Fair warning: This is far angstier than the previous chapters!

Andy awoke to the sound of sniffling. At first he thought April had a stuffy nose. He was about to lean over and grab the box of tissues off their nightstand, until he realized that she was crying. He knew she hated crying in front of people, especially him, so he tried to pretend he didn't notice. For what felt like hours he felt her shaking in bed next to him, and heard her heaving sobs until his heart couldn't take it anymore. He reached over and pulled her closer to him.

"Baby," he said, pressing his nose into her hair. "I've got you. It's going to be okay."

He wasn't sure how she'd react. The last time he tried to comfort her she pulled away from him. That was the day they got the news from their doctor that there wasn't a heartbeat. Their baby was gone.

She'd been all about comforting him since then; listening to him talk about his disappointment and heartache, cooking him his favorite food, telling him what a great father he would be one day. But, whenever he tried to return the favor she wouldn't let him, and that just killed him.

But, this night was different. On this night, for whatever reason, she accepted his comfort. She grabbed on to him tightly and sobbed into his chest. It felt so good to him to finally have her in his arms, to finally be able to do something to help his wife who he knew was dying inside. He knew it because he felt the same way.

"I'm sorry" she said. "Andy, I'm so, so sorry."

"Sorry?" he asked. "For what?"

"You've wanted kids since I've known you. You talked about it on our first date, having a son was on your bucket list, and when I told you I was pregnant you were so happy. I've never seen you that happy."

"You're right, but that still doesn't explain why you're apologizing to me."

"Andy, I don't want to be the reason you don't have kids."

"You won't be" he scoffed.

"Andy" she said, lifting her head to look up at him in the eye. "I'm scared. If I get pregnant again, and I lose that baby too…"

"Hey" he said, brushing a tear from her cheek. "We're not there yet, okay? Let's just take this one step at a time."

"Andy, what I'm trying to say is that from where I'm standing right now- I don't see myself ever wanting to get pregnant again."

"Oh" he said. "I didn't realize- I just thought-"

She sat up in bed, and buried her head in her hands. "I've been thinking about this for a long time. And if this is like a deal breaker for you, I get it. Okay?"

"What?" Andy scoffed.

"I want so badly to give you a baby, but it just doesn't feel right now, and I don't know when it will again. If I have another miscarriage, I don't think I'll make it Andy."

"April Ludgate, you are the stupidest woman I know."

"What?" she asked, chocking back a sob.

"I would love to have babies with you, but if it doesn't happen…whatever. I could still be happy. But, if I lost you, I couldn't make it."

"Really?"

"Of course" he said, kissing her cheek. "You've been keeping all of this inside for so long?"

"I didn't want to lose you."

"Baby, you will never loose me. You can tell me anything, just please don't shut me out."

She moved her head back to his shoulder, fell into him completely. "I miss her so much. I still think I can feel her sometimes, moving around and kicking me."

"She would have been so pretty" he said. "Just like her mom."

"Do you think there's a heaven? Where the three of us will all be back together someday?"

"Yeah" he smiled. "I think there is."