Don't shoot, my dad's a lawyer. I DID update!

… PS, if you don't PM me back, I'll do whatever I want with your character (*cough purple eyes and bald spot cough*).

Disclaimer: I know I've forgotten about these, so here is the first! Okay, if I did own it, I would be working on TDA, now wouldn't I?

Episode two- Gettin' to know ya

Chris, smiling as blindingly as ever, is standing on the hallowed dock of shame.

"Hello, viewers at home! In our last installment, we saw the campers arrive! Drama. Confusion. Blunt objects. All this and more, but this episode will be even more action-packed and thrilling- so stay tuned! For: Total. DRAMA. ISLAND!"

Theme song:

Dear mom and dad,

(Dawn and Sapphire talking happily on the steps of the cabin)

I'm doing fine.

(Pans past Milo and Bren swordfighting)

You guys, are on my mind!

(We see their enthralled audience, Charlie, Kailey, Abby and Wyatt)

Asked me what I wanted to be,

(Steven and TJ rock out to Jack's guitar music)

Now I think the answer is plain to see!

(Breanna making Autumn pose for a photograph)

I wanna be, FAMOUS!

(Benny and Nick grafitii the mess hall walls)

Nanananananananananananananananananaaaaaa!

(Suddenly we pan through the woods and into the arts and crap center, where Lauren and Speedy are fixing Chef's bike)

Nanananananananananananananananananaaaaaa!

(behind the building Phoebe and Nikki are stealing sticky buns, only to run into chef and freak out)

I wanna be, I wanna be

(The girls scream and run- pastries fly)

I wanna be famous!

(we follow a sticky bun to the sky, which turns into the night sky- we pan down)

I wanna be, I wanna be,

(The campers are sitting at the campfire, glaring at a smug Chris)

I wanna be famous!

Whistles.

After the longer-than-it-sounds theme song, we see the mess hall. There the campers are 'eating' their 'breakfast'.

Charlie and Jack have been brave (Nick called it 'stupid') and gotten… 'meatloaf surprise'. At this moment their dishes are contemplating world domination.

"Good morning, campers!" Chris cheerily hollers as he skips in the doors.

Autumn manages to answer through her glued-shut mouth- she got 'mystery stew', "Wath tho goot aboot it?"

Breanna, having decided to skip breakfast, translates: "yeah… What IS so good? The only good thing I see here is your pathetically photogenic hair."

A murmur of, albeit confused, agreement passes through the other campers.

"I'll take that 'insult' as a compliment," answers Chris- completely ignoring the rest of her sentence. "Come to the campfire in ten!"

Phoebe cam:

She glares at the campfire, her purple ponytail swinging. "Uh- vague much? What the heck are we gonna DO? At least it isn't the cliff though- unless… nah." She rolls her eyes and glares again.

End Phoebe cam.

"ten WHAT? Seconds? Oh no! we'd have to be there… wait for it… now!" Charlie is vaguely hyperventilating. The dark haired boy sitting next to her, Milo, takes it upon himself to explain that 'ten' usually translates as 'ten minutes'. "Ohhhh…"

…………

"Today you will find out your teams!" Exclaims Chris happily.

"Hey," Autumn interrupts. "Where's your cohost?"

"Hood question! Here she is!"
Gwen grumpily steps out of the forest, to wild applause. She gives them a look and they abruptly stop clapping.

"Hey." She mutters, blatantly unenthusiastic.

"Shush! And get out of my stoplight!" Chris scowls, but it quickly transforms into a grin. "As I said, today you will find out your teams! If I call your name, stand over there," He adds, indicating a stump three or four feet to their right.

"Cho, Dawn, Phoebe, Autumn, Jack, Mikey, Russell and Steven! You will be known as: The Regal Chipmunks!"

Chris tosses their banner to them, and Russell (to tacky fanfair music) unrolls it. It shows a large orange chipmunk 'majestically' saluting, against a royal blue background. Steven gags theatrically.

"Charlie, Wyatt, Milo, Sapphire, Lauren, Kailey, Speedmeister, Benny, Bren, Abby and TJ! I dub thee- the Majestic Moose!

It is Wyatt who catches it, and proceeds (to the same annoying music) to unroll it. Their emblem is of a humongous purple moose, standing on his hind legs, against a yellow background.

"Now off to your cabins!" Chris yells as the Moose grumble over their logo. "hehe! Get to know eachother!"

………….

The Regal Chipmunks are unpacking in their cabin. A red-headed girl is sitting on the corner of her large trunk, crying and blowing her nose. Breanna uncertainly walks over.

"Hey… Are you okay?" She asks, stowing her camera bag under her bunk.

Dawn nods and gives a terrific sneeze into her hankie. "It'th jutht that- Well, Thappire- Sapphire- and I have always been together! Since we were seven years old…"

Breanna cam:

Breanna has a nostalgic look on her face. "That is so cute! And Sapphire was brave to stand up to the bully like that."

End Breanna cam.

"And that's what happened," Dawn concludes with a final sniff. Breanna's reply is to put her arm around the other girl's shoulders.

…………..

Meanwhile at the Majestic Moose cabin, things are quite chaotic. Milo has decided that Bren and he need a rematch, Lauren and Speedy are arguing over engine sizes as Charlie listens (utterly bewildered), TJ, Wyatt and Kailey joke around with nonplussed Benny and Sapphire, and Abby just watches transfixed. Soon TJ pulls her into a conga line, performed to Kaily's rendition of 'La Cuca Racha'.

"Oh my god…" Benny scowls.