Disclaimer: The characters you recognize as J.E. are hers. Any other character is a figment of my imagination and any similarities to real persons is merely a coincidence

This story is definitely AU. The characters have the same physical appearance as in J.E.'s books; however I have changed ages of some characters. This will eventually be a Babe HEA and Cupcake fans may not be happy as Joe is not a good guy. Frank Plum fans may be upset as well, as he is not portrayed favorably, nor is Helen Plum. References may be made to any of the books in the series so if you haven't read them all, you may want to wait to read this. That said...

Chapter 3: Lester's Dilemma

(This scene is strictly from Lester's POV):

Ranger made sure I got the three tickets and had the information I needed to get Stephanie's grandma and her two friends to the airport. I knew that grandma had been brought to the apartment Steph was to be using here. In the morning I could collect her and then pick up the other two. I had to smile at the cop's reaction. Next time I took a skip to the station I planned on rubbing it in how easy this job was. Man what wusses. I finished my shift at 2300 and made my way to my apartment. I figured I'd get 5 hours sleep before I had to get ready to take granny and her cronies to the airport. I grimaced when I caught sight of the grocery bags still on my kitchen table. There was nothing perishable in there and unfortunately Ranger had caught me coming in so there was no contraband. Damn he was diligent! I poked around in the bags, but nothing interested me. I got a drink of water and headed for the bedroom. After stripping down I climbed into bed and closed my eyes knowing I would be asleep in seconds. I was used to getting sleep when I could and had honed in my skills. I'd closed my eyes and just started to drift off when I was startled fully awake. My first thought was we were having an earthquake. From the sounds of it, it was pretty bad. I frowned; none of the alarms were going off. If we were having an earthquake, we had alarms that would alert us all. Standard Operating Procedure was to head to the control room and we'd get our orders from there.

I paused for a moment taking stock of my surroundings and didn't feel the bed moving, as a matter of fact, nothing in the room was moving. Okay, no earthquake. What the fuck was that noise? I got out of bed and slipped on a pair of sweats. I headed out of my apartment and when I got to the hallway I noticed several of the guys already standing there. "Hey guys, anyone know what's happening?"

Hal shook his head, "I was sleeping and I heard a God awful noise."

The others just nodded in agreement. At that moment Tank exited the elevators and smiled when he saw all of us standing around in the hallway. I gave him my best glare and asked, "What the fuck is so funny?"

He shook his head, "I assume the noise woke you pansies up?"

Binkie asked, "You know what the noise is?"

We could still hear the noise. At a guess I would say it would register a 9.7 on the Richter scale. Tank cocked his head and smiled wider, "Part of that noise would be Lula. She snores. I'd say the rest of the noise would be Stephanie's grandma."

We all looked at him like he was crazy. There's no way snoring could be that loud. I walked closer to the apartment door and I distinctively heard the snoring sounds. I grinned from ear to ear and said, "Damn!" Then I turned to the guys and raised an eyebrow. "Wonder if Steph snores too?"

Tank glared at me, "That kind of thinking will get you in trouble Santos."

The others nodded. I had a moment of clarity and suppressed a shudder. Ranger would hand me my ass if he knew what I was thinking right now. I put a hand up and headed back to my apartment, "I got an early start tomorrow. I'm going back to sleep."

I didn't wait for a response.

Saying and doing are two very different animals. I'd climbed back into bed and used all the skills I'd honed over the years to get back to sleep. Easy right? I mean after all I could sleep in combat zones with gunfire and bombs going off. What could be so different? I refused to admit defeat until my alarm went off at 0430 a.m. I punched my pillow and got up out of bed. I took a quick shower and dressed. After grabbing everything I needed, I made my way to the apartment next to mine. I knocked and the door was opened by a woman who could be anywhere from 60 to 90. She was a small woman and rail thin. She smiled when she saw me and backed up so I could enter the apartment.

I walked into the apartment and noticed there was another person waiting there as well. This must be Tank's girlfriend Lula. She was about 5'5" tall and weighed about 230 pounds. She was dressed in neon green spandex that was about three sizes too small, but on her it looked right for some reason. Her hair was pink. Who ever heard of pink hair?

