Thank you for all your lovely reviews and comments. I delayed this chapter until I'd seen the latest episode, as I wanted to keep my story in line with 'real-time' events – the advent of the new boss and her ultimatum seemed too big a factor to overlook – so this has spoilers for S2E17 (The Red Box).

The Test

Lisbon's Journal: Week 3, Monday

On Friday, after I'd already given you my journal, Van Pelt turned up some very damning evidence and when Cho interrogated the suspect, she confessed almost right away. On the minus side, Jane was right – the killer was a woman. On the plus side, we solved the case the old-fashioned way and without his help, which made me surprisingly happy. It made me realise that I rather resent that Jane closes most of our cases for us. I admire his skills and appreciate that he can solve things that might otherwise remain unsolved, but to be quite honest, having him around doesn't do much for my self-esteem.

My new boss is arriving tomorrow. Madeleine Hightower. Jane teased me about being nervous about meeting her, which I found irritating – but he's right. I am nervous. With Minelli I knew where I stood; where the boundaries were. He hired Jane, so I didn't have to justify his presence so much as downplay the chaos. But with a new boss, who knows? She's bound to start gunning for Jane the minute she gets here. I mean, I would if I were in her shoes. Jane's not exactly the poster boy employee. Even with the best will in the world, he just isn't capable of not making messes. For all he's so smart and often apparently clairvoyant, he doesn't seem to anticipate the messy side-effects of his behaviour, and often seems surprised when he finds his life being threatened or when something goes seriously pear-shaped with one of his stupid plans. Bosses tend not to understand that there is a cost that comes with eccentric brilliance, and in Jane's case, the cost is often very high. How am I supposed to explain that to my new boss and still make a good impression? If she takes a dislike to me, my career is toast. And unlike Jane, my career actually really matters to me. A lot. I've worked hard and sacrificed a great deal to get where I am. So, yeah, I'm nervous. I can't see this going well.

Aside from that, we have a new case today. A very odd one where the dead body somehow came alive again – well, his heart started beating again, but his brain is dead. Of a lot of really weird things I've seen, that's one of the weirdest.

Jane's Journal: Week 3, Monday

Lisbon is writing with a certain stressed fury, so I expect she's telling you about the arrival of our new boss. Lisbon's seriously nervous about her arrival, which I would find very cute if I didn't know that I'm the cause of much of her panic. She's trying to figure out a way to explain me to her new boss in a way that a) doesn't get me instantly fired, and b) doesn't cast her in a bad light. She's desperate to make a good impression on the person who holds the future of her career in her hands – and we both know that Lisbon's career is her whole life. No wonder she's nervous.

I'm not too worried about our new Agent Hightower, however. Once she's here I'll be able to get a read on her and then figure out how best to handle her. Lisbon forgets that I know how to get what I want out of people. She always thinks everything is up to her. I'd try to tell her otherwise, but I know she wouldn't believe me. She's one of those people who always takes responsibility for everyone and everything. It doesn't even seem to occur to her not to. It's both a disarming and a worrying trait. She'll burn herself out eventually, or end up bearing the consequences for something that isn't her fault.

00000

Lisbon knocked tentatively on Dr William's door, half-hoping and half-afraid that she wouldn't be there. Dr Williams invited her in, and, immediately sensing her distress, offered her a seat. Lisbon sat down uncertainly.

"I hope you're not busy. I can come back later," she said.

"Not at all," Dr Williams said reassuringly. "I don't have any appointments this afternoon. What can I help you with?"

Lisbon took a deep breath. "I met my new boss today," she began, then she paused, clearly unsure how to go on.

"Madeleine Hightower. Yes, I met her too," Dr Williams said. "How did it go?"

"Not great. Everything that could go wrong with our latest case went wrong today. Jane insulted someone as usual, which got a warrant we needed turned down by the judge; a suspect escaped, taking an agent's gun in the process. And, of course, since I'm the boss, all of that automatically becomes my fault. It's not exactly the first impression I was hoping to make."

"What did Agent Hightower say to you about it?" Dr Williams prompted when Lisbon stopped again.

