Authoress Update: I GOT A NEW COMPUTER!
Of course, this doesn't mean much to u the reader, as I can finally play Sims2. So this prolly won't update any faster! I'm still a little confused by the new layout-like this Microsoft Word program. Seems like whenever I get comfy using one system, they mix it up till it's nearly unrecognizable.
Have u noticed that LU was moved up an hour? I'm not sure what that signifies. I know that putting a weaker show after a strong one(like say, 'Reba' following 'Friends') helps it gain an audience, but I'm not sure if that applies to kids shows. Maybe that's why 'Coconut Fred' takes over the 10:30 time slot. I hope it stays up longer than it takes me to write this fic! Lol!
And in other news, I'm pleasantly surprised by the positive response I'm getting here. Thanks a lot, and I mean it. I hope I've given some credible motivations for our stars. I wonder if u recognize any of the extras that appeared thus far(all 2 of them!). I hope to be able to place more, for fun. See if u can see.
Wile E. Coyote: "Of course, it shouldn't take a Genius to understand, but I am compelled to remind you all Standard Disclaimers apply. Now, Being the Genius that I am, I feel obligated to expound to your poor sots just what that exactly means-"
Rev Runner: "BEEP BEEP!"
insert standard 'missle drop' and 'splat' sounds here
Road Runner: "Beep Beep!" "Nice job!"
Rev: "Hey, thanks!"
Road: "Beep Beep." "For a hack, anyway."
Rev: "That's-not-very-nice! I-mean-really-what-kind-of-compliment-is-that-I-mean-what-a-gyp-"
insert standard 'missle drop' and 'splat' sounds here
Road: "Beep beep." "There can be only one."
Neffie: "…"
The Future Is Wild!
By Nefertanya dragongurl Ahhotep
Chapter 3: CrowningOuter space is a most peaceful place. After all, in space, no one can hear you scream-no air means no sounds to hear. Nothing but stillness and emptiness surrounds our noisy little home sweet home, like a invisible security blanket.
But this is all an illusion. We're not alone-we were never alone. The universe at large reminds us of this fact every so often, sending the occasional ambassador to rendezvous. These visits often lead to dramatic results-sadly, they're not exactly positive in the short term.
And so it came to pass that the random forces that shape destiny and fate sent forth another heavenly reminder. Slightly larger than the state of Alaska, a craggy lump of rock slowly rotated over itself like a tumbling trained bear. Surrounding it, like a fleet of honor guard, was a variety of smaller jagged rocks. They tumbled, rolled, spun, and crashed into each other much like a troupe of acrobats.
The massive stone was moving incredibly fast, and amazingly, nothing was in its way as it trekked towards its destination. Around it, the little rocks weren't quite as lucky. Many got pulled into the gravities of passing stars, planets, and whatnot. The ambassador galloped past the jovian planets, the asteroid belt, and the orbital path of Mars. As it grew warmer from the increased solar radiation, it began to change. Space dust flew away as the ice that held it melted away. Its leading surface began to glow, then eventually the entire rock was bathed in soft light.
Before reaching the little mudball now known as Acmetropolis, a small miracle occurred. Perhaps the moon was protecting the mother that spawned her millennia ago. Perhaps it was merely jealously guarding its position as the only natural satellite. Maybe it was just dumb luck. Either way, as the monstrous caller from the depths of the universe entered the edge of Acmetropolis' gravitational pull, the moon was just in the right position to alter its course. Now, instead of crashing directly into the middle of the planet, it would simply skim across her upper atmospheres. About this time, in Acmetropolis' self-named capitol, in a semi-secret space military defense base, one young soldier stared horrified at his screen.
"Commander! Commander, sir! We have a..a..situation here, sir!"
The commander, a blue-haired, busty old woman in pince-nez and a bustled army green colored skirt that reached the floor, tottered up to the panicky underling. "What? What's this now, sonny?"
"Sir! On the screen! It's huge! Massive! Just saw it-! Oh God!"
"Pull yourself together, soldier! I didn't get this old to baby-sit fools! Now speak up! Speak up!"
The young man pulled in a shaky breath that made the hairs on his chin tremble. "Okay, it's like this, see? I was just staring at the radar, minding my own business, when like, this huge scary blip appeared on the screen! Oh ho, the horror, man!"
The commander grimaced at him. He was fresh out of the academy, and had not been one of its brightest stars. She suspected that much of his brain was lost to the pungent herbal trips favored among today's youth-it at least accounted for his constant attraction to food. With a tired sigh, she peered over her frames to the screen.
"Oh My Word!"
Without a second to lose, she called out for an immediate emergency conference with the Acmetropolis Planetary Congress1. Then she commanded that every available resource begin monitoring the large blip's progress
"What is the problem, Commander?"
"I'm afraid it's a most dire situation. A large object is on a collision course with our world!"
There was a frantic rise in the murmuring of the senators on the view screen. At length, they returned their focus back to her.
"What is the object? A starship?"
