I realised that the story was moving quite slowly and I have picked up the pace a little, I think :P

I don't own Beyblade

Chapter 3

'You useless child. It's your fault that your father died; you took him away from me. Now I have to stare at your nasty face every single day. You should just leave like your pathetic brother.'

My eyes shot open. There was a thin layer of sweat coating my body and my chest was heaving. I hadn't had dreams like this in a while; my sleeping pattern is going to be a mess if this continues. Sitting up, I considered ringing my therapist, Dr Glade (or Dr G, as Ash calls him), I am supposed to if I have any dreams of this kind but he was in England and God knows what time it was there. I glanced at the clock, 3am. I know I won't be able to sleep again so might as well do something productive and distracting. Those boxes aren't going to unpack themselves after all.

…

Four hours later I collapsed on my bed and looked at the clock, 7.30am. Another hour or so til school. I sat up and admired my mad unpacking skills; the room felt full unlike yesterday. There were a few photo frames on the walls, stuffed animals on the bed, the cupboard was full of clothes and the bookshelf was overflowing. This feels more comfortable. But still so empty. My insides churn horribly and my heart feels heavy. Dealing with loneliness has never been my strong suit; in fact, it's the one thing that brings me to my knees… literally.

'Deep breaths Felicity, keep yourself busy', Dr G's voice rang in my head.

I have to keep myself stress free so that I don't have another freaky deaky episode; manic or depression. My mind wandered back to when I was first diagnosed with depression. I was eight and my life was already crashing to a sudden halt. My arms were covered with deep scars; looking so ugly. That was the first time I met Dr G. He still had some black in his hair compared to his current snow white hair. Throughout the whole session I felt uncomfortable sitting with a stranger who didn't care about me and was only talking to me for the money. No words left my mouth that first session and when I left the hospital, my body felt empty and numb.

I shudder at the memory and at the person who took me to the hospital. Conrad Phoenix; my beloved big brother. Just thinking about him hurts; he was and is my everything. No-one can match him in any way. He was smart, not just intelligent but cunning as well. You have to be to look after yourself at the age of 13. You could say our mother hated us because we looked so much like our father. All three of us had the same silky black hair and brilliant green eyes. I had inherited my father's dimples and Conrad had his height. My mother was the opposite of us. She had blonde hair, which was so close to white you'd think she's bleached it. My twin brother, Leo Phoenix, took after my mother. He had the same white hair and intense blue eyes. No-one thought of us as being siblings let alone twins.

The difference in our appearances had never bothered me until my father died. My mother couldn't bear to look at me and Conrad so we were left to fend for ourselves. Leo was showered with love; I had no idea why my mother didn't look at me like she used to. Her eyes were filled with pain and hatred towards me. For six years I wondered what I did wrong, why she hated me, what I could do to win her love. Leo was always praised for whatever he did so when Leo joined the football team (soccer in America) so did I. When he started painting, I did too. Any new activity he took up, I wanted to do it to show my mother that I was the same as him, even better in some things. Of course I was around 9 when Conrad told me that nothing could change how she feels about me, unless I brought my father back to life; not putting all my money on that.

Conrad had the same treatment but he left when he was 13 living by himself and working his ass off. He was trying to start up his own business and when he had enough money he would take me in. Every night I prayed for the day when I would be able to live with him and that finally came when I was 11. It's not like my whole life turned around because I left my mother. Still to this day I wonder what I ever did to make her hate me and if there was anything I could have done.

The marks on my wrists will probably never go away, but I like it that way. It's a reminder of who I am and how much I have improved. It's been a year since I cut, I have felt the urge to but Dr G taught me some techniques that'll distract me and take the urge away. I guess that's another way Conrad saved me, by introducing me to Dr G. He stayed with me through my depression and later when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but that story's for another day.

