My disclaimer
I know Disney owns "Kim Possible"...lock, stock, and Rufus. Before I get done, I will probably tick off a few more studios, too. If they want to sue me, they have to get behind all my other creditors. Since I am in south Florida, the line has formed to the right and goes all the way to Sacramento!
To all readers:
1) Because of the "hurry-up-and-wait" aspect of 'The Amazing Race', some of the dialogue may read like a play's script, the rest may read like a normal story. I am sorry, but it's the only way to preserve the pacing of the story to match that of a standard 'Amazing Race' episode.
2) The departure times, seat availability, and duration of flights are completely fictional—Please do not waste your time trying to correct me by using info from travel sites and various brochures. We are dealing with cartoons here, remember?
3) Unless I get a lot of requests to do so, the opening theme sequence will only be posted in the first chapter and referenced back to it throughout the rest of the story.
4) Definition of 'shiksa', according to Webster's: "Function: noun…(often disparaging) a non-Jewish girl or woman."
5) I have heard of some unscrupulous fiends who make one or two changes to a chapter, then list it as updated. This would put the story at the head of the search line and subject to more "hits". Yes, I needed to make a change to correct the 'check-in' time for one of the teams. While my taste in women has been sometimes questionable, my sense of ethics has been, is, and always will be fundamentally sound. I try not to steal other people's story ideas (if possible) and I try to follow any submission guidelines set before me. Thus, I decided to wait until I finished this chapter to go back and make that correction. I hope this does not cause any confusion in any update alerts.
6) I did receive a few reviews questioning the story's placement in the "Kim Possible" category instead of somewhere else. I hoped the intensive focus on Kim & Ron in the last leg took a few steps in justifying its placement. But if it didn't, I think this chapter will add a little more justification, given the open-ended twists and turns that await Team Possible.
7) I only received one review concerning who should come back. The only problem is that he suggested two of the three teams, not just one. I had to use another method of determining who came back…Enjoy!
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(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Previously, on "The Amazing Race"…Feelings got out of control at an 'Intersection' …
…STARFIRE: "Ron is so goofy…so dreamy…so different from any other boys I have ever seen."
KIM: "Robin is such a fantastic fighter! I've finally met a boy my age with the same drive, the same determination, the same passion about saving the world."
RON and ROBIN (on a "split-screen", with matching looks of fuming jealousy, facing towards their partners): "HELLOOOOOO!!! BOYFRIEND!!! RIGHT HERE!!!"
"…Heartache manifested itself as a cruel joke played en route to Cork, Ireland…
KIM: "Ron, I said I was sorry. Every other 'red-blooded' American boy would have loved all that attention from Starfire. How could I know you didn't even notice her?"
RON (glaring at Kim): "But I'm not every other 'red-blooded' American boy. I'm a clueless loser, just like Bonnie has said all these years…But more than that, it's called 'trust', KP. You should have trusted me…like I trusted you!"
KIM: "Ron…"
RON: "Just leave me alone right now, OK?…"
"…but thanks to a pep talk from the Boy Wonder, and a page from the Zorpox playbook, the tables were turned…
…RON: "KP, I'm beginning to see the light."
KIM: "See the light about what?"
RON: "About Robin, silly. I mean, he's so cute, so buff… I mean, he fills in those tights so well. Not everybody could pull offthat fashion statement!"
ROBIN (to Starfire): "You were so right about Ron. He really is as dreamy as you said. And he has one of the purest hearts of anybody I have ever met. I'd really like him to spread some of that 'Ron-shine' my way…You know, I couldn't help but look when he lost his pants at the caber toss today. I mean…those boxers…"
KIM & STARFIRE: "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
RON & ROBIN (giving evil grins to Kim & Starfire): "JINX Right back at ya, girls!"…
"Teams encountered 'Rebirth' at Stonehenge, where each team had to consider which one of the three eliminated teams could return—Charlie & Lucy, Bullwinkle & Rocky, or Brian & Stewie…but only after taming the 18th hole of the famed St. Andrews Old Course…
GERALD: "I AM Tiger Woods!!"
