Hey all, I'm doing another chapter. Seeing as how I'm still on holiday and
I don't go back to university till the 15th of July I'm going to try and
get out a chapter a week. Maybe even two, if I don't hit writers block. I
must say that I'm truly overwhelmed at the response that I've gotten from
all the reviewers! I don't know what to say. It feels so good to know that
people actually like my writing, it's a new feeling and I like it. So, I
want you all to carry on reviewing, and by to make you want to review I'll
keep on trying to keep the story the way you all like it! But now, I'll
attend to the reviews I received.
Amanda (crazy bitch): I'll try to keep the writing of a high standard, I'm thrilled you like my writing. As for what Harry will do, I've had some personal experience that will aid in this chapters writing. As for whether or not the hope will be enough, we'll just have to wait to see.
Wink At J00 (steph): I'm so glad you like my work. I'll keep it up so that you can enjoy it. I'm glad you're enjoying the story as much as you are enjoying it. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.
KamirineGoddess (kami): Well, you wanted to see action happening in this chapter, and I was inspired to let it happen. I hope you like it!
princess55: Well, if you thought the last update was fast, this one, well, I just kinda went super speed with it! You think I'm a good writer? Lol. Thanks for the kind words!
Dxdevlin: I'm sorry you think it's depressing. Though, I hope you enjoyed it. It's very raw I guess.
Usagibuffy: Well, the fic is starting to gain some momentum now, I hope I didn't disappoint you. Thanks for reviewing!
John: You wanted an update ASAP, well, was this quick enough for you? Lol.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. are all trademarks of Warner Bros. and JK Rowling. I don't own any of it.
~@~
As Harry was about to close the drawer he heard a very angry voice behind him.
"What the hell are you doing boy?!"
Turning around Harry saw the angry, and almost purple with rage, face of his uncle. Harry gulped. It seemed that things just went from bad to worse for him.
"So, ruining the drawer once with your idiotic pranks isn't good enough is it?" Uncle Vernon roared, spittle flying from his mouth.
Harry took a step backwards and found that he was already pretty much up against the cupboard.
"Wait- wait, you don't understand." Harry said his voice shaking.
"Oh, I don't understand? Now let me get this straight. You ruin the drawer before, and now I catch you here, and having broken the wood out of the cupboard because you forced the drawer open." Vernon Dursley said in a voice dripping with hate and anger.
"But, no, I didn't, the wood. It, the drawer, the lock just came out. The wood was.." Harry stammered not being able to get a proper word out of his mouth or able to string a proper sentence together.
His uncle had however grabbed him by the scruff of his bloodstained shirt and started to lift him off of the ground. After a few seconds the shirt ripped and Harry fell a little to the floor, which his feet had no longer been touching. Harry staggered backwards, bumping into the cupboard behind him with his arm. He felt a searing pain where his wrist struck the cupboard, but he didn't have time to dwell on this as his uncle started to bare down on him once more. Vernon raised his hand and clenched a fist the size of a small football and was about to strike Harry when a stern voice pierced the air.
"VERNON DERSLEY!" came a voice behind him.
Vernon turned around quickly at hearing this voice and then smiled at little.
"Petunia. I, well, to be honest I didn't recognize your voice. You sounded different. I was just going to." Vernon went on but was cut short by his wife.
"Were about to cause a lot of trouble for yourself. What would the people that take care of him think?" Petunia said looking at Vernon menacingly.
"Petunia, sweetums? What's wrong? You don't sound yourself. And, why bring those freaks into this?" Vernon said looking at his wife in surprise.
"Well, maybe because you're about to be taught a lesson!" Petunia said and leapt a her husband.
Vernon was totally caught unawares and was bowled over by a huge kick to his over large gut. Petunia then hit him across his fat face and stood menacingly over him holding what looked like a stick in her hand.
"Petunia? What, what are you doing?" Vernon sputtered his teeth red with blood from where his teeth had cut into his cheeks from the blow from his wife.
His eyes were focused on the stick in her hand and his eyes widened in shock.
