Summary: After getting fired from his previous job, because his petty bastard of a boss couldn't take no for an answer, Harry takes over as the new guidance counsellor of McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio, thanks to his aunt, Sue Sylvester.

Harry Potter/Glee

Counselling

Oh, New York

Harry looked through the glass door of the principal's office, watching the three figures' argument going on, and wondered what the hell he was doing at this place.

Oh yes, apparently he was fired from his previous job, because his petty bastard of a boss couldn't take no for an answer. The memory of Lucius Malfoy's smug, arrogant smirk when he told Harry that Malfoy and Co. Industries can't afford to employ a Lifestyle Counsellor anymore and hence they'll have to say goodbye to him could make his blood boil even after three weeks.

Sure, a several billion dollar company can't afford a single counsellor, despite having two suicides and three suicide attempts due to the stress and the strain of work mere weeks before Harry joined the company. However, instead of punching Lucius, who two days earlier was still trying his best to seduce him, in the face, the younger man just sneered and asked for his last payment check before walking out of the asshole's office, head held high, green eyes determined.

And now he stood in front of the principal's office at William McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio to take over the post of the guidance counsellor. Harry knew he should have been grateful, after all his aunt got him a job basically the moment he told her what happened – she even offered to sue Malfoy, which he kindly refused –, but exchanging his quiet, peaceful life at his cosy little apartment in New York for the sheer, albeit uniquely loving, craziness of his Aunt Sue's trophy museum in a socially backwards little town like Lima hadn't been amongst his plans.

Not to mention the whole being surrounded by hormonal teenagers factor. Harry hated teenagers. He hated them when he was one and his hatred only grew stronger as he became older. Teenagers were mean, petty and so severely self-absorbed it hurt, not to mention the careless way they caused each other pain, all the while thinking that being popular amongst people who they would probably never meet again after graduation was the most important thing of the world.

Not that in this case Harry's personal opinion of the 14 to 18 year olds mattered; he needed a job, and at least at a high school there wouldn't be middle aged wives who not only needed tips to spice up their marriage but afterward thought it was necessary to inform Harry about the developments, in details.

He shuddered at the thought and quickly shoved it to the back of his mind, concentrating on the task in hand. His aunt, the curly haired man, Harry knew from Sue's rants very well, and a kind of burly woman in dark shorts and a polo shirt complemented with a whistle hanging around her neck were still going at it, but now Aunt Sue was snarling directly into the other woman's face. Harry watched the interaction for another minute or so, but then the bulky woman opened the door with a victorious expression and marched out without even noticing him.

"It's not over yet! Hear me, Beiste? It's far from over!"

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important," Harry said with a smile, sending a look to his positively livid aunt before looking at the other two occupants of the office. "I was told to be here at nine," he added when the principal only continued to stare at him blankly.

"Ah, yes! Mr. Potter, right?"

"Am I missing something?" the curly haired man cut in before Harry could answer, his moderately attractive face lined with confusion.

"I'm Harry Potter," Harry offered, stretching out his right hand before continuing, "the new guidance counsellor."

Schuester face blanched before he could have caught himself, showing his shock and disappointment and Harry remembered that Aunt Sue had told him something about him being in love with Harry's predecessor or something. It looked like the woman forgot to inform Will about her quitting her job. Or maybe she got a break down from the endless teenage drama that was going on at this place.

"I... I see," Schuester said at last accepting the proffered hand. "I'm Will Schuester. Welcome aboard, Harry!"

"Yes, yes," Principal Figgins nodded hastily, his accent strong and heavy. "You just have to sign your contract, Mr. Potter and then you're free to take your place in your new office."

"You don't have to waste your time with reading it over, Jollipop," Aunt Sue said, her trademark smirk in place. "I drew up the contract myself, using everything in my power to give you what you deserve."

Harry grinned in thanks, his eyes flashing at the hated yet deeply adored pet name his aunt gave him when he was but a child, just losing his parents because they happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. He nodded and walked over to the desk where Figgins was waiting with a pen in hand, looking nervous and strangely tense.

What was his problem?

He looked down at the at least seven or maybe ten pages long stack, trusting his aunt to know what to include without rechecking it, and he was ready to start writing, when Schuester opened his mouth saying, "You're already sabotaging the new kid's job? That's low even for you, Sue."

