Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters

The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate

(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)

Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**

Chapter Three

BPOV

I must have dozed, because I very clearly and sharply jolted awake. I hadn't been very deeply asleep because there was only a split second of disorientation, and then everything came back to me in a rush. Even if I'd wanted to convince myself it was all a dream, the unfamiliar sheets around my nude body and deep regular breathing of the man next to me would have convinced me otherwise.

Moving as carefully and quietly as possible, I lifted my body and craned my neck to look at the bright red LED of the alarm clock on his bedside table: 4:26am.

I lay quietly for a moment, considering my options. I had a sneaking suspicion that Edward wouldn't be opposed to me sleeping a bit later in his bed, and possibly starting off the day with another round of sexual pleasure. I wasn't totally opposed to that myself, in fact.

I smiled involuntarily, feeling how puffy my lips were, how pleasantly sore my body was all over. I wasn't in pain, the stiffness was just a wonderful reminder of the crazy sex we'd had…all night.

I'd read about sex like that and I'd rolled my eyes, scoffed, and figured it was all quivering and multiple orgasms in romance novels, but not real life. Jacob sure as hell hadn't done anything to change my perceptions. On the rare occasion he'd attempted what he considered a "marathon" sex session, I usually ended up eyeballing the alarm clock, calculating how much sleep I could get if he would just come already, and faking a fairly persuasive orgasm.

No need for faking here.

Edward moaned softly in his sleep next to me, and I licked my lips. God, the whole night had been incredible, from the moment he'd ground up against me in front of the elevators, all the way until he'd kissed every inch of my body after our last romp. He hadn't tried to cuddle or spoon with me, and for that I was grateful…instead he'd placed sweet kisses on the back of my neck before falling asleep, one of his hands heavy on my hip.

What to do now, though? I'd fully intended on leaving after our first go-round, until he'd convinced me to stay. I was very glad he'd convinced me, but now, in the last moments of dark before dawn, I knew I needed to go. I wanted my last memories of such a fantastic night to be perfect, not marred by pointed suggestions of a long day ahead or offerings of cab fare on his part.

Moving as quietly as possible, I slid out of the bed, recovering my bra, dress, and panties from where he'd flung them into the far corners of the room. I dressed quickly and stepped into my strappy heels, wincing a little, then chanced a peek into the small mirror that sat on his dresser. I groaned silently: makeup was smudged under my eyes and my hair could best be described as a haystack. I ran my hand through the knots, then licked my index finger and swiped at the dark smudges under my eyes. It would have to do for now.

I sucked in a deep breath and turned to look at the gorgeous man still unconscious in the bed. I hated leaving this way…sneaking out if the truth be told…but we'd come together for a specific purpose, and that purpose was now fulfilled. He mumbled in his sleep and I tiptoed over to him, chancing a closer look at his face. The dark stubble on his jaw and his relaxed expression made him appear much more boyish and vulnerable, but I reminded myself that he was the definitive playboy, and there was no place in my life for chasing after anyone or anything like that right now. I held my breath and leaned over, placing a long gentle kiss to his bristly cheek. His lips curled up slightly in response.

I did one last check to make sure I was decent, and then crept quietly out, pulling the bedroom door shut behind me. As I snuck down the hall, a sudden snuffle and then a whimper against another closed door almost stopped my heart and I froze in place. Silence, and then a plaintive whimper, the click of nails against the hardwood floor.

A dog! Playboy had a dog, and the poor thing was evidently stuck in one of the other rooms. He certainly hadn't excused himself last night to take it outside, and I toyed briefly with the idea of letting it out. What was I supposed to do then, though? Track down a leash and take it downstairs? Is that what people in these high-rises did? What if it was a gigantic ferocious beast and tried to chew my arms and legs off? That would be awkward. Plus, it wasn't as though Edward and I were on intimate enough terms to justify my taking care of his dog.

"Sorry, baby," I whispered to the unseen dog, feeling guilty as I snuck away, into the foyer. My clutch had been thrown carelessly onto a sidetable and I scooped it up, then noticed a nametag that sat there next to his keys.

Dr. Edward Masen, DVM

Huh, a doctor? Funny that he hadn't pulled that little nugget from his bag of tricks the night before. In my experience, doctors were only too eager to flaunt their credentials, thinking that it canceled out any other shitty characteristics they might have. What was DVM, though? I shrugged off my curiosity as I pulled a hairband out of my clutch, trying desperately to stuff my snarled locks up into a semi-respectable ponytail.

I checked again to make sure I had everything: keys; phone; wallet. Then I quietly slipped the deadbolt back and slowly opened the front door, slipping out, and easing it gently shut behind me. The hallway was silent and empty, I breathed a fervent prayer of thanks that I'd be spared a completely blatant walk of shame. It was too late for the paid hookers, and too early for the one-night stands to come stumbling down the hall.

A soft ping and the elevator arrived, doors sliding smoothly open. I darted inside and heaved a sigh of relief, not quite sure why I was so happy to have made a clean escape when there was really nothing for me to run from. Edward had been a perfect gentleman, a mind-blowing lover, and I again thought that he might have been more than happy to roll over and find me still in his bed. The entire evening had been so perfectly orchestrated on his terms, however, that I wanted some small part of it to be on mine.

