"So remember when you asked if the creepy lawyer was hitting on me, and I told you no?" Elizabeth asked Toby at the bakery the following Monday.
"Yeah." Toby said.
"Well, now the status quo has changed, and in fact, yes, he is hitting on me. There is no room for doubt about that."
"Well, do you like him?"
"Toby!"
"Why not?" Toby said. "Just a question. I'd hope there's not…someone else getting in the way of your having an attraction to anyone else."
"Yeah, you." Elizabeth said. "What about it?"
"Elizabeth, we've talked about this." Said Toby. "I can't give you what you want. I'd be very happy if you were interested in someone else besides me. We talked about it, and you said you would try to be. There is nothing special about me."
"There is to me."
"Elizabeth-
"And it doesn't matter if you were the least exceptional person in the universe. Sometimes, when you have an attraction to someone, it's just..chemical. Who a person is attracted to doesn't come down to the details about them."
Toby shook his head. "No." he said.
"Why not?"
"Because, Elizabeth. I don't feel that way about you."
"But you would. If your parents marriage hadn't ended, and if you weren't so worried about death, and…if there was someone you felt that way about, it would be me, right?"
"Elizabeth…." Toby shook his head. "I can't answer that."
"Why not? It's true. If there were such a thing as someone you were crazy in love with, and felt that way about, and wanted to be with for the rest of your life, it would be me, right. But you don't, so…"
"Well, maybe it wouldn't, Elizabeth." Said Toby. "Have you ever thought of that?"
"Why?" Elizabeth said. "Why not, Toby?"
"Because I'm just not in love with you." Toby said. "Not…not that way. I mean, in college, I was attracted to you. You're a great girl, and you were so…devoted to me. For some reason. No one had ever been devoted to me in that way before. And we had a great thing."
"Had?" Elizabeth said.
"Yeah. But it passed. We outgrew each other…or I thought we did. I thought we could be great friends afterwards. I thought all the…poison had gone out of our relationship."
"The poison?" Elizabeth said.
"Yeah," Toby said. "You know. All the bitterness, and the hostility, and the…fear, and neuroses that come when two people are intimate with each other. I thought we'd gotten to a place where we could be real with each other."
"That's what you think a relationship is?" Elizabeth said. "Full of poison?"
"When you're really attracted to each other it is." Toby said. "My parents were crazy in love, at one point. And then they spent their whole life fighting, after the passion wore off. Actually, they spent most of their passionate days miserable, too. So. That's what a relationship is all about. Poison, and then…malaise, after you lose your attraction to each other. And then death."
Elizabeth sniffled, and shook her head. "You are really screwed up, Toby." She said, sniffling.
"Yeah, well. Maybe. Maybe not, too. Maybe that's really the way it is."
"Yeah, well, anyway. I knew all of that already." Said Elizabeth. "How you feel about relationships."
"Well, what I'm trying say is…" He sighed. "Elizabeth, the fact is, that…maybe I'll find someone to be…in the poisonous stage with…but that person is not you."
"Why not?" said Elizabeth.
"Because…it's like you said a minute ago. It's just a chemical thing. Sometimes, you're just not in love with a person, and I…I…" He looked away. "I never was in love with you."
Elizabeth sniffled. "Well, I was. With you." She said. "Like no one else."
"Yeah. I know, Liz, but…" He sighed. "Maybe you can work on…not being. Maybe you can work on…there actually being someone else."
"I don't know, Toby."
"Come on," Toby said. "We've talked about this. And you said that you would try."
Elizabeth sniffled. "I guess, I could try. For you."
"For you." Toby said firmly.
"Right. That, too." Elizabeth said, sniffling.
"Do you like this guy?" Toby said.
Elizabeth looked at him like he was crazy. "What? The lawyer? Mr. Grey?"
"Yeah." Toby said.
"Stefan?" Elizabeth said.
"Yeah, yeah. The lawyer. Mr. Grey. Stefan." Toby said, rolling his eyes. "Clearly, I see that you must."
"I don't see how you see that at all." Elizabeth said. "And no, of course, I don't. That's disgusting."
"Well, what's so disgusting about him?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "I can't stand him."
"Well, is he good looking?"
"Not to me." Said Elizabeth.
