You get an extra chapter this week!

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Cassandra's worry dissipated over the next few weeks as no rumors about her and Varric reached her. Perhaps they'd managed to be a little more discreet than she'd originally thought, or maybe Dorian had made good on his word and helped to stop the rumors before they could spread. Either way, she was grateful.

Things between her and Varric were, well, almost nonexistent at this point. Instead of trading insults and jabs at one another like usual, they avoided one another, save for when the Inquisitor called on them to work together. Part of her almost missed the banter with the dwarf, but it felt far too awkward now around him, especially after the things she'd said that morning. She suspected she'd hurt him on some level, yet she couldn't bring herself to apologize. So she continued on as if nothing had happened.

That is, until she started feeling sick.

She was walking alongside Leliana, discussing their nominations for becoming the next Divine when it happened. The smell of meat cooking hit her nose as they walked past the tavern and her stomach lurched. She swallowed and clenched her jaw, fighting against the nausea that overwhelmed her. "I'm sorry, Leliana," she gasped and turned away, rushing over to vomit behind a bush. She spat and groaned before she stood up straight. "Excuse me," she said, her face feeling flush. "I think I am coming down with something. That is the third time in two days."

Leliana smiled at her friend, chuckling behind her hand, "A nausea that only strikes you when you smell something particularly strong, yes? Unexplained headaches, out of breath faster than normal." She shook her head. "In any case, I had been meaning to talk to you about your 'illness.' Especially if you are still very much to be kept in consideration for the next Divine."

Cassandra's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about, Leliana? What does a little stomach virus have to do with becoming the Divine?" She drew a deep breath and stood up straighter. "I am sure it is nothing. But perhaps you should not stand too close to me. I wouldn't want you to catch it if it is contagious."

Leliana laughed out loud at that. "I seriously doubt that, but this is not a conversation to be had where there are prying eyes and ears," she said and quickly led them towards the blacksmith, up to Cassandra's area on the third floor. She wasted little time as she turned towards her friend, "I will have to know what your intentions are, of course. If you truly want to be considered for Divine or if you want to continue on your current path. I have something for your stomach bug, but you will have to be absolutely certain that this is what you want. Of course, you will have to speak with Varric about it. Unless you haven't told him yet and plan to keep it that way."

Cassandra was more confused than ever. "Speak plainly, Leliana. I have no idea what you are talking about," she said as a frown crossed her lips. She tried to sort it all out in her head, to make sense of what Leliana said, but for the life of her, she didn't understand it. "And why would I speak to Varric about this? As of late, he and I are… no longer on speaking terms. I fail to see what interest he would have in my health."

The Spymaster blinked at Cassandra a moment before realization clicked and her mouth formed an o. "Oh! I wasn't aware that you were not aware. I thought the signs of being with child were obvious ones. As for why he would have a stake in the wellbeing of his own child, I would hope that is self explanatory. I thought it was all rather obvious, considering your night together some weeks ago."

Horror and anger lanced through Cassandra and for a moment, she thought to punch Leliana for such an accusation. "I am not with child!" she cried angrily before she gasped and lowered her tone. Oh please let no one have heard that. "I am not with child," she repeated in a low hiss. "How could you think such a thing?" She felt as though she couldn't breathe and she took a step back from the other woman. A cold sweat broke out on the back of her neck as she thought about it. "No," she breathed, shaking her head adamantly. "No, no this cannot be. I cannot be pregnant, especially with Varric's child!"

Leliana observed her friend as she denied it. "I will admit, it is rather unheard of for two different races to conceive a child together. The chances of this happening are slim to none." Her eyes narrowed as she saw Cassandra getting ready to have a breakdown. "Easy! Relax. This is not the end of the world. Like I said, if you truly do not want to go through with this, I have something that will make it as though it never happened and you can go on as normal."

Cassandra waved her hands, shaking her head. "Stop. Just stop," she pleaded, trying to take in everything Leliana said. She felt shaky and had to sit down on the floor for a moment before her knees gave out. She rested her elbows on bent knees and covered her face with her hands. "Maker, no. No, this cannot be happening," she prayed. She didn't know what to feel in that moment. Scared. Angry. Guilty. "Oh, I think I might be sick again." She dragged her hands down her face and looked up at Leliana. "What am I going to do?" she whispered.