No regrets. An unbelievably mind-blowing night of sex, orgasms that I thought only existed in smutty novels…no need to ruin it with morning breath, embarrassed fumbling, and half-hearted promises that we both knew were lies. Better to leave it the way I remembered it…hot waves of ecstasy, the pinch of teeth nipping my skin, the stretch and ache of him thrusting into me over and over again.

I could feel the flush rising over my cheeks and warmth building between my legs. Edward in bed had been every woman's dream…cocky and almost too self-assured, but he'd more than lived up to his promises. His dick was huge, his fingers were skilled, and he could talk dirty without sounding cheesy. I'd lost count of how many orgasms I'd had after five, and I knew we'd gone through at least three condoms.

For the briefest moment I regretted not at least leaving him a note with my phone number…but what exactly would I say? How about "Thanks for the awesome sex, call me any time you'd like a repeat performance as long as we agree not to get emotionally entangled." Or maybe "I'd like to marry your cock, here's my number."

No way. Edward was a playboy, and I'd needed to get laid. End of story.

I caught a cab and headed home. Being that it was almost 5:30 in the morning, I tried to move quietly through the house, slipping off the killer heels and abandoning them in the foyer. I was about to grab a bottle of water from the fridge when the mess on the living room table caught my eye.

A pizza box, an empty Cabo Wabo Anejo bottle, two glasses, a box of tissues…and the Pepto Bismol. Interesting. I peeked down the hall in the direction of Alice's room: her door was shut but there was a man's shoe sitting smack in the middle of the hallway.

I grinned to myself as I went back to the kitchen for the bottle of water. It looked like I wasn't the only one who'd gotten lucky the night before. I hurried down the hall to my room, hoping I wouldn't accidentally run into a half-naked Jasper; Alice's bedroom was bigger than mine, but it didn't have a private bathroom.

I stripped and took a quick shower, washing away the hedonism of the night before, shivering a little as I remembered Edward's hands on me. Even if I never saw him again, he'd definitely provided me with more than enough fantasy material to make private time with my vibrator a bit more interesting.

I towel-dried my hair, slipped into my most comfortable pair of cotton pajamas, snuggled between the sheets, and was out like a light.

***

"Bella…"

"Go away, Alice," I moaned into my pillow.

"Wake up, I'm not going anywhere until you share every single detail!"

I swatted blindly at her, but she yanked up the covers and slid under them, bumping me over with her bony hip. "Alice, seriously, I need sleep!"

"You can sleep later. Now spill!" She poked me in the side and I finally peeked out from under the pillow I'd smashed over my head.

"Where's Jasper?"

"I just put him in a cab, headed for home. I think I'm still a little bit drunk or I would have driven him myself."

"Yeah, I saw you two tanked the Cabo. That must have tasted great with Pepto Bismol chasers."

She giggled and then groaned. "I drank most of the Cabo, the Pepto was for him."

"How much did he drink?" I rolled onto my back and eyed her curiously. Alice looked pretty rough, she'd be in for one hell of a hangover when the last of her buzz wore off.

"Barely anything, he doesn't usually drink too much. He had one drink at the club and then a couple of shots when we got back here. I ordered a pizza but he was already trashed by that point."

"I'm sure that was fun." Alice and I both hated sloppy drunks that slurred and cried and then inevitably puked all over your shoes.

"Yeah, especially when the pizza came back up." She made a face.

I chuckled sleepily. "I take it there's nothing thrilling to report from your bedroom, then?"

"Unfortunately not, but I got his number and told him I want to see him again."

"Really? Hey, that's great! So what's he like? When he's not puking all over the place, that is."

Alice hugged herself. "He's not my usual type at all. He's kinda nerdy and really smart, and he has a weird sense of humor…like the guys on that show, Big Bang Theory."

"Dorks."

"He prefers 'geek,' actually." She was unfazed by my teasing. "It was so cute, though, he kept trying to explain to me what he's getting his latest degree in, and I had no clue what he was talking about."

"His latest degree? Wow."

"Yeah, he has a PhD in mathematics already, and he's working on a master's in science right now."

"How old is this guy?"

"Twenty-seven, same as Edward. Speaking of whom…" She let her words trail off as she stared at me expectantly.

I grinned. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything!" she squealed, before groaning and pressing her palms to her forehead. "I think the hangover is starting to kick in. Cheer me up."

"Well, we went to that jazz bar, which just so happened to be in the same building as his loft…"

"Sneaky," she commented.

"Yeah, but it was for the best, believe me. And when I say 'best' I mean 'holy shit one of the greatest nights of my life!'"

"So he made you see God?"

"Repeatedly."

"And his dick was…?"

"Huge. Like, not quite creepy-porno huge, but he put Mr. Pickle-Dick to shame. And he definitely knew how to use it."

Alice giggled. "Did you spend the night there?"

"Most of it." I peeked at my clock radio, it was almost noon. "I'll be lucky if I can walk straight today."

"Damn, now I'm hungover and jealous. Are you going to see him again?"

"Nah, I didn't leave him my number or anything."

She blinked at me. "Didn't he ask for it?"

"No, I left while he was still asleep."

"Umm, why?"

I shrugged. "It was a one-night stand, Alice. I got my itch scratched."

"I wish I'd known," she replied, obviously disappointed. "I could have gotten his number from Jasper before he left."