"You, you're not Petunia?!" Vernon shrieked and started to try and crawl away.
The woman laughed and suddenly before his eyes it appeared as if the woman, who looked like his wife, began to change form in front of him. Her face became easy on the eyes, her hair short and pink. She was staring back at Vernon Dursley.
"Now, if you ever try to hurt that boy again, somebody less tolerant than me will come to deal with you. When his owl didn't come two days ago we figured something was wrong. You are to treat Harry properly. Or else." Tonks said in a voice dripping with venom and she made a slashing motion across her neck.
Vernon swallowed hard and without realizing it he had his hand on his own neck, or where his neck might have been under his many chins. With those words Tonks disappeared. Vernon sat stunned for a few moments as he tried to take in what had just happened. The coppery taste of blood was evident in his mouth. Harry in the meantime was stunned. He had completely forgotten about the pain in his wrist where he had fallen.
There were others that cared about him! This allowed a little more hope to enter Harry's heart and before pressing his luck he went upstairs as quickly as he could in the state he was in. He couldn't help smiling, something he hadn't done much for a long time.
~@~
Meanwhile Vernon was just heaving himself off of the floor trying to make sense of what had just happened. Somebody had impersonated his wife and had attacked him. He felt his bruised jaw and rubbed it.
"Petunia!" Vernon said realizing that he didn't know where she or his fat son Dudley were.
He rushed outside and saw that his car was still parked where he had left it. Running towards the car he saw that lying on the seats were both his wife and son, both bound and gagged. Quickly opening the door Vernon helped his wife off of her son and undid their bindings.
"Wha- what on earth happened?" Petunia said swaying on her feet.
"Dad, why are your teeth red?" Dudley asked peering at his dads bloodied teeth with his piggy eyes.
"Nothing, dear, are you all right?" Vernon asked Petunia with concern in his voice.
"I, I think so, but I feel really strange, dizzy in fact." Petunia complained and allowed her husband to lead her back into the house.
Dudley followed in silence. After making his wife a quick cup of tea Vernon found himself seething with rage. Not only did his jaw hurt, his cheeks were ripped open, he had been attacked and then threatened in his own home! And there was only one person to blame for it all. To Vernon this was the person he hated even more than the taxman, it was his nephew Harry. Vernon started to go red in the face again as he seethed with anger and nodded as if some sinister plan was coming together in his head.
"Vernon dear? Are you alright?" Petunia said noticing the fuming of her husband.
"Oh yes, or should I say, I will be in a few seconds." Vernon said rubbing his hands together and made his way out of the kitchen.
~@~
Harry sat stunned in his room. Tonks had attacked his uncle and defended him. Harry was sure she wasn't really allowed to have done that, but he was appreciative nonetheless. Suddenly his injured wrist started to hurt again and Harry remembered his fall on his wound. Pulling off his ripped shirt Harry saw that his dressing was becoming slightly reddish in color. It seemed the fall had re-opened his wound. Harry got out another top and put it on himself. It swam around him as it had once belonged to his cousin Dudley. Harry realized that he stank of blood and was hoping he could get a chance to shower, maybe even bath. He walked to his door and sighed imagining himself in a nice warm bath. He was about to go out of his room when the door slammed open hitting him in the face and shattering his glasses. Harry fell back his nose exploding in pain.
He couldn't see much; all was either red or a blur. It felt like his nose had started to run, but he quickly realized that it wasn't mucus. It was blood as he gagged on some of the blood that had begun to run down the back of his throat. He groped for his glasses but his search ended as he was seized to his feet. What on earth was happening he wondered.
"So, you think that you could get me and my family in trouble with your freakish friends by conveniently forgetting to tell them you're alright eh?" His uncle's voice sounded near him.
Harry had indeed forgotten about sending the owl, but then again, how could he have remembered. He had been unconscious for two days without even realizing it, awakening in a pool of his own blood not long ago.
"But- but I, I didn't know it was three days." Harry said and gagged on the blood that kept flowing down his throat from his nose.
