A long time coming crossover between the HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER universe and and the FRIENDS universe. I own absolutely none of the characters in this story... yet. Anyway this is set in the late series of friends and season 5 of HIMYM and the laws are pretty flexible so nothing to textbook.
Anyways I hope you enjoy so please READ and REVIEW.
Friday night
Maclarens Pub
Barney stood in Maclarens pub leaning against the bar drinking scotch as Ted approached him drinking coffee. Barney looked confused and said "Ted Mosby, are you running flat? Who drinks coffee at 9pm"?
Ted replied "Aaaah just having a bit of a hectic day that's all. Gunter says hello by the way". Barney replied "Good to know" but paid little attention while fixing his attention ahead of him.
Ted was confused by Barneys odd behavior and tried to look the same way but couldn't find any drunk sexy women that normally catch Barneys eye so to break the awkward moment he began "You wanna hear something interesting Barney. In Latin there are different ways of saying coffee. For instance there's Coffea Arabica, Coffea Robusta. It all depends…"
Barney cut him off and said "Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted will you stop talking already. I know that despite all my teachings you are still the nerdiest guy in the room most of the time but look at that guy over there I just can't take my eyes of him. He's just a laugh a minute".
"Which guy" Ted enquired. Barney pointed across and continued "That guy across the room. Glasses, bad haircut and cheap suit. Look at him; he just keeps striking out with every girl. And look at him at the bar, he's obviously making some dumb joke and Karl's just looking for an excuse to get away".
Ted took in the observation and said "Yeah poor guy. You know I'm beginning to genuinely feel sorry for him, maybe we should go over and say hello". Barney laughed and said "Come on Ted the night is young, a little longer and drunk girls are going getting more and more uninhibited and vulnerable". Ted replied "Yeah but I still feel sorry for the guy. Tell you what, let's at least go over and say hello and then I promise you I'll wingman for the rest of the night".
Chandler stood next to two girls at the bar who both clearly looked very bored listening to him rant on about one Halloween party. "So anyway there I was dressed as a pink bunny and Ross comes in dressed as some kind of space potato. He kept saying that he was Spudnik, you get that like sputnik except a potato but get this. Everyone thought he looked like doody". Chandler broke out laughing at the word Doody as the girls left giving him the cold shoulder.
Chandler sighed as he went over to the bar and put his glass down almost knocking it over and copped a wierd look from Karl the bartender. "Rough night" Karl asked. Chandler replied "Something like that. Just had my best friend cancel on me so I thought I'd fly solo but it's just not as fun as I thought it might be. I was really hoping I would bump into some guys from work but they must be having their own fun somewhere else.
Chandler heard a message tone on his phone but before he could answer he heard "Hey there" as a man's voice came from behind and Chandler turned around to see Ted and Barney in front of him. Ted extended his hand and said "You must be new here. My name's Ted and this is my friend Barney". Chandler introduced himself and shook hands with Ted and Barney and asked "So you guys regular here"?
"Regular? These guys practically live here. Hell if they spent any more time here than they already do I'd be charging them rent" said Wendy the waitress as she walked past with a try of drinks.
Ted then went on "Yeah well to be fair I do live in the building upstairs. Plus this place isn't too bad, you should really try the chicken wings. So Chandler, what is it you do with yourself"?
Chandler replied "Well I've been working in advertising for the last few years, and on weekend I mostly hang out at a coffee house with my friends" Barney shook his head and put his hand around Chandler and said "Poor poor Chandler. I think it is no coincidence us meeting tonight, I believe that you may very well indeed become my new protégé".
"Your new what" enquired Chandler. Barney continued "You see my friend Ted here. When we first met he had an awful beard and was a complete strikeout with the ladies. I taught him how to live and after a few years with me he is the finished product you see before you. I'll start by getting you into a new suit then I'll start you off as junior wingman and eventually you will become a fully fledged Bro. Get yourself ready cause it is going to be Legen- wait for it- Dary".
Chandler looked stunned and looked over at Ted and asked "Does he always talk like that" and Ted exhaled and nodded his head. Chandler said "Barney was it. Not to be rude or ungrateful but trust me I don't need any help with the ladies. I do just fine". Barney replied "Ha! Come on look at you. I bet back in college you used to dress as Miami Vice or Flock of Seagull or something like that. Honestly you can trust me in this".
Ted laughed and said "Haha Flock of Seagulls. Should've seen me in college I was a shocker". Chandler replied "Look I'm sure you're both really nice guys but I was really looking forward to just trying out this new bar and I'm expecting some friends soon".
Barney said "Okay I won't help you out for the better but I will give you one challenge just to see if you're as good as you say. You see that smokin hot brunette over there? I will bet $200 that you strike out within thirty seconds". Chandler looked at the woman where Barney was pointing and said "Ok Barney the dinosaur, I agree".
As Chandler walked off Barney looked shocked and said "Did he just say Barney the dinosaur? Lame"! Ted replied "Yeah poor guy. Easiest $200 you'll ever make". Both watched as Chandler went over to the brunette and Barney started his stopwatch as soon as Chandler said hello. Ted and Barney couldn't believe their eyes as within seconds Chandler almost had his tongue down her throat.
"Did you see that" Ted exclaimed. Barney was still shocked and didn't even blink, then finally uttered "That man is god"! Chandler went back down to the boys and said "Ted, Barney, I would like you both to meet my wife Monica". "Nice to meet you" said Ted while Barney was still confused and stuttered" Ah-uh nice to meet you as well Ma-Monica".
Monica then began "Chandler I messaged you ten minutes ago to let you know I got out of work early and I remember you mentioned you might be here". Chandler replied "That's great honey I'm so happy you could make it. How was work"? Monica replied "Pretty quiet. But at least I got off early to see my favorite man".
Ted then said "Hey guys, our regular booth just came free if you want to join us". "Yeah why not" replied Chandler and the four of them went to the booth and Ted ordered a round of drinks and chicken wings for the table. Monica then said "Hey guys I don't know what you're plans are for the night but I spoke to a couple of my friends and they freed up early so I told them to join us". "The more the merrier" replied Ted.
TO BE CONTINUED