Lisbon lifted her eyes to meet those of Dr Williams' and for the first time the doctor got a glimpse of the great vulnerability and despair that Lisbon was experiencing.

"She said that if I can't keep Jane in line, she'll find someone who can," she said softly, a slight sheen of unshed tears making her eyes glimmer. "When she said that Jane was a valuable asset to the CBI, I was so relieved for a moment because I thought she was on our side, but it seems that while he might be irreplaceable, I am not. What am I going to do? Jane will never change – I don't think he could even if he wanted to – so it's just a matter of time before I get fired because of some crazy stunt he's pulled. I've been nominated to be the fall-guy. Am I really so worthless to the CBI?" She dropped her gaze to her lap, trying to regain control over her emotions and not allow her tears to fall.

Dr Williams got up from where she was sitting behind her desk, and came and sat in the chair next to Lisbon's. She took one of Lisbon's hands and tried to get Lisbon to look at her again.

"Agent Lisbon, I think this tactic of Agent Hightower's says less about the value the Bureau might place on you and more about the value that Mr Jane places on you. I'm sure Agent Hightower hasn't the slightest desire to fire you and that she's doesn't think it'll come to that. She clearly believes that what Mr Jane won't do for anything or anyone else, he will do for you. "

"Then she doesn't know him very well," Lisbon said despairingly.

"Maybe she knows him better than you think. However, I do see a flaw in her plan."

Lisbon looked up. "What flaw?"

"Let's say you did get fired because of something Mr Jane did. How do you think he would react to that?"

"He'd be upset."

"That's how he would feel, but I'm asking what he would do? Somehow I can't see him coming meekly in to work the next day and behaving perfectly for his new boss, can you?"

Lisbon suddenly smiled. "Not without a lobotomy of some kind."

"So what do you think he'd do?"

"Most likely he'd threaten to quit unless they reinstated me," Lisbon said, thinking it through. "Or he might just behave so horribly with the replacement that they'd be forced to bring me back as the lesser of two evils."

"Or he would actually quit," Dr Williams suggested. "Or he might simply stop coming to work and spend his time with you instead."

Lisbon looked doubtful. "The Red John case is too important to him for him to actually leave. Though he might well go on strike." She smiled a little at the thought.

"So it's safe to say that he wouldn't take it lying down?" Dr Williams said.

Lisbon's grin broadened. "Nothing would stop Jane from lying down. But you're right – firing me would be the worst possible way to try to get him to behave better in the future. He doesn't respond well to that kind of bullying tactic." Her smile faded. "But just because it's a poorly thought out plan, doesn't mean I won't still get fired."

"I think you need to talk to Mr Jane about this. He's the one who is being tested here. Agent Hightower is lobbing the ball into his court and waiting to see what he will do with it. This isn't really about you at all, I'm afraid. You really should discuss it with him."

"What is there to say?"

Dr Williams smiled at her. "Plenty, I would think. But this affects both of you and it will have an impact on your relationship. It's important that you at least broach the subject."

Lisbon looked doubtful. Dr Williams patted her hand.

"I'm very pleased that you felt you could come and talk to me about it, though. You asked in your journal last week whether I was going to make you keep writing until you finally cracked and started talking about the things that really bother you." She smiled at Lisbon. "I think this is a very good start, but I think that journaling is something you should do long-term – even when you're no longer doing it for me. It's a wonderful tool for working through your feelings in a simple, safe way. You're not a person who readily confides in anyone, so perhaps making journaling a lifelong habit is a sensible alternative. After all, there will always be things you'll be needing to work through, and you will probably always resist talking to anyone."

Lisbon nodded and stood up. "Thank you for your help, Dr Williams," she said, holding out her hand.

Dr Williams shook her proffered hand and smiled at her. "Any time, Agent Lisbon. That's what I'm here for."