Right. Because Jasper was Edward's best friend. Somehow in my post-coital, sleep-deprived state, I'd completely forgotten that little fact. Oh fuck.

"I really don't think I want his number, Alice. And I don't want him to have mine."

"Why not?"

"He's not the kind of guy who dates. He's a playboy."

"Yeah, that's kind of what Jasper said too."

"Oh really? What else?"

"Well, he didn't use the word 'manwhore,' but that's the impression I got. I mean, he said he's respectful and all, and that you were perfectly safe with him, but that he rarely sees the same woman more than once."

"See, that's exactly what I mean. Why in the hell would I want to set myself up with someone like that?"

"Because he gave you the best night of sex you've ever had, for starters. Don't you want his number just in case you're hard up again?"

"No," I said firmly. "It was an incredible night, but I'm not going to start programming fuck buddies into my cell phone. That's not me. Last night was a one-time thing with Edward, I'll look back at it as a really great 'Welcome to Miami' gift."

"Well, your paths might cross again, just keep that in mind. I'm definitely planning on seeing Jasper again."

"That's fine," I yawned. "I really doubt I'll see him again otherwise, though. Miami is just too big for that. So what are your plans for the day?"

"I'm going to eat McDonalds and drink a gallon of Gatorade. You?"

"I'll go get your McDonalds if you'll line up some chick flicks for us to watch. I vote that we stay in our pj's all day. I'm not even going to change for the Micky D's drive-through."

She giggled and then groaned again. "Hurry, before this thing really kicks in."

We crashed out in front of the television for the remainder of the day, working our way through Beaches, A League of Their Own, and were halfway through The Joy Luck Club when Alice's cell phone rang. Her face lit up like a sunrise when she checked the caller ID.

"It's Jasper! Hello?"

I heaved myself off the couch and went into the kitchen, wondering what we'd have for dinner. Our tried-and-true hangover remedy usually consisted of nothing but fast food, but after the value meal I'd scarfed down earlier, I was ready for something a bit less greasy. Especially since the hungover one had perked up considerably since her phone rang, and was giggling madly in the living room.

I'd decided on chicken alfredo, which would be quick and easy, and was carefully inspecting the ingredients on the jar of sauce when Alice floated into the kitchen. "I think I'm in love!"

"Oh boy. How's our lightweight doing?"

"He's as hungover as me. But he wants to see me again!"

"I thought we already knew that," I laughed, dumping pasta into a pot of boiling water.

"Well yeah, but it's different when he calls the next day and says, and I quote, 'If it isn't inconvenient, I was hoping you'd forgive me and consider going on a date with me again soon.'"

"Very sweet," I agreed. "So when are you two going out, then?"

She fiddled with her cell phone. "I hope you don't mind, but he asked if I'd like to get together tonight."

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, why in the world would I mind? Get out there and have some fun with the brainiac so I can wake you up first thing tomorrow morning and demand details."

"But you're already making dinner…"

"I always make dinner, goober. Now go take a shower and get dressed. Is he picking you up?"

"Yep, in an hour. Bella…" Her eyes took on a dreamy look. "He called me his little elf princess. Isn't that sweet?"

I snickered. "Considering you've sucker-punched anyone who ever called you a pixie, elf, or fairy, I think it's kinda funny."

"It's different when he said it. He said it like…"

I waved a spatula at her threateningly. "Okay elf princess, I get the picture. Now get out of the kitchen and go get ready for your Legolas."

"Legos-what?"

"Lord of the Rings, Alice! You'd better get your geek-fetish stuff straight if you're serious about this guy."

"Yeah, you're right." Her brow furrowed. "Do you think he'd be horrified to know that I've only seen the first three Harry Potter movies?"

I shook my head. "I'm not going to touch that with a ten-foot pole. Let him guide you. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to teach you all there is to know about wizards and their wands."

She danced off to her room and I went back to cooking, grinning to myself. Jacob hadn't been hard-core into LotR stuff, but I'd picked up enough from him to know Alice had no clue what she was getting into…her favorite science-fiction movie was The Neverending Story.

Exactly forty-five minutes later she was tugging on her eighth outfit while I swirled a glass of wine in my hand and offered advice. The doorbell rang and she shrieked.

"I'm not ready yet! Crap! Bella, can you please go let him in and distract him with small talk?"

"Sure thing, but hurry up or else I'll tell him you think Tolkien is something you do with a doobie."

"What?"

"Never mind," I snorted, getting to my feet. All my oh-so clever jokes had gone completely over her head, hopefully Jasper was the type of guy who would be patient while guiding her through the world of hobbits.

I padded into the foyer and opened the front door to reveal Jasper, looking somewhat tired and red-eyed, but otherwise neatly-pressed and spiffy. He really was a good-looking guy with his blond hair and sweet smile, the glasses he pushed nervously up his nose gave him a very scholarly air. He held a bunch of daisies tightly in his hands.

"Good evening, Bella," he said politely as I invited him in. "It's nice to see you again."

"You too, Jasper. Come on in and sit down, Alice will be out in just a minute. Can I get you something to drink?"

He winced a little. "A glass of water would be perfect, if you don't mind."

"No problem. Rough night?"

