A/N – This chap is really nothing special. There isn't a lot of actions, but it's still important to understand how our heroes feel ^^
Chapter 3: Feelings
Few months have passed since the New Year. Both Shikamaru and Temari continued their separated lives in Konoha and Suna. Pretending like nothing ever happened. Like they never kissed. Liked they never slept together. But as time passed, they both remembered what happened on that day. Their memories were revived. And they started to recall all the details. Which made the situation even worse.
Temari was never a gentle person. She was tough, strong and independent. She was raised that way, to always look out for herself, and to never need anyone. Like a desert flower. She didn't know what bonds are. Yes, she had two brothers. And she loved them. But the three of them never developed a real bond. They barely talked to each other about the feelings and stuff that really matter. Temari of Suna was a strong woman, who was raised to be one of the guys. Tomboy. She has explosive temperament and wild personality. She tells what she thinks. Speaks her mind. Never lies. But she never knew what love is. What it can be. And she never knew how to deal with feelings. Because when you are a ninja, you can't have feelings. And that's exactly what her father taught her when she was a little girl. Never let feelings rule with your mind. Follow your senses, mind and guts. But never feelings. But yet, she was still a woman. Craving for love. She didn't knew that. And even if she did, she would never confess it to herself, let alone somebody else. But she was still a person, born with a need to love, and never outgrew it. That was a fact that she was always trained to deny.
Shikamaru was kinda different. He was independent as she was, and even more smart than she was. Brilliant genius. But for him, everything was a drag. Unlike Temari, he did have bonds. And relationships with his friends. And he did know what love is. At least he had a little perspective to it. Shikamaru did know how to deal with his feelings. He was always considered as a guy with no emotion, because of his outstanding IQ, but it wasn't like that. He had emotions. And he was enough brave to confess it, to himself. You could say that the biggest difference between the two of them was the fact that he acknowledged existence of feelings and she didn't. But, what was the thing both Shikamaru and Temari had in common? The fact that they are both humans, born with the need to love and be loved. Only, she denied that pure fact. She thought of herself like a cold and dark person. And Shikamaru simply just envied clouds because they are so carefree and feelings are troublesome. But at least he accepted the existence of feelings.
Now, after few months from their little adventure, both of them managed to handle everything in their own way. They would just try to ignore the whole thing, hoping that the memory will disappear and fade away. But even that way, both of them, couldn't help but think of that sometimes. It would usually be the time when they go to bed, and just right before they fall asleep. They would remember. And sometimes even think of each other, wondering if there is something more behind everything. When they caught themselves thinking of each other, they would both laugh and think how ridicules that was. Shikamaru would tell himself that it's all troublesome and he doesn't want to think of that. And Temari would say that it's childish. And that would happen every night.
Also, one feeling that both of them refused to accept was hunting them along with those memories and flashbacks. Some warm feeling in their stomachs, whenever they thought of that night or each other. The wishing and craving to meet again. To clear everything up. To define feelings and the meaning of them. That was what they wanted deep down inside. But they were both so stubborn to accept their own wishes. They found it ridicules thinking of all those things.
Temari simply refused to believe that she wanted to see him again. To talk to him. She refused to explore the feeling of warmth that she would have whenever he came across her mind. For her, falling in love with him wasn't an option. She would tell herself how idiotic that was. But actually, she was just afraid. Afraid of the fact that she might develop a feeling for him. Because she didn't know how to handle feelings. And she didn't want to have feelings. So she kept believing it was just a stupid and insignificant thing. And sometimes, she even prayed that it wasn't true. But as more as she tried to repress it, the stronger feeling it became.
And as for Shikamaru… She was troublesome and she was a pain in his ass. And he couldn't allow himself to even believe that he might develop feelings for that woman, let alone to actually have them. He had the same feeling as she did. And he too, tried to ignore it. Every night he would break his head thinking and trying to figure out solution to his problem. He tried to figure out what can that feeling be, because he didn't want to believe he liked her and missed her. It wasn't a good option. In fact, it wasn't an option at all. It was a worst case scenario. Something that must not be truth. Although it actually was. He couldn't get her out of his mind. It was such a drag for him. As more he fought the feeling, the more intense it became. And with that crazy brain of his, it didn't take him long to realize that he liked her and missed her for real. But he still didn't want to believe that's the truth.