Chapter 3 - Liberty and Justice for all
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The day came. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were all sitting behind the defendant's podium.
"Glad to see you all came on time." Said Constable Loney, wearing his suit. Yakko and Wakko were also in nice suits, while Dot wore a fair dress.
"So, when is the crazy old lady gonna show up?" asked Wakko
Dr. Scratchansniff was sitting in the row behind the Warners.
"Vakko! Zhis is not zhe time to say such things!"
"But we don't want to sit here, waiting." Said Dot
"I'm bored already!" Wakko complained
About 10 minutes passed before Miss Terbate entered the courtroom, in what looked like polyester Pants and an old mickey mouse sweater. She had a baseball cap on with duct tape over the front.
"I'm sorry that i'm late! That gentleman in that 2-4-0something or other was very rude! It was only a scratch on his bumper!" she ranted
A lawyer entered the room behind her. The Warners looked over at their opposition.
"Wow. She's not holding back any punches." Said Yakko
Miss Terbate hobbled down the aisle to the Plaintiff's seat. She sat down, and glared over at the Warners. While Yakko and Wakko looked back at her, Dot stuck out her tongue and made a funny face.
(A.N. I imagine the funny face looked like the one Dot made in the "What are we?" segment)
"All parties in the case of Terbate VS Warners please stand." The Bailiff ordered
The Warners stood up, along with constable Loney. Miss Terbate's Lawyer stood up, but Miss Terbate herself stayed put.
"All rise for the honorable Judge Moe-Lester Judymathiswapnerbrown!"
Then walked in a serious looking judge, He sat down at his judge podium, and opened the file that the bailiff had.
"Ok, please be seated. this court is now in session." Judge Moe-Lester continued "Miss Betty Terbate, You are filing a charge against the 3 Warner siblings for an assault which happened at your home on April 20th of this year?" asked the Judge
"Yes I am!"
"Ok, Now, tell me what happened in your home on that day." the judge ordered.
"Well, now, let's see...Oh yes, I got up the other day and then i heard a call on the telephone, And i went to pick it up, and whoever called me hung up! I just knew it had to be those hooligans over there!" Miss Terbate raised her voice.
"Hey judge, can i charge miss terbate with murder?" asked Yakko
"What? why?" asked the judge
"Her testimony's killing me." Yakko replied.
The judge ignored Yakko's plea.
"Constable Loney, Please rise."
Constable Loney stood up.
"Constable Loney, you were the arresting officer on that day?" asked the judge
"Yes sir, I was."
"Can you tell me your side of the story?" asked Judge Judymathiswapnerbrown
"Well, I was out on patrol, it was 4 pm, I was off duty in an hour, when I was flagged by Miss Terbate, claiming that she had been prank called by a bunch of kids. She then guided me over to the Warners, and claimed they did it. We eventually returned to Miss Terbate's apartment, and disovered her phone was out of order, therefore she only thought she was being prank called. I was going to give the Warners a ride home, so i turned to the doorway, and then i heard miss terbate's cries for help. I turned around, and saw she was on the floor. She claimed that the oldest of the Warners, Yakko, pushed her over."
"Which is not true!" Yakko jumped up.
"Yakko Warner, please sit down right away." the judge ordered
Yakko did as he was told.
"Continue, Constable Loney."
"Well, considering Miss Terbate's history of calling for 911 with non-emergency situations, I came to the conclusion that she threw herself over."
"Objection!" Miss Terbate's lawyer stood up "Constable Loney did not see the actual event, therefore, Yakko Warner could have possibly pushed over my client."
"Objection sustained, Mr. Coholic. Continue, Constable Loney."
"Well, Miss Terbate was about 20 feet away from Yakko when she began crying for help, So judging from that, I made the decision that Yakko was innocent. That's all, your honor."
"Thank you, Constable Loney. You may be seated now."
Constable loney walked back to his seat and sat down.
"Now, will the main defendant please rise?" asked the Judge
Yakko got up out of his seat.
"Yakko Warner, I understand you are still a juvenile, So i'm going to keep this simple for you. Did you or did you not push over Miss Terbate?" asked the judge
"No, I did not push over miss Terbate." Yakko was acting dead serious.
"Vow, he's being really serious und behaving today." Dr. Scratchansniff commented a few rows back. Unfortunately, Yakko did not intend to stay serious for long.
"Yakko Warner, You seem like a good kid. What is it that you want in life?"
"Well, money, good health, and Keri Russell in 8 days a week." Replied Yakko
"Aren't you a little young to want a girlfriend?" asked the Judge
"Well, how about from Honey I blew up the kid, She only had a few years on me then."
"Enough, Yakko. You may sit." Said the judge. Yakko went and sat back down with his siblings.
"Felicity then? I'm not picky about the short hair."
"Yakko! Enough! Please sit."
"We were soldiers?"
"Sit!"
Yakko then sat down, but as he sat, he had one last quote.
"Mickey mouse club?"
The judge just ignored Yakko.
"Wakko Warner, would you please rise?" asked the judge
Wakko got up from the chair and approached the podium.
"Now Wakko, I'm going to ask you a few questions."
"How much are they worth? Can I use a lifeline?"
"No, these are interrogative questions, not gameshow questions." the Judge was a little irritated.
"Ok." Wakko calmly replied
"Did you use a telephone to prank Miss Terbate at any time?" asked the Judge
"No sir!" Wakko replied with confidence.
"You swear you didn't?" asked the judge
"No I don't. It's not nice to swear." Wakko replied
"No, no, I mean, you're not lying to me, are you?" the judge wanted to know.
"No lies. Cross my heart, hope to die, hands on Cindy Crawford's thighs."
"Good night everybody!" Yakko blew a kiss to the audience.
"Ok, Wakko, you may be seated." The judge ordered, while Wakko went and sat down.
"Dot Warner, would you please stand up?" asked the judge
Dot then stood up.
"Now Dot, I'm going to ask you the same question I asked your brother, Wakko."
"Ok, but i'm gonna give you the same reply." Dot said
"What's that?" asked the Judge
"That my brother did not push over miss terbate, and we all did not prank call her either."
"Objection!" The lawyer stood up again "The defendant is covering for her brother!"
"Shut up, already zou jerk!" Dr. Scratchansniff actually stood up.
"And who are you?" asked The lawyer
"I'm the Varner's guardian!" Dr. Scratchansniff said
"No wonder these kids are juvenile delinquents, with a father like you."
"I am not zhere father!" Dr. Scratchansniff angrily replied
"Enough!" The judge banged his gavel on the podium.
The whole courtroom went quiet.
"I'm going to discuss this with the jury, we'll be back with the final verdict."
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