"But he might be to someone? In your opinion?"
"I didn't say that."
"You implied, it though."
"Toby, I did not!" said Elizabeth indignantly. "And besides, he's a loathsome creep."
"Why? What did he do?"
"He just is. Half the time, he sounds like a comatose, walking dead, socially awkward, droning zombie." Elizabeth said. "And then the other half of the time, he's a smug, insinuating, self-righteous, sarcastic comatose, droning zombie." Elizabeth said.
"Wow. That was certainly a lot of adjectives." Toby said.
"Wasn't it?"
"For someone you say that you have no interest in at all."
"Shut up, Toby." Said Elizabeth. "Now you sound like my father."
"Well, maybe he's right."
"Right about what? That I should be interested in someone who claims he's concerned about my welfare when it's obvious he's just interested in one thing."
"How do you know it's not more?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't care if it is. I don't want him near me."
"Why? What are you afraid he's going to do?"
"I think he wants to get inside my head." Said Elizabeth.
"Well, maybe he already is." said Toby. "Besides, isn't that what attraction is all about? Getting inside someone's head?"
Elizabeth shook her head.
"You should think about it." Toby said.
Several days passed, and Elizabeth picked her father, and dropped him off at work without incident. However, one day, Amy, who worked as a baker at the shop, approached her as she walked behind the counter.
"Hey, Liz, some guy came in here looking for you Saturday. I told him you weren't here most weekends."
"Some guy?" Elizabeth said. "Damn it."
"You know him?"
"I have a feeling I might. What did he look like?
Amy shrugged. "Hard to say."
"Blonde hair?" Elizabeth said.
"Yeah, I believe so."
"Kind of dark blond?" said Elizabeth. "Fortyish?"
"Yeah. Maybe around forty."
"Droning voice?" said Elizabeth. "Kind of awkward? Sneezes?"
"Sneezes, yeah. Definitely."
Elizabeth shook her head.
"Friend of yours?"
"Not really." Said Elizabeth.
Later that afternoon, Elizabeth was at the cash register, and was filled with dismay, though not surprise to see Mr. Grey standing in front of the counter.
"You want me to get a restraining order?" said Elizabeth.
"Uh…that would be a bit extreme, wouldn't it?" said Mr. Grey.
"Not really." said Elizabeth. She was about to say something more, when Mr. Grey sneezed loudly, startling her. She rolled her eyes, but then smiled.
"Je Reviens." She said.
"What?" said Mr. Grey.
"My perfume." Elizabeth said in a louder voice, leaning close to him to emphasize. "Like it?"
Mr. Grey sneezed again. "Not really, no." He said.
"Too bad." Elizabeth said, smiling.
"But I'll adapt." Said Mr. Grey.
"No, no you won't." said Elizabeth. "Not if I have anything to say about it."
"We'll see."
"No, we won't see." Said Elizabeth. "Now please get out of here. We'd rather not have people sneezing on the baked goods. The board of health might come down on us."
"Really."
"Really." Said Elizabeth. "Out. Didn't you see the sign that said 'No sneezers'?"
"That's discrimination." Said Mr. Grey. "I could sue. And I'd win, too."
"How nice for you." Said Elizabeth.
"You're always flirting with me, aren't you, Elizabeth?" said Mr. Grey.
"You're truly insane, Mr. Grey." Said Elizabeth. "I'm always trying to get away from you."
"Because you're attracted to me. Admit it." Said Mr. Grey.
"No, I'm not." Said Elizabeth.
"You are. And there's nothing wrong with it."
"This is some stalker shit right here, Stefan." Elizabeth said.
"Hardly." Said Mr. Grey. "But if you want to call me Stefan, you have to have dinner with me. Tonight. What do you say?"
"Mr. Grey. You're making a fool of yourself. It's beneath your dignity. And if you're anything, I'd say that you're a dignified man."
"Really?" Mr. Grey said, narrowing his eyes at her. "And what about what's beneath your dignity, Elizabeth? Hmmm? What about that?"
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"I think you do." Said Mr. Grey.
"I don't, now leave if you're not going to buy anything."
"Elizabeth." Said Mr. Grey. "Stop being so hostile, and have dinner with me."
"Mr. Grey." Elizabeth said. "No."