"…In the end, another team was sent packing…
PHIL: "Garfield & Odie…you are the last team to arrive. Although your vote will still count for the 'Rebirth', I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race."
GARFIELD: "Well, that's just great! I had to hack at that stupid ball half the day and this is the thanks I get? I'm calling my agent…"
"Who has been 'Reborn'? What awaits our remaining teams on their quest for One MILLION Dollars?? Find out NEXT!"
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'Amazing Race' opening theme begins... (Please go to chapter 1 for theme sequence)
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So The Reality: 'Amazing Race'-St. Andrews (Leg #3)
(Off-screen of Phil): "This is Scotland, home to kilts, haggis, and the birthplace of golf, St. Andrews Old Course. The luxurious 18th hole was the second 'Pit Stop' in a race around the world…
"…After 'checking in' at the 'Pit Stop', teams stayed for a mandatory rest period to recharge and interact with the other teams; however, this rest period served an additional level of importance."
4:21 PM
All seven remaining teams were giving their final good-byes to Garfield & Odie. While Garfield muttered something about returning to the sand bunker to complete some "unfinished business", all eyes turned to Phil. An envelope was protruding from the left pocket of his khaki-colored safari shirt.
After Phil came within reasonable speaking-voice distance of the teams, he opened the envelope. "Well," said Phil, "the votes are counted and the results are final...we have a three-way tie for second place…" This drew looks of confusion from everybody in attendance.
"…Bullwinkle & Rocky received one vote..." At this point, a replay showed Kim & Ron placing their ballot marked 'Bullwinkle & Rocky' in the wooden box.
"…Charlie & Lucy received one vote…" At this point, footage from Robin & Starfire was shown placing their ballot into the box.
"…and Brian & Stewie received one vote!" Footage of Shaggy & Scooby was shown casting their ballot.
Phil waited for the group to settle down before finishing his announcement. "It seems we had a 'write-in' candidate," declared Phil. "With all five remaining votes, you have selected…'NONE OF THE ABOVE'!!! We saw who voted for the three listed choices, so I have to ask the rest of you…are you proud of yourselves?"
A series of 'in-race' glimpses featured one of the members of each offending team…
GERALD (with Arnold, the only ones to feel guilty for their vote): "We heard some of the other teams talk about it, but I just thought we would do it as a joke."
ELMER: "Why have mowe teams to twy scwewing us up?"
BENDER: "Hah! If it were up to me, I would just take the million and say 'So long, Suckers!' to the whole lot of you meatbags—even you, Fry!"
GARFIELD: "I say, 'Big Fat Hairy DEAL!' We are already out of the race, anyway."
BART: "Hey, Charlie, Rocky, and Stewie…Eat my shorts!"
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(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Okay…I guess the seven remaining teams will resume the race…Robin & Starfire arrived at 2:09 PM. They will depart at…
2:09 AM—Day 4
ROBIN & STARFIRE: "Fly yourselves to…"
2:12 AM
KIM & RON: "Buenos Aires…"
2:32 AM
ARNOLD & GERALD: "… Argentina…"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Teams must fly to Buenos Aires, Argentina, and then travel by marked car 68 miles north to El Ombu de Areco, an estancia (or ranch) known worldwide for the breeding of prized cattle and polo horses. Teams must go to the front gate of the riding stables for their next clue
2:58 AM
BUGS & ELMER: "Each team is given…"
3:04 AM
SHAGGY & SCOOBY: "$250 for this leg…"
3:20 AM
BENDER & FRY: "…of the race…"
3:36 AM
HOMER: "…'Warning…Surprise ahead!!' Not again!"
BART: "Man…that bites!"