"No," she replied as a teleboard was handed to her, "It's an asteroid, or a large comet. Roughly the…size of Alaska!"
"Can it be destroyed? A nuclear missile, perhaps?"
"I'm afraid not, senator. It's much too fast and much too close. Even if we could arm and fire off one in time, the radiation fallout would be almost as destructive as the leftover bits landing."
"What! How can we possibly be caught so unaware? What about the Deep Space Net program2?"
"Two words, gentlemen. Budget. Cuts."
Snarls and groans rolled over the congress at her accusatory tone. Before any new questions could arise, a feminine voice came over the PA system.
"Commander, we have established a trajectory."
"Where will it go?" The House speaker asked nervously.
"It appears, by our calculations, that it will pass a few miles above the United States of America3. We are still unsure if it will land, pass on, or explode."
"How soon?"
"Like, soon, man! Ninety minutes, tops!"
Everyone turned to stare in disbelief at the lanky recruit. Not so much at the given time frame, but that he was actually working at his terminal instead of cowering under it.
"What?" he asked n confusion.
"Never mind," The Speaker waved him off. "Commander, is there any hope of even a partial evacuation?"
"I'm afraid not, sir. By the time an evac notice took effect, the populace would be into an all-out panic. They'll clog up all the highways, which will be detrimental to emergency and rescue crews(should we survive). There will be mass riots, murders, and mayhem. No, gentlemen of Congress, I believe nothing good will be accomplished by telling what we know."
An elderly woman with sharp, chiseled features stood up. "We are to just let them die? Think of the legal nightmares this will bring from the property damage alone!"
"You are assuming that we will survive at all!" an rotund man chastised her from across the room. Raised voices echoed from every corner of the Hall.
"ENOUGH!" The House Speaker finally cried. "Everyone, do what you must. Call your loved ones-hold them, if possible. Speak what may be your last words; reflect on what may be your last deeds. For only God above knows if we will last the night."
Chapter 3: Into the Light, Last Leg of the JourneyIt is the year 2772. Something cataclysmic is heading towards the tiny planet of Acmetropolis. And there is nothing anyone can do to stop it…
In Borasilica, Rev Runner dejectedly walked down the granite steps of the city-town's largest library. His rocket blades were slung over one shoulder, caked so badly with dried concrete they'd never work again. Cookie would be furious he'd never returned. He'd been lost in thought for two whole hours, trying to find meaning in his meaningless world. Only in the city could he brag that he was the fastest-saying such a thing back home would simply make him more of a loser than he already was4.
But living in the city meant doing things the city way, and that meant earning your keep and paying your own way. So Rev had come to the conclusion he'd simply have to beg for his job back (no doubt at a reduced wage, since Cookie paid him under the table.). As he turned towards the Qwik Wrap, it dawned on him that it was really rather very much brighter than it should be at 7 pm….
--o0o--
Tech whimpered slightly as he pulled another tiny shard of plexi-vinyl out of his muzzle before staring at his reflection in a side mirror of a parked hover car. Oh, he wasn't too upset that there'd been an explosion-it wasn't the first time something he'd sweated blood for had blown up in his face.
No, he was upset because with the loss of his scholarship came the loss of any prospect of any internship in any major corporation. Then there was the problem of his mother. He swore that if she could turn time around, she'd fix it so that she'd never even seen the desert. All his life, she'd pushed him towards the glittering cities that edged the desert like a spiky crown on a sandy head.
"The cities are where your future's at, my darling." She'd coo every night as she gazed at them from any window in their modest house. "There are all the opportunities, all the places where your young mind can flower and bloom-and never wilt under oppressive traditions and penned-in imaginations."
Tech had always been mildly surprised that he'd even been entered, let alone completed, the Desert Education Plan5. He supposed even his mother wanted to 'fit in'. Well, maybe he could get a job as one of the science teachers. Oh yeah. Just wait till she heard that one!
" Poor thing. " Tech thought sympathetically. " She'll have a coronary. "
Tech was two thirds of the way back to his dorm room, when the sounds of terrified screams caused him to look skyward…
--o0o--
Slam was unfortunate enough to be the only one undistracted and facing the outside world in the entire wrestling arena. Confused and terrified, his relatively simple brain could not quite wrap itself around the nature of the fireball in front and above him. But he knew enough to know he was looking at trouble. Deep trouble.
"#$ Bleah-Blu-Blu-Bleah#$!" Slam's garbled speech could be interpreted roughly to "Get The Heck Outta Here!" Too bad no one heard him. Not that they would've understood him, anyway.