"Elizabeth-
"Now buy or go." Elizabeth said, pointing at the door, her face devoid of humor.
Mr. Grey looked at her, shaking his head. "Aberrant behavior." He said. "Aberrant."
"Go." Elizabeth said angrily.
Mr. Grey walked out, not looking in the least happy. Elizabeth took a deep breath, shaking her head angrily.
"Hey, Liz." Toby said to her later that evening, after the bakery was closed.
"Yeah." Said Elizabeth, sounding distracted.
"Uh, about…you know."
"No, I don't know. What?"
"Your, uh…Mr. Grey."
Elizabeth looked at him irritably. "What about Mr. Grey, Toby?"
"It's just that…that whole thing today…I was sort of…standing right near you, and-
"And what, Toby?"
"I sort of…heard the whole thing." He looked at her.
"And?"
"Well, I just think that…he might be right."
"About what, Toby?" said Elizabeth angrily.
"I mean…is there really any reason you have to be so hostile to him? He doesn't tolerate liars. So what?"
"You saw him. Does he seem like someone who's tolerable to be around?"
"Uh…" Toby said. "He doesn't seem that bad to me. I mean, maybe he's a little…blunt, but…"
"A little blunt?" said Elizabeth making a noise of incredulity. "He's an asshole."
"Well…maybe, but he's one who obviously likes you a whole lot, Elizabeth." Said Toby. "There's no reason to be rude to him."
"I told him no. He won't take it for an answer." Elizabeth said. "That's a good reason to be rude to him, Toby."
"Well, maybe you should tell him yes." Toby said. "Did you think of that?"
Elizabeth laughed incredulously. "Toby, I can't believe you." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Who's side are you on, anyway?"
"Yours." Said Toby. "That's why I think you should maybe give him a chance. No one said you had to be betrothed to him or anything. Maybe he'd be good for you. You agreed, you'd give others a chance."
"Not him." Said Elizabeth.
"I highly doubt there's anything all that wrong with him that you can't go to dinner with him once."
"Toby-" Elizabeth said. She shook her head. "What the hell's wrong with you, anyway?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why don't you want me anymore?"
"Oh, Elizabeth." Toby said. "No."
"You know, I remember one time we did it in that little alcove in the back of the bakery. You remember that?"
Toby shook his head.
"You don't?"
"I do, but I-
She put her hand on his. "What if I said I wanted to go back there, and do right now, Toby? Would you? Would you still want me?"
"I would." Toby said. "I would want to, but in the end, that would be all it would be. And I won't, because…I'm not going to…to take advantage of you, Elizabeth. So no."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Toby-
"And you know what else, Elizabeth?" Toby said. "You don't want me anymore, either."
"Yes, I do." Elizabeth said. "I do, Toby."
"No. No, you don't. You just won't admit it." Said Toby. "You don't want to do it in the alcove, and you don't want anything else with me anymore. But you're afraid to admit it."
Elizabeth looked at him disconsolately.
"Really." Toby said. "You need to let go. Not live to like me anymore."
"And then…and then the poison will go out?" Elizabeth said, looking at him, her tongue on one side of her mouth. "Of our friendship?"
"Exactly." Toby said.
"And then what should I do, Toby?
"Well…" Toby said. "That's up to you. But maybe you should at least consider…what's his name."
"You don't like him, either." Said Elizabeth.
"I don't know him." Said Toby. "But I see that he certainly has the ability to make your hackles go up."
"So I should just…embrace my…supposed feelings for…that…thing you saw?" said Elizabeth.
"Now he didn't seem all that bad to me, Liz." Said Toby. "You can't blame him for getting a little bent out of shape after you rejected him in a public place."
"Who sounds like he has throat cancer?" Elizabeth said.
"Well, I…didn't particularly notice that, but again…the fact that you did certainly indicates you must be paying pretty close attention to him, Liz."
Elizabeth shook her head, chuckling.
"Don't you agree?"
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Maybe." She said.
"Ah, progress." Said Toby. "See, that's the first step."
"I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing, it though." Said Elizabeth. "That's the thing."
"I can see that." Said Toby. "But you might want to swallow your pride. We all have to do that one time or another."
"Yeah, I guess so." Said Elizabeth.