Chapter 3:
"Aden, what would you do to Titus if you were Heda?" Lexa asked Aden who stood next to her in front of Titus who was kneeling on the floor in the room that only a few days ago had been the location of a grounder's death at Titus's hand to protect Lexa.
"I do not know, Heda." Aden replied confused while Titus looked on.
Lexa turned to him.
"Did you not vow to protect the Sky People as they are a member of the coalition?" She questioned.
"But are they still? Their leader rejected the alliance."
"Pike will be taken care of." She turned to stare at Titus and took a few steps toward him. He had no guards holding him in his kneeling position. The guards stood back toward the doors, but she knew she would not require them. "What would you do, Flamekeeper? You seem to think you know better than the Commander what is right. What would you do if you were Heda?"
"Heda, I am prepared to accept my punishment. I am ready for death." He lowered his head.
"Heda, is death a punishment we are allowed to deliver? The Sky People are not of the coalition. They are the enemy now. Titus attacked the enemy." Aden took a step forward, but stopped when Lexa turned back toward him, her black war paint alighting her bright yet somehow still dark eyes.
"The Commander decides what punishment is appropriate, Aden." She answered his question in a tone of frustration and then recognized the look of fear in the boy's eyes. "That is all. Leave us." She ordered a little more gently and the boy nodded and walked past them toward the doors that were opened by the two guards.
"Lexa, you must know I never intended-" Titus lifted his head and began.
"Your intentions were to murder Clarke, blame Murphy and start a war between our people."
"My duty is to protect you, Heda and the decisions you were making were made out of-" He started.
Lexa moved quickly to stand over him. In one swift movement, she had removed her long sword from its sheath and pressed it hard against Titus's skin. A trickle of blood slowly rolled down to the fabric of his robe while she stared at him intently.
"Your duty is to obey me!" She yelled. "Your duty is to provide me guidance, but to follow my command. That is your duty, Titus. Hod yu rein daun, teacher!" She kept the sword at his neck and watched as he closed his eyes.
"I do know my place, Heda. You love Wanheda." He lifted his bound hands as if in prayer. "You will always defer to her in times where you should trust your own people, your teachers."
"Clarke is my people. I swore fealty to her and the Sky People and I did so because it would prevent future wars, future death; not merely because of feelings." She lowered her sword and left it hanging at her side. "You should have trusted me, Titus. I trusted you."
"I did what I thought was right, Heda."
"And now so must I." She slid her sword back in its sheath. "I can no longer trust you, Titus. You will only seek to finish what you started and I will not risk Clarke's life because you fail to see that peace can be our way. We can work with Skaikru to take out their leadership that prefers war to peace. You could have been a part of the solution to what has caused countless deaths throughout our history." She paused as he met her eye. "Instead, you have chosen to become part of the problem."
"Heda, I accept my death."
"You accept it too freely, Titus. Death is not going to be granted today. You will join the Mountain Man in banishment from my lands. You will never again know the confidence of a Commander. This is your greatest fear and this will be your punishment." She motioned to the guards to approach and pick him up. As he stood in front of her, she took her knife and undid his binds. "This punishment is worse than death. Solitude for a teacher." She nodded and watched as the guards pulled him backwards by the arms.
"Heda, hod op!" Titus yelled as he was being pulled through the doors.
Lexa watched and after the doors closed behind them, leaving her all alone, she let out a sigh and hung her head. She'd just lost her teacher, advisor, protector, and father figure. She told herself it was right for her people. She couldn't have someone she no longer trusted in her alliance, but that wasn't the only reason she banished Titus.
The heavy doors to her room were pushed open for her by the guard she had remain outside the room to keep watch over Clarke. She moved into the room gracefully and noticed Clarke was still asleep. Abby was keeping watch over her in a chair by the bed.
"How is she?" Lexa asked while clasping her hands behind her back and standing at the end of the bed.
"She's stable. We need to get her the medication from Arkadia to help stave off an infection."
"Octavia will return soon." Lexa offered kindly.
"I hope so." Abby leaned over and took Clarke's hand. "What happened?" She asked.
"One of my people did this. He has been dealt with." Lexa replied.
"I want the details, Lexa." Abby glare in her direction told Lexa she was not looking at the Commander, but at the woman Lexa also was. Abby was smart enough to know Lexa was more than just the Commander to her daughter even if it took Lexa a long time to see that herself after all that had happened between them. "How did my daughter end up getting shot? She was supposed to be safe here."
"Titus believed I was letting… things get in the way of my duty as Commander." She glanced at Clarke's sleeping form and then back at Abby.
"He blamed Clarke."
"He blamed me, but his duty was to me. He punished her." She knew Titus blamed Clarke's influence over her, but indirectly, that meant he blamed his Commander for allowing that influence. He couldn't harm Lexa, but he could end that influence by taking Clarke's life.
"And who is your duty to, Lexa?" Abby questioned her, removing her hand from Clarke's and leaning back in the chair.