"Clearly, your already degenerated brain cells have been affected by the disgusting amount of product you put in your hair even further, William, if you can not recognise the blaringly obvious familiarity between me and Harry," Sue countered with a condescending sneer causing Harry's lips to curl into a faint smirk as he quickly signed at the required places.

"I'm her nephew, by the way," he interrupted before the brown haired man could respond. "And I don't appreciate the hidden jibe toward my intelligence, because obviously you think me naive enough to sign something without reading at least twice that was draw up by a total stranger."

"Of course not!" Schuester looked taken aback. "It wasn't my intention to offend you, Harry. Not at all."

"Then make sure you don't assume things without knowing the person first, because I don't judge you despite having heard quite a few stories about you," Harry replied seriously, looking into the other man's brown gaze and holding it.

"Well... Welcome to McKinley High, Mr. Potter... Harry!" Figgins broke the silence eyeing them in worry, probably afraid they will start a fight in his office. "Your keys."

The young counsellor turned to the balding man, eyes narrowing slightly and noticing the looks the principal was shooting at Harry's aunt, the fear practically glowing in those small, almost beady dark eyes. He repressed a sigh as the ideas just what kind of methods Sue could have used to ensure Harry got the best alongside with the job flooded his mind. Probably he was better off not knowing, after all his aunt was one vicious bitch.

He pocketed the small ring of keys after a thank you and sent an expectant look at his aunt, but as she was still glaring daggers at the principal, Harry decided to leave her to it and with a little shake of his head he left the office fishing his map of the school out of his back pocket.

[HP/KH]

His things were still sitting in the box he put down on his new desk waiting for him to finally finish ogling the colourful and comical pamphlets he found left behind on the shelf behind the desk. They were neatly stacked and thematically sorted and for some reason Harry just couldn't tear his eyes off them.

Every brochure had a title in different colours and there were simple drawings on the front. He snorted softly when he found the 'I Can't Stop Touching Myself' one, picking one up from the stack and opening it.

Touching yourself down there– Harry blinked, wondering if that Pillsbury woman was an utter prude, because really, what kind of adult, not to mention if that adult is a guidance counsellor, starts the introduction of a sex guide speech – or brochure, something that still baffled Harry – unable to use the correct terms? He shook his head and continued.

Touching yourself down there is not wrong. You are at an age when your body is going through serious changes, your hormones start to work extra hard and with the extra boost of hormones comes the need to find release for the pent up tension in your body.

What a nice way to explain the reasons behind the constant horniness, Harry thought and closed the pamphlet, somehow knowing there won't be any technique description or explanation about the correct ways to use different toys. However before he could have put the booklet back to its place a thought flashed through his mind, causing him to open it once again, skimming through the awkward and evasive lines, groaning when he finally found what he was looking for.

...You need to make sure your hands are clean before and after the process...

Who called masturbation a process? Harry started to think his predecessor was not only prude but socially awkward with no sexual experience whatsoever. How could someone like her become a guidance counsellor in a high school full of randy children, most of who already believed they were more than ready to get down to the dirty.

He considered checking out the other ones too to see if he should just throw them away or maybe use some of them, however before he could decide an unexpected visitor brought him back from his musings.

"Emma really liked those pamphlets." Will Schuester was standing in the doorway with a sheepish grin on his face looking at the sheet in Harry's hand, his expression softening into sad nostalgia. Harry raised an inquiring eyebrow causing the man to snap out of whatever memory he was replaying. "I knocked, but I guess you didn't hear then."

"It's okay. Did you need something?"

"Well, actually I wanted to ask if you needed any help with getting settled in." The cheery smile was back and Harry got the impression that Will was one of those happy go lucky, sweet men, who always tried to see the best in everything. "I even brought some coffee."

"That's nice of you, thanks." Harry smiled and took the offered cup. "Although I don't really have many things to unpack, but you can sit down and stay while I put my things away."

"Are you sure?" Will asked looking around for any extra boxes.

"Yeah, I have everything in this." He patted the carton box on his desk. "Why don't you tell me about yourself a bit?" He enquired instead. "Like what do you teach for instance?"