After Lisbon left, Dr Williams sat thinking about her and her latest predicament. It seemed very harsh that Lisbon should now have to worry about the safety of her job on top of all the other things she'd had to deal with that year. However strong she appeared to be on the surface, Dr Williams believed that underneath Lisbon was actually very gentle, fragile and vulnerable. She poured herself unreservedly into her job and her colleagues and if they were taken away from her, she'd be lost.

Dr Williams felt unprofessionally angry on Lisbon's behalf. She'd taken a great liking to the young woman and had recognised early on that Lisbon, although she was justifiably so afraid to trust anyone, nevertheless very badly wanted to find someone to trust. The fact that she had come to her now in a moment of personal crisis bore this theory out. It didn't surprise her at all that Jane, who, of course, could see through Lisbon's surface persona, would find her so irresistibly appealing. She was searching for something that even she couldn't define, and he wouldn't be a man if he didn't instinctively want to be the one to help her find her answers – preferably in him.

Dr Williams felt deep concern for both Jane and Lisbon – they had the potential both to rescue each other and destroy each other, and she was very worried that the latter option had the greater chance of happening. Their lives just seemed intent on producing ongoing chaos and disaster. She sighed. She wished there was more she could do to help.

Lisbon's Journal: Week 3, Tuesday

Less than an hour after I saw you, the warrant that I needed was delivered to my office – Agent Hightower made it happen. Admittedly there are both advantages and disadvantages to having a boss skilled in political intrigue and power play.

I don't think Jane knows about Hightower's ultimatum yet, as he hasn't had his little one-on-one meeting with her yet. I'm going to wait and see if he says anything. I know, I'm a coward.

Jane's Journal: Week 3, Tuesday

Something's up with Lisbon. I know the case had a few glitches today (only one of which was my fault), and she had to meet her new boss in the midst of it all and try to explain/justify the mess, but I feel like there's something much bigger than that going on with her. She seems unusually tense and distressed, even for her. She hasn't said anything to me about it (as usual), but I'm fairly sure something serious happened between her and Hightower and I'd bet good money that it has to do with me. She really needs to learn that she doesn't need to fight my battles for me – not that I don't appreciate it, but I'm sure I'll be able to handle Hightower. She's asked to see me first thing in the morning, so I guess I'll find out then.

00000

Jane's Journal: Week 3, Wednesday

So, now I know what was bothering Lisbon. No wonder she was so upset. What am I supposed to say to her? How can I reassure her that only over my dead body will she ever be fired because of me. I know how much her job means to her. I wouldn't do that to her. I know I'm a selfish idiot a lot of the time, but I do have limits, and this is one of them. Minelli made it easy – he said if I screwed up he'd protect the team and throw me to the wolves. I had no problem with that, since the wolves don't scare me. This Hightower on the other hand... she's sneaky. Tricky. And good at reading people and their relationships. She spotted right away that Lisbon is my weakness.

Still, her plan doesn't really hold up too well under scrutiny. She can't tell me that I'm too valuable to lose and then not expect me to take advantage of that. All I have to say is that I won't work my magic for the CBI unless I have Lisbon by my side working her brand of magic. I haven't done that yet, because Hightower and I have just engaged in a rather intriguing game of chicken and I need to let it play out if I want to work it best to my (and Lisbon's) advantage. I've already tested the waters – I did one of my not-exactly-above-board plans (without Lisbon's knowledge), and Hightower caught me at it. She told Lisbon that her butt was on the line, which is rather silly since she knew Lisbon had no knowledge of what I was doing. I just wanted to give Hightower a little demonstration that she is no more able to control me (even with her threats against Lisbon) than anyone else. I think I proved my point. Game on.

I do feel bad for Lisbon, though. We haven't talked about any of this, though we spent most of the evening together and talked about everything else. I figure my brand of reassurance won't go down especially well with Lisbon. My main concern is that Lisbon might actually believe that it's perfectly fair that she be held responsible for me and everyone else. She does tend to default to martyr mode. I wish she'd rage against the machine rather. That would be a much healthier reaction, in my opinion.