Leliana knelt down next to Cassandra. "There are quite a few things you can do in this situation. The choice is yours of course, but perhaps you should speak to Varric. He might have better input than I. Think carefully about what you want, of course, if you want to be Divine or if you want to stay on this path, but a choice, a hard choice, must be made. You know everyone here will support your decision."

"Will they?" Cassandra asked skeptically. "You are more optimistic than I." She frowned as she stared at the floor. She was still trying to accept this information; she didn't think she could make such a decision now.

"We are at war, Cassandra. They will understand that sacrifices must be made."

She swallowed harshly. If it was true, she didn't think she could do what Leliana suggested. She shook her head. "If what you are saying is true, if I truly am carrying Varric's child, then I will give up my candidacy to the Divine. You said that a child between races is rare. This must be the will of the Maker, though I do not see his reason for it." She bowed her head and forced herself to breathe steadily through her nose. "Andraste preserve me," she cursed.

She looked up again, her face set in determination. "I will not speak to Varric until I am absolutely certain." She chewed her lip, wondering how she could find out for sure. "Do you think one of the mages might be able to tell me?" She bowed her head again. "I feel foolish."

Leliana nodded and tapped a finger to her lips. "If I had to suggest someone to you, I would say go and see Solas. He sees more about the world around him than he lets on."

"Solas?" Cassandra asked. "I… I am not certain I am comfortable discussing the matter with him. Perhaps Dorian…"

Leliana stood up, helping Cassandra up as well, "It's whomever you want to see that can help you determine if my hunch is right or wrong. You still have some time to think things over before it is too late. Make the decision based on what you want, not what's expected of you."

Cassandra spent the next few hours lost in thought, taking out her aggression on her practice dummy. She didn't know if she could speak to Dorian about this, though he hadn't been judgmental about her night with Varric. Part of her wasn't even sure if she wanted to know one way or the other and wished she could just go on pretending like it never even happened, like this was something she didn't have to deal with. But even as she tried to ignore it, it ate at her.

Finally around mid-afternoon she stabbed her sword into the ground with a growl of frustration and turned on her heel to march towards the main hall. She had to do this before she lost her nerve.

She found Dorian in his usual nook, perusing the selection of books on the shelves there. She grabbed him by the arm, rougher than she meant to, and dragged him along with her. "I need to speak to you privately," she hissed.

"Whatever you've heard, I didn't do it. Bull goaded me into it, that great lummox!" Dorian protested as he was dragged into an empty room and he blinked as he looked around and then finally stopped his gaze on Cassandra, "Really, I am flattered by this, but you must know by now that I swing the other way, yes?"

Cassandra slapped a hand to her own face. "Maker, help me," she growled before she lowered her hand and glared at Dorian. "Yes. We are all aware of your preferences. That is not why I brought you here," she stated firmly. She swallowed and looked down at her hands, twisting her fingers together. Her voice was softer when she spoke again. "I have a question and I do not know if you can answer it for me, but I do not know who else to go to." She drew a deep breath and met his eyes. "I have not felt well for the past few days. Leliana believes that I am… with child. But I do not know for certain. Is there any way you could…?"

Dorian's eyebrows nearly shot up into his hair. "With child? I... would offer my congratulations on the matter, but I'm getting the feeling that they would not be appreciated at this point in time." He held a hand to his chin, thinking thoughtfully for a moment. "I am sorry to say, this matter is really the furthest from my area of expertise; you couldn't be further off the map. You know how it is with the whole 'I'm a necromancer.' We like to deal in death, not life. You should really see Solas about this. This seems up his alley. With spirits and such. Something like that. It sounded better in my head."

"Ugh!" she huffed. "Leliana said the same. Solas is just so… judgmental. I'd hoped you would have an answer for me." She huffed again, feeling nervous and defeated. "I suppose there is no other option. I will speak to Solas. I am sorry to have bothered you. And I would appreciate it if you kept this to yourself."

She seemed to drag her feet as she left Dorian, making her way to the rotunda where she knew Solas would be. She could feel her face burning and knew it had to be ten different shades of red by the time she reached the bottom of the stairs.

He stood on the scaffolding, working on one of the murals on the wall.

"Solas?" she asked, hating how timid she sounded. "Might I speak with you for a moment?"