"Spanish," came the answer. "And I'm the director of the school's Glee Club, but I'm sure your aunt told you about it." Will continued, his easygoing mood changing rapidly. "To tell the truth, I still can hardly believe you and Sue are related. Don't take offence, but I couldn't find a similar bone in you two."

Harry chuckled at the very unsubtle method his colleague used to get some information out of him, but replied nonetheless, "To be honest she is my first cousin once removed, but that just sounds weird, so I call her my aunt."

"Oh, I see. And what's it like to be related to her?"

"If you're looking for some secrets you can use against her, try another door," Harry said dryly causing the older man to blush. "Look, Will, I don't really know what you expect, maybe some horror stories or a sob story about abuse, but I love my aunt and she has not only my loyalty and trust, but my respect too."

"Sorry, I guess I worded that wrong," Will apologised, his hazel eyes earnest. "But you have to understand, most people in this school are either terrified of her or strongly dislike her, and I guess I just can't see her as someone who would treat anyone with tenderness."

"You can say it out loud you know. My aunt is a condescending bitch." Harry smirked as his companion choked on his coffee.

"I thought you said, you loved her," Will wheezed out, still trying to regain his ability to breathe.

"Of course I love her, but I'm not blind to her faults and flaws," came the nonchalant answer, while green eyes watched the other man's every move.

Harry learned the hard way not to judge others by first impression, and while Will Schuester looked a genuinely kind hearted man, he was not ready to trust him. Far from it, even if he heavily filtered his aunt's rants about the Spanish teacher. As he said, he was perfectly aware that Sue was far from perfect, especially to people who weren't family. Harry also knew about her derision toward the Glee Club and Will and was sure, his aunt would pop a vein when she learned about Harry's intention of learning more about the choir.

"But enough of my aunt, why don't you talk about your club? I was always intrigued what could make Aunt Sue feel threatened enough to talk about it in such a great detail as she does about you and your kids," Harry continued, repressing a smirk at the sudden glint of satisfaction and smugness lighting up in Will's eyes.

"Well, for some reason, Glee is actually in the bottom of the food chain. Something I can't understand, because when I was a member of the Glee Club in this school, we were popular..."

"It's quite simple," Harry replied with a little shrug of his shoulders. "Jocks are ruthless and strong, hence they're able to rule the school. Though with such a lame football team like y... ours, I'm a bit baffled why the kids still think jocks are cool."

"I don't get this. The glee kids have talent and amazing voice and it's ignored as if it was nothing!" Will exclaimed, running a hand through his gelled curls.

"Don't ask me to understand teenagers. I hate them," Harry sneered shocking his colleague once again. "Don't need to gape like a fish, it's nothing unusual."

"I'd say it is when you are a guidance counsellor," the Spanish teacher argued, his feelings written all over his face.

"I'm actually a Lifestyle Counsellor."

"A what?"

"A shrink for over-stressed, over-worked and seriously troubled people."

"Like a therapist?"

"Something like that. I listen to my patients' problems and try to help them through advices on changes in their lifestyle."

"You have confidentiality policy, right?"

"You want to book a session?"

"Um... Just curious," Will murmured uncertainly, not meeting Harry's gaze.

"If you ever change your mind, just tell me. And to answer your question, yes. Doctor-patient confidentiality is very important in my line of work," the young counsellor answered with an encouraging smile, placing his laptop on the desk.

"Thank you, I will." The older man smiled back and stood up. "But I have to go now, my next class starts in ten minutes.

"Okay, see you at lunch, I guess?"

"My kids are having a little impromptu performance outside during lunch break, I'll be there, if you're interested," Will said, turning back from the door.

"I'll think about it," Harry replied, even though he already knew he would be there. It's going to be the perfect payback for his aunt's lovely stunt of calling him on that stupid name.

[HP/KH]

"Why hello, Jollypop!" His aunt sauntered into his office just as Harry was about to head out and meet Will Schuester outside on the schoolyard. "What is this I hear about you making hug-buddies with Captain Grease?"

"You should really have your wheel-cart-girls' eyes checked, because I'm pretty sure no hugs or any form of touching was involved during Schuester's visit." Harry deadpanned with a roll of his eyes. "He came to spy on you actually. And to prove the talent of his kids he invited me to watch them... now."