He laughed nervously. "Yes, I rarely imbibe liquor, and unfortunately had a bit too much last night. Alice was remarkably patient with my boorish behavior, though."

"She's a real sweetheart," I agreed, setting down the glass of ice water in front of him. He thanked me quietly before downing half the glass.

"I trust you had a nice evening as well?" he inquired finally.

"Hmm? Oh yes, very nice."

"Edward was a gentleman?" he pressed.

I smothered a grin. "Yes, Edward was a gentleman." If 'gentleman' meant that he'd had me screaming his name in ecstasy before kissing me goodnight, then the boy had been raised right.

"I'm glad to hear it," Jasper said primly, finishing off his glass of water. "Edward is my best friend but his behavior is not always circumspect. He is enjoyable to be around, however."

I choked back a laugh, remembering just how thoroughly I'd been around Edward last night.

"Are you talking about me?" Alice sang, choosing that moment to make her grand entrance. She'd settled on a short white dress with eyelet lace and full sleeves, probably the closest thing she could imagine to elf-princess-chic.

Jasper's face lit up immediately when he saw her. "Alice, you look lovely."

"Thank you. Are those for me?" She gestured at the flowers Jasper still clutched, and he flushed.

"Yes, I hope you like daisies."

"I love them! Just let me find a vase and then we'll be off."

"I can take care of those for you, if you like," I offered, fairly sure that I'd seen a dusty glass vase under the kitchen sink.

"Oh would you? Thanks, Bella!"

The two lovebirds took off immediately afterwards in Jasper's Prius and I ate the cooling chicken alfredo after washing out a vase and arranging Alice's daisies. It was still early, but I grabbed a book and climbed into bed, fairly sure that it would be an early night for me as I was still pretty tired. Unfortunately I was completely unable to concentrate on the pages in front of me, and my mind kept drifting back to the night before.

God, I hadn't even really believed that sex like that was possible for real people such as myself. For porn stars, sure. But Bella Swan had been settling for Jackass and his pathetic version of bedroom prowess for years.

It would have been almost predictable if Edward had only been good at the chase and build-up, if everything after that had been run-of-the-mill at best. But from the moment he'd ground his magnum-sized cock up against my ass, waiting for the elevator, the entire night had been one non-stop pleasure ride. He took charge without being forceful, had made my climaxes a priority before his, and had been funny and smoldering by turns. He'd definitely made me feel a million times sexier than Jackass ever had, and I'd enjoyed everything we'd done last night. It was too bad that a man of such talents was also the ultimate playboy bachelor, but I didn't regret a single moment of it, even if I knew I wasn't the first or last to be on the receiving end of his attention.

My mind wandered further, remembering his firm hands as he manipulated my body, pulling me on top of him, clutching my hips as I rode him. His confident fingers as they unerring searched out my clit, stroking and pressing with the perfect amount of pressure. His lips and mouth on my breasts, teasing me with his teeth. And the hot pleasurable ache as he thrust into me repeatedly, the exquisite spasms as I came around him, his guttural groans as he gave up and followed me.

I whimpered and dragged my pillow over my head. I was hot and wet and throbbing, just remembering the things he'd done to me. If it wasn't for the fact that I was still the tiniest bit sore, I'd pull Old Faithful out of the bedside table drawer and try to assuage this unbearable tension boiling inside of me. I felt like a nun fresh out of the convent, a prisoner out on parole. A whole new world had been opened up to me, and it seemed that Edward Masen has done his level best to set the bar almost impossibly high.

***

The next two weeks sped by surprisingly fast. After I finished catching up on work, it settled back into its predictable routine. Alice and I went out at least twice a week, although we hadn't gone clubbing again, and we were joined once by two of her friends. Kate and Irina worked at the real estate office next to Alice's modeling agency in South Beach; they were both funny and I had a great time with them. Working from home could be incredibly isolating, so I was glad that I was slowly making friends.

Alice and Jasper were thicker than thieves, going out at least two or three times a week, and talking on the phone when they weren't together. She was blissfully in love, and Jasper seemed equally smitten. He'd hung out at the house a couple of times and I found myself genuinely enjoying his presence…he was goofy but sweet, head-over-heels for Alice, and had completely won me over as well. I'd heard all about his other close friend, Emmett, and his girlfriend Rosalie, but Jasper never mentioned Edward and I didn't ask.

It was no surprise, but I hadn't seen or heard anything from Edward since our one night together. I'd been irrationally disappointed at first, hoping that he might at least pass on a hello through Jasper, but I knew deep down that it was better this way. It would suck enough if I happened to see him again in South Beach some evening, watching him hit on a fake-tanned bimbo and knowing that she would be on the receiving end of his sexpertise that night.

Because the fucker's dick had ruined me.

When I fantasized, I thought of his cock and the way he'd used it. I'd woken up from several naughty dreams that featured it prominently. And I was somewhat scared that no other man would be able to satisfy me the way he had. Everyone else would be held against the Edward Masen standard.

I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. It was my twenty-fifth birthday, and if there was ever a day for abandoning regrets, this should be it. I'd convinced Alice that I would rather stay home and get drunk than to go out and get drunk, and she'd reluctantly agreed, perking up when I told her to invite Jasper over for dinner.

