off the table and pulls up her chair, so she's looking me straight in the eyes.

"The supposedly good and gracious Maker has given me magic. In my land, that means you run, forever or you die. The wonderful Maker took my Father away when I was just fifteen. The ever loving Maker has cursed my homeland with a Blight, corrupting my home and taking my friend Mahariel away to die to end it. He sent the vile darkspawn to my village, to my home, so they could destroy it, and while we were running, an ogre took my only sister and pounded her on the ground, and I will always hold that knowledge that I could have stopped it." Hawke was almost shouting now, "He took my family and dumped in a slum, forced me to venture down into that fucking cursed pit, where the only brother I had, the only sibling that was left, died a monster! I had to put the blade through his heart!" She screamed, tears threatening to drop from her eyes. I tried to calm her down, but it was to late. "

"And then, my Mother was captured by a man who violated and murdered her, who resurrected her because she reminded him of his dead wife. She died in my arms! I was too late! I failed her!" Just then, Fenris came thundering down the stairs and put a needle through her arm, injecting her with a clear, bubbly liquid. She went limp in his arms.

"She has led a very hard life for someone as young as her. Sometimes she needs sedatives to ensure she does not go into a frenzy and harm people." He explained.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's not your fault." Fenris reassured me, laying her down on the couch to sleep the drugs off.

It felt like my fault.