I wrote most of this way late at night, so I'm sorry if anything is wrong. I got this idea last night.

This story is set before the whole Raven thing, so she's not mentioned. I'd say this is right after the Aftershock business.

Important edit: I made a HUGE mistake with the timeline. I forgot that between Aftershock and Birthmark there WAS no Slade. I'll find a way to fix it later, right now just pretend it makes sense.

More important edit: I fixed it. It's still a little awkward.

This is now set after Things Change.

36. Decide

When Beast Boy saw Slade, he knew he had to make a move. He knew that Slade had a habit of watching their battles from a distance, preferring to send robots to do his dirty work. If he hesitated, he could miss his chance and Slade would slip away like he did nearly every time.

After he met the Terra look-alike and fought one of Slade's stupid robots, the real Slade began to strike again, much to the Titan's chagrin.

This time they were trying to cut off one of his attacks before it reached the city, and they were in the middle of nowhere. Slade was well hidden, but Beast Boy had good sight, and could see through the dense trees to where he was watching.

As he crept closer, he noticed that Slade wasn't looking in his direction. He was looking at where the other Titans were fighting, the robots leading them farther and farther away from the area where he was hidden. All except Beast Boy. Surely he was aware of his absence…

There! The eye uncovered by his mask went wide in realization. Beast Boy knew Slade had noticed he was short one Titan. He took his chance. Shifting into a bear he swung his arm as hard as he could, aiming for Slade's face.

...He hit. And Slade fell.

...What? Seriously? Did that really happen? Did he really just knock out Slade, just like that? He leaned down and poked him just to be sure.

…He did! He really knocked him out!

He was just about to run and tell the other Titans when something stopped him. He just knocked out Slade. Not just any villain, but Slade. He couldn't just leave him there and risk him waking up and walking away while he was gone. He'd have to stay and watch him. The other Titans would come back to find him at some point. Until then, he'd just wait, ready to fight at any minute.

About twenty minutes passed before Beast Boy had a thought.

He could kill Slade.

The instant he thought it, he felt ashamed and sick. He couldn't kill a person. Even if it was Slade. He had thought he killed him at the amusement park, and just knowing that he could have "accidentally" killed a person turned his stomach.

"But…" he began out loud, "If I just…finished it, he couldn't hurt anyone anymore. I would be saving lives."

He paused for a while, contemplating. Could he really take one life to possibly save others? But it wasn't just a possibility, he knew that Slade would hurt more people.

"No! I can't believe I'm even thinking this! This is wrong! I can't kill anyone!"

Beast Boy got up and started pacing. His mind was flying back and forth, looking at the pros and cons of killing him, and beating himself up over considering it. Finally he had an idea. It was possible that this wasn't even Slade. He hadn't even taken the mask off to make sure that it wasn't just another robot decoy. If he took the mask off and it was just a robot, he was off the hook. He ran over and pulled the broken mask off.

He wasn't a robot. He was…a man. He looked to Beast Boy like a somewhat old man, though that might have been because of his facial hair. His hair was white, and an eye patch covered his missing eye. There was blood running down his face from the hit.

Beast Boy felt his stomach twist. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to be a robot. Or at least he thought that if he took the mask off and there was a man underneath he would realize how horrible it was to think the man should die.

But instead of compassion, instead of pity at the mess of a man before him, he felt anger. He felt anger stronger than he could ever remember feeling. Before, it was almost hard to see Slade as a real person. Of course he knew that he was human, but that never really clicked. He had always felt like he was fighting an idea, a symbol of evil. But no, Slade was a real human being. It just took a face to put with the words and the actions for him to realize that.

Beast Boy stood up and threw the mask at the ground. He was aware that Slade couldn't hear him, but he was so angry that he didn't care. "You. You are human. You sick, horrible person. Do you know what you've done to us? To all of us? Do you know what you've done to Robin? You've made him completely alienate us! He used to be my friend, you know. He used to like to do stuff with me, and now, because he's so obsessed with you, he never comes out of his room and he just thinks I'm annoying when I get him to come hang out with us. When we thought you were dead everything was so much better but you had to come back and ruin it all again! And Terra… You destroyed her, and you almost destroyed all of us. You took the one girl who didn't make me feel like a freak and you destroyed her! And you wanted to turn Raven over to her demon father! WE ALMOST LOST HER! How could you! What is your excuse? Do you want money? Do you want fame? What do you want? What do you do all this for? You don't do anything but destroy things! It's like you don't even have a reason, you just feel like it! Well, you know what I feel like doing? I feel like killing you!"

And for a split second, he decided to do it. There were so many ways he could. Animals he never used before, because the very thought of them scared him. Animals that live to kill, to poison, to rip apart, to devour. The sound of them filled his mind, and he fell back, overwhelmed by the flood of instinct and emotion. He wanted to kill him, to destroy him like he destroyed so much that he had loved. He felt his body prepare to change, then felt his thoughts shift into something unfamiliar. Something animal.

He didn't feel human. And that's what stopped him.

He couldn't do it. Not now, at least. Maybe later. Maybe someday. Maybe if he knew what was right. He wiped the tears off his face and took a last look at the man across from him.

"You're lucky I'm more human than you are."

And with that he crawled away, fighting the guilt of almost killing a man, and the guilt for allowing the deaths that were sure to follow soon after. A head injury wouldn't keep Slade down for long.

It took half an hour to catch up with his friends. He knew that by the time the fight was done, Slade would most likely be up and gone, leaving no trace for Robin's after-battle search. The Titans made no attempt to hide how angry they were at him deserting them, but he refused to resume human form while fighting, hoping to be able compose himself before facing them. When the fight was over they all gathered around him, ready to yell and demand an explanation, but when he shifted back and they saw his face, deathly pale, eyes red from crying, no one said a word. After a moment of awkward silence, Beast Boy cleared his throat and forced a smile. "So…I guess we won. Should we…go out for pizza?"

There was more awkward silence before Robin stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "Sure, Beast Boy. Let's go."

Sometimes, friends know when not to ask.

I don't think he would be able to kill someone on purpose. Just my thoughts. You also have to think that when he gets angry enough to want to kill, it would be hard to control all of those instincts. I assume that losing control is something that would definitely scare him. I know it would scare me. Also, the question he's trying to answer is a difficult one, and one that doesn't always have an absolute answer. Might do a thing where Beast Boy confesses the letting-Slade-go thing to Robin. Not sure. Also, if you have ideas, let me know, because if I'm bored I might use them (and credit you, of course.) The key word is "might", though. Ha. I have lots of ideas of my own too.