Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters should pray for their good fortune.
Title: A Sacrifice for a Friend
Summary: Merlin takes up a second job to help Gaius pay off a debt, but this job involves serving the desires of other men, especially the knights of Camelot. How will Arthur react when he finds out about this? Possibly slash Warning: violent sex
Author's Note- I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I will be busy for the next couple days, but I will update as soon as I am able.
~[~ (Merlin's POV)
Merlin was indeed bright and early when it came time to meet Arthur the next morning. He was feeling a bit better and could walk again with some difficulty, but even though his physical being was doing better, his mental state was not. He had a horrific nightmare which had startled him into complete awareness before dawn. He knew he would not sleep anytime soon peacefully after what he saw. The dream was of him and Arthur, and they were going about their usual routine when Arthur suddenly turned cold and his eyes hardened. He pushed Merlin roughly against the wall and began to tear off his clothes, all the while telling him how he knew about his night job and how Merlin was his servant and thus should be pleasing him as well. Merlin awoke screaming shortly after Arthur began violently raping him in his dream, and as strange as it sounded he needed to see Arthur to finally accept in his head that it was just a bad dream.
He surprised Arthur when he showed up with a delicious breakfast of ham, cheese, and bread the next morning. It certainly was fit for a king and Arthur was pleased. Merlin silently cleaned Arthur's room as he ate, and this seemed to unnerve the prince. Merlin felt Arthur's eyes on him scanning his body and looking for signs. His body still ached and he knew that he was struggling to do some of the more basic tasks, but he had always been a klutz, and never received much credit for his work anyway, so he assumed that Arthur would let it go. However, he was wrong and mildly unnerved when Arthur asked with a mouth full of food "What's wrong?"
Thinking quickly Merlin straightened his posture and fought the pain, flashing Arthur one of his typical smiles. "Nothing, nothing is wrong. Are you finished with that because if you are then I'll take it back to the kitchen for you? Just call me if you need me then." Merlin was sure that Arthur could see his nervousness, but was taken by surprise when Arthur pulled on his sleeve hard enough to cause him to fall into a sitting position on his bed. Merlin held back a yelp, but did let out a hiss which he knew did not escape the prince's attention.
Arthur grinned at him and put his arm around Merlin's shoulder. "Funny, I really think there is something wrong with you so why don't you just come out with it." The arm around his shoulder tightened its grip, and then the hand began to descend lightly tracing his side to rest on his hip. Even though the gesture was sweet and gentle, it still hurt when Arthur brushed the bruises. However, Merlin kept his face mostly impassive and tried not to cringe away from the familiar touch since he knew Arthur was only trying to keep him from escaping like he usually did.
He sighed prying the hand off his hip before dropping it on the bed. Arthur looked hurt by this action, but allowed it and did not try to reach for him again. Merlin looked Arthur dead in the eye and said "Really I'm fine, don't worry. I'll be right back after I take your plate to the kitchen." Arthur still continued to look hurt and even grabbed Merlin's hand as he stood holding it for a second while never wavering in his searching gaze that bore into Merlin's soul. It unnerved Merlin more, and remembering his dream he grabbed the try and left quickly.
~[~ (Merlin's POV)
Merlin knew that he was lingering in the kitchens for an abnormal amount of time, but he just couldn't face Arthur right now. He needed time to think, and time to recover. He was still planning to keep his second job, at least for now until Gaius had received enough money to pay off his debt. He had calculated that to be about six weeks to two months worth of work, and though he was not enjoying the thought, he knew that Gaius would be more than grateful. Gaius's happy face was enough to give him the strength to continue with this, and he hoped that once it was over he would be able to move on and forget about the entire experience.
Gwen entered the kitchen at that moment also carrying Morgana's breakfast plate. She flashed him a bright smile and uttered a playful "Hello, how's your day today. I heard you were sick yesterday. Spending too much time at the tavern are we now Merlin."
Even though the words were playful they struck a chord and Merlin officially knew that he would have to do away with that joke now since it was clearly true, even if he wasn't doing exactly what people thought he was there. He could only imagine if this secret got out, and he personally would prefer being executed for his magic over suffering the humiliation and shame that came with being a tavern whore. The worst part was that he knew Arthur would lose all interest in him if this were discovered, and for some reason that hurt the most.
"Ya, um… that's it, you caught me." He flashed a weak smile and cast his eyes downward.
This time Gwen looked concerned and after discarding the tray she came to Merlin's side and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright. Perhaps you should check in with Gaius since you really do look unwell."
"No I'm fine, just tired is all. Don't worry I'm feeling great." He even stood up and took her hand briefly giving it a quick squeeze for reassurance, though whether the reassurance was for him or her he was uncertain. "Well I better get going, you know how Arthur gets."
Gwen regarded him carefully but let it go and said "Alright well good luck with that one." They parted and Merlin walked slowly back to Arthur's room.
If Arthur noted his long absence he did not comment and if he did Merlin would have just mentioned his conversation with Gwen. He let Merlin be for the rest of the day only giving him orders and keeping his comments to himself. This however made the environment tense and Merlin became more nervous than usual. He could tell Arthur was hurt by his rejection earlier, but he was just not ready for comfort yet. He wished he could make Arthur understand, but he knew that he couldn't without telling him the truth which was not an option he was willing to consider. At the end of the day Arthur walked up to him and gently grabbed his arm with one hand and used the other to tilt Merlin's chin up so their gazes locked. "Get some rest alright. I can see that you still aren't feeling better. You are dismissed for the rest of the day." Merlin nodded and numbly rushed back to his room.