Solas looked over his shoulder, pausing his brush strokes. He was almost uncertain of who had called up to him and he was surprised to see Cassandra standing there, looking rather out of place. "Of course, Seeker. I'll be just a moment," he said as he carefully put down his brushes and grabbed up a dirty rag to wipe his hands off on before he climbed down. "Is something the matter? You look troubled."

"I am," she admitted, fidgeting slightly. "I need to discuss something with you. It is rather personal," she said hesitantly. "I had hoped to not involve anyone else with this, but Dorian could not answer it for me." Oh, she wanted to hide, to run away and pretend that this conversation wasn't happening. "Leliana believes I am pregnant. And I have no way of knowing for certain at this point. But I must know. It is driving me crazy not to. I had hoped that maybe you would know a way to tell for certain." Her face was on fire, she was certain of that much, and her hands shook so badly that she clasped them together to try to hide it.

Solas' eyebrows raised a bit before his features softened and he smiled at her. "Of course, Seeker. I know a spell or two on the matter. I have seen many performed during my journeys into the Fade. The ancient elves were quite proficient in picking up the energies and resting spirits within another," he said as he looked at her carefully, taking in her nervous state. Gently he raised his hands, extending them towards her abdomen, "If I may?"

Cassandra was surprised at the relief she felt, knowing that she would finally get her answer. She nodded and stepped closer, her heart beating faster than ever before. 'Please, Andraste, let it not be true,' she prayed silently in her head. She struggled to control her breathing as she moved her hands behind her and looked over at the wall, pretending to be interested in the paintings there. She couldn't remember ever feeling so uncomfortable in her life.

Solas extended his magic outward, a blue light surrounding his hands as he gently passed it over Cassandra, feeling out for the telltale signs. The little life inside of her responded in kind, whispers of gentle, pure spirits whispered to him about it and he smiled. "I do believe congratulations are in order, Cassandra," he said as he ended the spell, looking up at her face, but he paused as he saw the concern, the pain in her expression, and he was acutely aware that they were no longer alone as Cole appeared in the room.

"A light in the darkness, but there is fear, pain. Maker, please let it not be true. I cannot be. Not with his child." He blinked and looked over at Cassandra, "But there is so much happiness in this little one. Enough to make you and Varric very happy. I do not understand why it hurts you so. It is so pure, so white."

Cassandra's heart sank. Solas confirmed what she feared and now Cole spoke those fears aloud. She could not deny it any longer. A hard knot formed in her throat that she couldn't swallow. "This cannot be," she whispered in disbelief. She turned away from them, her hands clenching into fists that shook at her sides. She shook her head, angry with the situation, angry at the Maker, angry at Varric. And most of all, angry with herself. "One stupid night of drinking and now I will be forever tied to that insufferable dwarf," she snarled. "Oh, I will never forgive myself for such a stupid mistake."

Cole blinked, "Oh no, I made it better, but now it's worse." He scratched at his head through his hat. "I don't understand. The little life in you is happy to be there. Happiness that wants to spread."

"Cole," Solas said cautiously, "Thank you, but I do believe this is something Cassandra needs to work through on her own. This is not something one can forget." He watched as Cole nodded his understanding and vanished without another word before he turned back to Cassandra. He considered her for a moment, casting the spell was one thing, dealing with someone who did not want the gift they had was another. "Mistakes have interesting ways of turning out, Seeker. On the one hand, they can be disastrous and unkind, leaving you reeling in their wake to undo what you can to make things right again. This, however, is something different entirely. It is not a mistake that can be undone and if it can, you will not be the same person when it is finished. So forge ahead. I have seen many couples in the Fade benefit and flourish in the wake of an unexpected child. It changes them. Perhaps it will change Varric as well?"

She still stood with her back to him, fighting the burning sensation in her eyes. "I do not want to change. And Varric, he will never be any different than he is now. Leliana offered me a way to end this, but I will not take it. I know you do not believe in the Maker, Solas, but I have to believe that this is somehow his will. I will not go against that." She sighed heavily and let her shoulders relax slightly. "To be honest, I do not wish to travel either path, but now I have no choice. I must deal with the consequences of my mistakes." She cleared her throat and turned to him. "Thank you. I am sorry to have bothered you with this, but I did not know where else to go."

He gave her a slight bow. "I am, as always, happy to help, but Seeker. Do not make the mistake that you have to shoulder this alone. It is not a path I would wish on anyone."

"It is my mistake, Solas. And as I said, I shall deal with the consequences."