Lexa hung her head. She lifted it when she heard Clarke mutter her name in a breathy tone while still asleep. Abby glanced at Clarke as well before returning her attention to Lexa.
"My duty is to my people." Lexa finally replied. "But Clarke is…" She started and stared at the girl in the bed. "Clarke is my people."
"She can't belong here, Lexa."
"She does belong here." Lexa retorted quickly while taking a defensive step toward the bed.
"She can't if she's not safe here." Abby looked back to Clarke. "I'm not just saying this as her mother or as a doctor, but as a former Chancellor and leader of my people. Being here, puts her at risk. Clarke is important."
"I know."
"She protected those kids when we sent them from the Ark. She led them. She's still a leader even though I was technically in charge." She looked at her daughter. "She's stubborn."
"She's special." Lexa clarified.
"She is." Abby agreed. "No matter what happens with Pike or Kane or me, Clarke can be a leader our people can count on. She's smart and careful while also being strong enough to make the tough decisions. She cares about her people. She cares about the future. She…" Abby stopped herself and looked down at her injured child.
"She will be fine." Lexa offered.
"You care about her?" Abby checked.
Lexa looked at her and nodded once.
There was a knock at the door.
"Enter." Lexa ordered.
Murphy walked into the room.
"Octavia's on the walkie." He told Abby and walked toward her, handing her the radio.
"Octavia?" Abby pressed the button and spoke.
"Yeah, I got what you need, but I can't find Kane. They've got patrols everywhere since the grounders are on the perimeter. I can risk trying to find him, but it could take time and if they catch me-."
Abby and Lexa shared a glance.
"Can you find Raven?" Abby asked.
"Raven's all doped up on that City of Light crap. We can't trust her. Lincoln's locked up. I can't find Miller or Monty. Kane's not responding to my call. He must not have his radio on him. I'm near the exit. I just need a decision. Do you want me to turn back or get you the drugs for Clarke?"
"Ask her where Indra is." Lexa told her.
"Octavia, what about Indra?"
"She's guarding the exit and smoothing things over with the grounders to keep them from trying to kill me. Yes, or no, Abby? Stay or go?"
"May I?" Lexa asked. Abby nodded almost reluctantly and Lexa walked the few steps around the bed and took the radio. "Octavia?" She pressed the button.
"Lexa?"
"Return with the medicine." She said into the radio while looking at Clarke. "Indra must remain behind with the radio. Have her attempt to contact Kane every 15 minutes to arrange a meeting."
"Abby?" Octavia checked.
"Yu sou Octavia kom Trikru. Ai laik yu Heda." Lexa reminded.
There was a silence on the other end of the radio.
"Sha Heda." Octavia finally returned. "Abby, I'm on my way."
Lexa handed Abby back the radio. She, in turn, handed it to Murphy.
"What should I do?" Murphy asked. "I can't exactly go back to Arkadia."
"I'll have a room made up for you." Lexa exchanged and walked toward the door to open it. Abby and Murphy watched her speak to a guard and then return. "Follow him." She looked to Abby. "You're free to remain in here with Clarke, but I've had a room prepared for you as well."
Abby looked around for a moment.
"This is your room." She seemed to realize for the first time.
"Yes."
"Will you watch her?" Abby asked. "I'll be back in an hour to check on her. I just need-"
"Rest. I'll have food brought to your room. I will notify you if her condition changes." Lexa assured.
"I'll be back in an hour." Abby restated.
"Mom, I'm fine. Go get some sleep." Clarke had apparently been listening to them for a least the last few moments. Her eyes opened slowly as she stared at her mother. "You need to sleep too."
"How do you feel?" Abby took her hand.
"I'm okay. Just sore mostly. Go. I'm fine." Clarke replied.
"Octavia will be back with the medication by tomorrow morning."
"Good." Clarke told her. "I'll be okay until then."
"You should eat something."
"I'll have something brought in for her." Lexa spoke up and Clarke turned her gaze toward her.
Abby watched the two of them glancing at one another and recognized the moment.
"I'll let you have your room." She told Lexa and began walking toward the door. "If anything-"
"She knows, mom." Clarke spoke more loudly.
Abby smirked at her daughter, feeling happy that at least her stubbornness had returned. She walked through the door and was met by a guard who walked her and Murphy toward their rooms.
"How do you feel?" Lexa asked, returning her eyes to Clarke while still standing near the bed and clasping her hands again behind her back.
"Are they safe here?" Clarke asked about her mom and Murphy.
"Titus has been banished." Lexa explained.
Clarke smiled shyly at her.
"It's not just him."
"I know." Lexa replied quickly. "They will be safe, Clarke."
Clarke stared at her and noticed she appeared nervous.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Lexa answered.
Clarke smiled at her.
"You can come closer. I won't break, Lexa."
Lexa remained unmoving.
"I should change." She started to walk off toward her private bathroom.