"And, I'm not alright." Harry said loudly this time, though he immediately knew this was a mistake.
Harry knew that his uncle must feel safe and that Tonks was away if he was attacking him like this.
"Oh no boy, you're still not bad, but that will change Oh yes it will." The vile voice of his uncle came from in front of him.
Harry felt a blow to his gut and all the wind was knocked out from him. He fell to the ground and gasped for air. But before he could recover another blow hit him in the jaw. Harry was sure it was the knee of his uncle. Pain shot through his head and he thought it felt like one of his teeth had been knocked loose. Harry now feared for his life. He could hardly see and his uncle was, it seemed to Harry, trying to kill him.
Harry tried his best to get up, ignoring the pain, as he had done so many times in the past. But he found himself feeling buoyant as another blow struck him in the face. He could've sworn he heard a crunching noise as the blow struck him and his face felt like it was on fire from all the pain he was going through. He landed non-to-gently and shuddered a little from all the pain that was wracking his frame. Harry felt another blow to his face and his one eye burst into dancing spots. His uncle had just hit him in the eye.
"What's wrong boy? I'm just getting warmed out. That was just for that woman attacking me. I've not even started on you for getting my family bound and gagged or getting me in trouble with those freaks looking out for you!" Vernon spat at Harry.
Harry felt his left eye close shut as the swelling from the blow he had received moments earlier.
"But I didn't.." Harry wanted to say that it wasn't his fault but he never finished the sentence as yet another blow struck him in the head.
Harry saw stars jumping in front of his eyes and heard his uncle saying something. Yet it seemed as if it were in a foreign language because Harry couldn't make out what he was saying. His uncle's voice grew farther and farther away while his sight dimmed and then he blacked out totally.
~@~
Vernon Dursley stood over the battered body of his nephew. His sick mind had enjoyed the beating he delivered and he was angry with Harry for passing out so soon. He looked at Harry. Harry had blood flowing freely from his nose, his left eye had swollen shut and blood was dribbling slightly from his half open mouth.
Not far away from Harry lay his shattered spectacles. They looked just like Harry was. Beaten and broken. Vernon left and decided that Harry would pay for passing out. Harry's beating was far from over, he still hadn't paid for having his family bound and gagged. A smile was on Vernon's face as he left the room of his broken nephew.
~@~
Harry woke up hours later. His tongue was swollen and his entire head ached with pain. He tried to open his eyes, but only his right eye opened, and he could only make out blurs. He painfully groped around for his glasses and started coughing from all of the blood that had dribbled down his throat for hours. The stench of blood permeated all around the room and Harry was nauseated by the smell. He finally found his glasses and put them on. The right part was only cracked down the middle and he could at least see, sort of. Harry sighed and even this simple thing caused him pain.
There was just no-where out of his current situation. Harry knew now that his pain was not going to end. He couldn't get to his wand. Not in his current health condition. He knew his uncle to well. The beatings weren't going to stop soon. Again he felt himself yearning for a way out of all of his pain. Then, just as he earlier did, he had a flash of silver in his mind. There was a way out. Whether or not he could go through with it, only he could guess.
Looking out of the window Harry saw that a full moon was out and he was bathed in it's delicate light. He wondered what time it was. It didn't matter really. If the moon was so high up it must've been either late night or early morning. All of the Dursley's would be asleep. Now was his chance to get the object that could free him from his misery.
Harry slowly made his way out of his room and painfully down the stairs. He made sure he skipped the stair that creaked and went into the kitchen. Some of the moons light shone through the kitchens windows and it seemed to Harry that the light fell on the drawer containing his savior. Harry made his way to the drawer and opened it without problem. The lock went easily along with the piece of wood still connected to it. Harry held up the steak knife and saw it glint in the moonlight.
Gripping the handle tightly Harry closed the drawer and slowly and carefully made his way up to his room. Again he avoided the creaking stair and was soon in the safety of his room. Harry went to sit down where he had awoken, in the moonlight. He knew what he was going to do, he had the courage to do it this time. He couldn't take any more pain, whether it was mental or physical.