Unfortunately work had been a complete pain in the ass that day, Renee had thrown a temper tantrum over the phone when I told her I was not driving up to Jacksonville to celebrate with her and Phil, and to top it off, my truck had refused to start when I'd attempted to go to the store earlier. I'd put in a call to a local classic car dealer who'd promised to get me a quote if I sold it as-is. Not exactly the greatest happy-birthday-to-Bella.

Alice arrived home from work and plopped down on my bed, a brightly-wrapped package in her hands. "I take it your day hasn't gotten any better since the last time I talked to you?"

"Unfortunately not. I thought you were making me dinner as my birthday present?"

"I am. But I had to get you something else too." She grinned and handed over the box. "You'll thank me later, I guarantee it."

I ripped off the cherry-red paper, opened the box, and then burst out laughing. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

"It's the Platinum Jack Rabbit," she replied smugly. "The lady at the sex shop told me it's top of the line, in more ways than one."

"Thanks Alice," I giggled, feeling my spirits lift a little. "This is exactly what I needed. And you got batteries too?"

"Of course." She hopped up and gave me a giant hug. "Even if a vibrator is no match for actual dick, it's better than nothing."

"Indeed," I mused, examining the silver vibrator. "Why don't you spend the night at Jasper's so I can give it a test run later?"

"I was planning on it, actually. I picked up a couple of things for myself at the sex shop too, and figured it was time to make a man out of my guy." The doorbell rang and she grinned. "Speaking of whom, that's probably him. We'll start on dinner, get changed and come have a drink!"

She bounced out of the room and I changed into a cotton sundress, stashing the vibrator in my bedside drawer. It looked like a piece of equipment from the space shuttle next to Old Faithful, and I sighed as I tossed a scarf over them both. Alice was right: no vibrator was a match for actual dick, top of the line or not.

I strolled out into the kitchen, where Jasper jumped up and gallantly presented me with a live orchid, wishing me a happy birthday. I kissed his cheek in thanks and he turned fire-engine red, much to my amusement.

"Hands off my man, Swan," Alice yelled from the corner of the kitchen, where she was cooking hamburgers on her trusty George Forman Grill. Poor Jasper turned even more scarlet.

"Do you ah, have any other plans to celebrate your birthday this evening, Bella?" He'd gotten a lot more comfortable with me, but the bottom line was that Jasper seemed to suffer from terminal shyness when it came to females.

"No, not really. Weird shit always seems to happen on my birthday, call me paranoid but I prefer to keep it as low-key as possible."

"What sorts of anomalies have occurred on your birthday?" Jasper asked curiously as I poured myself a glass of wine.

"Jeez, where to start…there was the year all the hairspray I'd applied ignited when I bent over to blow out the candles…I think that was my thirteenth. And the year Mike Newton spiked my Snapple with vodka and I was grounded for a month because Charlie thought I was drinking."

"Don't forget the year you had the flu and barfed all over that fancy restaurant in Port Angeles!" Alice supplied helpfully. "Or the year you got three speeding tickets in one day."

"And of course, the worst one was the year I met Jackass," I sighed, taking a healthy gulp of merlot.

"Who is Jackass, if you don't mind my asking?"

"My ex." I cocked an eyebrow at Jasper. "I met him on my twentieth birthday. He's kind of the reason that I'm here, in Miami."

"Oh? How did that come about?" This was the most interest Jasper had shown in my personal life.

"He met another woman and threw me out on my ass, basically. Luckily my best friend had a spare room and a kind heart, I can work from anywhere, so here I am."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I help build websites for small businesses."

"Really?" Jasper was completely engaged in the conversation now. "What sort of small businesses?"

"All kinds…I don't really choose them myself, although I occasionally pick up some work on the side. Technically, I'm an independent contractor for a business in California…they do the code-monkey work, I tweak the details and interact with the clients. It's a good partnership, all in all."

Jasper nodded sagely. "Those who are most gifted with technical talents are not often equally adept in customer service and interaction."

"Um, yeah, exactly."

"Dinner-time!" Alice announced, depositing a platter of somewhat-blackened hamburger patties in front of us before plopping down next to Jasper at the table. I automatically reached for the mustard, relish, lettuce, and tomato. Jasper dug into his hamburger with a great deal of enthusiasm; if he was choking on the charcoal between the buns he hid it remarkably well. I smothered my briquette in condiments and downed it as quickly as possible.

When we'd finished with our hamburgers and salad, Alice proudly produced a chocolate cake with HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA! scrawled across the top. "I didn't make it myself," she apologized. "But they've supposedly got the best cakes in town."

I hesitated, not wanting to be a buzzkill or unappreciative bitch, but not wanting to spend another birthday in the ER either. "Um, Alice, did you ask them…"

"Yep!" she declared proudly. "No cross-contamination, I spoke with the owner myself!"

"Contamination?" Jasper asked warily, eyeing his slice of cake.

"I'm allergic to peanuts," I said bluntly. I hated talking about it, but putting it all out there would be easier than Jasper thinking I had some kind of OCD hang-up about rat fur or whatever it was they said ended up in food these days. As it was, enough people thought peanut allergies were total bullshit that I'd become completely averse to discussing it at all. Triple-checking the ingredients in anything I ate was second nature to me, but I rarely brought it up.

Jasper's eyebrows shot upwards. "You have a severe allergy of that nature?"