Clarke tried to sit up slightly and felt a little pain, but not as much as before. She lifted her bandage and could see that she was beginning to heal and she replaced it quickly knowing Lexa wouldn't want her messing with it. She reached over to the table and took a long drink from the water she'd be left and then replaced the glass. Lexa returned moments later minus the war paint and with her hair down and to the side as it had been that day. She was running her fingers through it nervously when she stood, yet again, by the bed.
"Lexa…"
"I'll have food brought-"
"Lexa, stop!" Clarke nearly yelled. She took a deep breath. "It's late." She motioned lightly with out the window and noted the flickering light of the candles with her hand. "Please, just lie down with me."
Lexa stopped toying with her hair and walked around to the other side of the bed. She pulled back the blankets and slowly slid under them.
"What if Abby returns in an hour? Maybe I shouldn't sleep here."
"Are you afraid of my mom?" Clarke smirked at her as she watched her half sit down/half lie down next to her. Lexa hung her head in a smile and shook it slightly back and forth. "What's really bothering you?"
"How can you ask me that?" Lexa questioned without meeting her eye.
"I'm fine-"
"Stop saying that, Clarke." Lexa turned to look at her and Clarke saw that the smile was gone. Her eyes were glazy. "You were shot. You nearly died."
"Aren't you always the one telling me that death is not the end?" Clarke tried. She reached for Lexa's hand, but Lexa pulled it away.
"I just-" She stopped herself, looked down at Clarke's hand, which was still just resting there and moved her own to cover it at last. "I waited, Clarke."
"I know."
"I never thought we'd-"
"I know."
"And then you were here and we were together and then I almost lost you."
"I'd feel the same way if the bullet had hit you." Clarke admitted and spread her fingers out so Lexa would slide hers between them. She watched as Lexa took their linked hands and pressed Clarke's to her lips lovingly. "We spent so much time talking about war and death."
"I don't want to talk about that now."
"We don't have to talk at all." Clarke's smile was wide as she watched Lexa turn to look at her and Clarke's smile faded a little as she watched Lexa's expand. "Wow." She barely uttered.
"What?" Lexa asked confused; her smile fading.
"Nothing." She shook her head. "Tell me about Titus, Arkadia. Did Octavia meet with Kane?"
"Not now, Clarke."
"Lexa, I'm okay. I need-"
"You need to rest. Slide down." She told her and moved a little so Clarke could slide her body back down into a comfortable sleeping position.
"You know this is probably the only time you'll get me to just obey you without a debate, right?"
"I have no problems with our debates, Clarke." Lexa slid down herself and while on her side, rested her hand over Clarke's stomach ever so gently. "Does this hurt?"
"No." Clarke answered her. Lexa's eyes looked heavy. "Have you slept since it happened?"
"A Commander-"
"Is still human, Lexa." Clarke finished for her.
She covered Lexa's hand with her own again and began playing with her fingers.
"What would I have done, Clarke?" Lexa asked her, leaning forward and sliding her body along so she could be closer to Clarke. Her head rested on her elbow and Clarke's eyes remained on their linked hands.
"You would have been fine. You were fine without me before. You'd be fine without me if something had happened." She turned to look at her. "If something does happen." Lexa didn't say anything. Her eyes flitted from Clarke's eyes to her lips and then back again. "I'm the one that should be worried about if something had happened to you."
"I told you the next Commander would protect you." Lexa reminded her.
"I don't want the next Commander." Clarke stated while leaning forward enough to press her forehead to Lexa's. "I want you." She admitted.
Lexa pulled back for a moment and met Clarke's shy glance with a look of shock before resting her tired eyes by closing them and leaning in to press her lips against Clarke's. Clarke reciprocated, but only slightly at first before she felt Lexa's hand move from her stomach to her cheek and she used it to brush Clarke's long hair away from her face before cupping her cheek again. The kiss wasn't going anywhere. They both knew that. When they finally pulled back, Clarke took her hand and ran it through Lexa's hair.
"You should sleep now." Lexa told her.
"I like your hair like this." She played with the ends. Lexa smiled shyly again. "No one gets to see you like this, do they?" Clarke questioned.
"Only you."
Clarke smiled.
"Will you fall asleep with me?"
"Yes." Lexa replied and their hands returned to Clarke's stomach. Clarke played with her fingers for a moment before her actions along with her breath slowed and Lexa stared at her chest rise and fall again while her own eyes grew heavier and heavier. She lowered her head onto Clarke's shoulder, careful not to hurt or wake her and finally closed her eyes.
When Abby did return about an hour after she'd left, she found Lexa wrapped around her daughter and both of them comfortably asleep. It both worried her and soothed her somehow at the same time. She opted not to wake them and returned to the room Lexa had setup for her. Clarke shifted in her sleep when she heard the door shut despite Abby's attempt to keep her actions quiet and she realized Lexa was cuddled into her side. She turned her head slightly toward the girl and kissed her forehead, leaving her head there as she fell back asleep.