A similar sentiment was shared by all seven teams as they arrived at the airport…only to discover it did not open until…
5:00 AM
The teams made a mad dash to the nearest English Airways counter to try booking their flights. After Kim & Ron, Shaggy & Scooby, and Robin & Starfire received their tickets for the 6:35 am flight, the plane was announced as full. The other four teams had to settle for a 7:24 am flight.
During the wait for their flight, Kim noticed there were dozens of pre-teen and teen-aged girls trying to fight their way through the crowds to get closer to the contestants. Many of them were holding pictures of Ron. She was thankful Ron was too engrossed in his breakfast to notice these girls. However, Kim was puzzled as to why the pictures were only of Ron—not Team Possible, not Ron & Wade, just Ron—and maybe three or four of him with Rufus. Just when Kim thought the weirdness scale was at maximum, a flurry of men in blue and green jump-suits whisked every single one of the girls out of the airport.
Ron finally looked up from his morning meal and asked, "KP, did you hear something?" Thankfully that was the moment the PA system announced first call for their flight, so Kim hurried Ron onto the plane.
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Usually, the camera spheres caught footage of teams boarding the planes, but left just before takeoff. For some reason, one of the spheres remained on the plane as it took to the air. This, combined with the events of the past half-hour, were putting Kim into 'Full Battle Mode'. She constantly turned her head in different directions, looking for anything suspicious.
Once the 'Fasten Seat Belts' sign was turned off, Kim pounced into the aisle in a kung-fu fighting stance, ready to start kicking or swinging at anything that came close to her or Ron. Of course, Ron fell asleep shortly after taking his seat, and did not seem to notice the whirling blur of red and black that was Kim in her mission suit.
Luckily for all who dared to share the plane with the paranoid princess, a familiar voice soon came over the intercom…
(Voice of Phil): "Attention 'Amazing Race' contestants…Your clue mentioned more surprises ahead. This one should be pleasant for most of you. With the approval of English Airways, one of our camera spheres has remained on each plane to record any personal messages you wish to send to your loved ones.
"Since this flight will last sixteen hours before our stop-over in Brazil, feel free to take your time and gather your thoughts so you can give the perfect greeting to the folks back home—wherever or whenever they may be. Enjoy your flight, everyone."
This seemed to put Kim at ease enough so she could slump back into her seat. Putting her at ease seemed to put everyone else at ease enough to come out from under their seats and relax for the long flight ahead.
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SHAGGY (sitting with Scooby): "Hey, Fred, Daphne, and Velma! Can you believe it? We are still in the hunt for a million dollars!! Think of all the Scooby Snacks we could buy…"
SCOOBY: "Rheah!"
SHAGGY: "…and maybe you could trade that Mystery Machine in for a new Chryssan 'City & Farm' van with those 'Fold-up' seats and 30 miles to the gallon. Like, that would be sweet!
"But enough about that…We miss you all and hope are ok. Fred, protect the girls from monsters…Velma, protect Daphne from Fred. WE LOVE YOU GUYS!!"
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ROBIN: "Titans…we are still in the race, and we have met new friends…Kim & Ron. Cyborg, when we get back, I think I found someone you can take to Homecoming this fall. She's named BeBee, but I think she has nothing to do with Brother Blood's 'Hive'."
STARFIRE: "Hey, Raven…you asked about my 52-inch TV…Well, you can have it now…Robin & I got new 64-inch San-yo-yos in Scotland for finishing that leg first! Just keep Beast Boy away from the remote, okay?"
ROBIN & STARFIRE: "Stay safe until we get back!!"
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Because their combined "family" consisted of so many people, Kim & Ron agreed to give separate messages. Kim took the camera sphere to the back of the plane for a little privacy…
KIM (smiling): "Hey, Mom, Dad, Nana, Mo, Rufus…you too, 'Tweebs'. Ron and I started off a little shaky, but guess what? We each won a 2008 Toyolet Primmus Hybrid! I don't know about what Ron will do with his, but Mom…I know that van you use to haul the 'Tweebs' to soccer practice is on its last wheels, so I'm giving it to you when we get home. I love you all, but now I gotta talk to Wade for a moment…
"(Face turning serious) Wade, we got a uber-weird sitch, here. A bunch of girls tried to mob Ron at an airport…in Scotland…at six in the morning! What's even stranger was there were these guys in blue and green jump-suits who bulldozed all of those girls out of that airport in a matter of seconds. This is like something straight out of the Twilight Territory! I may not be able to reach you again for your results. If you find out anything, at least tell the producers of this show. Do what you can, okay? Kim out!"