"Really, it's no big deal," I muttered, digging into my cake. "I don't have a bad reaction unless I eat straight peanuts or peanut butter or something like that. It's just annoying enough to be careful about."

He regarded me seriously. "I do understand, Bella. I'm highly allergic to shellfish. The gastrointestinal response is horrific."

I shook my head, doing my best to block the images of Jasper's gastrointestinal response from my brain. "I hear you, Jasper. I don't have that particular reaction, but I can either break out in hives or swell up like a balloon and stop breathing, depending on the amount of peanuts."

"Yeah, there was this one time, at Jessica Stanley's graduation party…" Alice prattled, either ignoring or oblivious to my glare. "She ate a bunch of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on a dare..."

"Yeah, right, moving on…" I snapped, not enjoying the turn the conversation had taken, rubbing nervously at my lips. I was too paranoid about my birthday luck to chance discussing this particular topic.

"…and that's how we found out she could actually die from eating peanuts. I mean, who knew?"

"Food allergies are not something that should be taken lightly," Jasper agreed solemnly. "There are several interesting studies on the subject, about why food allergies seem to be more prevalent now than they were a generation ago…"

I put my hand on my stomach, feeling queasy from the topic, lips tingling more noticeably now. "Can we change the subject?"

Alice and Jasper exchanged glances. "Um, sure," Alice said finally. "We were thinking about going out to a new club tonight, are you coming with us?"

I coughed a little. "Nah, I'm not really feeling very good, it was a pretty crappy day. Can I take a raincheck?"

"Or we could stay in tonight," Jasper volunteered suddenly. "There is a new series on the National Geographic channel that looked particularly interesting."

I reached for my water glass, my throat suddenly feeling thick. "Don't let me stop you guys, if you want to go out."

"Um…right, well…fuck!" Alice blurted out. "Bella, you don't look so hot."

I didn't feel so hot, to be honest. It was either a rapid onset of the flu, or karma had decided to be a cold-hearted bitch and personally deliver the allergic reaction I'd avoided for so long. "Um…the buns?" I wheezed slightly.

"They were the ones in the freezer, that you bought." Alice was on her feet now, concern creasing her face.

God, I felt like I was simultaneously going to puke and suffocate, if such a thing was possible. "Cake?"

"Oh fuck…Bella, where's your Epi-Pen? In your purse?" Alice demanded, reaching out to yank my plate with its last bite of cake away.

I shook my head, wheezing more, feeling my throat tighten. "Benadryl?"

Alice flashed over to a cabinet and returned with the bottle of liquid Benadryl that I'd stashed there when I unpacked. She wrestled with the child-proof cap before Jasper pulled it away and carefully twisted the top off. "How much…?" he started, before I reached out and grabbed the bottle from him, my hands and arms already feeling fuzzy. I tipped the bottle back and took a couple of heavy chugs, not bothering with the little plastic measuring cup. There were enough functioning brain cells in my clouded mind to remember that my Epi-Pen had expired a few weeks ago. I hadn't had a reaction in years, and I'd been so distracted with the Jackass drama, getting a new one hadn't been high up on my list of priorities.

Alice was still on her feet, wringing her hands. "It must have been the cake, but I talked to the owner, and explained to him…"

I coughed again, the sickening sweet taste of the Benadryl making me want to puke even more now. Alice was at my side in a moment, her arms around me. "Jasper, I think we should take her to the hospital."

He nodded immediately even as I wheezed out a weak "Hell no." Alice's arms tightened around my shoulders.

"Bella, you're having trouble breathing. Just humor me, this once? Please?"

Jasper was already gone even as I reached up to rub my face. "I don't wanna…"

"Too bad. We're going." She grabbed both our purses and hauled me out the door; for such a tiny person Alice could be incredibly strong. She sat in the backseat with me as Jasper drove us to the local ER. Luckily the allergy symptoms hadn't gotten any worse, but the Benadryl I'd sucked down was hitting me like a mack truck. I must have looked pretty out of it because they hustled us into the back right away, leaving Jasper in the waiting room. By the time the triage nurse tried to strap a blood pressure cuff on me, I was giggling like I was drunk.

"Alice…I want you to sing happy birthday to meeee!" At some point I'd started hiccupping too. "Because it's always a fucked up birthday…and a beautiful day in the neighborhood…"

"Shh, Bella, just calm down and be quiet," Alice replied frantically, her eyes darting around us. I didn't know what the hell she was looking at, they'd parked my ass on a bed surrounded by a curtain.

"Don't they even have rooms anymore? The service in this place sucks!" I announced loudly.

"Shhhh!"

"Don't shush me, Mary Alice Brandon! You're the one who fed me Cake o' Death." I stumbled over the last words but then giggled at how clever I was. I was about to make another comment about shitty birthdays when the curtain was pulled back and…oh, hellllloooo doctor!

"You're cute!" I told the hottie in the white coat.

"Bella!" Alice looked mortified. "I'm so sorry, she has a really weird reaction to Benadryl, and I think she took quite a bit."

"It's no problem." Dr. Sex-on-Legs said, smiling. "I'm Dr. Cullen. How are you feeling, Bella?"

I eyeballed him appreciatively, from his blond hair, down his long legs, to the tips of his toes. "I'm great now."

"No more problems breathing?"

