Thank you for the reviews on the other chapters!

I won't have any internet access for about the next one and a half weeks, so this is the last update for quite some time. Maybe, but just maybe, I'll post a new oneshot tonight as well, but I don't know if I'll get to it as I haven't finished it yet.

For those of you who celebrate it: Have a nice First Advent!

Edith

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You have struggled with love all your life.

First there was Patrick who was for more interested in Mary.

Then there was Matthew who really loved Mary.

Then there was Anthony, who loved you too much to marry you.

And there was Michael.

And now there is Marigold.

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You always wanted what your parents have.

Just as your sisters did.

But opposed to your sisters, you never found it.

You could have had it with Michael, you are sure of it.

But he was married.

You even envy Mary having a grave to go to.

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.

Because you know that she goes there quite often.

Very early in the morning or very late in the evening.

You once followed her. You thought she was meeting a lover. You wanted to expose her.

Instead you saw her at her husband's headstone. Crying her heart out.

It broke your heart.

When she left the graveyard she walked passed Sybil's grave and slightly touched her headstone. And it broke your heart even more.

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You never were privy to your parents' problems.

When Mary told you that she was afraid that your father thought about taking another woman to bed, you were more than surprised.

And you hated Mary for the suggestion.

And then you saw your father with that maid.

And you hoped that your mother did not see it.

A few days after your mother almost died, after Lavinia did die, you wanted to ask your mother something and went to her room. You found her there, asleep in your father's arms.

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Your heart exploded with joy. And with jealousy.

And when your sister, your younger sister, wrote to you about how happy she was with Tom, it was hard for you to be happy for her. And not hate her.

You hated Mary when she announced her engagement to Matthew.

Your hatred was stronger for the fact of Anthony sending you away.

Although he called you lovely.

In the wake of Mary's wedding you coaxed him into agreeing to marry you.

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And then he left you at the altar.

A few weeks later your younger sister died. You would have needed him then.

Like Mary needed Matthew. And like you parents needed each other.

And then you realized that your parents fell apart over their youngest daughter's death.

It scared you to death.

And then, one day, you saw them walking back from your granny's house holding hands. Whatever your granny said to them or did, you have never been so thankful.

.

.

Until the day your granny found out about your pregnancy.

You explained to her that you loved Michael so very much and that it was his child you were carrying.

Your granny paid for yours and your aunt's stay in Switzerland and did not breathe a word.

And then you had to leave that child behind.

And couldn't.

But you couldn't have her live with someone else either.

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Again it was Mary who told you that she thought there was something wrong between your parents.

You dismissed it as being Mary's way to create drama. But you did whine about it to your granny.

When you told your mother you did not want your father to know about Marigold, she wanted to tell him. A clear sign that everything was alright.

You brought your little girl home.

And your mother convinced your father that it was a good idea. Another clear sign.

You want to thank your mother for her help and so you go to her room. You find her there, asleep in your father's arms. Nothing is wrong.