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Once Kim finished her message, she came out with the camera sphere and handed it to Ron. She then gave him another bear-hug and a kiss on the cheek before returning to her seat. Ron then took Kim's place in the back of the plane with the sphere…
RON (smiling broadly): "Hi Dad. Hi Mom. I know you just adopted little Hana a couple of weeks ago, so I hope she is doing ok. (Frowning a little bit) I'm sorry I'm not really being a good 'Big Brother' now, but I hope to make it up to her when I get back. Who knows? If she sees this a few years from now, she may just understand that I could not pass up an opportunity like this.
"How's my little buddy, Rufus? You know I miss you, man. I heard you were going to be on 'Fear Factor' soon. BOO-Yaah!! Just watch your back and make sure that Rogan dude doesn't fear you too much, okay?
"I'm also a little worried about KP. I know I was deep in meditation when I first got on this plane, but I could have sworn she was in 'Full Battle Mode'. Dad, I hope it has nothing to do with my little project you and Sensei helped me with. Since I blew all that Naco money, I figured this would pay for college or maybe that other project, or maybe both! Yes, Mom, I know you told me about your problems with Kim being a 'shiksa' and all, but Rabbi Katz gave his blessing, and nobody I have met at Temple can hold any kind of candle to her.
"(Smiling broadly once again) One other piece of great news…I won a Primmus!!! It's a bon-diggety ride, but I know I can't keep it. Dad, I remember the story from Temple of the man who had an overabundance of material blessings, but was only able to experience God's true love and mercy once he shared his wealth with his suffering neighbor. I've got a rocket scooter now—thanks to Mr. Dr. P and the twins. I don't need a big vehicle like this. I know the Sunshine Spreaders are in need of some 'wheelage' to spread their cheer beyond Middleton to both Upperton and Lowerton. Tell the Spreaders the Ronster will hook them up when I get home. Give my best to Felix and Sensei. Love you all! (waves like a little kid) Wuv ya, Hana…you too, little buddy!"
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11:52 PM (Local time, again)
The Titans stepped off the plane just before Mystery, Inc. and Team Possible. However, Shaggy & Scooby managed to find the marked cars first. All three of these teams got to the clue box at about the same time as the second flight arrived from the transfer point in Brazil…
1:14 AM—Day 5
SHAGGY (reading the blue 'Route Info' slip in the clue envelope): "Pick a number…"
ROBIN: "…to determine the order…"
KIM: "…of who will go first in the next task."
Next to the clue box was a set of tags marked 1-6, along with a tag marked "Last". At this time, Shaggy grabbed tag #1, Kim snatched up tag #2, and Robin pulled tag #3. After the tags were taken, they proceeded to open the familiar yellow pamphlet…
SHAGGY: "Detour…"
ROBIN: "…Herd it…"
KIM: "…or Milk it?"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "A 'Detour' is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this 'Detour', teams must choose between 'Herd it' or 'Milk it'…
"In 'Herd it', teams must ride on horseback and herd twenty head of cattle from a nearby field into one of these corrals. Once the cattle have been counted and the corral gate closed, teams will receive their next clue. Teams who have experience on horses may find this task easy, but the ranch house does not open until 6:00 am…
"In 'Milk it', teams must milk the dairy cows in the adjacent barn. When each bucket is filled, it must be poured into one of these five-gallon urns. Once the urn is filled and sealed, teams will receive their next clue. It may take longer to complete this task, but the barn opens an hour earlier than the ranch house. This may give an advantage to those who catch on quickly.
