Thanks to Amethyst for the inspiration for the article! Thanks to dazzleglo for the idea! Review with your problems and I promise you that Emmett will answer them!
FORKS HIGH SCHOOL NEWSPAPER
The Forks High School Newspaper is delivered to students for $1.50 every week. Enjoy!
Bitch Fight in the Cafeteria
by: Peter Wells
New girl, Trixie Stone, experienced one of her first bitch fights in the Cafeteria today. Trixie had chosen spaghetti, chocolate milk, and a banana yogurt as her lunch and was making her way across the cafeteria to her table. Well, she should have noticed the 'Wet Floor' sign but unfortunately, she didn't. To make things short, she slipped and her tray flew into the air to land into Rosalie Hale's hair. Of course, Rosalie didn't let it go at that. She stood up, spaghetti and yogurt dripping from her hair, and shouted cuss words and other insults at Trixie who was cowering by then. Hale had to be restrained by her boyfriend, Emmett Cullen and adopted brother, Edward Cullen. The Cullens exited the cafeteria as though nothing happened. But this reporter overheard Ms. Hale shouting in the hallway "I'll get that bitch for ruining my hair!" Trixie Stone, you better watch out!
THE ADVICE COLUMN
by: Emmett Cullen
Dear emmett, I am moving soon, and im not sure if i'm going to be able to make friends with the ppl where i'm going. -moving on up!
Dear Moving on up!, don't worry...you'll be able to make new friends. And don't change just to make others like you. Be who you are! ~Emmett
Dear Emmett, my brother has a dog who smells. What do I do? ~Smelly
Dear Smelly, we also have a couple of dogs from La Push who smell. I suggest throwing your brother's dog out into the porch. That's what I did with the puppies from La Push. ~Emmett
Dear Emmett, my brother beat me in arm wrestling. I'm humiliated, so what should i do? ~Advice
Dear Advice, I can relate to this. Insert comments about your brother's sex life as much as possible. Have fun! ~Emmett