The next few days went by relatively the same, with Arthur making sure to provide Merlin with adequate space and keeping all his touches when necessary light and gentle. It calmed Merlin's nerves some to have the crown prince being so protective of him, but he knew that tonight he was expected back at the tavern, and nothing Arthur could do would protect him there.
~[~ (Merlin's POV)
Merlin was extremely nervous tonight. He was not completely healed from his first experience and was not sure he could take being pounded into like that again. He shivered at the thought as he walked to the tavern and once he reached it he had to force himself to walk inside. He went to the room his virginity had been auctioned off in before and stood waiting to see if someone wanted his company.
As he waited he reflected on his last experience here. He couldn't believe that he had given up his virginity like that, and to who just made it even worse. But, he needed to be strong now and not show any weakness. He tried to convince himself that it wouldn't be as bad this time, and that the first experience was the worst.
The knights of Camelot were back again tonight and that made Merlin's stomach drop even more, even though he was sure that they were keeping his secret for him. Eventually he was approached by Leon who was a good friend of Arthur's. They talked for a moment before deciding to go to the back rooms.
Merlin picked a simple room and waited for Leon to return nervously. He hoped that since Leon was a friend and not a foe that he wouldn't be too rough and that it might not be as bad. He leaned back against the wall and brought his knees up close to chest resting his chin on them. He was watching the door tensely, nervous for the events to come. His breathing had sped up and he was sure that the pounding of his heart could be heard in the room.
When Leon returned from paying and reentered the room Merlin uncurled himself from his tense position a bit. Leon seemed to sense his nervousness ahead of time and said "Don't worry I'll take care, and you'll enjoy it. Just lay back and relax." Leon continued to strip himself of his armor and when he was finished he joined Merlin on the bed.
Merlin had lain back as he had asked and was waiting. He was terribly nervous and was looking anywhere but the man in front of him. Leon laughed lightly in his ear as he leaned over him and whispered "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were still a virgin." He then nipped lightly at Merlin's ear. Leon began to remove Merlin's top and neckerchief gently and then observed what was left of the marks on Merlin's chest. The knight looked at him sadly and lightly touched the bruises earning a whimper from Merlin. "Shh… It's okay. I promise to be careful." Those words helped Merlin relax a little and it was then that Leon began gently stroking his sides and pinching his nipples. This was a new sensation and Merlin admitted that he enjoyed it, and so he made a small noise of encouragement. The knight laughed again and continued the foreplay until Merlin was panting and breathless, most of his nervousness forgotten.
By the time they were both naked though the nervousness had returned. Leon pulled out a small bottle and poured the contents onto his fingers. Merlin observed curiously as spread it thoroughly across his length. Then Leon whispered gently "Ready?" Nodding his head Merlin was preparing for the pain that was to follow, but was surprised to only be probed by a finger. It was still uncomfortable but he relaxed around it and soon adjusted. Leon repeated the routine by slowly inserting more fingers giving Merlin some time to adjust. When he was accustomed to three Leon began to search until he brushed Merlin's prostate, eliciting a scream of pleasure. Leon smirked and pinned Merlin's arms above his head before thrusting in slowly. He pushed in slowly enough that the pain was minimal and brushed Merlin's prostate distracting him from the worst of it. Leon set an easy pace and Merlin was thoroughly enjoying the gentle treatment. Soon Leon picked up his trusts and all Merlin felt was pleasure, the pain forgotten. He soon came, with Leon following shortly after.
When it was over they laid next to each other for a moment before Leon redressed and flashed him a smile as he left. Merlin decided that he better go too, and quickly dashed to retrieve his money before heading home.
However, once he reached his room the reality began to sink in and he realized that he had actually enjoyed the night. For some reason this made him feel worse than the first night when his mind was fogged with pain. He realized that, yes he had enjoyed the gentle treatment, and that he had actually had an orgasm. That thought made him sick, and he rushed to a nearby bucket dry heaving into it for a few moments. He knew that Leon had been trying to do him a favor, but it was just too much to accept that he had received pleasure from another man, and it was made worse by the fact that it was one of Arthur's friends.
The thought that he had achieved a pleasurable experience was horrible enough, but since it was at the hands of Leon, a knight of Camelot and friend of Arthur, Merlin felt like his world was ending. The only thought he could focus on was Arthur finding out from Leon that they had slept together. Surely Arthur would feel sickened by Merlin for such acts, especially since he enjoyed them.
Merlin crawled into his bed and cried. He cried because he was so confused and didn't know whether he was supposed to feel pleasure or pain, both maybe even. Also, he felt scared, sick, and unsure. He was beginning to understand the impassive looks that the others wore when they were working. They had long since given up on pride, dignity, and even attachment. Sex was a game to them, and it no longer served any other purpose than filling their pockets. He hoped that he wouldn't end up the same way, but in his heart he knew he would, and he could already feel the numbness creeping in to replace the confusion. Soon he would be a mindless whore, one used for sex then discarded to be left used, broken, and abandoned. He sobbed harder now only wishing to disappear, and so he hid under his covers until he cried himself to sleep.
~[~
The next chapter is going to pick up a bit and Arthur is going to get more involved. It will also cover a greater span of time, and Merlin will be slowly becoming numb to his situation. I hope you are all enjoying the story so far, and I will try to update soon.