"Each of the tasks has only two open stations at a time, so it is once again on a 'first-come, first-serve' basis."
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SHAGGY: "Like, let's try the milking, Scoob."
RON: "I remember that round-up we had with your uncle Slim and cousin Joss. It certainly seems easier than trying to milk those cows."
STARFIRE: "Let us try the milking of the cows, shall we?"
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3:56 AM
Bender & Fry pulled tag #4 and chose 'Milk it'.
3:58 AM
Bugs & Elmer took tag #5 and chose 'Herd it'.
4:02 AM
Bart & Homer snatched tag #6 and chose 'Milk it'.
4:05 AM
This left Arnold and Gerald with the tag marked "Last". Once Arnold pulled that tag, one of the camera globes generated a holographic image of Phil…
PHIL: "This is the second surprise of this leg of the race…As regular viewers of our show remember from Season 10, our first leg of that race was a 'double-elimination' leg, with the first elimination going to Bilal & Sa'leed pulling the "Last" tag in China. Since no team was chosen to come back in the 'Rebirth', we added this surprise as a bit of karma as it were. Arnold & Gerald…you have been eliminated from the race."
Upon hearing this, Arnold & Gerald refused to give any interview as they departed from the ranch. The only words they spoke were instructions to their driver to return them to the airport.
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5:00 AM
Mystery, Inc. and the Titans took to their stations in the barn. Shaggy seemed to be catching on rather quickly to the instructions given by the milkmaids 'on-duty' at the start of the task. In the interest of fairness, no further instructions were given…just confirmation as to how full the urn has been filled. Scooby, on the other hand (rather, paw), was not doing so well. He was taking twice as long as Shaggy to fill his bucket…
Starfire & Robin seemed to be doing well, but were only half-done by the time it was…
6:00 AM
Bugs & Elmer took to their horses just before Kim & Ron. Bugs got the hang of riding a horse with no trouble at all. Elmer started wishing Yosemite Sam was paired with Bugs for this, as he was completely clueless about being on a horse…
ELMER (while riding, bouncing all over the saddle): "W-w-w-w-h-h-h-y-y-y-yd-i-i-i-i-d-d-d-n-n-n-'tw-w-e-e-et-t-w-w-y-y-yth-th-th-them-m-m-m-i-i-i-l-l-l-k-k-k-i-i-i-n-n-n-g-g-g??? (Sub-title on the screen shows, 'Why didn't we try the milking?')"
…Kim was ready to roar out to the pasture to herd the cattle. Ron just took a few seconds first to talk to his horse. Then he galloped fast enough to pass Kim and reach the cattle first. He whispered something into the ear of one of the cows, who passed it on to another cow…and another…and another…and so on…and so on…until the cows lined up into four rows of five and ran straight to the corral. Kim was so surprised at this turn of events, she barely had enough presence of mind to lock the corral door after the last row filed into it. Once the ranch-hand counted the cattle, his hand was shaking in fear as he handed the clue to Ron…
RON (triumphantly, during an 'in-race' interview): "MOO-Yah!!"
KIM (completely in shock): "I'm still trying to figure out how in the world he did that."
RON (turning to Kim): "Remember when I was the 'Roach Whisperer'?"
KIM (starting to feel a little queasy): "Ugh! Don't remind me!"
RON: "But KP, I recently discovered I could communicate with all kinds of animals that way. Maybe that's how I understand Rufus so well!"
KIM (softening her face and smiling): "You are just full of surprises, aren't you?"
RON: "Yeah…almost as many as this race. Can you believe it? Only six teams are left, and we haven't even been any further east than Scotland. We're dropping like flies out here."
KIM (rolling her eyes, but still smiling): "And we're back to the bugs again!"
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6:15 AM
RON (reading from the clue): "Hold your horses…"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Teams must ride on the horses provided to the marked fence on the other side of the pasture, where they will receive their next clue."