He lowered the knife and remembered the letters he had received from Ron and Hermione. He went to the loose board and lifted it, gathering the letters. He placed them in front of him and sat staring at them.
'Please look after yourself.'
Those words from Hermione's letter seemed to echo in Harry's head. Harry felt tears building up in his eyes, even the swollen one. What should he do? He didn't know if he could live this life of torment any longer. Yet, he felt selfish by doing this, he knew his friends cared for him. Harry lifted the knife and slashed down. Blood spurted from the newly opened wound. The blade rose again, dripping with blood and fell once more. Drops of blood fell on his letters. The blade rose a third time and fell again. Tears were falling freely down Harry's cheeks.
"So much pain." He muttered triggering more pain from his jaw.
The blade rose again and it stopped halfway down. Harry's mouth was open in agony. He opened his one good eye and looked down at his letters. He looked at the blood on the letters and opened his mouth in a silent wail again. The pain was so much. But no, he wasn't going to take the cowards way out he decided. He wasn't going to put his friends through the misery of his death.
His fingers relaxed and the knife fell down to the floor. Harry looked at his arm and the blood covered knife and shuddered as the tears still fell down from his eyes. He was in so much pain, but he was resolute. He was going to get through this, alive. He closed his mouth and blinked a few times with his good eye. A single tear fell on his letters.
It was almost as this sealed Harry's new resolve. He was going to get through this. He wasn't going to let Sirius' sacrifice be for nothing. He put his letters away and tried his best to close his wound. After some time he walked back to his bed and shuddered looking at all of the blood around the room. But he felt oddly calm, even though his body ached with pain. As he lay on his bed he had a fleeting image of Sirius smiling at him before he fell asleep.
~@~
Well, there you go all! I finished another chapter! I didn't expect to do this, but it just kind of happened. I couldn't log onto the internet and decided to write until I logged on. Seems my PC hates me because it wouldn't log on, so I just kept on writing. So here you have it, the third chapter in my first angst fanfiction. I hope any who read this enjoy it. I tried to make it live up to the two preceding chapters. A lot of feeling went into this chapter, but I won't say any more! As always, I humbly ask for any who read this to review, a few seconds of your time will make my day. I'll smile and want to write even more!
Cheers Lost in a World of Pain
Amanda (crazy bitch): I'll try to keep the writing of a high standard, I'm thrilled you like my writing. As for what Harry will do, I've had some personal experience that will aid in this chapters writing. As for whether or not the hope will be enough, we'll just have to wait to see.
Wink At J00 (steph): I'm so glad you like my work. I'll keep it up so that you can enjoy it. I'm glad you're enjoying the story as much as you are enjoying it. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.
KamirineGoddess (kami): Well, you wanted to see action happening in this chapter, and I was inspired to let it happen. I hope you like it!
princess55: Well, if you thought the last update was fast, this one, well, I just kinda went super speed with it! You think I'm a good writer? Lol. Thanks for the kind words!
Dxdevlin: I'm sorry you think it's depressing. Though, I hope you enjoyed it. It's very raw I guess.
Usagibuffy: Well, the fic is starting to gain some momentum now, I hope I didn't disappoint you. Thanks for reviewing!
John: You wanted an update ASAP, well, was this quick enough for you? Lol.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. are all trademarks of Warner Bros. and JK Rowling. I don't own any of it.
~@~
As Harry was about to close the drawer he heard a very angry voice behind him.
"What the hell are you doing boy?!"
Turning around Harry saw the angry, and almost purple with rage, face of his uncle. Harry gulped. It seemed that things just went from bad to worse for him.
"So, ruining the drawer once with your idiotic pranks isn't good enough is it?" Uncle Vernon roared, spittle flying from his mouth.
Harry took a step backwards and found that he was already pretty much up against the cupboard.
"Wait- wait, you don't understand." Harry said his voice shaking.
"Oh, I don't understand? Now let me get this straight. You ruin the drawer before, and now I catch you here, and having broken the wood out of the cupboard because you forced the drawer open." Vernon Dursley said in a voice dripping with hate and anger.