"Wellll…I dunno, I think I might need mouth-to-mouth."

Alice gave me a withering look as Dr. Fuck-Me-Please choked back a laugh and turned to her. "How do you think she was exposed to the peanuts?"

"I like nuts!" I said proudly, but they both ignored me this time.

"I got her a cake from Bronner's Bakery, in Coral Gables. I spoke with the owner and he assured me that they're very careful about preventing cross-contamination, but obviously they're not."

Dr. Do-Me-Now frowned and wrote something down on the chart he had in his hands. "We've actually had several cases like this come in after having eaten food from that bakery. It looks like I'll be making another phone call to the health inspector. So you said she took liquid Benadryl to counteract the reaction? But that the symptoms weren't too severe?"

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, sticking my lip out in a pout. They were both obviously going to ignore me, so I took the opportunity to size up the good doctor as he spoke with Alice. He was definitely the best-looking doctor I'd ever had in the hospital, and God knows I'd had plenty. I tried to peek at his ass, but it was covered up by his white coat, so instead I eye-fucked my way up his body. Under the sexy coat he was wearing a royal blue dress shirt that nicely accentuated a solid chest and an expensive-looking tie that I imagined wrapping around my fist as he took me for a ride. Riding Dr. McYummy…ooooh…

He wrote a few more notes in the chart and then set it aside, turning to me with a smile that crinkled up the corners of his bright blue eyes. "I think you'll be just fine, Bella. I'm going to examine you real quick as a precaution, but then I think you'll be on your way. Now take a few deep breaths for me…in…and out."

I complied without comment after catching the evil glare that Alice was shooting my way. I was pretty sure I was supposed to be ashamed that I was having naughty nurse fantasies as he listened to my heart and lungs, but fuck if I cared. Because seriously, Dr. Scream-My-Name smelled really really good. As his hands gently moved along under my jaw, I turned my head and took a nice long sniff of his sexy white doctor's coat.

"You smell great…like cotton balls," I told him in my most seductive voice.

He grinned openly that time. "What do sterile cotton balls smell like?"

I batted my lashes at him. "I don't know, but I like it."

Alice looked like she wanted to punch me in the head.

Dr. Make-Me-See-God chuckled and wrote down a final note in the chart. "She'll be fine as soon as the Benadryl wears off."

"I'm so sorry about this, she's not usually like this at all."

"Don't worry about it, even over-the-counter medicines can provoke some strange reactions in the human body. Take her home, get her into bed, check on her a couple of times overnight. A nurse will call tomorrow to follow up, but I'm pretty sure everything is okay. Bring her back in if the symptoms return."

"Will you be here?" I asked brightly, wondering if I could get my hands in his sexy blond hair next time.

"Probably so. Goodnight, Bella, take care of yourself."

"Same to you!" I called, considering trying to slap his ass as he left my little curtained nook.

"Bella, oh my God!" Alice hissed. "Since when does Benadryl turn you into a raving nymphomaniac?"

"Since that hot piece of ass walked in here," I replied cheerfully. There was a muffled sound, like a cough from the other side of the curtain, and Alice kicked me.

"You are not to speak again until we leave, got it? If I have to tape your mouth shut, I will."

"Fine," I said sulkily, pouting like a toddler. "Happy fuckin' birthday to me."

***

I woke up the next morning feeling groggy and almost hungover. Apparently the birthday curse was alive and well…my memory of the night before was hazy, but I remembered enough to know it hadn't been fun...and that I owed Alice a big apology.

I groaned and sat up in bed, Alice appeared at my door as if on cue. "Good morning sunshine! Feeling better?"

"Better is a relative term, but yeah. I'm sorry you had to babysit my pathetic ass last night."

She giggled and plopped down on the bed. "Since I'm the one who fed you the Cake o' Death, as you put it, it was the least I could do."

"Is Jasper traumatized for life?"

"No, he was really worried. He stayed the night and we took turns checking on you, to make sure you were still breathing."

"Stupid fucking allergy," I muttered.

"Actually your reaction wasn't that bad, but the Benadryl you took sure messed you up."

"What did I do?"

"You don't remember trying to molest the ER doctor?"

A hazy memory, something about naughty nurse fantasies, flitted through my mind. "Oh God, what did I say?"

"You made comments about nuts and balls and his ass."

"Oh fuck." I could feel my face heating up. "Was he traumatized?"

Alice laughed. "Nah, he was a really good sport about it. It's a good thing he was so hot, though…it would be twice as embarrassing if he'd had a bald spot and a beer gut. I don't know why I always get the old fart doctors…I've never seen one that good-looking. He looked like a movie star."

"We can never go back to that hospital again," I moaned. "I should send him flowers and an apology card."

She rolled her eyes. "Somehow I don't think having a cute young thing hit on him is the worst thing that happened in his day. At least you didn't throw up on him or anything."

"Well that makes me feel much better." I slouched back down under the covers. "I think I'm going to try and get a couple more hours of sleep."

"Good idea. I've got to go to work, but here's your phone." She set it on the bedside table. "Call me if you need anything. Oh, and Dr. Cullen said a nurse is supposed to be calling to check on you, so make sure you answer it."

"Okay, mom," I said obediently.

She reached over and gave me a quick hug. "I'm glad you're okay. Remember, call me if you need to!"

