Bella
Rose and I soothe Renesmee; by some miracle getting her to stop thrashing and screaming without waking her. Edward bursts into the room with Jacob only steps behind him; I turn to them sharply, a finger to my lips.
Seeing it was just another fever-induced nightmare, their stances relax. My husband appears by my side as I stoke our daughter's hair, and he surveys her sleeping body for damage.
I can't help but roll my eyes. As if I would have let her hurt herself.
Jacob leans over Renesmee, listening to her heartbeat. I do too, and we probably both note how fast it is. Exactly twenty-four beats per minute faster than usual. With a sigh, I reclaim my seat on the edge of the bed, this time with Edward next to me; Jacob collapses into the chair by the window.
"Bella?" Alice asks from the doorway, doing her best to whisper. I pull my gaze from Renesmee to look at her. She sighs at me, "Honey. You have to get out of here. When was the last time you even brushed your hair?"
I shook my head in disbelief, returning my attention to my sleeping daughter. "I'm not exactly worried about the state of my hair right now, Alice."
"At least come hunting with us, then." Esme chimes in quietly, coming up behind Alice.
"We'll have a girls' trip," Rose whispers, putting her hand over mine.
A girls' trip. Without Renesmee. No.
I shake my head at their hopeful faces. "I can't leave her."
"Love," Edward squeezes my thigh and nods in encouragement, "go."
I turn and look to Jake. He gives me a half-smile and a nod.
"If anything were to happen…" I start, and Edward cuts me off.
"Nothing is going to happen."
"But if something did," I try again, and Jacob says, "Then I'll call you. That phone will be in my hand the second the second anything becomes even mildly interesting around here. I promise you that, Bells."
With Jacob's vow, I finally surrender. I kiss Renesmee's scorching forehead and then Edward's cool lips.
"One hour." I tell Alice as she pulls me by the hand out of the bedroom, and she rolls her eyes. "I'm serious, Alice. One hour."
"Okay, okay. Two or three tops."
I groan and almost turn back, but Esme wraps her arm around my waist and guides us out the front door.
The four of us walk, arms linked, as though in some cheesy movie, out into the dense forest. Like we're on some quest so great that we have to leave our men behind; really we're just trying to get a well-past overdue meal.
I only turn to look back at my house once, and relax when there is no one seeing us off from the porch or a window; because that means that they're with my daughter, where they should be.
Jacob
Bella's only been gone ten minutes when the next nightmare hits.
First Nessie stirs softly in her sleep. Then she whines, which is the first warning. Edward puts his hand on her face and rubs her cheek softly with his thumb, trying to ward away the dream before it takes her over.
She whines again, louder, drawing Jasper and Emmett into the room. Jazz doesn't hesitate to come to his niece's side, probably trying to calm her. Emmett hovers in the doorway, nervous.
Edward sits on the edge of her bed, "It's okay, baby. You're okay." He murmurs in her ear, really more for our benefit than hers.
I grab her hand out of instinct, the hand with the IV still stuck in it (which is now not only hydrating her but flooding her veins with a fabulous cocktail of drugs to reduce her fever) and then realization hits and I quickly let it go. To hold her hand now would be to watch her thoughts. Her dreams. I can't spy on her like that.
"I do." Edward half-smiles, not unlocking his eyes from his daughter.
Really? The Great Edward, perfect husband and father, spying on his unknowing and innocent daughter's dreams? Impossible.
He rolls his eyes at me the way Ness would, sending an involuntary pang through my chest. He whispers, "Bella does, too."
Yeah, I figured Bella would. But Edward doesn't need to watch her dreams, he can see inside of her head.
"Yes, but her showing me is so much different than finding it myself. And I confessed myself to her once, she doesn't really mind."
"Are you talking about watching her dreams?" Emmett asks, and I'm amazed at his hidden ability to be somewhat quiet. I nod to him and he grins. "I've done it. But she caught me. She was mad as hell,"
"Has everyone spied on Ness in her sleep besides me?" I ask, and even Jasper nods.
"When she was little," he murmurs, shrugging.
That made up my mind. My hand completely envelops hers, and I watch her subconscious unfold.
There's a field. Our field. Alive with flowers and sunlight: every color contrasting sharper than it does in real life. Every detail is the same as it was when we were there just days ago, only better. Now I see why everyone wants to do this. In Renesmee's mind, of course trees are stronger and grass is greener. She improves upon everything she touches.
I watch us: Renesmee and I. We run, and laugh, and kiss. So much like the other day, though it feels like a lifetime ago. Like everything around me, I look a thousand times better in her imagination; I wonder what I did to deserve to be apart of this world she's created.
Like all of her nightmares since she was three and half feet tall, the party is crashed by a mass of figures in dark cloaks. The Volturi.
They circle in on us like vultures, and Nessie clings to me, but suddenly I'm not there. Her beautiful voice is screaming my name and I'm nowhere in sight, and suddenly this has become my nightmare.
I let go of her hand and return to the real world, drab by juxtaposition, and I see Edward staring at me. "We should wake her up." I tell him, nodding towards Ness.
He shakes his head and whispers, "No, she's okay. You let go too soon to see the part where you save the day." He smirks, and feels Nessie's forehead. "I'm going to go get a thermometer," he stands. "I think her fever has gone down."