Hightower has even picked up on Rigsby and Van Pelt's relationship (she really is very good!), and told Lisbon that since she hadn't done anything about it, she (Hightower, that is) was going to have to do it for her. Poor Lisbon. All her past kindnesses are now coming back to haunt her. On the plus side, at least the Rigsby Van Pelt thing isn't her problem any more. I know that was stressing her out somewhat.

Lisbon's Journal: Week 3, Wednesday

Hightower has also made the connection about Rigsby and Van Pelt. I knew that was a ticking time-bomb. Now she must have an even lower opinion of my leadership skills than she had before. Maybe she's right. Maybe I'm not right for this job. My team is a mess and these last few months I haven't been at my best. Everything is spiralling a little out of control. Of course, Minelli left us in the lurch at the worst possible time, which made my job a lot more complicated, but that's no excuse. I could have risen to the challenge, but I didn't. I failed the test, and now it's payback time. And you know what they say about payback...

Clearly Hightower told Jane this morning the same thing she'd told me. And what did he do? Turned right around and did something which, if it had gone wrong, would have been adios my career. And did he apologise to me? Talk to me about it? Seem sorry? Say it was all a part of some larger master plan of his and not to worry my pretty little head about it? Nope, none of the above. Although he did try to make it clear to the aggrieved party that I had nothing to do with it (like that's going to help). What can I say? Clearly I'm screwed. I guess I'd better start working on my CV and thinking about alternative career options.

Jane has been hovering about my office all evening, though. He's taken up residence on my couch. Is that Jane for 'you don't have to worry, Lisbon, I'm in your corner'? Or is he just trying to spend as much time with me as he can before it's too late?

00000

On Thursday morning Lisbon arrived at work even earlier than she usually did. Despite all the good reasons she had to lose heart and throw in the towel, Lisbon was a fighter, and she didn't plan to go down without a fight. She intended to get on top of things and impress her boss, even if it was (apparently) a pointless exercise. She wanted to be judged on her own merits, not Jane's demerits.

The first thing she noticed when she entered her office was the journal lying on her desk. Although she was convinced that she had carefully put her journal in her briefcase and taken it home, the evidence to the contrary was lying starkly in the middle of her desk. Horrified, she dropped what she was carrying, grabbed the journal and flipped it open. Her eyes had absorbed a line of Jane's flowing handwriting before her brain caught up with her and she slammed the journal closed again. Jane's journal. Jane's journal was lying in the middle of her desk. Why? Had he left it there? Did that mean he wanted her to read it? Judging by the line she'd already read, she doubted it. But how else could it have got there if he hadn't put it there? Was it some kind of test?

She badly wanted to read it. This man held her job – her whole life – in his hands and hadn't even bothered to talk to her about it. Didn't she have a right to know what he was thinking? Even if she just read yesterday's entry. Wasn't it only fair? He always poked around in her head and invaded her privacy. If their roles were reversed, he'd read her journal without hesitating.

She stood holding his journal in her hands for several long minutes, wrestling with her conscience. The line she had seen was repeating itself over and over in her brain: "All that passion and intensity and fire and intelligence and humour and charm and beauty... I am a mere mortal, after all." Although she was sure he was talking about her, she hadn't seen the line that led into that sentence, and not knowing the context was driving her crazy. But if she started flipping through the journal trying to find that line, she would then see other things that would drive her crazy, and she'd end up reading the whole thing. She knew she couldn't do that.

She put the journal into her out-tray, collected her things from floor where she had dropped them, and resolutely got started on her work. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever done.

Jane wandered into her office about half an hour later, bearing a fresh cup of coffee and wearing a cheerful grin.

"Trying to impress Hightower, I see. The early bird catches the worm, and all that."

Lisbon glared at him.

"Why did you leave your journal on my desk? Did you want me to read it, or was it just some bizarre test of my integrity?"

Jane, to her surprise, paled slightly.

"My journal was on your desk?" he said, looking genuinely thrown.

She pointed to her out-tray, and Jane leaned over, picked up the journal and opened it to check that she wasn't just playing him to see his reaction.

"I didn't read it," she said, still sounding thoroughly annoyed. Evidently fighting temptation made her cranky. "If you didn't put it there, who did?"