RON: "Caution…'Yield' ahead…"
Ron gave a slight tap on the reigns and motioned Kim to follow him to the fence mentioned in the clue. Next to the clue box was a big yellow 'Yield' sign, with an hourglass on its own shelf.
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "This is one of only three 'Yields' throughout the entire race. At a 'Yield', any team may force any other team to turn over this hourglass and wait for it to finish running out of sand before proceeding to the next task. Each team can only use their 'yield' power once during the entire race—so they must us it wisely.
"If a team is 'Yielded' but still have other teams trailing them when their 'Yield' ends, they could still 'Yield' any of those teams."
6:20 AM
KIM: "We choose not to 'Yield' anybody at this time. (opens up clue envelope and finds the familiar red pamphlet) 'Road Block…Who wants a roll in the hay?' Hmmm… (Looks and sees numerous rolled-up bales of hay) I'll still take this one!"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "A 'Road Block' is a task only one team member may perform…and no team member can perform more than 6 'Road Block' tasks during the course of the race…
"In this 'Road Block', one team member must pick a rolled bale of hay from this grid of 100 bales. After the bale is picked, that team member must get their next clue by unrolling the bale. All of the bales contain a clue envelope. To make things a little more interesting, only 24 of these 100 envelopes hold an actual clue inside. The other envelopes hold a slip of paper with the message 'Try Again!'. If the team member gets that message, they have to choose another bale and resume the search for the next clue."
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6:22 AM
…Just as Kim was starting to choose her first bale, Shaggy & Scooby finished their five-gallon urn, retrieved their clue, and began to ride out to the hay pasture. Bender & Fry took their place at the milking stations… At the same time, Bugs was trying to untangle Elmer from his saddle and reigns so he could face forward while riding…
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6:24 AM
…Starfire finished filling the five-gallon urn and grabbed the clue for the Titans. Bart & Homer began their milking quest in the barn…
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6:27 AM
…Kim was nearly finished unrolling her first bale when Shaggy opened his clue…
SHAGGY: "We will not 'Yield' anyone at this time."
…'Ooof…this is a lot heavier than I imagined,' Kim thought. 'It always feels so light when I land in it to dive out of the way of an attack.' At least she found the envelope in her bale before Shaggy finished putting on the gloves supplied by the ranch-hands for all contestants. Kim opened the envelope to discover…'Try Again!'…
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6:29 AM
…Kim was half-way finished with her second bale when Shaggy began his first bale. This was when Robin & Starfire approached the clue box…
STARFIRE (to Robin): "That mean Bender needs to be taught a lesson."
ROBIN: "But Star, we're the good guys, remember?"
STARFIRE: "Yes, but you were not the one back at the rest area he told to bite his shiny metal—"
ROBIN (interrupting Starfire): "We 'Yield' Bender & Fry." (Places 'Bender & Fry' picture in the 'Yielded' area and their picture in the 'Yielded By' square on the board.)
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6:32AM
…Bugs & Elmer finally get the hang of herding the cattle and grouped the cattle into the corral. After the ranch-hand counted the 20 head of cattle, he gave Elmer their next clue…As Fry was finishing up his first bucket, Bender changed his hands into a milking machine. Within minutes, he managed to fill up the rest of the urn and grab the clue for Team Futurama…Starfire started on her first bale, just as Kim picked up the envelope from the second bale, opened it, and found the same thing as Shaggy after his first bale…'Try Again!'…
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6:36 AM
…At this point, Kim was on bale #3, Shaggy was on his second bale, Bender & Fry turned over the hourglass to begin their 'Yield', Bart & Homer were about one-third done with their five-gallon milk urn, and Bugs & Elmer were opening their 'Road Block' clue…
BUGS: "We ain't gonna 'Yield' nobody now, Doc."
