A/N: Hey guys sorry it took so long for an update! You might have noticed that my pen name has changed! No worries though it's still me writing. I had to change the pen name for a number of reasons. If you are really interested in them PM me but for the rest of you just know that catethewritergirl is the same person that unwrittencate is... or was rather... :) Okay now back to the story.
Alexis pulled back after a few seconds, a look of mild horror on her face, "Oh my God, Tommy, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have-"
Tommy shook his head and placed his hands on her shoulders, "It's okay Doc, I get it."
"Listen I-"
"No Doc," Tommy said, "My turn this time. I love you okay? I know that you aren't ready for that. I don't know if you ever will be and that's okay." Tommy was looking straight into her eyes but his shoulders were shaking slightly as he released his grip on Alexis' arms. He moved to stand up.
"Tommy wait," Alexis reached out to him, "I do love you. I really do. But,"
"But what?"
"I don't want to lose you." Alexis can feel the tears forming on the edge of her eyelids but she held them back stubbornly refusing to let them fall.
"You're not gonna lose me Doc. I've been in love with you for five years, what on earth would make you think that would change?"
"I'm not someone that can be in relationships! I've got Kate and Alex to take care of and I can't put myself ahead of them, not when they need me so much." Alexis gave up on stopping the tears.
Tommy reached up to brush one of the tiny droplets off her cheek, "Doc, I know. I was there. Kate and Alex are like my family too. I would never make you choose between me and them. You are my family. You all are my family."
Alexis nodded, "Okay. Okay, how about we just start this slow, see how it goes?"
Tommy's eyes brightened considerably, "That sounds good Doc. What would you say to joining me tomorrow night for dinner?"
Alexis started to nod when she remembered Kate's request, "Oh I completely forgot." Tommy's face fell slightly, "I'm supposed to invite YOU over."
"Well then Dr. Castle that can be arranged." Tommy said with a smile on his face. Alexis nudged him playfully as they turned toward the bar to finish their drinks.
The next morning Alexis walked in to find a morgue full of bodies for her to identify, she took a sip of her coffee and set to work intent on finishing before her dinner with Tommy. She pulled back the first sheet and drew in a startled gasp. Lying on the metal table was her father, pale as ice with cold blue eyes open and staring at her. She threw the sheet back over his head and leaned back against the wall. She collected herself and pulled back the next sheet, Kate's empty eyes stared back at her. She threw back each sheet one by one and was faced with the dead bodies of Alex, Lanie, Ryan, and Esposito. Underneath the final sheet was Tommy, his soft face had yet to show any signs of death but he was unresponsive as Alexis called his name. Every one of their files listed manner of death as homicide and each was still unsolved. Within seconds the bodies disappeared and Alexis was alone. The cold white of the morgue engulfed her and she found herself screaming for her family that she had just seen on her slabs.
The walls seemed to be coming ever closer when a loud beeping filled the room. Alexis sat upright in her bed, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily as she reached for the snooze button on her alarm. It was just a dream she kept repeating mentally to herself. Just a dream, and yet part of it wasn't. Not all of the dream bodies were really alive. Her dad was gone.
5 YEARS EARLIER
The retrieval crew was zipping the black body bag as Kate knelt stone faced on the wet pavement of the sidewalk. Ryan and Esposito stood behind her both at a loss for what to do. They weren't entirely sure what to say to their sister-like friend who had just lost the love of her life.
"Beckett?" Ryan stepped forward after a few minutes and laid his hand on her shoulder.
"He's gone." Beckett looked up at him with empty eyes. Ryan was at a loss for words, nothing he could say would bring the writer back. "What am I supposed to do now?" Kate asked quietly, almost to herself.
"You have Alex, and Martha, and Alexis to think about." Ryan attempted.
A sudden realization flashed in Beckett's face, "What do I tell them? How do I tell Martha her son isn't coming home? What do I do when Alex wonders why all the other kids have a dad and he doesn't? Castle always knew how to deal with kids, he did such a good job with Alexis and now Alex won't have that. Wait, Alexis, she's at the morgue today! Someone has to call her before she finds out….."
Esposito nodded and began dialing on his cell phone. The call went to voicemail, "She didn't pick up boss."
Alexis' pager beeped notifying her of a new body at the same time her phone began to vibrate in her bag, she opted to attend to the body she could always call whoever it was back. Perlmutter handed her a clipboard and a prelim notes sheet, "Simple GSW, Dr. Castle can handle this one." The crew member set the black body bag on her table as Tommy walked in the door.
"Hey Doc, how's it hanging?"
Alexis smiled at her friend, "I'm about to start an autopsy. Want to join me?" She asked already knowing he would refuse.
Tommy's face twisted into a grimace, "No thanks Doc; I'm not into that kind of stuff."
Alexis shrugged, "Suit yourself, Detective." She unzipped the bag and let out a scream of panic.
"What is it Doc?" Tommy rushed to her side glancing at the bag as he passed, recognizing the face as Richard Castle, he pulled Alexis into his arms as she cried for her father.
They never really changed positions only location, Alexis was hesitant to let go of her friend as she was met with a heartbroken Kate and concerned Esposito and Ryan. She held his hand as Perlmutter, who took over the case, asked her if she was sure that this was indeed her father. Tommy took it upon himself to drive Alexis back to her apartment and then sat on the couch with her until she cried herself to sleep in his arms.
A/N: We are gonna be in past tense for a little while longer before we get to dinner with Kate and Alex. Please be a friend and leave me a review. ~Cate