Jane thought back to the previous evening. He had been so busy concentrating on Lisbon that he hadn't been thinking much about his journal. He'd put it on the floor beside her couch while he was talking to her... and that was the last he remembered of it.

Looking embarrassed, he admitted, "I might have left it on the floor by the couch. The cleaning staff must have put it on your desk." He looked at her for a moment. "You must have opened it to check it wasn't yours. I imagine your first thought was that you'd left your journal on your desk."

"As soon as I saw your handwriting, I closed it again, and I haven't opened it since," Lisbon said, and although Jane believed her, he also thought she'd left something out.

"But you inadvertently read something while it was open, didn't you?"

"I did not," she said. Jane could never understand why Lisbon always tried to deny things when she knew he could tell she was lying.

"I know you didn't mean to, Lisbon, but since you did it's only fair that you tell me what you saw. Come on, spit it out."

Lisbon couldn't bring herself to quote his words back to him, even though they had burned themselves into her brain.

"Something about passion and fire and you being a mere mortal," she mumbled, not looking at him.

Right. Of course. Of all the lines in the journal she could have seen, it had to be that one!

"Ah yes," he said, "Maria Callas. One of the greats. Who can resist such a voice?"

"And how exactly does her intelligence, humour and charm factor in?" Lisbon's voice was dry. "She is that opera singer who died about thirty years ago, isn't she?"

Hmm, Lisbon knew a bit about opera. That was unfortunate. Jane gave a boyish, you-got-me shrug.

"Don't be jealous, Lisbon. I assure you that I'm fully aware that you also have all those qualities in abundance." He grinned at her, and she knew that was the closest she was going to get to a confession at this point. "I'm very impressed that you resisted the temptation to read the rest. I should warn you that I would not be as strong if the roles were reversed."

"You told me once that I could trust you, Jane, and so I'm going to trust that won't read my journal without my permission."

She looked at him with that unwilling, yet unquenchable hope that always lurked in those big eyes of hers and he knew he was caught. She had officially outwitted him. Even if she left her journal on his couch every day from now on, he wouldn't be able to bring himself to break that fragile trust she had just placed in him.

"I meant what I said that day, Lisbon," he said, leaning forward earnestly. "You can trust me no matter what happens."

Lisbon knew they were no longer talking about their journals. She held his gaze for a few moments and read the sincerity in his eyes, before she nodded slightly. He leaned back, satisfied that she had received his message.

"Better drink your coffee before it gets cold," he said, before leaving her to her work. He made sure he took his journal with him this time.

Lisbon's Journal: Week 3, Thursday

Today was very uneventful compared to the last few. Thank heavens. I kept a low profile and got through a lot of work. I figure the best thing to do right now is to make sure that everything that I do has all its i's dotted and its t's crossed. At this point, the less fire I draw, the better. I think I've taken about as many hits as I can stand at present.

One thing that did happen today was that I found Jane's journal on my desk (put there by the cleaning staff). I didn't read it, but I opened it thinking it was mine and read one line before I realised that it was Jane's journal. He wrote, "All that passion and intensity and fire and intelligence and humour and charm and beauty... I am a mere mortal, after all" and now I can't get it out of my head. He, of course, said he was talking about some opera singer (translation: he doesn't want to talk about it), but I'm sure he was talking about me – I just don't know the context, and I admit it's driving me a little crazy. Though the more I think about it, the more afraid I am that he wasn't talking about me – at first I was sure he was, but now... See, this is why I try not to think about things too much!

Jane and I still haven't really talked about the situation with Hightower, but he did reiterate something he's said to me before – that I can trust him and that he'll always be there for me. I'm sure he was trying to reassure me about the whole mess, though it sounds a bit ominous to me – what is he planning? Do I even want to know?