8.00am. Time to get ready for school. While I was starting my morning routine, my thoughts drifted to school and the people there. They seemed nice I guess but I was going to leave after 2 years so is there any point in making friends? What if they found out about me, my wrists aren't exactly subtle, they scream messed up kid with serious issues. I guess a full sleeved shirt will be more suitable. And why am I suddenly thinking about others people's opinions? I am bipolar and proud… God that sounds so fake. I just want to get this day over with.

…

'Make sure you complete all of the exercises before next lesson or else, detentions all round'. Miss Teely yelled out to all of us. Maths had always made sense to me; there is something soothing about numbers at the fact that the answer can only be either right or wrong, there is no middle ground.

It's lunch and all the kids are being attracted to the cafeteria like flies to a corpse (excuse my depressing similes, I can't help it). I grab a tray and scowl at the slop thrusted into it. It should be illegal to make us eat this, it's like animal food.

I scanned the cafeteria for safe places to sit and spotted an empty table in the corner. Perfect. I sat down and opened my most recent book; The Road by Cormac McCarthy, one of the bleakest books you will ever read. My mind was so absorbed in the man's trek across America with his son that I didn't notice someone clearing their throat behind me. I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder and turned to glare at the person but was faced with familiar crimson eyes.

'You're in my seat', his deep voice resonated in my ears.

'Does it have your name on it? I don't think so'. I turned back to my book, getting ready to become immersed in bleak America when I heard someone sit across from me. I glanced up and frowned.

'There are no rules against me sitting here'. The bluenette smirked; the bastard knew he was annoying me.

'I never said you couldn't.'

'Your face did.' He turned to look at a table where Tala was sitting, surrounded by people. 'Wouldn't you rather sit with them compared to her all by your lonesome?' He was taking the piss out of me, annoying twat.

'Well, I'm not alone now am I? Thank you so much for sitting with me', I gave him my most sarcastic smile and went back to my book.

Again I felt pinpricks on my skin where he was looking at me, judging me. 'Stop glaring at me, you're freaking me out.' I looked up and was a little taken aback. He looked at me curiously, inspecting every inch of me. It was like he could see inside my mind, the deepest crevices where my worst fears lay. 'What?' I inquired, quite rudely.

'Nothing,' he turned to his bag and pulled out a book of his own; Crime and Punishment. I guess he does have a brain behind his good looks. Wait… what? Good looking? Where did that come from? Get a grip Felicity. I shook my head and tried to focus on my book but the teen in front of me was magnetizing. Every so often I had to look at him; he made me feel self-conscious and… scared. I needed to keep an eye on him and keep control of myself. A bell rang signalling the end of lunch and we both stood up to go to class.

He glanced at me before walking away. What a weird guy.

…

I was the first person in the chemistry lab and took a seat furthest away from the board next to the window. Teens started sauntering into the room until it was almost full after which the teacher arrived.

'Alright class settle down. I am Mr Whitlock and I will be teaching you chemistry this year.' A young man stood in front of the class. He had fluffy brown hair and blue eyes; the girls were already flirting with him and just brushed them off like this was a daily occurrence. Looking at him, it probably is; he's hot to be honest.

The lesson continued with no-one sitting next to me which was alright I guess. The teacher walked around the class helping people who needed it. I flew through the questions and finished before some people had even started. That was the disadvantage of being home schooled by Conrad; he taught me everything before I was meant to know it. Mr Whitlock sat in the empty space next to me and asked if I needed any help to which I replied no. He looked at work and surprise crossed his face.

'You've finished already? That was quick, I think we have a genius among us', he smiled at me warmly. 'I'll let you sit and relax for a while'. He winked at me before walking away to help someone with their hand up.

I watched him walk away and my eyes met ice blue ones. 'You've finished? Jeez are you like super smart or something? By the way, I'm having a little get together after school and I thought you might like to come. Plus, I know Hilary wants to get to know you a little better'.

'Erm, thanks but I'll pass, still getting used to this place and I'm a little tired today.' I turned back to my work, ending the conversation. I didn't really want to get attached to anyone here. It's better to let these 2 years go smoothly without drama. Everyone knows relationships bring drama so it's better to avoid them. Kazuma and Ash are enough for me.

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