Sue sneered and continued to lean against the doorframe, blocking her nephew's way out. "I don't think so, young man. You will sit back down on your pert little backside and– Seriously, JP, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you should gain some weight. No one's going to be interested in a walking skeleton." she said, changing the topic in midsentence and earning a raised eyebrow from Harry.

"JP? Aunt, this is getting overboard," he gritted out, trying to control the urge to scowl at the new name.

"Well I can always call you Jelly Jester or Popsicle Popper, if you'd like that."

"I would appreciate it if you referred me as Harry, instead of any of these distasteful and offending names."

"Well, it was you who believed she's a candy witch. Can you blame me for finding the name quite fitting for your adorably enchanting and sugary personality?"

"I was five."

"You were eleven."

"So what? I liked that book."

"Such a witty comeback."

"You wanted something aside from insulting my body and calling me on infantile and unbecoming names?"

"Admit it, Jollipop, you love the name," Sue said, smirking slyly. "And I know you still have that book."

Harry's hands curled into fists by his side, his righteous anger burning through his veins over the fact his aunt actually went through his things. Sure he learned early to keep his most important belongings at arm reach, because the word privacy didn't exist in Sue Sylvester's dictionary, but he slid that book into a hidden pocket of his suitcase! Well if he thought about it, it was his own fault. He should have never let that book out of his sight while he stayed at his aunt's home.

He huffed, bored with their ridiculous staring competition and walked back to his chair, flopping down and knowing he would never get out of his office to see the Glee kids' little performance now. So instead he tried to find the most comfortable position, leaning back against the back of his chair and twining his fingers on his stomach lazily.

"Why don't you come in and sit down?" Harry asked, nodding toward the leather seat across from him. "I don't have any of those disgusting concoctions you drink though."

"Better, JP, much better," his aunt nodded with a smug curl of her lips and stalked over the black leather armchair. "Now spill."

"Spill what?" The counsellor smirked, raising a sardonic brow at the demand which earned him a menacing glare. "There is nothing much to say, Aunt. The office is big enough and that Pillsbury woman even left me some useless leaflets I guess she's made. I've seen a dozen of kids wandering around in the hallway peeking through the door and ogling me for a few seconds; they look kind of gaudy by the way and–"

"As entertaining as this little prattle fest is, I couldn't care less what you think about the semen brained morons or the Weasel Woman's pathetic attempts at explaining what being a hormone induced powerhouse means," Sue interrupted impatiently, her blue eyes flashing.

"Look, Aunt Sue, Schuester came in, decked out his best 'I'm welcoming you with open arms' act then proceeded to the snooping part almost immediately. To tell the truth, I was kinda disappointed by the lack of challenge he presented. On another note though," here Harry stopped and smiled a little smile, "I have to admit I haven't found anything deadly affronting in his personality to outright hate his guts, just like you'd like me to."

"I did not hear the blasphemy pouring out of your mouth and just you know, I'm seriously considering ordering someone to bring a bucket of water and soap to wash the vile filth out of your mouth," his aunt hissed, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"I don't know what you expect from me, Aunt, but you won't drag me in the middle of your ludicrous war against the Glee Club and William Schuester," the black haired youth stated, green orbs hard like steel.

Sue scowled at him, muttering something about treacherous, ungrateful nephews, before the scowl melted into a smug smirk, giving Harry a very foreboding feeling. "Be it as it may, I'll bring down those glitter spouting cripples without your help, but you will be at the Cheerios audition tomorrow at three."

"No."

"It wasn't a question, Jelly Jester, so be the sweet little boy you used to be and work your magic for the only person who was always there for you."

"That was uncalled for. And stop with the names already!"

But his aunt was already standing up, looking at the clock on the wall and not listening at all. "Oh look at the time! I better go and get ready for the first row of auditions. Be happy, Harwyn, I didn't ask you to show up every day."

"You mean, not yet," Harry almost growled and his aunt outright laughed into his face.

"I see, still remembering everything I've taught you."

"How could I forget?" Sue winked and with a dismissing wave walked out of the office, leaving a fuming and irritated, but still somehow smiling Harry in her wake.