"But, no, I didn't, the wood. It, the drawer, the lock just came out. The wood was.." Harry stammered not being able to get a proper word out of his mouth or able to string a proper sentence together.
His uncle had however grabbed him by the scruff of his bloodstained shirt and started to lift him off of the ground. After a few seconds the shirt ripped and Harry fell a little to the floor, which his feet had no longer been touching. Harry staggered backwards, bumping into the cupboard behind him with his arm. He felt a searing pain where his wrist struck the cupboard, but he didn't have time to dwell on this as his uncle started to bare down on him once more. Vernon raised his hand and clenched a fist the size of a small football and was about to strike Harry when a stern voice pierced the air.
"VERNON DERSLEY!" came a voice behind him.
Vernon turned around quickly at hearing this voice and then smiled at little.
"Petunia. I, well, to be honest I didn't recognize your voice. You sounded different. I was just going to." Vernon went on but was cut short by his wife.
"Were about to cause a lot of trouble for yourself. What would the people that take care of him think?" Petunia said looking at Vernon menacingly.
"Petunia, sweetums? What's wrong? You don't sound yourself. And, why bring those freaks into this?" Vernon said looking at his wife in surprise.
"Well, maybe because you're about to be taught a lesson!" Petunia said and leapt a her husband.
Vernon was totally caught unawares and was bowled over by a huge kick to his over large gut. Petunia then hit him across his fat face and stood menacingly over him holding what looked like a stick in her hand.
"Petunia? What, what are you doing?" Vernon sputtered his teeth red with blood from where his teeth had cut into his cheeks from the blow from his wife.
His eyes were focused on the stick in her hand and his eyes widened in shock.
"You, you're not Petunia?!" Vernon shrieked and started to try and crawl away.
The woman laughed and suddenly before his eyes it appeared as if the woman, who looked like his wife, began to change form in front of him. Her face became easy on the eyes, her hair short and pink. She was staring back at Vernon Dursley.
"Now, if you ever try to hurt that boy again, somebody less tolerant than me will come to deal with you. When his owl didn't come two days ago we figured something was wrong. You are to treat Harry properly. Or else." Tonks said in a voice dripping with venom and she made a slashing motion across her neck.
Vernon swallowed hard and without realizing it he had his hand on his own neck, or where his neck might have been under his many chins. With those words Tonks disappeared. Vernon sat stunned for a few moments as he tried to take in what had just happened. The coppery taste of blood was evident in his mouth. Harry in the meantime was stunned. He had completely forgotten about the pain in his wrist where he had fallen.
There were others that cared about him! This allowed a little more hope to enter Harry's heart and before pressing his luck he went upstairs as quickly as he could in the state he was in. He couldn't help smiling, something he hadn't done much for a long time.
~@~
Meanwhile Vernon was just heaving himself off of the floor trying to make sense of what had just happened. Somebody had impersonated his wife and had attacked him. He felt his bruised jaw and rubbed it.
"Petunia!" Vernon said realizing that he didn't know where she or his fat son Dudley were.
He rushed outside and saw that his car was still parked where he had left it. Running towards the car he saw that lying on the seats were both his wife and son, both bound and gagged. Quickly opening the door Vernon helped his wife off of her son and undid their bindings.
"Wha- what on earth happened?" Petunia said swaying on her feet.
"Dad, why are your teeth red?" Dudley asked peering at his dads bloodied teeth with his piggy eyes.
"Nothing, dear, are you all right?" Vernon asked Petunia with concern in his voice.
"I, I think so, but I feel really strange, dizzy in fact." Petunia complained and allowed her husband to lead her back into the house.
Dudley followed in silence. After making his wife a quick cup of tea Vernon found himself seething with rage. Not only did his jaw hurt, his cheeks were ripped open, he had been attacked and then threatened in his own home! And there was only one person to blame for it all. To Vernon this was the person he hated even more than the taxman, it was his nephew Harry. Vernon started to go red in the face again as he seethed with anger and nodded as if some sinister plan was coming together in his head.