"Ladies. My name is Lester Santos and I'm here to take Mrs. Mazur to the airport."

"Hot damn! I got a live one."

I frowned at the wording but smiled at her, "Are you ready to go ma'am?"

"I'm not old enough to be a ma'am sonny. Just call me Edna."

I nodded to let her know I'd heard. "Is this your luggage?"

"Since I'm going on a trip I don't see how it could be anyone else's."

Lula spoke up for the first time, "Granny asked me to go with so as I can wave her off and let Steph know she got off okay."

"You're welcome to come along, but I can let Stephanie know her grandmother got off safely."

"Yeah, but you telling it might be boring you hear what I'm saying. Me telling her she gets a real picture of what happened."

I just shrugged and said, "Let's go." I leaned forward to grab the bags and I felt a hand on my ass. I froze for a millisecond and turned to see Lula standing there with a shit-eating grin on her face but she was too far away to have reached me. I let my gaze slide to Steph's grandma and she was busy with her pocketbook. I decided to let it go for now. I picked up the bags and headed for the door. "Let's get this show on the road folks."

I led them to the elevators and we rode down to the garage. I made my way over to the SUV I usually used and loaded the luggage into the back. I opened the back door and helped granny in. I had to pick her up to get her in the SUV. I had her in the air and was setting her on the seat when I felt the hand on my balls. My eyes grew round and I looked directly at her. She had a smile on her face a mile wide. With her other hand she patted my cheek and said, "Impressive young man. Definitely impressive."

I wasted no time in stepping back and shutting her door. When I got in the driver's seat I noticed Lula was silently shaking with laughter. My eyes narrowed and I couldn't help but remember Stephanie's words yesterday asking me not to hold anything against her. I also thought back to the shudder the cop gave when he asked about granny needing a ride to the airport. I was getting a funny feeling I shouldn't have been so cocky.

We made another stop to pick up the other two ladies and I figured I better be on the alert. It creeped me out having someone that old feeling me up. I felt my cock shrink just thinking about it. Damn! I avoided a repeat with these two by holding them at arm's length when I lifted them into the back seat. Once they were inside, I headed for the airport. We made good time and I figured we'd have plenty of time to get through customs.

I parked at the door and unloaded the luggage onto a baggage cart. I tipped the guy and asked him to wait for us as I went and found a parking space. I helped all the ladies out, taking extra care to stay out of range of the three in back. When we reached the luggage cart I waved the man away and steered it in the direction we needed to go. I got the luggage all checked in and the ladies had their tickets. Everything was going like clockwork. The first two ladies went through the metal detector without any problems and I started to smile. I guess this wasn't so bad after all. Granny walked through the metal detector and the alarm went off. I frowned. What could have set off the alarm? She emptied her pockets and her purse went on the tray as well. She walked through and again the alarm sounded.

"Hey granny, what about your teeth?" asked Lula.

"Damn. That must be it."

She took out her teeth and walked through again. The alarm once again sounded. Damn. If she missed her flight Ranger was going to have my ass. Finally, after about the 7th try another guard came over and said, "We'll have to do a strip search. It's the only way. Granny smiled ear to ear. The guard took her to a small private room to do the strip search and I cooled my heels waiting, keeping alert for any danger. Suddenly I heard a loud squawk and tensed. A few seconds later the guard came back out, his face pale white and his eyes were as big as saucers. Granny walked beside him with a smile a mile wide on her face. The guard seemed to be in a daze as they joined us and he said, "She's cleared. Get her out of here."

I waited for granny to get her things all gathered up and we made our way to where they would board the plane. I made sure all the ladies were seated and made my way over to the stewardess. I explained my role here and asked that the three ladies be allowed to board last and I be allowed to sweep the plane. She nodded and said she would clear it with airport security.

When the flight was called we waited till everyone else had boarded and then I escorted the ladies onto the plane. I did a sweep of the plane to make sure there were no dangers to granny. When I was satisfied, I told granny to have a great trip and made my way back into the terminal. I watched the plane taxi to the runway and take off before collecting Lula and heading back to Rangeman. I let out a sigh of relief that granny would be out of sight for the next three weeks.