I lean over her and press my hand to her cheek, to see if he's right. I think he's delusional. She still feels hot.
When I pull my hand away, her big brown eyes open. "Ness," I sit on the huge bed, taking her hand again. "Hey, honey. How are you?"
In response, she groans and tries to force herself upright. Her hands gesture wildly, grasping in the empty air. I know this gesticulation all too well, and reach under the bed for the small metal basin Edward put there, and I hold it out to her.
She takes it from my hands and retches into it, her entire body convulsing. I rub her back in small circles until Edward runs back into the room; his eyes search rapidly and settle on Ness, his panicky expression morphing into a defeated frown. He sighs and takes his position on Nessie's other side, holding back the long, intricate braid that Rosalie did.
Nessie begins to sob into the bowl, and Edward takes it from her as she falls back into the pillows, tears running down her red cheeks. I let myself forget about her fever and I take her into my arms. She wraps herself around me, and I take the towel from her nightstand and wipe the streak of crimson from her bottom lip.
Blood? I look to Edward. He's staring at the contents of the metal bowl, his face a stony picture of puzzlement.
I hold Renesmee tighter as she cries, and I lean forward to see what he's seeing. The bowl is full of blood.
Jasper sets a glass of water on the table and says, "Well, at least she got down some of the blood Carlisle brought home. I didn't know you got her to eat anything at all."
"I didn't." Edward's black eyes flash up at me, asking a silent question. I shake my head. We never convinced her to eat anything.
The blood is Nessie's.
As if on cue, she coughs, taking the towel from my hand to hold it over her mouth. She pulls it away, revealing a nearly perfect circle of blood, so dark it's almost black, that contrasts starkly against the white cotton. I wonder what compelled me to grab a white towel.
Her eyes widen, and I watch her begin to panic. Already deep into my own, I hand her over willingly when Edward's reaches for her.
"Renesmee," he says seriously, looking into her eyes. "Sweetheart, did you drink any of the blood Granddad brought from the hospital? Did Mom give you any?"
He already knows the answer, it's not like he ever left her side.
She shakes her head slowly, trying to decipher the emotion in Edward's poker face. When she can't, she looks at me; and I wish I had more to give her than the pure horror that I know she sees plastered across my features.
Before anyone can react, Renesmee vomits more blood; and although she tries to contain it with the towel, the deep red color ends up staining her shirt, and Edward's, and her white comforter.
Edward tries to recuperate, but for the first time in my life, I see him at a loss for a solution. He's frantic for a moment, knowing that he needs to do something but not sure what exactly. Blood is everywhere; much more than should be possible.
After a millisecond of feeling completely hopeless, I recover, and I see the sweaty, crying, bloody mess that is Renesmee, curled up on her side. Edward is fumbling for his phone, swearing loudly when he doesn't immediately find it. Emmett tosses one to him, and it reminds me of the promise I made.
But I can't think anything other than Renesmee.
Please. I need her to be okay. She has to be okay.
I chuck my phone at Jasper and bark, "Call Bella. Please, Jasper."
He nods and dials as Edward speaks in urgent hisses of sentences to Carlisle.
"Nessie?" I ask Renesmee gently, trying to pry her from the tight ball she's curled in. Her skin is hot to the touch still, despite the cold sweat she's broken into. She whines in agony and my blood runs cold. "Ness," I try again, "where does it hurt? Please, show me where." I try to take her hand but it's glued to her opposite arm, locking her in place.
"Of course I'm sure!" Edward explodes over the phone. "Carlisle—yes. Okay. Yes, as soon as possible." His voice softens then, and his eyes run over Nessie. "Dad," he chokes, "hurry. I don't know what to do."
Emmett and Jasper and I exchange looks. How bad do things have to be for Edward to sound desperate?
This is the only time I've seen fear in Emmett's eyes.
Edward hangs up the phone.
"Well?" I demand, "What do we do?"
He runs a hand through his hair. "We keep her calm, keep her conscious. Carlisle's leaving the hospital now. Did someone call Bella?"
"Yes." Jasper answers.
Renesmee moans again, and all of our heads snap down to look at her.
"Renesmee," Edward tries again, "Love, open your eyes. Where does it hurt?"
She doesn't answer but her crying continues, and Edward tries to gather her into his arms, but she recoils from his cool touch and her sobs get louder.
To say that I'm afraid would be an understatement. I was afraid when her temperature surpassed mine. This isn't fear I'm feeling anymore. It's more like terror, now.
Defeated, Edward motions for me to get her, as though he knows she'll let me. She fights me for only a moment, and then gives up, letting me untangle her. I almost give her to Edward, but some more blood dribbles from her mouth. Her skin pales beneath my fingertips; she goes limp in my arms, and she's silent. No one says anything for a second. Everything is peaceful; but then the panic begins, rising so quickly in the room that a bystander would have been suffocated.
AN:
Cliffhanger! Sorry if you hate cliffhangers, I also hate cliffhangers when I'm reading a story. Not that that's going to stop me from writing them myself.
Thank you so much for reading this. And thank you so so much to everyone who has reviewed. Nothing makes me happier than hearing that people actually care about what I'm writing. Your kind words mean so much to me.
Ok, so I'm thinking two more chapters at the most.
Tell me your thoughts, questions, concerns, opinions… I want to hear it all!
xoxo,
Vanessa