Jane's Journal: Week 3, Thursday

Lisbon found my journal on her desk this morning, and when she told me, I was surprised at how afraid I felt that she might have read it. Lisbon is, I suppose, my forbidden fruit. I can't allow her to be drawn too far into my mess (which is why I don't tell her everything I feel), but I also can't let her go too far away, because I need her. Despite the temptation, she stayed as strong as always and didn't read the whole thing while she had the chance (if it had been me, I would have shot off to the bathroom where I wouldn't be disturbed and read it from cover to cover). She did inadvertently read one line, though, and of course it was the line where I described all the reasons why she makes it impossible for me to hold her at arm's length. I don't know what she's making of it, and I know it would be better to just confront it and clear the air, but laying myself open to her like that... it wouldn't be good for either of us, I'm sure. Better to leave well enough alone. I have, however, marked the front of my journal so it need never be mistaken again!

Hightower has been busy with whatever machinations someone in her position indulges in, and we didn't see her at all today. Lisbon stayed holed up in her office all day, no doubt trying to be the best CBI agent ever to walk the earth. I wish I knew how to make her relax.

00000

Having had a whole day mostly deprived of Lisbon's company (since she'd buried herself in paperwork all day Thursday), Jane decided on Friday that enough was enough. When Lisbon seemed intent on spending another day drudging away in solitude, Jane decided to relocate himself onto her couch. He had recently discovered that it was quite comfortable, and it gave him the considerable advantage of having Lisbon all to himself.

Lisbon didn't comment when she returned from getting herself some coffee and found Jane installed on her couch. He had his eyes closed, so she simply went on with her work as though he always slept in her office. She wasn't sure what this break with tradition signified, but she didn't object to his presence. In fact, she liked having him there.

Jane spent the morning mostly watching Lisbon through a tiny slit in his almost-closed eyelids. He wondered why he'd never thought to pass his day like this before. The view from his new spot was superb. He knew that Lisbon had no idea how lovely she was.

"I like your hair like that," he said suddenly, out of the blue. "It suits you."

Lisbon looked up, startled. He had been so unobtrusive that she'd almost forgotten he was there. The way he was looking at her made her blush slightly. She ducked her head, embarrassed.

"Thanks," she said.

"Why do compliments embarrass you, Lisbon? You're very beautiful, so I would have thought you'd have had plenty of practise over the years fielding compliments."

"You're one to talk – you got all coy when that Banks woman complimented you on your skills. You had this whole "Aw shucks, ma'am" thing going on."

Jane grinned delightedly. "I never get tired of attractive women telling me how clever I am. You should try it sometime. You know what they say – you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

"Why would I want to catch flies?" Lisbon said. "It's much quicker and easier to just invest in a decent fly swatter and kill the nasty little pests."

Jane pouted slightly.

"I wasn't talking about you," Lisbon said, in her slightly exasperated 'must you behave like a 3-year-old trapped in a man's body?' voice.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said.

Silence fell as Lisbon became engrossed in her work once more. The peace lasted about half an hour, then Jane suddenly said, "You know, I noticed that you didn't seem very taken with Slocombe's description of us as a 'cute young couple'."

"Well, we're not cute or young or a couple."

Jane propped himself up indignantly, "We are cute!" he said, in an insulted tone. "Very cute, in fact. And we're young...ish, and technically a couple – in that there are two of us."

"We're not a couple in the sense he was meaning."

"Close enough," Jane mumbled to himself as he subsided back onto the couch.

"What did you say?"

"I can't believe that you don't think I'm cute. Really? Even with an ice-cream? I find that hard to credit."

Lisbon just gave him an amused smile and shook her head to indicate that the conversation was over.

Jane felt satisfied. He thought he'd succeeded in letting Lisbon know how attractive she was. He fell asleep feeling like he'd earned his keep that day.

Jane's Journal: Week 3, Friday

I spent the day dozing on the couch in Lisbon's office. I can't think why I haven't tried it before. It's the perfect spot to keep an eye on her. She seems to have settled into a kind of desperate calm. Apparently she thinks that working herself into the ground is the answer to her current troubles. Well, actually, Lisbon always thinks that's the answer to any form of trouble in her life. She thinks if she distracts her mind for long enough, the problem will go away on its own. In this instance, I plan to prove her right. One day she's going to resurface and find that her new boss thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread. Since she is the best thing since sliced bread, it shouldn't be all that hard. I'm sure I'll come up with a viable plan soon. It's a pity that Lisbon's distress is putting the whole thing under a bit of pressure, because I have a feeling that sparring with our new boss is going to be rather fun. It seems a shame to outwit her too quickly, but I can't have Lisbon going around like the sword of Damocles is hanging over her head for too long.