The roar was like several large trains rushing closer and closer. Being thirty stories high, the dome had a full view of the comet's white-hot aura as it passed over it. It seemed close enough to touch. For a moment, as Slam watched its awesome display, time seemed to be as still and as quiet as a moment between the stars. Then everything began to explode…
--o0o--
Ace leaned back with a sigh against the old concrete wall that kept most of the bad weather out of his meager one room apartment. Staring across the city from his little part of the firescape after a trying day had always been soothing to him, but today was proving to be an exception. He'd schmoozed his agent to get her to schmooze the casting directors so he could get in as a stuntman. He really believed that this time, he was going to get a lucky break. More than anything, Ace Bunny wanted to be seen as a hero. But the closer he got, the farther it seemed to slip away. It was all like a bad dream…
"What da heck is dat!" he asked as a sound louder than anything he'd ever hear seemed to come from the other side of the building. His answer didn't want to keep him waiting…
--o0o--
Lexi growled to herself as she landed on the floor only two inches further from the fold-out table than the last time. After a good cry-fest, she'd re-applied her lipstick, straightened her skirt, and retied the green ribbon a little tighter on her ears.
Even though tryouts were now just a memory, She'd gone back to the gym determined to see what she could improve. Lexi had good hearing-even by rabbit standards-and she'd heard the complimentary things the red head and the man had said. But she was insecure enough in herself to think that maybe her over-zealous back-flip had cost her Catherine's coveted approval. So she reviewed her routine over and over again for two hours, but she just couldn't seem to control the power in her legs.
Exhausted, she collapsed to the floor. This wasn't getting her anywhere. She'd hoped that by being the first anthro on the squad, she could build up confidence and skill. Lexi'd always wanted to be an Olympic gymnast, but her father was too frugal to spend the money, and her mother was terrified she'd get herself killed after the two of them had the misfortune of seeing Agatha Guustov's infamous floor routine6 live. So she practiced in secret by ducking in and out of training rooms after the paying students left. Highly energetic, she loved to leap and bound across the floor, pretending all the while there was a crowd roaring and throwing flowers at her feet.
Lexi got back up with the intention of reviewing yet again, but there seemed to be a commotion outside. She put the pompoms down and walked over to the outside doors. People everywhere were screaming, crying, praying. She pushed the door open fully and managed to snag a yellow canary as he flew past.
"Let Go! Let Go!" he cried.
"What's going on?" She asked him, stuggling to hold him long enough for an answer.
"Da end of da woild! Run!" With a mighty effort, he pulled free of her grip and beelined across the campus. Just then she heard the great noise, saw a blinding light. But worst of all was the sudden vertigo that washed over her…
--o0o--
Los Frisco: A vacationer's paradise. Beauty and Serenity abound. But not tonight.
Tonight panic was in every heart, terror in every soul. As luck would have it, a convention of high-ranking government officals was holding a 'conference' in the center of the metropolis. Really it was nothing more than a taxpayer-funded retreat. When the warning call from the capitol arrived, every last one of them poured out of the high priced luxury suites and demanded limo rides to the airport for first class rides out of America. The sudden shift was like a skier going down an unstable slope. The hotel staff, while not knowing what the danger was, realized first that something massive was heading this way fast, so they ran to the airports and train stations demanding a way out. Faster and faster the avalanche came down, growing wider and wider till it was unstoppable.
"Sheesh, can't a guy make an honest living without all this noise?" Duck yelled as he popped up from the empty pool drain, just in time to see his life flash before his eyes.
--o0o--
1. Acmetropolis Planetary Congress: The governing body of the new planet. The laws are made here via democratic processes. There really is no president or king. A bill is introduced via a representative(who can be anyone at all with enough support), voted on, sent to the Acmetropolis High Supreme Court, the highest court there is, then if passed, ratified by the House Speaker.
2. Deep Space Net: Taking a page from Reagan's 'Star Wars' defense system, the government allocated the funding for the creation of a sophisticated satellite system to detect the oncoming prescence of large space objects with potential for destruction. The system wasn't very popular with the taxpayers, who saw it as frivolous. And after the tragedy, it was seen as utterly uselss despite its creators insistence it would've worked if properly funded beforehand.
3. Continent names have not changed. Imagine the chaos in the post office if everyone simply had 'Acmetropolis, Acmetropolis' on their envelopes? No, Australia is still Australia, Africa is still Africa, and the USA is still home to this writer.
4. In the years after the Road Runner, his tales began the stuff of legend. He eventually acquired something of a godly status. To say you are faster than him is the roadrunner equivalent of saying you're greater than Jesus Christ-it just isn't done. Like Jesus, Road is widely viewed as having never taken a mate nor siring offspring, despite there being strong proof to the contrary. This logic even confuses coyotes, who share 95 of the same belief system.
5. Desert Education Plan: A school system for coyotes. Ever see 'Big Fat Greek Wedding'? Remember how she went to 'Greek school'? Well, coyotes have the same thing. In order to preserve tradition and knowledge, young pups are taught everything from folklore, traditional medicine, traditional art-and everything possible about roadrunners.
6. Agatha Guustov: Called the 'Swan of Switzerland', she was a leading finalist in the 2766 summer Olympics gymnastics. However, during an extraordinary floor dance routine, she miscalculated a triple-standing backflip and landed on her head with enough pressure to crack her vertebra. When her body hit the mattress, bone fragments pierced her sinal cord and she died nearly instantly..