"Vernon dear? Are you alright?" Petunia said noticing the fuming of her husband.
"Oh yes, or should I say, I will be in a few seconds." Vernon said rubbing his hands together and made his way out of the kitchen.
~@~
Harry sat stunned in his room. Tonks had attacked his uncle and defended him. Harry was sure she wasn't really allowed to have done that, but he was appreciative nonetheless. Suddenly his injured wrist started to hurt again and Harry remembered his fall on his wound. Pulling off his ripped shirt Harry saw that his dressing was becoming slightly reddish in color. It seemed the fall had re-opened his wound. Harry got out another top and put it on himself. It swam around him as it had once belonged to his cousin Dudley. Harry realized that he stank of blood and was hoping he could get a chance to shower, maybe even bath. He walked to his door and sighed imagining himself in a nice warm bath. He was about to go out of his room when the door slammed open hitting him in the face and shattering his glasses. Harry fell back his nose exploding in pain.
He couldn't see much; all was either red or a blur. It felt like his nose had started to run, but he quickly realized that it wasn't mucus. It was blood as he gagged on some of the blood that had begun to run down the back of his throat. He groped for his glasses but his search ended as he was seized to his feet. What on earth was happening he wondered.
"So, you think that you could get me and my family in trouble with your freakish friends by conveniently forgetting to tell them you're alright eh?" His uncle's voice sounded near him.
Harry had indeed forgotten about sending the owl, but then again, how could he have remembered. He had been unconscious for two days without even realizing it, awakening in a pool of his own blood not long ago.
"But- but I, I didn't know it was three days." Harry said and gagged on the blood that kept flowing down his throat from his nose.
"And, I'm not alright." Harry said loudly this time, though he immediately knew this was a mistake.
Harry knew that his uncle must feel safe and that Tonks was away if he was attacking him like this.
"Oh no boy, you're still not bad, but that will change Oh yes it will." The vile voice of his uncle came from in front of him.
Harry felt a blow to his gut and all the wind was knocked out from him. He fell to the ground and gasped for air. But before he could recover another blow hit him in the jaw. Harry was sure it was the knee of his uncle. Pain shot through his head and he thought it felt like one of his teeth had been knocked loose. Harry now feared for his life. He could hardly see and his uncle was, it seemed to Harry, trying to kill him.
Harry tried his best to get up, ignoring the pain, as he had done so many times in the past. But he found himself feeling buoyant as another blow struck him in the face. He could've sworn he heard a crunching noise as the blow struck him and his face felt like it was on fire from all the pain he was going through. He landed non-to-gently and shuddered a little from all the pain that was wracking his frame. Harry felt another blow to his face and his one eye burst into dancing spots. His uncle had just hit him in the eye.
"What's wrong boy? I'm just getting warmed out. That was just for that woman attacking me. I've not even started on you for getting my family bound and gagged or getting me in trouble with those freaks looking out for you!" Vernon spat at Harry.
Harry felt his left eye close shut as the swelling from the blow he had received moments earlier.
"But I didn't.." Harry wanted to say that it wasn't his fault but he never finished the sentence as yet another blow struck him in the head.
Harry saw stars jumping in front of his eyes and heard his uncle saying something. Yet it seemed as if it were in a foreign language because Harry couldn't make out what he was saying. His uncle's voice grew farther and farther away while his sight dimmed and then he blacked out totally.
~@~
Vernon Dursley stood over the battered body of his nephew. His sick mind had enjoyed the beating he delivered and he was angry with Harry for passing out so soon. He looked at Harry. Harry had blood flowing freely from his nose, his left eye had swollen shut and blood was dribbling slightly from his half open mouth.
Not far away from Harry lay his shattered spectacles. They looked just like Harry was. Beaten and broken. Vernon left and decided that Harry would pay for passing out. Harry's beating was far from over, he still hadn't paid for having his family bound and gagged. A smile was on Vernon's face as he left the room of his broken nephew.