Lisbon's Journal: Week 3, Friday

I'm too exhausted after this nightmare week to think coherent thoughts. I'm feeling a little depressed, to be honest. Like nothing I do is ever going to be good enough, so why bother trying. It's not that I don't want to fight; it's just that I don't know where or who my enemy is. Ever since Jane started working with me I've had this same problem. How do you control someone who won't be controlled because he quite genuinely believes he's always right? That's the reason Hightower's plan isn't going to work – Jane never thinks his plans will turn out badly, despite all the evidence to the contrary. So he's going to keep doing what he always does, because he believes he's fire-proof – and, by extension, that I am too. And I realise that's a pun, now that I've written it down. Ha ha.

I know I should have talked to Jane about all this, but there really isn't anything to say. I know him. He knows me. Neither of us is going to change. Talking about it won't achieve anything. Much as I hate to say it, I'm just going to have to trust him. One thing I'm sure of is that Jane is in my corner. As allies go, he's a pretty good one to have. While he won't ever change for me, he will do everything in his (quite considerable, if strange) power to keep me from harm. In the meantime, I'm going to try not to wallow.

"I'll take our copies to Dr Williams, if you like," Jane said, holding out his hand for Lisbon's journal pages. "Since you trust me and all."

Lisbon narrowed her eyes at him, then slipped her pages into an envelope which she sealed and addressed to Dr Williams. She gave the envelope a bit reluctantly to Jane.

"No point in making the temptation unnecessarily great," she said. "Pity I don't have any sealing wax and a cool seal."

"With the Lisbon family crest on it?" he asked, interested.

"Yeah, right, we have one of those," Lisbon said sarcastically.

"What would you put on your seal, then. A gun? A lioness? A golden retriever?"

He looked like he was just getting warmed up, so Lisbon waved him off with an "I thought you were taking those to Dr Williams?". Jane left reluctantly, his mind still turning over possibilities. He loved getting a new Lisbon puzzle. They were his favourite kind.

Dr Williams' door was ajar when he arrived, so he peered inside. She saw him and smiled in welcome.

"Mr Jane. Come in. Agent Lisbon isn't with you today?"

"She's attempting an exciting new thing called trust," Jane said, giving the doctor his pages and Lisbon's envelope.

Dr Williams looked pleased.

"Well that's a promising sign. Have you two been talking things through? I've been a little concerned."

Jane looked appraisingly at the doctor.

"She's been here to talk to you, hasn't she? About Hightower, I'd guess. She's understandably a little freaked out." Jane felt distinctly jealous that Lisbon had talked to the doctor instead of to him.

The doctor looked at him enigmatically.

"Now is your moment to step up, Mr Jane. She needs you. And you two really need to learn to talk to each other. No matter how well you can read each other, there is no substitute for a good old-fashioned conversation. She's hurting right now, and it's not the time to be playing games. I have no doubt that you care a great deal about her, but the question is, do you care enough? Genuine love is an unselfish emotion. Are you prepared to make sacrifices for her?"

Dr Williams was looking at him with such seriousness that Jane was rooted to the spot. For the first time that week he allowed himself to truly recognise the great pain that Lisbon must be feeling. The blow that had been delivered to her self-esteem must have undermined her very sense of self. She had had all her value as a CBI agent stripped from her and had been made into nothing more than his satellite; her control over her own destiny taken from her and placed in his reckless hands. And instead of falling apart or blaming him, she had just kept going like nothing was wrong.

"I'll look after her, doc," he said, softly. Then he turned swiftly and left the room. He had a lot of thinking to do.

TBC

My heart is really going out to poor Lisbon right now. How unfair is her life?!