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6:39 AM
…Kim finished her third bale at the same time Shaggy finished his second bale, Starfire finished her first bale, and Elmer began his first bale. Starfire, Shaggy and Kim opened up their envelopes at the same time…
…"Alright!! '…Make your way to the next 'Pit Stop'!!' Let's go, Scoob!"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Teams must now travel on their horses back to the front gate and drive their marked cars to Casa Rosada, Argentina's presidential palace back in Buenos Aires. The first-floor balcony on the building's northern wing is the 'Pit Stop' for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated."
…"Oh, no! 'Try Again?' This is not good!" said Starfire as she ran up to another bale.
…"Another 'Try Again!'?? Arrrrgh!" After Kim picked another bale, she saw a group of girls lined along the ranch's outer perimeter fence. They were all trying to get the attention of Ron, who was still patiently waiting for Kim at the 'Road Block' clue box. Even though they had a different complexion, they were about the same age as those who were clamoring for Ron at the airport in Scotland. This angered Kim so much, she gave the bale a shove hard enough for the envelope to fly out from the bale and hit her in the face. She removes the envelope from her eyes just in time to see the last of the girls being hauled away by a small army of men in blue-and-green jump-suits.
"This is getting ridiculous!!" said Kim as she opened the clue envelope…then smiled and proceeded to ride back to Ron…
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6:45 AM
…Starfire finished her second bale and opened the clue envelope. Her face expressed utter joy and nearly began to fly. However, she remembered the rules against that sort of thing and just ran back to her horse and Robin...
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6:47 AM
…While the 'Yield' hourglass was near the one-quarter mark Elmer finished his first bale. He opened the clue envelope and discovered…'Try Again!'…
ELMER: "Sassafwassan Bwickabwakkin… (Sub-title on the screen shows, 'VIEWERS, YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!!')"
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6:49 AM
…With Team Possible and Mystery, Inc. already on their way to Casa Rosada, and Team Futurama still waiting out their 'Yield', and Elmer working on bale # 2, Bart & Homer were nearly done with their milking task…
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6:53 AM
…Elmer finished his second bale and opened the envelope… "Oooh!!...'Twy Again'!!"
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7:01 AM
…Bart & Homer finished sealed their urn and received their clue…Elmer finished unrolling his third bale and found an actual clue in the envelope. As he and Bugs rode away to the front gate, they passed Bart & Homer coming up to the clue box.
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7:04 AM
…Bart & Homer grabbed their 'Road Block' clue and opened it…just seconds before the sand finished running down from the top portion of the hourglass. This prevented them from being 'Yielded', but Bender was right behind Homer as they raced out to the remaining bales of hay…
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7:06 AM
…Bender convinced the ranch-hands his hands did not require their gloves. He then used the flick of one hand to fully unroll a bale and grab its envelope. It was the only one he needed…
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7:09 AM
…Homer unrolled the first bale and opened the envelope…He was not happy with the results as he began to pick another bale…
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7:15 AM
…While all the other teams were still driving the nearly 70 miles to Casa Rosada, Homer finished his second bale. He opened the envelope, shouted "Woo-HOO", and rode back toward Bart…
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8:03 AM
The sky was bright in Buenos Aires, with only a few small puffy clouds dotting the field of deep blue above. Local bands were playing in the streets near the presidential palace. These bands had to run for their lives as Shaggy's car tore through the last few blocks away from Casa Rosada. Just as the musicians were gathering themselves and resuming their festive melodies, another group of girls were holding up pictures and signs in Spanish professing their love for Ron. Suddenly, another metallic blur zipped within mere feet of bands. Some spectators could have sworn the second blur was actually aiming for the increasing crowd of teeny-boppers. After these two close calls, the band members shed their traditional garb and sported blue-and-green jumpsuits. They proceeded to whisk the group of girls very far, far away from the palace.
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8:05 AM
PHIL: "Shaggy & Scooby…you're team number ONE!" (Shaggy & Scooby hugged each other in relief.)
"…and I've got some good news for you. As winners of this leg of the race, you have received a seven-day cruise aboard the Pacific Duchess courtesy of which you can enjoy after the race."