After Alice left I snuggled back under the covers and drifted off to sleep. I was awakened a couple of hours later by the ringing of my phone; the phone number was unfamiliar but I remembered Alice's warning that a nurse from the hospital would be calling to follow up.

"Hello?" I answered sleepily.

"Bella Swan? This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen from the hospital, calling to check up on you."

Oh fuck, it figures that the hot doctor I'd tried to molest would be the one to call me. I shot up in bed, rubbing a hand over my face. "Oh, hi…listen, I am so sorry about last night. I mean, I don't remember much but apparently I was completely inappropriate and I wanted to apologize…"

He laughed. "No apology needed, truly. I see much stranger things on a daily basis."

I blew out a deep breath. "Yeah, but I'm not usually like that at all. I'm really embarrassed."

"Don't be, I'm just glad you're all right. Are you feeling better? No problems breathing, no residual symptoms from the allergic reaction?"

"No, I'm fine, honestly. I was a little groggy earlier, but I feel much better now."

"I assume you have an Epi-Pen?"

"Yeah, but it's expired…I just moved here a few weeks ago and getting a new one completely slipped my mind. I haven't had a reaction in years."

"Make sure you take the expired one in and exchange it for a new one today. Doctor's orders. You're fine to drive but you may want to take the day off work, just to give your body a chance to fully recover from the allergic reaction."

"I work from home, it's no big deal."

"Oh?" I could hear him writing in the background. "What do you do?"

"I build websites for small businesses."

There was a slight pause. "Really? You do that by yourself?"

"Well, I work for a company based out of California. The guys there do the majority of the build work, and then I work with the clients to tweak it into exactly what they want."

"I ask because I'm looking for someone to build a website for me at the moment. This is actually my last week at the hospital, I'm opening up a private practice next month and wanted a simple website for it. Just basic information: location, hours, a meet-your-doctor page, and so on."

"Oh, I could do that for you myself," I said, my interest piqued. "I mean, as long as you don't want a huge complicated website, I could do all the building and code for you, and I'd only charge you half of what the company I work for would."

"Charge me whatever your normal fee is, I'm just happy to have found someone with almost no effort on my part. I'm running around like a madman right now as it is."

I blinked, it sounded like I was hired. "Would you like to see some examples of my work? I could e-mail you the addresses of a few sites I've built."

"Better yet, if you don't mind, why don't we set up a business meeting? A late lunch, perhaps? I could tell you exactly what I'm looking for and then I'll leave the rest up to you."

"Um, sure." I tried to switch my brain over to business mode. "When were you thinking?"

"How about the day after tomorrow, Friday? I'm working the midnight shift that evening so I'll have plenty of time for a lunch meeting. Is two o'clock convenient for you?"

"Absolutely." I made a mental note to get my portfolio updated today. "Where would you like to meet?"

"Your address in your chart is in Coral Gables, I know a wonderful Italian restaurant there called Portofino. How does that sound?"

"Perfect."

"Great!" He sounded pleased. "I won't keep you, but I look forward to seeing you again."

"Yeah, you can meet the real Bella Swan, not the doped-up stranger who was masquerading as me last night."

He laughed. "That reminds me, I wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday. I'm sorry that it ended up with you in the ER, but I'm glad we met."

"Me too. I mean, I'm glad you're taking me seriously after the way I acted."

"No harm done. All right then, Bella, I will see you on Friday, have a great rest of the week!"

"You too, Dr. Cullen. And thanks again." I hung up the phone, my mind humming.

Was it wrong that I was going to have a business relationship with someone I'd attempted to hump in the middle of the ER? Probably, but he'd been completely professional in a no-harm-no-foul kind of way. Thank God for that.

I got up and looked at the discharge and aftercare papers Alice had left on my desk; Dr. Carlisle Cullen's neat signature was at the bottom. Hmm, why in the world had he called me, weren't doctors too busy to do that kind of follow up these days? Especially since my allergic reaction hadn't been that severe. Oh well, if it scored me a build job on the side, it would be worth it...

I groaned as another memory from the day before hit me. Yep, another job would be good…because I had to start looking for a new car.

A/N:

Kate: La la la, I got to write about Dr. McYummy's cotton balls!
Brits: Oh yeah? Well I'll be writing the next chapter in CPOV, so I can do an entire scene of him playing with his cotton balls if I wanted to. *sticks tongue out at Kate*
Kate: Oh YEAH? Well...I...I can't top that. *Kate cries*
Brits: Don't cry! The readers want to hear about said balls through BPOV...you must prevail!
Kate dries her tears: Oh yeah! Maybe he can help her break in that Platinum Jack Rabbit?!?
Brits: Oh God...you have no idea the depraved and kinky things that you've just set off in my mind....I better get writing! Dr. Fuck-Me-Now, here I come! *Cough*
Kate: Hey Brits, what do you say about us offering a little incentive for people to review?
Brits: I'm listening...
Kate: Like maybe you could let Edward out to play a little next chapter too? Reviews make him as happy as they make us!
Brits: Playboyward and the HotDoc in one chapter? Do you really think they can handle all that sexiness??
Kate: I don't know...I guess they'd better tell us! *smiles pretty at the lovely readers* Review please?
Brits: Leave us some love and inspire me to get cracking on the next chapter! :) Until next time!