~@~
Harry woke up hours later. His tongue was swollen and his entire head ached with pain. He tried to open his eyes, but only his right eye opened, and he could only make out blurs. He painfully groped around for his glasses and started coughing from all of the blood that had dribbled down his throat for hours. The stench of blood permeated all around the room and Harry was nauseated by the smell. He finally found his glasses and put them on. The right part was only cracked down the middle and he could at least see, sort of. Harry sighed and even this simple thing caused him pain.
There was just no-where out of his current situation. Harry knew now that his pain was not going to end. He couldn't get to his wand. Not in his current health condition. He knew his uncle to well. The beatings weren't going to stop soon. Again he felt himself yearning for a way out of all of his pain. Then, just as he earlier did, he had a flash of silver in his mind. There was a way out. Whether or not he could go through with it, only he could guess.
Looking out of the window Harry saw that a full moon was out and he was bathed in it's delicate light. He wondered what time it was. It didn't matter really. If the moon was so high up it must've been either late night or early morning. All of the Dursley's would be asleep. Now was his chance to get the object that could free him from his misery.
Harry slowly made his way out of his room and painfully down the stairs. He made sure he skipped the stair that creaked and went into the kitchen. Some of the moons light shone through the kitchens windows and it seemed to Harry that the light fell on the drawer containing his savior. Harry made his way to the drawer and opened it without problem. The lock went easily along with the piece of wood still connected to it. Harry held up the steak knife and saw it glint in the moonlight.
Gripping the handle tightly Harry closed the drawer and slowly and carefully made his way up to his room. Again he avoided the creaking stair and was soon in the safety of his room. Harry went to sit down where he had awoken, in the moonlight. He knew what he was going to do, he had the courage to do it this time. He couldn't take any more pain, whether it was mental or physical.
He lowered the knife and remembered the letters he had received from Ron and Hermione. He went to the loose board and lifted it, gathering the letters. He placed them in front of him and sat staring at them.
'Please look after yourself.'
Those words from Hermione's letter seemed to echo in Harry's head. Harry felt tears building up in his eyes, even the swollen one. What should he do? He didn't know if he could live this life of torment any longer. Yet, he felt selfish by doing this, he knew his friends cared for him. Harry lifted the knife and slashed down. Blood spurted from the newly opened wound. The blade rose again, dripping with blood and fell once more. Drops of blood fell on his letters. The blade rose a third time and fell again. Tears were falling freely down Harry's cheeks.
"So much pain." He muttered triggering more pain from his jaw.
The blade rose again and it stopped halfway down. Harry's mouth was open in agony. He opened his one good eye and looked down at his letters. He looked at the blood on the letters and opened his mouth in a silent wail again. The pain was so much. But no, he wasn't going to take the cowards way out he decided. He wasn't going to put his friends through the misery of his death.
His fingers relaxed and the knife fell down to the floor. Harry looked at his arm and the blood covered knife and shuddered as the tears still fell down from his eyes. He was in so much pain, but he was resolute. He was going to get through this, alive. He closed his mouth and blinked a few times with his good eye. A single tear fell on his letters.
It was almost as this sealed Harry's new resolve. He was going to get through this. He wasn't going to let Sirius' sacrifice be for nothing. He put his letters away and tried his best to close his wound. After some time he walked back to his bed and shuddered looking at all of the blood around the room. But he felt oddly calm, even though his body ached with pain. As he lay on his bed he had a fleeting image of Sirius smiling at him before he fell asleep.
~@~
Well, there you go all! I finished another chapter! I didn't expect to do this, but it just kind of happened. I couldn't log onto the internet and decided to write until I logged on. Seems my PC hates me because it wouldn't log on, so I just kept on writing. So here you have it, the third chapter in my first angst fanfiction. I hope any who read this enjoy it. I tried to make it live up to the two preceding chapters. A lot of feeling went into this chapter, but I won't say any more! As always, I humbly ask for any who read this to review, a few seconds of your time will make my day. I'll smile and want to write even more!
Cheers Lost in a World of Pain