SHAGGY (during a 'post-race' interview): "Like, Scoob, It's a dream come true…no ghosts…no monsters…and seven straight days of 'All-you-can-eat' goodies!! It doesn't get any better than that!" (Exchanges high fives with Scooby.)
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8:09 AM
PHIL: "Kim & Ron…you're team number two!" (Kim gives Ron a massive hug, with Kim not wanting to let go until she was forced to clear the mat for the next team.)
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8:14 AM
PHIL: "Robin & Starfire…you're team number three!" (Robin & Starfire hold hands and smile as they leave the mat.)
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8:41 AM
PHIL: "Bugs & Elmer…you're team number four!" (Bugs helps Elmer off the mat to get some relief from his 'saddle-sore' condition.)
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8:48 AM
PHIL: "Bender & Fry…you're team number five!" (Fry gives Bender a cigar, which he almost lights—until three guards point their guns at the duo while another guard points to the "No Fumar/No Smoking" sign no more than three feet away from them.)
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8:57 AM
PHIL: "Bart & Homer…you're the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you, you have been eliminated from the race."
BART (during a 'post-race' interview): "Man, this really bites! Over half the teams are gone and they only ran three legs of the race? Just what is going on here, anyway? Is that 'writer boy' getting too lazy or someth—" (The screen goes black.)
Maybe I am, Maybe I'm not! Maybe you have just gotten too annoying for me, OK? You stopped being funny after Clinton's first term…so Bart, eat MY shorts! (The screen returns to the scene as Bart & Homer leave the mat, not saying another word.)
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KIM (during a 'post-race' interview, away from Ron): "I know what I saw out there. I know Ron is gaining more confidence in his mission skills, he's finally getting the respect he deserves on our missions, and he's gaining more use of his powers. They really came in handy today with the cattle…but what's with all these girls trying to throw themselves at him? Is it because of this new confidence? Is it because they know he's taken now?
"And what in the name of all that is holy is up with those guys in the jumpsuits? I mean, those colors were the same shades of blue and green as…Oh, no…It can't be…Wade told me they were in each in their own top-secret Global Justice 'lock-down' cells! I better keep my eye out for them. Those guys don't seem to want to come close to us, though. I guess I could tell Ron about them if they get any closer, but right now, I need his head in the game more than ever. These 'surprises' are enough to drive the average person up the wall!"
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RON (during a 'post-race' interview, away from Kim): "Wow, I talked to cows today! That was so badical!! I'm glad we got to stay in the race. I thought KP would've had a major hissy-fit if she had to unroll one more bale of hay…
"I'm getting more and more worried about Kim with every passing moment! I mean, she nearly ran over a bunch of people coming to the palace. I know she likes to drive fast, but never reckless. I hope these 'surprises' are not getting to her. I know I have to be the rock in this relationship, but this recklessness and paranoia is really testing my limits…
"On top of all that, I thought I saw more of those people with their lovely signs. I really wanted to keep my project with Sensei a surprise for KP, but I don't know if she can take any more of the race's 'surprises', much less keeping my project under wraps. I better tell her about this right now! (Gets hit by a 50-pound bunch of bananas and glares at a glowing presence in a corner of the room) Okay, okay, Sensei…I will not tell her yet; but please realize I can't keep this back much longer, alright?"
(END CREDITS)
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Author's ending notes:
1) To all the 'Simpsons' fans out there…I am sorry…But if you don't count the movie, you have to agree with my summary of the series, right?
2) I hope my 'in-depth' thoughts of Kim and Ron and open-ended 'cliff-hangers' about Kim's mental health and Ron's 'secret project' with Sensei help justify the story's place in the Kim Possible category.
3) The production of this story, like that for any work of fiction, is solely dependent upon the constructive feedback of its readers. If you like it, I will gladly make more. If you think of ways to make it better, I am always open to suggestions. If you really think it's a piece of garbage, stop me before I strike again!!
Your friend in writing,
The Samurai Crunchbird